[nfbwatlk] drive in custodialism

[Debby Phillips]

Hi Marci, perhaps I am generalizing.  But I have been with people 
who were so rude to sighted people when they asked if help was 
needed that I was purely embarrassed.  A "No, I'm okay thanks" is 
sufficient.  But I have been with people who did the lecture 
thing: "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I need help".  And 
mostly, I'm afraid to say, those kinds of lecturing responses 
have been from people in NFB that I have known.  I heard comments 
on buses in Denver about: "Well, don't offer to help the blind 
people because they are rude".  I have heard people say that that 
is how they were taught to react to offers of help.  So if I'm 
generalizing I apologize, but I have seen it in action.  If 
someone helps me in a way that is more invasive, like grabbing my 
dog's harness, grabbing me, not accepting my no thanks, I'm fine, 
then I can get rude and nasty too.  But it doesn't have to be, 
and shouldn't be the first response out of my mouth.  In this day 
and age, it's actually refreshing sometimes to have someone ask 
if I need help, because frankly it doesn't happen all that often.  
Now, part of that could be that I look confident when I'm walking 
down the street so people don't stop to ask, but I think part of 
it is that people just aren't involved much anymore.

I remember discussing this issue with other students at CCB.  
Several people said that responding in the way they did was how 
they were taught to respond.  Their responses to sighted people 
verged almost on the hostile.  (None of the staff, just other 
students).

I'd be happy to read and discuss books or speeches, or whatever.  
I think that's a very good idea.    Peace,    Debby