[Nfbk] Article: 10 Mistakes That Hurt Blind People the Most

Thu May 21 16:39:42 UTC 2015

Just a few quick thoughts:

1. Some of these things depend on your familiarity with a person. I,
for instance, have friends who will, from time to time, play a
friendly joke on me. In return, I play jokes on them. The warning tone
of this article, saying that the author would punch or strike the
individual with her cane, may create hesitance or standoffishness in
sighted people who would otherwise have approached a blind person for
friendship.

2. Sometimes I have needed to be told that a certain action of mine
was not generally accepted in a community where people interacting
with me can see. For instance, had no one told me to hold my head up
and speak toward the direction of people's voices when I was younger,
I would not have instinctively known to do this. Moreover, because I
cannot see other people's body language, I would not have known to
even ask. I call these situations "unknown unknowns." That is, certain
aspects of the non-blind world are unknown to me because I don't see
them. Compounding that, the fact that I don't even know that I am not
seeing them further adds to my, for lack of a better word, ignorance.

I am hoping to have a professional career in which I interact with
many people on a face-to-face basis every day. Part of my success will
depend on making sure that folks I am working with are comfortable
around me. It is bad business for me to say, "well, this person is
uncomfortable with the fact that I rock back and forth and rub my face
when we're speaking. I don't need their criticism, so I just won't
work with them." Rather, I am thankful that, from a young age, people
alerted me to certain behaviors or tendencies which may be off-putting
to others around me. I see this not as a reflection of my blindness,
but rather a logical outgrowth of the same things all children learn.
Cover your mouth when you sneeze. Look both ways before crossing the
street. For me, that simply expands to covering other physical
characteristics of which I would otherwise be unaware.

3. Finally, I cannot ignore the irony of a person who demands not to
be lumped with other blind people while offering a list of suggestions
which apply to all blind people. Sighted folks should be aware of some
things. Basic sighted guide techniques, for instance, or the
orientation of food on a plate using the face of a clock if you work
in food service, are valuable tools for anyone to know, just as
rudimentary knowledge of Spanish is useful knowledge. However, beyond
that, I do not believe that general caveats should be used to govern
interactions with blind people. Rather, we, as blind people, should
insure that our actions, in not letting our blindness define us and in
living the lives we want, serve as a catalyst in facilitating
interactions with all people, regardless of disability.

My best to all of you, and I can't wait for convention!

