[Nfbmo] FW: Our seminar on dealing with grief

Thu Mar 17 10:46:11 UTC 2011

National was the hardest thing for me.  Peopple would see my badge and ask
if I were related to Ed.  Then they'd tell me a story and we'd both share a
bit.  When I went into the diabetes meeting, everyone in the room cried
except for my driver.  And that was another thing.  I had to take a
wheelchair because I had balance problems of unknown origin.  I had disk
fusion surgery after national which was also hard since I was here alone
without much help.

At state convention, I roomed with Susan Ford and her delightful mother and
got to see Ed's nieces for the convention.  Having the panel/memorial
helped, but I kept the tissues handy for the whole weekend.

Locally has been interesting.  Having balance problems which are being
corrected with physical therapy hasn't been easy.  I've missed chapter
events because at this point, II've had mobility independence issues which
will be correctedas my balance improves allowing me more freedom and
activity.
Gail Bryant
Columbia Braille Teaching Services L.L.C.
1212 London Drive
Columbia, MO 65203-2012
Phone: (573)817-5993
Cell: (573)268-4962
gbryant at socket.net

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbmo-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nfbmo-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Gary Wunder
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 9:04 PM
To: nfbmo list
Subject: [Nfbmo] FW: Our seminar on dealing with grief

Thank you Susan. I am passing this along.

Gary

  _____  

From: Susan Ford [mailto:johnsusanford at earthlink.net] 
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 9:48 PM
To: gwunder at earthlink.net
Subject: Re: Our seminar on dealing with grief

Gary:  

I want to add one thing to what Sheila said.  For me it was very important
to go to that first convention or other function, even if you are
emotionally unable to take in all of it.  There may be tears; people may
become overwhelming to you part of the time, but it is so helpful to feel
that they care.  I remember right after John died, less than a month. I went
to state convention and it was hard, but after that I had already been
through the hardest part, so I could move forward.  It might have been
easier to stay home, but if you do, you still haven't faced the first time
you see all the people who care about you.  Once you have seen them, it
isn't so hard to see them again.  But if you stay away, it becomes easier to
stay away the next time too.  That lonliness you feel will continue and get
worse, if you don't face it.  

Susan 

----- Original Message ----- 
From: Gary  <mailto:GWunder at earthlink.net> Wunder 
To: nfbmo list <mailto:nfbmo at nfbnet.org>  
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 3:13 PM
Subject: Our seminar on dealing with grief

I have had very little response to my inquiry about our seminar on grief
which was originally scheduled for Friday afternoon. Two of the people who
would have been presenters and who would have also benefited from the
interaction cannot attend if we do this on Saturday morning because they
have obligations to the Scholarship Committee. People who want it in the
afternoon are not sure that they can be there by four o'clock. I'm all for
doing this, but if we're going to set up the room, I'd like some clear
indication of who is going to come and participate.

Shelia Wright offers an observation that might be helpful as we think about
how to deal with the grief which springs from our recent and numerous
losses. Here's what she says:

Just some  thoughts about the loss so many have had this year.

I very much remember the first four conventions, after Harvey's death. I
didn't really fit anywhere. The more difficult times were the banquet, the
after banquet festivities,and other events where we would have normally
socialized as a couple. Times where you can back away without others
noticing and when even the couples you knew seem to back away. I know Susie
went and still goes through some of these times.

I remember feeling how convention (especially national) seemed like a snow
globe with all the people inside. As I circled around there was a glass
barrier that kept me from being a part of the happenings.

I think somehow making an opportunity to be sure we don't leave our friends
floundering during these difficult times during the convention would be much
more powerful than a meeting, particularly if we are going to include a
panel or agenda item on why and how cross-training in terms of home and
family management is so essential in our lives.

Shelia

  _____  

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