[Oabs] What should we do next?
Deborah Kendrick
dkkendrick at earthlink.net
Mon Oct 13 03:44:56 UTC 2014
Kaiti and all,
I am so relieved to see this thoughtful response to Elif's honest and
somewhat painful message.
Elif, it must have been very difficult for you to write as you did, and I
totally appreciate and respect the effort.
As the person who invited you to that 2012 convention and urged you to
attend the students' group, I realize now that I should also have alerted
someone in the group to your presence.
As Kaiti indicated, however,
the group was very much in transition that year. This past year is the most
stable it has been in a long, long time, and so it is a perfect time for
newcomers to get involved.
Kaiti and all board members, I would like to make a suggestion.
We have two scholarship winners this year who are newcomers. Elif is one of
them. Jonathan Thomas is the other.
I would like to ask our president and vice president to take on the task of
mentoring these two amazing people.
Kaiti, if you could contact Elif sseparately, and Aleeha, if you could
contact Jonathan separately, and just talk through what goes on throughout
convention, I think that would be so helpful -- and beneficial to everyone
in the long run.
Maybe one phone conversation before convention which includes a set time to
meet up one on one -- either to grab something to eat or drink when you
arive or even just to sit together at the board meeting or convention
session. Nothing to add to your schedule, but rather, simply adding this
new person into your circle.
Yes, I'm possibly putting you both on the spot by addressing this publicly,
but I'm doing so because I have tremendous faith in both of you -- and all
of our officers -- to be confident, example-setting leaders, and I know you
want to welcome such bright new talent into the division.
Let me know what you think.
Deborah
-----Original Message-----
From: Oabs [mailto:oabs-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Kaiti Shelton via
Oabs
Sent: Sunday, October 12, 2014 11:29 PM
To: Elif Emir; Ohio Association of Blind Students list
Subject: Re: [Oabs] What should we do next?
Hi all,
>From what I've gathered from the two responses that were given, it sounds
like there is just a general lack of communication going on, and some
assumptions that were made. I am not trying to offend anyone, but I do need
to get to the bottom of the organizational problems we're having, so I would
appreciate if dialogue would continue. I'll address specific concerns so
that by talking through these issues, we might get to the bottom of this.
Elif, it seems like some questions just weren't asked, which could have made
everyone's experience including your's a little easier.
2012 was the first time I had gone to an NFB convention too, and I think it
was at least the first time in a long time that Emily and Lillie had gone in
a while if they had even gone before. I was totally new to the Federation;
aside from the Pennington sisters who I've grown up with because we live so
close, and Barbara pierce who I sort of knew because she did my scholarship
interview, I didn't know anyone. I met Aleeha and Amber just the day before
the seminar, because we were sharing a hotel room. That weekend, Aleeha and
Amber also met Emily and Lillie for the first time. We were actually all
pretty new to the convention experience, and were not as familiar with each
other as I think you thought. We had no idea you were confused, or felt out
of place because nothing was said to us. I'm sure that Aleeha, who was
really the only steady member of OABS prior to the seminar and president at
the time, would have facilitated more group interaction had she known what
was going on. Communication is so important; especially since most of us do
not have the sight to identify when someone's face looks unhappy, or if
someone is sitting quietly apart from the group and doesn't know how best to
join in, we're not going to know that there is a problem unless something is
said to us. I think I can speak for the board at large, including those who
were present that day, when I say that anyone would be happy to answer
questions or help with anything they can do to make OABS better for
individual members. All we need is to know what the issue is. I hope that
you do come to the student seminar this year, and that you give OABS another
shot with an open mind. It's true that by now all of us with the exception
of any new members who might come will be familiar with each other, but
that's because we've worked together for the past two years. None of us are
the type of person who wouldn't be outgoing or inviting to new members, or
to old ones who came back, but we just need some verbal communication so
that we know where you stand, what you'd like to talk about, how you feel on
certain topics, what you do understand and what we could try to explain
better, etc; and that goes for all members---not just you because you've got
the added piece of being new to English. Plus, although I am not bilingual,
I would imagine that that would be a great way to practice second language
skills.
I think this is a reminder for all of us to speak up when we see that
something is bothering us, or if we have ideas for how OABS can be better.
I know that both Aleeha and I as presidents have striven to be open and
welcoming to questions, comments, and concerns, and have made ourselves
available in several ways (phone calls and texts, email, and I believe both
of us have said Skype is an option at the very least). Both of us have
tried to be extremely inclusive and available to explain things that weren't
easily understood. Some of the seminars that were presented at membership
calls had new information for me to wrap my head around as well, because the
point of OABS is to be a learning resource and a way to find out new
information for everyone. That's why it has been frustrating at times,
because although both of us have said multiple times throughout our
presidencies that we're here to talk to members, to handle concerns that
arise, etc, we mostly get silence until major problems come out of nowhere.