Best,
Chris

On 5/21/15, Karen Mayne via Nfbk <nfbk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I liked this.  One thing that I don't like that people do is defend other
> when the are patronizing or rude, saying things like, maybe they've never
> seen a blind person, or give them other excuses.  It happens to me all the
> time.
>
>
>   ----- Original Message -----
>   From: Kevin Pearl via Nfbk
>   To: NFBK
>   Cc: Kevin Pearl
>   Sent: Tuesday, May 19, 2015 5:38 PM
>   Subject: [Nfbk] Article: 10 Mistakes That Hurt Blind People the Most
>
>
>   I just ran across this article and thought it interesting enough to share.
> What are your thoughts?
>
>
>   By: Caitlin Hernandez.
>
>
>   There are many aspects of blindness that I wish were more universally
> understood: What we typically do and do not need help with, the fact that
> we’d much rather have people ask questions than say nothing at all and the
> reality that just because we do everyday things a bit differently, we aren’t
> performing magical, wondrous feats by any means.
>
>   But these problems can be solved fairly quickly once you become friends
> with a blind person, sit down to think seriously about them or do a Google
> search. So instead of sounding like every “How to Interact With a Blind
> Person” article ever, I’ve put together a list of the top 10 mistakes that
> even my friends and family sometimes make. Even though they don’t happen
> often, they are the kind of gaffes that tend to hurt or bother me the most
> when they do occur.
>
>   1. Don’t play games. Playing childhood games like “How many fingers am I
> holding up?” and “I’m going to pretend I’m not in the room with you” are not
> cute or funny.
>
>   2. No surprises. You may think it’s funny to run up behind your blind
> friend, playfully grab them and yell, “Boo!” But it will never, ever be
> funny to us. If you do this, you will probably either get punched or feel
> the pain of our cane introducing itself to your kneecaps.
>
>   3. Mess with my cane, and you shall regret it. Never take or move anyone’s
> mobility aid without asking. If you’d like to look at it, or even take it
> for a spin, by all means ask. I’ll most likely let you. But you’d better not
> run off with it or leave me stranded somewhere without it.
>
>   Also, if I don’t have my cane for whatever reason, it would be extra nice
> if you’d let me know you’re aware of this and are keeping an eye out.
>
>   4. I do not need an interior decorator. I know sometimes it’s an accident,
> but please don’t move my things without telling me. Especially if we’re at
> my house, and you move something then leave. Rearranging my stuff to fit
> feng shui principles could cost me a few hours.
>
>   5. Sighted does not equal superior.Sometimes sighted people like tell me
> how to dress and present myself in a condescending tone. I can’t see what I
> look like, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own sense of self, identity
> and image. If I want your advice, I’ll ask for it. But generally, I prefer
> compassion, not a list of “you coulds” and “you shoulds.”
>
>   6. Quit comparing. Blindness is just one trait. It doesn’t have any
> bearing on anything else about blind people as individuals. We come in all
> different flavors — like ice cream. We don’t like being compared to other
> blind people. “He could do this independently, why can’t you?” “He liked
> audiobooks, why don’t you?” “He wasn’t awkward, why are you?”
>
>   Perhaps worse is being held up alongside famous blind people like Helen
> Keller and Stevie Wonder. We can’t all be blind freaking superheroes and,
> more to the point, most of us don’t want to be blind freaking superheroes.
> Most of us are just normal people who happen to be blind.
>
>   7. Be a sensitive sighted guide.Unlike many blind people, I’m not
> particularly fussy about how I walk with sighted guides. If we’re close,
> warm-and-fuzzy pals, I’ll most likely link arms or hold hands with you. If
> we’re more formal acquaintances, I’ll do the traditional hand-on-elbow
> sighted guide. But here’s the bottom line: Don’t ever clench my wrist or
> hand in a vise-like grip and yank me around like I’m a 2-year-old. Don’t
> push and pull me by the shoulders, shove me from point-to-point with your
> hand on my back or fling your hands all over me in an attempt to show me
> where to go. Not acceptable.
>
>   8. Either ignore the blind flails or help. If you happen to notice me
> fumbling around looking for my drink or my napkin, see my cane get stuck in
> a crack in the sidewalk and slam me in the chest or watch as I get
> spectacularly lost and wander around in circles trying to get my bearings,
> please don’t make a big scene about it.
>
>   My blindness-related shortcomings aren’t fair game for dinnertime story
> hour, unless I make it plain that a healthy dose of teasing commentary is OK
> and won’t upset me. I’ll love you forever if you ignore these blind flails,
> or if you laugh them off with me and keep them between us. I’ll love you
> even more if you can see a blind flail coming and can help me avoid it in a
> discreet manner (this, of course, takes some practice.)
>
>   9. Don’t be dismissive. If I confide in you that something’s tough or
> scary for me because blindness adds an extra layer, please don’t discount my
> feelings by saying, “Everyone feels like that sometimes.” I appreciate that
> you’re trying to make me feel better and less alone, but this type of
> response can come across as flippant. It’s as if you’re thinking, “Don’t
> think you’re such a tragic, special, uniquely broken little snowflake just
> because you’re blind.” Do we all struggle? Of course. But blindness can
> indisputably make our struggles different. If I’m revealing blindness
> vulnerability, which I rarely will unless I trust you quite a lot, it will
> mean the world to feel listened to, understood and validated.
>
>   10. I do not exist to make you look awesome. Don’t make a big, braggy show
> of helping me, so you’ll look like a hero in front of the guy you have a
> crush on. Don’t talk about me patronizingly as if I’m Baby Einstein: “Look
> what Caitlin can do all by herself! Isn’t she so smart?” And don’t treat me
> like a trained seal: “Caitlin, show everyone how you Braille, use the
> computer and walk a straight line!” If you just ask me nicely, “Caitlin,
> would you mind showing us how you text?” I’ll be happy to do a demo nine
> times out of 10.
>
>   This article is online at:
>
>
> http://themighty.com/2015/05/10-mistakes-that-hurt-blind-people-the-most1/
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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-- 
Chris K. Stewart
University of Kentucky College of Law, J.D. Candidate, 2016
Senior Staff Editor, Kentucky Law Journal
Co-President, American Constitution Society
President, Election Law Society
California Institute of the Arts, B.F.A. 2010
Ph:
(502)457-1757