[NFBNJ] Blind Vine: The year the earth stood still.

[joe ruffalo]

Greetings to all!

I received the following email last night as it was forwarded to those that 
receive the Blind Vine.

After reading, I contacted Debbie Azzarone to ask permission to forward to 
all on the NFBNJ distribution list.  She agreed.

Thanks Debbie for sharing.

Joe

We care. We share. We grow. We make a difference
Joe Ruffalo, President
National Federation of the Blind of New Jersey
973 743 0075
nfbnj1 at verizon.net
www.nfbnj.org
Raising Expectations To Live The Life You Want!
Subject: Blind Vine: The year the earth stood still.

And it’s not over yet.



Hello Viners,



How would you describe this year?

To me it was like a sudden change in the rotation of the earth caused 
everything to stop, slow down, shake our reality, and tossed us into a 
parallel universe we were not prepared for.

It felt like in a 24 hour period I was being rushed out of my second home, 
VLANJ, told I had better get as much toilet paper and Clorox wipes as I 
could get my hands on, separate myself from friends and loved ones, and don 
a mask or risk facing sure death.

Schools shut down, shops and restaurants closed their doors, Dr visits 
became virtual or non-existent. It was phone calls only or total loneliness.



All we heard each day on the news was the list of latest death totals and 
cases of Covid-19.

All we prayed for was to not get a call that someone we knew contracted it 
and passed away, but the phone calls came, and I’m sure we all know at least 
one person whose life was taken by this horrible disease.



The perfect circle of life became a jagged and fuzzy puzzle piece and didn’t 
fit in anything we once perceived as normal.

Babies took their first breath without their father being allowed to witness 
it. The elderly took their last breath alone in a hospital or nursing home 
without their loved ones holding their hand.

Students missed their graduation ceremonies, brides and grooms couldn’t have 
their planned wedding celebrations, little kids who don’t understand why had 
no birthday parties, and  there was not a damn thing we could do about it.

Summer holidays weren’t celebrated with picnics, parades and fireworks were 
canceled, vacations were scrapped, and after that long summer, the schools 
we hoped would reopen in September couldn’t.

Will there be a Halloween for the little ones? We can’t vote the way we 
always have. Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas dinners with family is up 
in the air and anyone’s guess.



People who only had several months left to live didn’t get to spend those 
months with their grandchildren, or do the things they wished to do while 
they still could. They didn’t get their last summer.

This is the part that hit my family personally, and makes me feel like this 
was a cruel joke that can’t be fixed.



BUT…



On the other hand, along with the sadness of the past6 months, there was a 
beautiful thing that happened while we weren’t looking.

Being consumed with sadness, severe inconvenience, daily disappointments and 
fear, we took a while to see the beautiful light that rose from our 
humanity.

Friends and neighbors began calling to offer to pick up food for us at the 
grocery store, neighbors that didn’t often stop to chat were now 
commiserating with each other as we took out the garbage and grabbed our 
deliveries that sat on our front porch. This turned into an opportunity to 
meet the people who share our block, but are not often home to chat with.



Meetings and Church services that I hadn’t been able to attend for a long 
time due to my husband’s illness, and inability to drive me to, became 
virtual, and I was again able to participate.

Our hero staff at the VLA of NJ worked their little butts off creating a 
series of Zoom classes to keep us connected and informed. Nothing beats 
being together in person, but without their efforts, our days would have 
been desperately lonely and incredibly empty.

You guys never stopped checking up on Lenny and me, and that made such an 
enormous difference.



I’m not being a Polly Anna here, but people’s whose lives never crossed 
paths now were sharing something. We became more open and more concerned 
about each other, even strangers we never gave a second glance to became our 
partners in this fight for a return to the reality we once knew and terribly 
missed.

People I never met, but occasionally spoke to on my town’s FB page would 
post something like; “Hey guys, I’m at ShopRite and they have Lysol, anyone 
need some?”

People who knew of my husband’s infirmity from FB posts only were messaging 
me to see if they could help me in any way.



I guess what I’m taking way too long to say is we must always look for any 
silver lining in even the suckiest of clouds.



I’m not going to deny that I hate that my husbands last few months were 
robbed of the joy of being with his grandkids, and I was deprived of those 
months with them too. I can’t get that time back, and it makes me mad as 
hell.

I’m sad that family and friends were unable to travel to NJ for his funeral 
due to having to quarantine when they arrived, thanks Governor, and I’m sad 
that people who were older or who had conditions that made it too dangerous 
for them to attend large gatherings couldn’t, and I certainly understand, 
but he still had a large group of people come, so I am grateful for that. If 
he had passed too much sooner, he wouldn’t even have been permitted to have 
a wake at all, and for that I am very fortunate.



However, and this is a big however, if this doesn’t end soon, I fear what 
will happen.

How is this going to effect the young children missing out on the best part 
of their education, social skills and making lifelong friends?

How will people who poured all they had into their small business ever 
recoup?

Will the political blame game concerning this virus further divide an 
already divided country?

And for me personally, and I’m sure I’m not alone here, will the depression 
that has begun to creep in get worse?

I need people. I need to touch them, hug and kiss them, sit with them at 
lunch again.

I need to laugh with them in our VLANJ classes.

Who is going to make fun of Tom and keep him in line if I’m not next to him 
in pottery to do it?



I need to be with you all again. I don’t know if I can do this without you 
being physically nest to me.

I know your thoughts and prayers are with me, and for that I am the luckiest 
person, but I want more. I need more, and I want to give you more too.



So 2020, you can’t leave soon enough for us, and you had better take all the 
crap you brought with you when you came away with you when you leave. You’ve 
been one bitch of a year. You can leave one thing though, leave the caring 
we humans mustered up despite your desire to kill that too.





Your Blind Vine Team



"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back 
to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown


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