[Nfbk] "Strong Is"

[John Glisson]

Strong is..

 

By Michelle Baute

 

I just read an article from a cancer mom on being strong. I agreed with
everything she said- except "tucking away your emotions".

 

I am just not able to do that all the time and upon reflection, here is my
list of being strong.

 

 

Strong is carrying on even though you want to break down. 

 

Strong is breaking down, anyway.

 

Strong is 'whatever gets you through the night'- xanax, wine,
anti-depressants, ambien. Take your pick.

 

Strong is taking time for yourself.

 

Strong is being consumed with worry over every little ailment.

 

Strong is waiting for the doctor to call / email you back.

 

Strong is imagining the worst and then if that doesn't happen- feeling
elated.

 

Strong is getting up and going to work every morning despite the worry.

 

Strong is coming to terms everyday with your new reality.

 

Strong is getting a good night's sleep.

 

Strong is feeling guilty for taking a walk, running an errand, or just being
able to leave the hospital room.

 

Strong is being there for your child when she feels sad and unrecognizable
due to her steroids.

 

Strong is listening to her steroid crying rages.

 

Strong is making her go outside of the house, even though she refuses.

 

Strong is still being the bitchy parent when your child plays on your
sympathies to get something she wants.

 

Strong is walking with her in public and acting like it's just another day
while she follows behind you with her N-95 big blue mask covering her face,
balding head, steroid puffed out cheeks.

 

Strong is making sure she takes all of her 31 pills a day.

 

Strong is giving her the IV medication and flushing her PICC line twice a
day. 

 

Strong is washing your hands and cloroxing your house multiple times a day.

 

Strong is giving hugs and saying "Everything will be alright" and trying to
believe that.

 

Strong is doing a surreptitious body check every day for signs of GVHD
complications.

 

Strong is holding your daughter while she cries.

 

while she feels bad.

 

while life goes on without her.

 

while friends have fun.

 

Damn instagram.

 

 

Strong is when you have no choice.

 

 

Strong is the ONLY choice.

 

 

 

 

Michelle Baute,  Lexington, Ky

--found in the book  <https://tsw.createspace.com/title/5324574> Where Do I
Find "God" Stories, by Paschal Baute, 2015, CreatSpace..

 

 

 

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