[nfbwatlk] drive in custodialism

Sat Dec 13 18:55:56 UTC 2014

Marci et al:

In Lauren's situation, it might also have been that cars were having a sufficiently tough time keeping in control that they elected not to stop because that might have resulted in a loss of vehicle control which might have done Lauren more harm than simply keeping forward momentum.

Mike Freeman

-----Original Message-----
From: nfbwatlk [mailto:nfbwatlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Marci Carpenter via nfbwatlk
Sent: Friday, December 12, 2014 10:34 PM
To: Lauren Merryfield; NFB of Washington Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [nfbwatlk] drive in custodialism

Hi Lauren,

I don’t believe that the lack of assistance you encountered had anything to do with NFB attitudes. i have seen similar situations happen to any sighted people in many cities. It has to do with the societal attitude of “I don’t want to get involved” “If I do something and that person gets hurt I might get sued” and “ Somebody else will help her” Our centers do not teach arrogance or an “I don’t ever need anyone for anything” attitude.  Please also see my response to Debby’s post.

Marci Carpenter

> On Dec 12, 2014, at 9:53 PM, Lauren Merryfield via nfbwatlk <nfbwatlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi,
> I do not care for the attitude that we never need help either. I know 
> that we're "supposed to" be always in teaching mode, according to some 
> Federationists, but some of us are just living our lives and function 
> in a whole lot of different modes, teaching mode being only one of 
> them. And some of us have more difficulty multitasking multiple modes.
> 
> I had the same problem in Omaha when, especially in the winters, I 
> really needed help with the ice and huge piles of snow, though my cane 
> gave me good info. The upshot of Omaha's sighted people fearing 
> helping the blind brought on a terrible experience for me. I was 
> heading down to meet my bus to get to work. It was snowy, icy and treacherous out and I lived on a hilly street.
> The sidewalks were not scooped well at all so I walked at the edge of 
> the street. At one point, I lost my balance and landed in the middle 
> of the street. Cars drove around me. I was horrified! No one stopped 
> to help because the NFB in Omaha made sure people knew never to help 
> us. It took me a while to wait until there was a gap in traffic so I 
> could roll over to the curb and get up. My clothes were a mess so I 
> walked back home to change. I was so shaken up and so cold that it 
> took me a while to take another bus and arrive late to work, which 
> they didn't like. This was a bad day that could have been prevented if 
> we hadn't been so hard-nosed from the NFB to the agency for the blind. 
> I know people saw me, but they refused to stop. The whole thing didn't do anything to help my sense of self-esteem either.
> Except that I was able to get myself up, back home and eventually to 
> work by myself.Whoopy! I vaguely remember functioning okay by myself 
> but hearing the cars driving around me as I lay there in the muck and 
> freezing weather I remember vividly.  I was fortunate not to have been 
> hit or even killed due to hard-nosed attitudes. I remember wondering 
> how I was going to get to the edge of the street or if I'd even make it. I was terrified!
> Thanks
> Lauren, who reminds some that not all Federationists are alike. Some 
> of us do have a heart.
> Blessings to you in the name of Jesus Christ "Trust in the Lord with 
> all thine heart; and lean not into thine own understanding.  In all 
> thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 
> #3#5-6 My book is now available in audiobook format:
> www.TheresMoreThanOneWay.com
> Visit my new website at
> www.mythirtyone.com/604934
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nfbwatlk [mailto:nfbwatlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Debby 
> Phillips via nfbwatlk
> Sent: Friday, December 12, 2014 9:32 PM
> To: Don Mitchell; NFB of Washington Talk Mailing List; 
> portillo.jim at gmail.com; k7uij at panix.com
> Subject: Re: [nfbwatlk] drive in custodialism
> 
> Okay, I'm probably gonna piss some people off, but okay, what the 
> heck.  You know, we are blind.  We don't always see what's ahead.
> It isn't that we need people's help to do things in our lives, but it 
> sure isn't a bad thing if somebody offers to tell us what's ahead down 
> the road.  You know, in Denver blind people have such a reputation for 
> being rude that if a blind person did need help nobody would help 
> them.  This is the one thing that used to piss me off when I was not 
> in NFB.  It's that damned attitude of "I don't need anybody".  We all 
> need each other and people just need to stop getting their knickers in 
> a knot every time somebody offers a helpful piece of information.  
> This world is so frickin non-civil anyway.  Why do we have to add to 
> it?
> Isn't it okay to just smile and say, Thanks, and go on your way? 
> What does it hurt to treat people respectfully and not assume just 
> because they offer some information that they think we can't do stuff 
> without them.  I have been with my husband when he tried to tell a 
> blind person, "Hey, there's something in front of you."
> He could tell that by the way they were using their cane or not paying 
> attention to what their dog was trying to signal that they were going 
> to bump in to it.  The person would get all snappy.
> And then bam! They'd bump into the very thing he was trying to tell 
> them was there.  And then they'd be all mad because they bumped into 
> it.  This is the one thing about NFB that I don't like, and I'll NEVER 
> be this way.  I have given sighted people directions.  They don't seem 
> to get all pissy because I do.  It's only blind folks that do do.  So 
> kick me out if you want to, but this really frosts me.  We've lost the 
> ability to be human with one another because we're all so damned 
> scared that people are going to think us inferior, or dependent, or 
> God only knows what.
> We need to get over ourselves.  Well, now that I've had my rant and 
> will probably get a private reprimand, I think I'll go to
> bed.  Good night everybody.    Debby
> 
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