Amber, my understanding of your situation has not changed since we
last spoke on the topic. I know you are not involved with OABS for personal
reasons; however, I want to clear something up in response to your post,
directed at the membership at large rather than at you or any specific
individual. Any of us could detail our our daily or weekly schedule. As I
said, we're all busy students, and there are times when all of us, including
myself, feel like we're running around like chickens with their heads cut
off even when we're prepared. I won't go into much detail about my own
schedule, but I will say that it's a treat on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I
get to sleep till 8:00, and there are days when I run from place to place
for upwards of 8 hours, and I grab a sandwich or something quick to eat on
the way from point A to point B for my lunch. I'm sure that Aleeha and
Emily especially, since they're living the college life right along with me,
have done this too. Again, I'm not calling you specifically out for your
schedule, but what I'm saying to everyone is that we all said we wanted to
be apart of OABS, that we all want it to succeed, and that we feel that the
organization has purpose. Any organization is like a team; and teams rely
on all members to grow better, stronger, faster, etc.
I've mentioned teamwork to the list before, and I can assure you all that
even if you find participating on a consistent basis difficult, or can't
take on a large scale task right now, the board would still be happy to work
with you. E.G, a lot of what needs to be done for both the fundraising and
membership committee's projects is phone call work. It takes a very short
amount of time to put a call in to an agency and ask if they can help us
produce bookmarks, or to find out who our brochure should be sent to for
further circulation. It also doesn't take much time to shoot either Aleeha
or Emily an email/text with the results of the phone call, and then the task
is done. It comes back to communication, and jiust letting someone know
you're willing to do something but can't do a huge project.
I hope no one took anything I've written as offensive. I think that this
emailing process has helped me to see what the problems are, and I actually
feel better about them now that I think I know what's going on. The
question now is, how can we fix this? What can the board do to be even more
receptive than we already are? how can we be more accessible in terms of
doling out smaller and larger projects? How can those, who may not be
necessarily available to call in to monthly committee meetings remain
involved? In reference to the last question I do think some of that
responsibility falls to the individual with the conflict to check in with
the chair to see what they can do to help, but what can the chairs do to be
helpful in this regard? Any suggestions are appreciated.
On 10/11/14, Elif Emir via Oabs <oabs at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi all,
> Kaiti, I understand your frustration. Yu are completely right.
> Everyone is busy with something, but this is not the case. Yes, it's
> true, I'm very busy too. I'm a grad student and I'm in internship. My
> actual reason is much more complicated. First of all I don't feel
> myself belong to this group mainly because of my first encounter with
> the group at the state convention in 2012. Most of you know each other
> for a long time. When I come to student division meeting I strongly
> felt this. I neither from Ohio nor USA. I speak a different language
> and I have a very different background. No one was rood to me, but no
> one showed any sincere interest as well. I was new in the states both
> as a person and as a student. I needed help to adjust myself, but I
> couldn't ask you. Even though there is a big age gap between me and
> most of the chapter members, I feel significantly more belong to
> Cincinnati chapter.
> Second reason is not being familiar with NFB. Maybe most of you are
> involved in NFB for several years, but I'm new. Most of the time I
> don't understand what you are doing or what kind of help do you need.
> My language skills are also not making it easier.
> I'm pretty dedicated for fighting rights; however, you and me have
> different priorities. States doesn't provide me anything, even a
> single mobility training for my campus. I've just learnt learning
> allies last month and bookshare in last six months. Naturally, I don't
> understand what you are talking about sometimes.
> I'm pretty aware that no one is responsible from my adjustment
> process. I frankly shared how I feel.
> Hopefully I'll be in convention this year again. I hope we can have a
> better communication.
> Thanks
>
>
> 2014-10-11 16:23 GMT-04:00, Amber H via Oabs <oabs at nfbnet.org>:
>> Good afternoon Kaiti,
>> Just a few short lines from me because I do believe that the division
>> deserves some explanation, at least so far as I am personally able to
>> give.
>>
>> Essentially, I care very much for this division and want to see it
>> grow, but right now am struggling to keep my own head above water in
>> my household. I have, since the beginning of the summer, taken a
>> full-time job and begun training my own guide dog from scratch.
>> (Read as, when I'm not at work, I'm still at work! 25 pounds of pure
>> energy does not want to lay quietly while I sit through phone
>> meetings!)
>>
>> My days off are only Fridays and Sundays, which allow for laundry,
>> church, and maybe? If I'm lucky, dinner with my husband twice a week!
>>
>> While that might sound like an exaggeration to you, what I mean is,
>> my schedule is 1:30 PM to 10:00 PM at night. And I only get a 30
>> minute lunch break.
>>
>> So while I would love to be more involved, the fact of the matter is
>> that I just do not have enough hours in my day. I wake up with my
>> husband in the mornings to get him ready for work, get some housework
>> done, maybe have lunch with a friend, and it's time for me to go to
>> work. I start around 7 in the morning and don't finish usually until
>> after 10 at night.
