[Nfbj] Article.

[David r. Stayer]

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David Stayer was literally pronounced dead before he was born.

When his mother went into labor more than three months early in April 
1940, the doctor

at the hospital wrote out a death certificate. Stayer was born weighing 
one and

a half pounds, he spent more than six months in the hospital, and it 
took him till

his first birthday to reach five pounds. People thought his mother was 
carrying

around a doll.

Stayer, who has lived in Merrick for nearly four decades, has also been 
blind since

birth. But Stayer's story is not of tragedy, but one of not just 
overcoming challenges,

but soaring past them.

"I believe that one of the purposes I have is to show people that 
blindness doesn't

have to stop you from accomplishing things," said Stayer, from the couch 
of the Merrick

home he has shared with wife of 37 years, Lori.

The Town of Hempstead recently honored Stayer at its "Make A Difference" 
awards ceremony,

which recognized 13 people who have dedicated their lives to enriching 
the lives

of others.

Stayer, the first disabled professional ever hired by Nassau County, 
worked for 37

years as a senior medical social worker at the Meadowbrook Nassau 
University Medical

Center.

"People would come into the hospital concerned with how they looked," 
Stayer recalled,

"but I couldn't tell that. I've always tried to use my blindness as a 
positive."

Born in Baltimore, Stayer moved to New York at the age of four because 
his parents

believed the state offered better opportunities for blind children. The 
oldest of

five children, Stayer graduated from Brooklyn College and then went on 
to the New

York University Graduate School of Social Work, where of the three blind 
students

admitted he was the only one to finish the program in two years.

Told to get a job before his second year of graduate school, Stayer had 
to call 40

hospitals before he got an interview, a victim of a society that 
stigmatizes blindness.

"I think there are worse things than not seeing," Stayer said, "but most 
people don't.

People fear AIDS and then blindness."

Stayer met Lori at a singles gathering in 1971.

"She saw me before I saw her," said Stayer, cracking up laughing and 
slapping his

hand onto his black trousers.

A year later, the Stayers were married. They are expecting their 11th

grandchild in March. Their two daughters are due to deliver a day apart, 
one with

her ninth child and the other with her second.

Lori Stayer said her husband rarely gets depressed about anything and 
she only gets

upset when others seem to take pity on her.

"One time in the supermarket, a lady said to me, 'I feel so sorry for 
you,' and I'm

thinking, 'Why?" she said.

David Stayer, 69, retired in 2002, but he keeps busy as the president of 
both the

National Federation of the Blind Human Services Division and the Greater 
Long Island

Chapter of the NFB.

Stayer also leads the Freeport Community Chorale, with whom he 
entertains the masses

with his booming tenor voice.

"He is a wonderful musician," said Jeff Bienenfeld, who nominated Stayer 
for the

town's "Make A Difference" award. "We can hear him singing from the back 
of the

synagogue. He tries not to overwhelm everyone, but somehow everyone 
hears him."

Bienenfeld called Stayer "tremendously inspirational to all of us" and 
one of the

most delightful people he has ever met.

Stayer said he sometimes still faces discrimination when he's out with 
his wife and

people talk to her and ignore him or at restaurants when the waiter asks 
Lori, "What

does he want?"

But Stayer does not want sympathy; he just wants to continue showing the 
world that

sight does not make the man.

"I've accepted it as part of my life," Stayer said of his blindness, 
"and the best

way to combat that is to prove what I can do."

For someone born weighing about as much as two apples, Stayer has 
certainly grown

into a much bigger, and inspirational, man.


-- 
Each day is a precious gift
  David R. Stayer, LCSW