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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Ohio,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Today, I was hit with an activity that my adult daughter did and I could not believe it. Although she knows that I am blind, she left a McDonald’s cup filled with soda on my counter directly close to my computer. Luckily, I found it prior to turning it over. So, I went to the NFB website and found an article that M<strong><span style='font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'>iss Whozit wrote similar to my feelings. She knows better, but I wanted to pass this along if others are dealing with similar accounts. I thought that I was done with her; as I am working with my grandchildren to take ownership and be aware that I can not see when they do certain things.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'><o:p> </o:p></span></strong></p><p class=MsoNormal><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'>Here it is!<o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><p class=MsoNormal><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'><o:p> </o:p></span></strong></p><p class=MsoNormal><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'>Suzanne<o:p></o:p></span></strong></p><h1 style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></h1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'> ///<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;font-weight:normal'>Ask Miss Whozit</span></strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f">
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</v:shapetype><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="A formal place setting, complete with placecard bearing the Whozit logo and the words, �Miss Whozit.�" style='position:absolute;margin-left:164.8pt;margin-top:0;width:3in;height:170.25pt;z-index:251658240;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square;mso-width-percent:0;mso-height-percent:0;mso-wrap-distance-left:0;mso-wrap-distance-top:0;mso-wrap-distance-right:0;mso-wrap-distance-bottom:0;mso-position-horizontal:right;mso-position-horizontal-relative:text;mso-position-vertical:absolute;mso-position-vertical-relative:line;mso-width-percent:0;mso-height-percent:0;mso-width-relative:page;mso-height-relative:page' o:allowoverlap="f">
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</v:shape><![endif]--><![if !vml]><img width=288 height=227 style='width:3.0in;height:2.3645in' src="cid:image001.jpg@01D5A25A.85CE3DE0" align=right alt="A formal place setting, complete with placecard bearing the Whozit logo and the words, �Miss Whozit.�" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_1"><![endif]><strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>From the Editor: In recent years Miss Whozit has answered reader questions about etiquette and good manners, particularly as they involve blindness. </span></strong><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Dear Miss Whozit,</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>I have been legally blind for just under five years. I need your advice to decide how much it is reasonable for me to ask my family to modify their way of life now that I can’t see the messes they leave around the house.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>I have read Federation literature and am very encouraged about our attitudes about independence and normality, and I certainly don’t want to use blindness as an excuse, but I am having trouble with some things that my kids do. Since my diagnosis my husband has gotten better at closing drawers and cupboard doors—he is certainly better than he was when I could see to close them and avoid walking into their corners. I guess I should have taken a stronger stand on such things when the children were little because when the kids come home for visits from college and their jobs, they are making my life miserable. </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Not only do they leave doors half open, they leave their not-quite-empty soda cans on the coffee and end tables. Of course I find them the hard way and then have to clean up the spills that result. I have asked them to close drawers and clean up after themselves, not to mention removing their shoes and coats from the living room floor, but they apparently can’t be bothered. I don’t want to spend their visits complaining and nagging, but I also don’t want to spend them cleaning up messes and applying ice to my bruises. Please help me decide what is fair to ask others to do and chart a reasonable course in my home.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Bruised but Still Trying</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Dear Bruised,</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Miss Whozit commends you for your impulse to avoid using blindness as an excuse for insisting that the world be remade for your convenience. She merely wishes to enquire with all due respect, whose house is it anyway? A good deal of negotiating territory lies between insisting that every movable object in your home be returned to its exact location and no furniture should ever be moved out of its appointed position on the one hand and allowing members of your family to make your life miserable by disregarding reasonable requests to be considerate. Your husband can take a hand in resolving this unfortunate situation if he is willing to do so. When he observes someone leave a drawer open or sees a soda can in the living room, he can casually ask the offender to close the drawer or enquire whose can is on the table and then ask him or her to deal with it appropriately. Mostly adult children can be pretty lax about maintaining the rules of their parents’ home when they have become used to the trash heaps that most dorm rooms and first apartments become at their hands. But that is no reason why they should not be expected to remember the adage: when in Rome, do as the Romans do.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>When you are visiting in someone else’s home, Miss Whozit is quite certain that you try to meet or exceed the owner’s standard of neatness. You make the bed, hang up your towels, tuck away your possessions in public rooms, and offer to carry glasses and plates to the kitchen. Your children are becoming visitors in your home, and they should learn to adopt the same principle. When you are in an unfamiliar space, you would be advised to use your white cane to check your path and find room doors that are ajar, but you should not be forced to use the same precautions in your own home. Young children cannot be expected to pick up their possessions, and blind parents soon learn to kick the toys aside and pick up the mess frequently, but your adult children do not have the same excuse for inconveniencing or damaging you.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Miss Whozit emphatically urges you to establish rules of conduct in your home that will keep you in control of the space. She then urges you and your husband to inform your offspring and their friends that those who do not care to abide by these rules are welcome to spend their vacation time elsewhere and make brief visits when their behavior can be limited to that of casual guests. Hold the line by not making exceptions. If your home had just been painted, you would not allow anyone to write on the walls. If your husband was allergic to peanuts, you would not allow anyone to bring them into the house. No one would think you were obsessive if you asked people to remove their shoes before stepping onto new white carpeting. We all establish house rules to fit the circumstances of our families. Your circumstances have changed, and everyone should expect you to adjust the rules for your own convenience.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black'>Good luck holding the line.</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'> </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Suzanne Hartfield-Turner, President<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>NFBOH-Cleveland Chapter<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>C: (216) 990-6199<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>P: (641) 715-3900<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Ex: 582705<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>A: PO Box 141077<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Cleveland, Ohio 44114<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>E: </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><a href="mailto:President.NFB.ClevelandOhio@Gmail.com">President.NFB.ClevelandOhio@Gmail.com</a></span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>Please visit and take a moment to like our Facebook Page!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><a href="https://m.facebook.com/NationalFederationOfTheBlindOfOhioClevelandChapter/">https://m.facebook.com/NationalFederationOfTheBlindOfOhioClevelandChapter/</a></span><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'> <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'>The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the characteristic that defines you or your future. Every day we raise the expectations of blind people, because low expectations create obstacles between blind people and our dreams. You can live the life you want; blindness is not what holds you back.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p style='background:white'><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif'><o:p> </o:p></span></p></div></body></html>