>>
>> It's not a matter of not caring; for me at least, it's a matter of
>> literally, not having time for all that needs to be done for my own
>> family, much less adding to my schedule with meetings and so on for
>> others.
>>
>> This may come across as selfish, but if you think about it a moment,
>> you will see that I am actually trying to do the division a favor by
>> not commiting to give time that I do not have to give, or offering to
>> donate time and resources to make calls or become involved with
>> aspects of building the division that I just do not have time to
>> offer.
>>
>> If I am going to do something badly, I'd rather not try to do it at
>> all. I feel, and believe that you do to, that offering to carry some
>> weight in a project means that you will actually carry that weight;
>> not phone at the last moment to say, sorry, time got away from me,
>> and I really haven't done my part.
>>
>> This does not mean I will never want to be involved with the division
>> again or that the division is at the bottom of my list. Only that
>> right now, there are way to many things in my life demanding my time
>> and attention for me to offer any more of my time and attention to
>> any other projects.
>>
>> I want to see the division succeed, and I believe that it can. I
>> just am not in a position at this particular time, to become heavily
>> involved in any of the projects being put forward.
>>
>> I hope this helps answer your questions, at least about me, and maybe
>> gives you some insight into why some others might be silent at times,
>> to.
>>
>> Best,
>>
>> Amber M
>>
>> On 10/11/14, Kaiti Shelton via Oabs <oabs at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> Hi, OABSters,
>>>
>>> Over the past few weeks, especially since August right before school
>>> picked back up for most of us, I've seen something that is troubling
>>> to me. Attendance at regular calls has slipped, and we're back to
>>> having the same 3 or 4 members doing the majority of helping out
>>> when things need to get done. Before I continue, I am not pointing
>>> fingers at individuals, this is just what I see.
>>>
>>> The membership committee has been in dire straights, and both Aleeha
>>> and I have sent out several emails asking for additional help with
>>> this. We can beg and plead all we want, but it takes individual
>>> effort to call in to the conference lines. This is just as much
>>> ***your*** division as it is mine, and I don't want to see ground
>>> lost when we've just gotten our heads above water.
>>>
>>> Another problem is that the same people seem to be stepping up to
>>> help when something needs to be figured out. Earlier this week I
>>> asked to have two volunteers help me in testing the conference line
>>> which Ryan so graciously checked for us, so we could make sure all
>>> parts of the line were functioning properly at once. Aleeha replied
>>> and said she could help over the list for all to see. I then
>>> replied to her over the list, and said that her willingness to help
>>> was appreciated and other interested volunteers should contact me AS
>>> Soon As Possible. At 5:30, hearing nothing more, I decided to call
>>> the test off since no one else responded. Aleeha and I both had
>>> dinner plans, so we agreed it would be easier on both of us since,
>>> as far as we knew, no one else was willing to help. Emily did email
>>> saying she could help about 25 minutes later, but she is one of the
>>> other people who consistently steps up to help. It shouldn't always
>>> be the job of specific people to do tasks that are essential to
>>> keeping the division running. I wish that someone had not waited to
>>> see if someone else who usually helps out would do it, and would
>>> have just replied either to Aleeha's email or to my response as a
>>> willing volunteer. IN this case, it would have taken 2 to 3 minutes of
time for all involved.
>>>
>>> I know we're all busy students. I know that at least Emily and I
>>> are taking at least 18 credits of courses; some of us are involved
>>> in other groups that meet weekly on our campuses, and some are exec
>>> board members for those organizations; some of us do other things
>>> outside of school with church, or are preparing for major tests or
>>> professional internships in our not-so-distant futures. But, the
>>> reality is that we're all doing some combination of these things,
>>> and if we're all in OABS than the organization deserves to see fair
>>> levels of commitment from everyone.
>>>
>>> So, I'm interested in hearing suggestions. What is so daunting
>>> about membership committee meetings that no one shows up? What have
>>> we not done that anyone thinks we should be doing? I have stated on
>>> multiple occasions that my inbox is always open for discussion of
>>> ideas or suggestions for the division, but hearing none and since
>>> the leadership needs to know what's going on behind the scenes,
>>> please take a few short minutes of your time to tell me what you
>>> think. You can email on-list if you'd like to generate discussion
>>> with everyone, or if you'd like to email me privately that is perfectly
fine too.
>>>
>>> I hope everyone is having a great weekend and is starting to get
>>> excited for convention. I know I am, but we need to pull together
>>> to make this year great.
>>> --
>>> Kaiti Shelton
>>> University of Dayton 2016.
>>> Music Therapy, Psychology, Philosophy President, Ohio Association of
>>> Blind Students Sigma Alpha Iota-Delta Sigma
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Have a blessed day,
>>
>> Amber H
>>
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--
Kaiti Shelton
University of Dayton 2016.
Music Therapy, Psychology, Philosophy
President, Ohio Association of Blind Students Sigma Alpha Iota-Delta Sigma
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