[nfbmi-talk] sound familiar like a certain mcb director?

Donna Posont donnabutterfly50 at gmail.com
Tue Aug 10 01:22:01 UTC 2010


I was going to ignore the earlier reference to the psychological evaluation 
of an individual. Now this has gone too far and it is not appropriate to put 
name calling and an assessment of an individual's pathological condition on 
this list. If these opinions must be shared It would be appreciated if this 
could be done so in personal emails and not on our entire NFBM list. Thanks 
for the consideration, Donna Posont
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "joe harcz Comcast" <joeharcz at comcast.net>
To: "NFB of Michigan Internet Mailing List" <nfbmi-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, August 09, 2010 8:32 PM
Subject: Re: [nfbmi-talk] sound familiar like a certain mcb director?


Here's more from a book on the issue of this pathology that used to be
called meglamania...It is a profile of Cannon to the "T":
The Narcissist in the Workplace


Question:

The narcissist turns the workplace into a duplicitous hell. What to do?

Answer:

To a narcissistic employer, the members of his "staff" are Secondary Sources
of Narcissistic Supply. Their role is to accumulate the supply (remember
events that support the grandiose self-image of the narcissist) and to
regulate the Narcissistic Supply of the narcissist during dry spells - to
adulate, adore, admire, agree, provide attention and approval, and,
generally, serve as an audience to him.

The staff (or should we say "stuff"?) is supposed to remain passive. The
narcissist is not interested in anything but the simplest function of
mirroring. When the mirror acquires a personality and a life of its own, the
narcissist is incensed. When independent minded, an employee might be in
danger of being sacked by his narcissistic employer (an act which
demonstrates the employer's omnipotence).

The employee's presumption to be the employer's equal by trying to befriend
him (friendship is possible only among equals) injures the employer
narcissistically. He is willing to accept his employees as underlings, whose
very position serves to support his grandiose fantasies.

But his grandiosity is so tenuous and rests on such fragile foundations,
that any hint of equality, disagreement or need (any intimation that the
narcissist "needs" friends, for instance) threatens the narcissist
profoundly. The narcissist is exceedingly insecure. It is easy to
destabilise his impromptu "personality". His reactions are merely in
self-defence.

Classic narcissistic behaviour is when idealisation is followed by
devaluation. The devaluing attitude develops as a result of disagreements or
simply because time has eroded the employee's capacity to serve as a FRESH
Source of Supply.

The veteran employee, now taken for granted by his narcissistic employer,
becomes uninspiring as a source of adulation, admiration and attention. The
narcissist always seeks new thrills and stimuli.

The narcissist is notorious for his low threshold of resistance to boredom.
His behaviour is impulsive and his biography tumultuous precisely because of
his need to introduce uncertainty and risk to what he regards as
"stagnation" or "slow death" (i.e., routine). Most interactions in the
workplace are part of the rut - and thus constitute a reminder of this
routine - deflating the narcissist's grandiose fantasies.

Narcissists do many unnecessary, wrong and even dangerous things in pursuit
of the stabilisation of their inflated self-image.

Narcissists feel suffocated by intimacy, or by the constant reminders of the
REAL, nitty-gritty world out there. It reduces them, makes them realise the
Grandiosity Gap between their fantasies and reality. It is a threat to the
precarious balance of their personality structures ("false" and invented)
and treated by them as a menace.

Narcissists forever shift the blame, pass the buck, and engage in cognitive
dissonance. They "pathologize" the other, foster feelings of guilt and shame
in her, demean, debase and humiliate in order to preserve their sense of
superiority.

Narcissists are pathological liars. They think nothing of it because their
very self is false, their own confabulation.

Here are a few useful guidelines:

·         Never disagree with the narcissist or contradict him;

·         Never offer him any intimacy;

·         Look awed by whatever attribute matters to him (for instance: by
his professional achievements or by his good looks, or by his success with
women and so on);

·         Never remind him of life out there and if you do, connect it
somehow to his sense of grandiosity. You can aggrandize even your office
supplies, the most mundane thing conceivable by saying: "These are the BEST
art materials ANY workplace is going to have", "We get them EXCLUSIVELY",
etc.;

·         Do not make any comment, which might directly or indirectly
impinge on the narcissist's self-image, omnipotence, superior judgement,
omniscience, skills, capabilities, professional record, or even
omnipresence. Bad sentences start with: "I think you overlooked . made a
mistake here . you don't know . do you know . you were not here yesterday
so . you cannot . you should . (interpreted as rude imposition, narcissists
react very badly to perceived restrictions placed on their freedom) . I
(never mention the fact that you are a separate, independent entity,
narcissists regard others as extensions of their selves)." You get the gist
of it.

Manage your narcissistic boss. Notice patterns in his bullying. Is he more
aggressive on Monday mornings - and more open to suggestions on Friday
afternoon? Is he amenable to flattery? Can you modify his conduct by
appealing to his morality, superior knowledge, good manners,
cosmopolitanism, or upbringing? Manipulating the narcissist is the only way
to survive in such a tainted workplace.

Can the narcissist be harnessed? Can his energies be channeled productively?

This would be a deeply flawed - and even dangerous - "advice". Various
management gurus purport to teach us how to harness this force of nature
known as malignant or pathological narcissism. Narcissists are driven,
visionary, ambitious, exciting and productive, says Michael Maccoby, for
instance. To ignore such a resource is a criminal waste. All we need to do
is learn how to "handle" them.

Yet, this prescription is either naive or disingenuous. Narcissists cannot
be "handled", or "managed", or "contained", or "channeled". They are, by
definition, incapable of team work. They lack empathy, are exploitative,
envious, haughty and feel entitled, even if such a feeling is commensurate
only with their grandiose fantasies and when their accomplishments are
meager.

Narcissists dissemble, conspire, destroy and self-destruct. Their drive is
compulsive, their vision rarely grounded in reality, their human relations a
calamity. In the long run, there is no enduring benefit to dancing with
narcissists - only ephemeral and, often, fallacious, "achievements".



Return




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "David Robinson" <drob1946 at gmail.com>
To: "'NFB of Michigan Internet Mailing List'" <nfbmi-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, August 09, 2010 5:14 PM
Subject: Re: [nfbmi-talk] sound familiar like a certain mcb director?


> This is truly a perfect profile for Pat Cannon.  We always knew some kind 
> of
> label must apply to Cannon, now we have a name for it.  Thanks Joe.
>
> Dave
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfbmi-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfbmi-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of joe harcz Comcast
> Sent: Monday, August 09, 2010 4:22 PM
> To: nfbmi-talk at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nfbmi-talk] sound familiar like a certain mcb director?
>
>
> In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality 
> disorder
> (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
> List of 9 items
> . Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements
> and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate
> achievements)
> . Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance,
> beauty, or ideal love
> . Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be 
> understood
> by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or
> institutions)
> . Requires excessive admiration
> . Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of 
> especially
> favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
> . Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to
> achieve his or her own ends
> . Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings 
> and
> needs of others
> . Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or
> her
> . Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
> list end
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