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<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Dear Gary,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>The older I grow and I have a birthday on the 22nd
of August, I know that I do not have all of the answers I was so certain of as a
green girl who thought she knew the world and her place in it. Your wisdom put
in such a heartfelt way always makes me pause to think, to smile and to reaccess
my own growing potential.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Thank you so truly.</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=nfbmo@nfbnet.org href="mailto:nfbmo@nfbnet.org">Afton Harper via
NFBMO</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=nfbmo@nfbnet.org
href="mailto:nfbmo@nfbnet.org">NFB of Missouri Mailing List</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Cc:</B> <A title=afton5797@gmail.com
href="mailto:afton5797@gmail.com">Afton Harper</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Thursday, August 13, 2026 2:46
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> Re: [NFBMO] Looking for
discussion and recommendations</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Gary,
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Thank you so much for this thoughtful message about relevance. This
message resonates with me deeply. And now I try to take on a growth mindset
with anything I decide to put on my plate. And it's helped me better
understand my own personal capacities and potential, too.</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>So, thank you for your wisdom today. </DIV></DIV><BR>
<DIV class="gmail_quote gmail_quote_container">
<DIV class=gmail_attr dir=ltr>On Thu, Aug 13, 2026, 14:14 Gary Wunder via
NFBMO <<A href="mailto:nfbmo@nfbnet.org">nfbmo@nfbnet.org</A>>
wrote:<BR></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE class=gmail_quote
style="PADDING-LEFT: 1ex; BORDER-LEFT: #ccc 1px solid; MARGIN: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex">
<DIV lang=EN-US style="WORD-WRAP: break-word" vlink="#96607D"
link="#467886">
<DIV class=m_6206416480344913583WordSection1>
<P class=MsoNormal>Can any of you relate to the experience of deciding
something wasn\u2019t relevant, only to pass on learning it to your ultimate
disadvantage? Here are some thoughts I\u2019d love you reaction
to:<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>I learned the word <I>relevant</I> somewhere along the
way, and I sometimes think I learned it too well.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Once I grasped the concept, I began sorting the world
into what was relevant to me and what was not. If I could see a direct line
between a subject and my immediate goals, I paid attention. If I couldn't, I
tuned out.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>The problem wasn't a lack of capacity; it was a lack of
perspective. At a young age, I assumed I was qualified to decide what I
would need to know for a life I had not yet lived.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>In school, my teachers tried to instill the eight parts
of speech. I learned just enough to get by, but I dismissed formal grammar.
I could already write reasonably well\u2014mostly through reading and imitation.
Why did I need to know whether a word was an adverb or a conjunction, a
preposition or an adjective?<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Years later, I became the editor of a
magazine.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Suddenly, what I had dismissed as tedious became
essential. As an adult, I had to work twice as hard to master what I\u2019d been
given every opportunity to learn as a child.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>I don't share this because I believe children should give
blind obedience to adults. And I certainly don't believe blind children
should be taught compliance as a substitute for independence. We want blind
children to ask hard questions, challenge assumptions, take risks, and
ultimately take charge of their own destiny.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>But independence isn't the same as omniscience. It
doesn't mean assuming we already know everything required to make good
choices.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>One of the hidden ingredients of potential is learning to
weigh the experience of those who have traveled farther down the
road.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Parents know things their children do not. Teachers know
things their students do not. Older blind people know things younger blind
people do not. None of them is infallible. Their advice will sometimes be
wrong, and what they call wisdom may occasionally be nothing more than
habit, fear, or outdated bias. Blind people know better than anyone that
adults can harbor tragically low expectations for blind
children.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>So the lesson can never simply be "Listen to your
elders."<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>It is something far more nuanced: Learn to distinguish
between someone trying to limit your future and someone trying to prepare
you for a future you cannot yet imagine.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>That distinction matters enormously\u2014especially for blind
children.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>A young blind person might reasonably ask: Why learn to
cook when food can be delivered? Why learn independent travel when someone
is willing to drive? Why master Braille when speech technology can read text
aloud? Why learn to manage money, organize a room, speak comfortably with
strangers, or conquer a tedious subject in school?<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Sometimes there is an immediate, obvious answer.
Sometimes there isn't.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Sometimes the best answer is simply: "I can't show you
today exactly when you'll need this, but those who have built the
independent life we want for you say that it matters."<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>That conversation requires humility on both
sides.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Parents must accept that their children will eventually
outgrow their knowledge. A blind child will discover tools and methods a
sighted parent never envisioned. Technology evolves; expectations shift. No
parent can script a child's future.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>But children need humility, too. They are being prepared
for a world they haven't yet met.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>I wish I had understood that sooner.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>There were things adults wanted me to learn that seemed
completely disconnected from my life. Sometimes I was right\u2014some of those
things made little difference. But sometimes I was spectacularly wrong. I
confused <I>"I don't see why this matters"</I> with <I>"This doesn\u2019t
matter."</I><U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>They are entirely different statements.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>That is why I've grown deeply cautious of the word
"relevance." Showing relevance creates immediate motivation, and that has
value. But we must teach something deeper: You cannot always know in advance
what life will require of you.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Education is partly preparation for the known, and partly
insurance for the unknown.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>This truth shapes how we ought to think about potential.
We often talk about potential as if it were merely intelligence plus drive.
It isn't that simple. What we achieve depends on what we are taught, the
opportunities we receive, the expectations placed on us, our resources, our
obstacles, who we meet, and plain good fortune.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Because of this, we should be slow to look at anyone and
declare they have "wasted potential." We rarely know the full weight someone
else is carrying.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Yet acknowledging different starting points doesn't mean
abandoning personal responsibility. It gives us a better framework for
it.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>The useful question is never, <I>"Why aren't you doing
what someone else is doing?"</I><U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>It is, <I>"What can you do with what you
have?"</I><U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>And the companion question for parents and mentors is,
<I>"What can I give this child today that enlarges their choices
tomorrow?"</I><U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Sometimes that means encouragement. Sometimes
opportunity. Sometimes it means refusing to accept low expectations born of
blindness. And sometimes it means insisting a child master something whose
purpose they cannot yet see.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>It is a delicate balance. We want children to become the
authors of their own lives. But authors need a rich vocabulary before they
can write, and much of that vocabulary is acquired long before we know which
words we'll need.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>At seventy-one, I cannot return to that childhood
classroom. I cannot tell my younger self to pay attention to grammar or
listen more closely to advice he was quick to dismiss.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Nor would I spend much time scolding
him.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>What I would ask him\u2014and any young person willing to
listen\u2014is simply to leave a little room for uncertainty.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Ask questions. Challenge assumptions. Demand reasons.
Take ownership of your life.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>But when someone who genuinely cares about your future
tells you something is worth learning, consider one possibility: The reason
you cannot see its relevance today may not be that it lacks
value.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>It may simply be that you haven't traveled far enough
down the road to see it yet.<U></U><U></U></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><BR><BR><U></U><U></U></P>
<P
class=MsoNormal><U></U><U></U> </P></DIV></DIV>_______________________________________________<BR>NFBMO
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