[Nfbmo] Fwd: A Bit of Fun With Puns: Ark, Ark, Ark!

[DanFlasar at aol.com]

All,
      A whole bunch of puns because why should I  suffer alone?
Dan

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's  home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as  before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A  case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the  monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is  really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms  should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes  you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't  stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will?  (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a  banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She  was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken  crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you  get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The  man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck  with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the  LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is  tainted - Taint yours and taint mine. A boiled egg in 
the 
morning is hard to  beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget  fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once  you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread  recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate  clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well  done.