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<DIV style="FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: "><FONT style="COLOR: #000000"
size=4>enjoy
this folks</FONT></DIV>
<DIV style="FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: "><FONT size=4>I got a kick out of
it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV style="FONT-FAMILY: ; COLOR: "><FONT style="size: 4">Lovve and
blessings. .
.</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV><B>The 12 Days of Christmas Don't Cost That Much</B><BR><BR>Laughing
Stalk
syndicate<BR>Copyright 2017<BR><BR>It's the middle of November, which means
everyone is talking about Christmas. It's mostly people whining about how
everyone else is already talking about Christmas, but with good reason. As
soon
as it hit 9:00 on Halloween night, the Christmas marketing season
began.<BR><BR>It's also when the PNC Financial Service Group trots out their
annual Christmas Price Index, as they have for the last 33 years. This is
the
report where they calculate the cost to buy everything from "The 12 Days of
Christmas," or as I call it, "99 Bottles of Eggnog on the Wall."<BR><BR>In
2017,
PNC says it will cost $34,558.65 to buy everything in the song. That's a .6
percent over last year because of a spike in gold and pear tree
costs.<BR><BR>I
think the index is overinflated because as one of the largest banks in the
country, PNC doesn't understand true entrepreneurship. I've worked in small
businesses for 22 of the last 24 years, including nearly nine years as a
small
business owner, and I can tell you that I can get this all done for a whole
lot
less than $34,559. Less than $10,000, in fact.<BR><BR>Let's break it
down.<BR><BR>PNC says partridges cost $20, turtle doves are $375, and French
hens are $181.50.<BR><BR>Seriously, $375 for two turtle doves? That's almost
$190 per bird. I had to look up what a turtle dove is, and while they're
only
found in Europe, they're nothing special. Besides, no one knows what a
turtle
dove actually looks like, so capture some regular morning doves for free and
paint little green shells on their backs.<BR><BR>I'm also not paying $180
for
French hens. You can get five female French Marans chickens for $7.75 apiece
off
CackleHatchery.com. That's $38.75, and I still have two hens left over to
lay
French Easter eggs next year.<BR><BR>On the other hand, I can get 60 Chukar
partridges for $2.85 apiece. I don't actually need 60 Chukar partridges, so
I'd
be willing to buy one for $20 just so I don't have to deal with the other
59.
Plus I can get a pear tree sapling for $23 from Lowe's, instead of the $200
PNC
is spending.<BR><BR>It turns out calling birds are actually canaries,
checking
in at $599.96. I found red canaries for $150 apiece on Craigslist, and
thought
this one was legit. Then I checked BirdsNow.com and found I can get canaries
for
40 bucks a pop from José in New Jersey.<BR><BR>PNC paid $825 for five gold
rings, or $165 apiece, which is fair. I don't want to spend all of December
cruising the pawn shops, and those "scrap gold" places seem a little shady.
We'll stick with their price.<BR><BR>Six geese a-laying are priced at $360,
which is a bit high. I can get six female geese for $40 apiece from
CackleHatchery.com, which is a 33 percent discount.<BR><BR>And I nearly
choked
on my figgy pudding when I saw seven swans a-swimming go for $13,125. That's
$1,875 per swan!<BR><BR>Mallard Lane Farms sells a pair of mute swans for
$1250,
or $625 less than PNC's fancy-pants swans. Plus they had a $5 coupon if I
"liked" them on Facebook.<BR><BR>But I can get a pair of mute swans on
BirdsNow.com for $800. And there's a guy in Tennessee selling a single swan
for
$650. That's $3,050 for seven swans and I just saved 10 grand.<BR><BR>PNC is
only willing to pay the federal minimum wage for eight maids a-milking, but
since it's Christmas, I'm going to up their pay to $12.50 an hour, or $100.
God
bless us, everyone!<BR><BR>Compared to the swans, PNC also blew the budget
with
the human talent. They're paying a total of $19000. That's $7,550 for nine
ladies dancing, $5,618 for 10 lords a leaping, $2,708 for 11 pipers piping,
and
12 drummers at $2,934.<BR><BR>That works out to $13,000 for the dancers.
Unless
we're throwing our Christmas budget at these dancers in $1 and $5 bills,
there's
no way we're spending $13,000 on a bunch of dancers.<BR><BR>My friend,
Brianna,
works at Walt Disney World and she knows dozens of dancers. She says they're
usually paid $13 an hour, plus benefits. We'll pay a gig rate of $50 per
person,
and give them two trips through the craft table. That's $950 for all the
dancers, a savings of roughly $12,000.<BR><BR>PNC is paying $5,642 for
music,
pipers and drummers. However, the Orlando Firefighters have a pipe and drum
band
that we could probably get for $3,000. It won't matter how it sounds,
because
we're all going to be drunk on eggnog anyway.<BR><BR>If we total up my plan,
we
clock in at $8,359 for a savings of $26,200.<BR><BR>And that, friends, is
how
you do an entrepreneur's Christmas. Everyone had a pleasant time, enjoyed a
good
meal, and watched some nice entertainment. And that's the real meaning of
Christmas.<BR><BR>That, and the 50 percent consulting fee PNC owes me for
the
money I just saved them.<BR></DIV></DIV></DIV>
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Posted by: Erik Deckers <erik.deckers@gmail.com>
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</FONT></FONT></DIV></DIV>Smiling,<BR>Janie Degenshein<BR>Happiness isn't
having
what you want, but wanting what you already have!<BR>Facilitator of ECHO
(Eyes
Closed Hearts Open)<BR>state affiliate board member<BR>President of the
senior
division of the National Federation of the Blind of New Jersey<BR>President
of
the Technology division of the National federation of the Blind of New
Jersey<BR>NFBNJ Newsline
co-ordinator<BR>jdegen16@comcast.net<BR></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial'; COLOR: #000000">Keep
Smiling,<BR>Janie Degenshein<BR>Happiness isn't having what you want, but
wanting what you already have!<BR>Facilitator of ECHO (Eyes Closed Hearts
Open)<BR>state affiliate board member<BR>President of the senior division of
the
National Federation of the Blind of New Jersey<BR>President of the
Technology
division of the National federation of the Blind of New Jersey<BR>NFBNJ
Newsline
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