[NFBF-L] Discrimination Against the Blind Isn’t Just a Sighted Thing from July monitor

[Tish Kooper]

I think this article is so true, and sadly merely taps the surface on a
variable set of false attributions, biases, barriers, and limitations we as
blind people perpetuate within our community of diverse blind persons. It
often feels like sources of assumed support , in reality, represent
unfortunate mindsets we must fight against. I say "assumed" as it would
seem beyond the quest for major causes at the national level, we often
carry perceptions of ourselves, at the individual level, that are not very
healthy or positive resulting in (consciously or unconsciously) imparting
barriers upon our fellow blind community members.

The article was not shocking to me, but I appreciate it being put into
print. It highlights how insecure persons who are blind  push out into the
world upon others who are blind unnecessary and unfortunate barriers.
Obviously, it is not just  a blind person thing, but a "human" nature
thing. One hopes (in theory) when encountering someone who is also blind  a
greater state of empathy and understanding, and even willingness to learn
from a blind person who is pushing past or against barriers and limitations
in order to help one push past an insecurity.

Beyond that, parents hardly think the mate their son or daughter chooses is
ever good enough! So, there's that thing too! All a matter of perspective
and openness to hear others and have the courage to change your own falsely
held perceptions.

The article is only one side of a larger story!

On Sat, Aug 7, 2021 at 8:34 AM DENISE VALKEMA via NFBF-L <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
wrote:

> What are your thoughts on this article?
> Discrimination Against the Blind Isn’t Just a Sighted Thing
>
> *by Gary Wunder*
>
> [image: Gary Wunder]Reading Shawn Calloway’s story in the June issue of
> the *Monitor* got me thinking about my first romantic relationship, and
> what a pleasant thought and a life changer that was. I was raised during my
> teen years in a small town with a sign saying population 216. Like every
> young man, I wanted to date, but besides a date for the junior senior prom,
> mostly I struck out. In my town and in those times, the boy drove the car
> that picked up the girl, and without a car, there was nothing to do. Our
> town had a gas station and a post office; neither helped with romance
> unless one was dating from afar.
>
> My life changed when I came to the University of Missouri Columbia and
> found that I could walk almost anywhere I wanted to go. The bank, the
> restaurant, the movie theater, and a nice park were all within my ability
> to reach without first having to arrange or beg for a ride. It didn’t take
> long after coming to campus to realize that there was more to college than
> books. There were girls, women, and one of them in particular liked me and
> I liked her. I love the touch of the hand, the embrace so much different
> from hugging mom, and the way it felt when she put her head on my shoulder.
> I felt more alive than I had ever felt.
>
> She was not at all concerned about the fact that I was blind, but, like
> the fathers in Shawn’s experience, there was rough sailing ahead. In my
> story, however, the father was blind, and he was quite sure that his
> daughter could do quite a lot better than a relationship with a blind man.
> My girlfriend’s father did not work outside the home. He had very little
> self-confidence, and one of my girlfriend’s wishes was that she could get
> him in contact with people who might help change his perception of what
> life might have to offer if only he had a different view of himself.
>
> After an eight-week summer program, I went off to get myself a guide dog.
> Sam, my girlfriend, was still uppermost in my thoughts, so one of the first
> people I called using the payphone at the school was her. When her father
> realized to whom she was talking, I heard him say, “He’s not calling
> collect, is he?” That might’ve been a reasonable question from any father,
> no matter how well he could or could not see.
>
> It is strange to think about what motivates us in the work we do because
> sometimes those motivations seem contradictory. I was motivated by people
> who did things I didn’t think blind people could do and therefore opened up
> opportunities to me I didn’t think existed. I was motivated by blind people
> who broke down barriers so that I could go to school, hire human beings to
> read to me, receive special tape-recording equipment that would let me use
> books on tape, and the programs gave me enough money to buy food and other
> necessities. But I’m here to tell you that I was also motivated by that
> father who thought his daughter deserved better than to date a blind man. I
> might not be able to change his life, but what if I could change life for
> people of my generation and those who would come after?
>
> My girlfriend and I were both young; we drifted apart without a single bad
> word or argument, and almost two decades later we started to write to one
> another. She was never quite sure how much her father’s opposition played
> in our drifting apart. The part of her who valued being rebellious thought
> that it played no part at all, but the part who loved her father and wanted
> to be the good daughter also knew that his opinion did matter.
>
> There is no question that we want to change the opinion of the sighted
> public about our worth as human beings and our ability to participate in
> society, but it is equally true that we want to change the minds of other
> blind people who cannot envision the opportunities open to them if only
> they can believe in themselves and other blind people. When we pledge
> ourselves to go build the Federation, it is not organizational momentum or
> preservation of some legacy that we are talking about. It is talking about
> having a mechanism to bring about effective change, a structure that lets
> blind people talk among ourselves, venture to risk new ideas leading to
> opportunities, and knowing that we have the support of one another as we
> attempt the traditional or untraditional. If we are to have a hand in
> building the world we will live in and in the world our children will
> inherit, we need the right tools, and one of the most important is the
> National Federation of the Blind.
>
> Denise Valkema, President
>
> National Federation of the Blind of Florida
>
> valkemadenise at aol.com
>
> (305)972-8529
>
> WWW.NFBFLORIDA.ORG
>
> Follow us @nfbflorida
>
> Live the life you want.
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