[rehab] Heartbraking story

[Angel]

This person has been feeling sorry for himself for as long as he has been 
alive, it seems to me.  I am writing  this from the perspective  of a 
congenitally totally blind mother and grandmother.  It sounds like something 
my sighted son would have said when he was about 14 years old.  It is sad 
some people never grow out of such feelings.  Anyone can take a circumstance 
such as blindness and turn it in to the worst tragedy, and use it as a 
reason for making excuses .  Perhaps this is why this person can't develop 
relationships between him and the opposing sex.  No one likes a whiner. 
Firstly, we hear all the time about "dysfunctional families.  I ask you to 
show me a "functional family.  Regardless a Childs circumstances, his 
parents might not get along.  Being both a parent and grandparent, I can say 
most parents do the best they can do to bring up their children well. 
Unless, they are totally warped.  This reminds me something my sighted 
daughter said to me when she was about 10 years old.  I punished her for 
something I thought she had done.  When I later discovered she hadn't done 
the thing for which she had been punished, I apologized for the punishment. 
She replied. "That's all right mother.  You were just doing your job." 
Which was quite profound for the sighted child of a totally blind single 
parent to say.  I mention this because my children could well have 
criticized me for things as not being able to drive, and not having as much 
money as they felt I should have to purchase for them what it was they felt 
they should have.  I said that to say this.  Which parent whether he be 
blind or sighted, can't look back at his grown children and say he might 
have done things more perfectly, and which child can look back, and say he 
couldn't have been a better child to his parents.  So it makes no sense to 
cast blame on parents for what a person makes of his life after he is grown. 
Which one of us can't find some fault with how we were brought up.  As no 
one is perfect.  These issues ought to be resolved with maturity.  Regarding 
a segregated education:  There are prose and cons to be said for both 
mainstreamed and segregated educations .  I, for example, use to beg my 
parents to send me to Perkins school.  Because I encountered a young woman 
with a far better academic education than had I.  I felt I wasn't given such 
at the school in which I was educated.  I asked my father why it was I was 
not sent to a segregated school.  He gave me a reason.  Which dissatisfied 
me at the time.  My parents died both before my 21st birthday.  I then 
understood the reasoning behind his choice.  As we grow and mature, it is up 
to us each to grow beyond whatever mistakes we feel were those of our 
parents when they brought us up.  For many, the experience with us is the 
first experience they ever had dealing with blindness.  Yet an adult blind 
person still expects them to have dealt with him, as if they were 
professionals experienced in all ways with people with blindness.   and make 
for ourselves lives of which we and our children can be proud.  We blind 
people have different experiences than do sighted people around us.  Most 
are more difficult than are theirs.  But there have been always those of us 
who have turned our circumstances in to advantages.  I see it all the time 
on blindness buy sell and trade lists.  I make a point of purchasing as much 
product as I can from blind vendors.  To assist them to make livings for 
themselves.  There are those of us who are employed in all walks of life. 
We run homes, and have children and grandchildren.  If we had felt sorry for 
ourselves, and used our bringing up and our blindness as a reason why such 
things might not be possible for us, we would never have done such things. 
Another true example I will tell you of now.  I went to school with a blind 
young man.  Who, now, isn't so young, (smile) who was the youngestof 15 
children.  He was totally blind and black.  He was neglected, and as far as 
I was aware starved.  Because his family was so large.  Rather than sitting 
around feeling sorry for himself, he became one of the finest blind 
travelers I knew of then.  In those days, over 40 years ago now, black 
children, regardless how bright they were weren't sent to college by white 
vocational rehabilitation councilors.  In those days, in my city, all 
rehabilitation councilors were white.  This totally blind youth was 
extremely bright, and was determined to go to college.  He knew the bureau 
of services for the blind wouldn't pay for his education.  So he managed to 
fall into an open man hole, and, as my late husband use to say:  "He got out 
of that man hole, and said:  "I'm going to college".  He sued the city for 
enough money to pay for his college education himself.  He became a well 
respected attorney in my city.  Who was well loved and was respected by all 
who knew him.  He made both sighted and blind friends.  Now, he could well 
have cried on lists about what we all knew of his poverty stricken childhood 
circumstances.  But, he took what it was he had inside himself, and made a 
success of his life.  He is now a grandfather, and is a role model for all 
who know him.  He is not alone.  There are many others about whom I could 
write.  If I knew their circumstances.  My advice to this young man is: 
Stop regarding blindness as a "handicap" and start using the talents and 
gifts God gave to you.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "adrijana prokopenko via rehab" <rehab at nfbnet.org>
To: "rehab" <rehab at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "adrijana prokopenko" <adrijana.prokopenko at gmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, February 13, 2016 1:31 PM
Subject: [rehab] Heartbraking story


> Hi all,
>
> Just got this heartbraking story by email. This person allowed me to
> copy it and send it to this list, so hopefully someone can find out
> what lies behind all this, seems like this person has it way too hard
> for some reason and he lives in the US. Feel free to read through,
> email him and send this message to others if you think they can
> somehow be of help.
>
> Falling threw the Cracks Please make a difference By Joseph Machise.
> I am writing out of mixed emotions from a handicapped person's world. This
> is
> my story. My name is Joseph Machise and I am blind. I was born to Joseph 
> and
> Alice Machise on March 2, 1947. From the beginning it was difficult for my
> parents to accept my blindness. After I was born, things between my 
> parents
> became physically abusive. My mother tried to leave my father, but she was
> convinced by family members to stay. My fate was sealed. Apparently they
> blamed each other for my blindness.
> I lived in constant terror of my parents. This had caused me severe
> psychological
> problems that persist to this day. I was kept isolated and forced to 
> study.
> I was punished for the smallest infractions. They would say "We love
> you, and that
> is why
> we punished you. I longed for a normal life with loving parents, but it 
> was not
> to be. Neighbors and other family
> members refused to intervene, so I just had to take it.
> Life for me was largely without meaning. I had trouble even getting 
> around.
> I became frustrated at "things" because they were always in my way and
> causing trouble. When I showed my anger, my parents belittled and
> abused me verbally, as well as physically, causing me to rebel. As I 
> became
> older, I developed problems in
> school. Eventually, I was sent to Perkins School for the Blind. This was
> before "mainstreaming" and we were
> kept separated from the rest of the world. I was unable to enjoy
> relationships with the opposite sex. For a time,
> I was locked up in a mental institution for defending myself against my
> mother's attacks.
> Today, my family has little contact with me. We haven't been able to
> reconcile our differences, although I
> have tried. For the most part, they have abandoned me. I presently live in 
> a
> one-room apartment, alone. I enjoy listening to
> radio, classical music and short-wave. Electronics and Aviation also hold 
> a
> fascination for me. I hope, one day, to have an electronic bill
> reader to make money identification easier. I frequently eat at the public
> soup kitchen to stretch the meager
> government allowance that I depend on. Agencies for the blind have done
> nothing but put me on endless
> waiting lists. Improving my living conditions just does not happen. 
> Appeals
> to radio talk shows have failed.
> Thank you for reading and hearing my situation in life. If you can help in
> any way, financially or otherwise,
> please feel free to call or contact me at the number and address listed
> below. You are also welcome to e-mail
> me. My e-mail
> is
> josephmachise at comcast.net.
>
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