[rehab] FW: Was he hard at work...or hardly working???

[Dick Davis]

A little humor to hopefully make your job search, or those of your
customers, more fun.

Dick Davis



In honor of Labor Day, here's a first person report of someone who was not
quite as successful as he had hoped to be in the job market:

*As a young man:*

· My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate
on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

· Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it,
so they gave me the axe.

· After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the
hole business.

· I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.

· I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because
it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.

· I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.



*In my prime:*

· Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

· I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

· Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn't have the right
altitude.

· I studied to become a doctor, but I didn't have enough patients for the
job.

· I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it.

· I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn't my
racket. I was too high strung.

· I became a baker, but it wasn't a cakewalk, and I couldn't make enough
dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.

· I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.

· I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but
the work was just too draining.



*Later in life:*

· Then I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for
the job.

· I thought about being a historian, but I couldn't see a future in it.

· Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting,
so they discharged me.

· I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and
my class.

· I turned to farming, but I wasn't outstanding in my field.

· I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and
I got the shaft.

· I sold origami, but the business folded.



*Finally*:

· I took a job at UPS, but I couldn't express myself.

· I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

· I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally
withdrew from the job.

· I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn't live on my net income.

· I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn't fit in. They thought I
was a loafer, and I got the boot.

· I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same
old grind.

· So I've retired, and I find I'm a perfect fit for this job!  J