[rehab] Heartbreaking story

[Andrews, David B (DEED)]

This message and the one that proceeded it are not appropriate for this list.  The original message may be spam -- how does one know.  And the second message, while possibly true, gets a lot more personal in its speculation than a message on a publicly archived list should!

David Andrews, List Owner



David Andrews | Chief Technology Officer
Department of Employment and Economic Development 
State Services for the Blind, 2200 University Ave. W., Suite 240, St. Paul MN 55114
Direct: 651-539-2294 | Mobile: 612-730-7931
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-----Original Message-----
From: rehab [mailto:rehab-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Angel via rehab
Sent: Saturday, February 13, 2016 2:25 PM
To: Rehabilitation Counselor Mailing List <rehab at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Angel <angel238 at sbcglobal.net>
Subject: Re: [rehab] Heartbraking story

This person has been feeling sorry for himself for as long as he has been alive, it seems to me.  I am writing  this from the perspective  of a congenitally totally blind mother and grandmother.  It sounds like something my sighted son would have said when he was about 14 years old.  It is sad some people never grow out of such feelings.  Anyone can take a circumstance such as blindness and turn it in to the worst tragedy, and use it as a reason for making excuses .  Perhaps this is why this person can't develop relationships between him and the opposing sex.  No one likes a whiner. 
Firstly, we hear all the time about "dysfunctional families.  I ask you to show me a "functional family.  Regardless a Childs circumstances, his parents might not get along.  Being both a parent and grandparent, I can say most parents do the best they can do to bring up their children well. 
Unless, they are totally warped.  This reminds me something my sighted daughter said to me when she was about 10 years old.  I punished her for something I thought she had done.  When I later discovered she hadn't done the thing for which she had been punished, I apologized for the punishment. 
She replied. "That's all right mother.  You were just doing your job." 
Which was quite profound for the sighted child of a totally blind single parent to say.  I mention this because my children could well have criticized me for things as not being able to drive, and not having as much money as they felt I should have to purchase for them what it was they felt they should have.  I said that to say this.  Which parent whether he be blind or sighted, can't look back at his grown children and say he might have done things more perfectly, and which child can look back, and say he couldn't have been a better child to his parents.  So it makes no sense to cast blame on parents for what a person makes of his life after he is grown. 
Which one of us can't find some fault with how we were brought up.  As no one is perfect.  These issues ought to be resolved with maturity.  Regarding a segregated education:  There are prose and cons to be said for both mainstreamed and segregated educations .  I, for example, use to beg my parents to send me to Perkins school.  Because I encountered a young woman with a far better academic education than had I.  I felt I wasn't given such at the school in which I was educated.  I asked my father why it was I was not sent to a segregated school.  He gave me a reason.  Which dissatisfied me at the time.  My parents died both before my 21st birthday.  I then understood the reasoning behind his choice.  As we grow and mature, it is up to us each to grow beyond whatever mistakes we feel were those of our parents when they brought us up.  For many, the experience with us is the first experience they ever had dealing with blindness.  Yet an adult blind person still expects them to have dealt with him, as if they were 
professionals experienced in all ways with people with blindness.   and make 
for ourselves lives of which we and our children can be proud.  We blind people have different experiences than do sighted people around us.  Most are more difficult than are theirs.  But there have been always those of us who have turned our circumstances in to advantages.  I see it all the time on blindness buy sell and trade lists.  I make a point of purchasing as much product as I can from blind vendors.  To assist them to make livings for themselves.  There are those of us who are employed in all walks of life. 
We run homes, and have children and grandchildren.  If we had felt sorry for ourselves, and used our bringing up and our blindness as a reason why such things might not be possible for us, we would never have done such things. 
Another true example I will tell you of now.  I went to school with a blind young man.  Who, now, isn't so young, (smile) who was the youngestof 15 children.  He was totally blind and black.  He was neglected, and as far as I was aware starved.  Because his family was so large.  Rather than sitting around feeling sorry for himself, he became one of the finest blind travelers I knew of then.  In those days, over 40 years ago now, black children, regardless how bright they were weren't sent to college by white vocational rehabilitation councilors.  In those days, in my city, all rehabilitation councilors were white.  This totally blind youth was extremely bright, and was determined to go to college.  He knew the bureau of services for the blind wouldn't pay for his education.  So he managed to fall into an open man hole, and, as my late husband use to say:  "He got out of that man hole, and said:  "I'm going to college".  He sued the city for enough money to pay for his college education himself.  He became a well respected attorney in my city.  Who was well loved and was respected by all who knew him.  He made both sighted and blind friends.  Now, he could well have cried on lists about what we all knew of his poverty stricken childhood circumstances.  But, he took what it was he had inside himself, and made a success of his life.  He is now a grandfather, and is a role model for all who know him.  He is not alone.  There are many others about whom I could write.  If I knew their circumstances.  My advice to this young man is: 
Stop regarding blindness as a "handicap" and start using the talents and gifts God gave to you.
----- Original Message -----
From: "adrijana prokopenko via rehab" <rehab at nfbnet.org>
To: "rehab" <rehab at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "adrijana prokopenko" <adrijana.prokopenko at gmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, February 13, 2016 1:31 PM
Subject: [rehab] Heartbraking story


> Hi all,
>
> Just got this heartbraking story by email. This person allowed me to 
> copy it and send it to this list, so hopefully someone can find out 
> what lies behind all this, seems like this person has it way too hard 
> for some reason and he lives in the US. Feel free to read through, 
> email him and send this message to others if you think they can 
> somehow be of help.
>
> Falling threw the Cracks Please make a difference By Joseph Machise.
> I am writing out of mixed emotions from a handicapped person's world. 
> This is my story. My name is Joseph Machise and I am blind. I was born 
> to Joseph and Alice Machise on March 2, 1947. From the beginning it 
> was difficult for my parents to accept my blindness. After I was born, 
> things between my parents became physically abusive. My mother tried 
> to leave my father, but she was convinced by family members to stay. 
> My fate was sealed. Apparently they blamed each other for my 
> blindness.
> I lived in constant terror of my parents. This had caused me severe 
> psychological problems that persist to this day. I was kept isolated 
> and forced to study.
> I was punished for the smallest infractions. They would say "We love 
> you, and that is why we punished you. I longed for a normal life with 
> loving parents, but it was not to be. Neighbors and other family 
> members refused to intervene, so I just had to take it.
> Life for me was largely without meaning. I had trouble even getting 
> around.
> I became frustrated at "things" because they were always in my way and 
> causing trouble. When I showed my anger, my parents belittled and 
> abused me verbally, as well as physically, causing me to rebel. As I 
> became older, I developed problems in school. Eventually, I was sent 
> to Perkins School for the Blind. This was before "mainstreaming" and 
> we were kept separated from the rest of the world. I was unable to 
> enjoy relationships with the opposite sex. For a time, I was locked up 
> in a mental institution for defending myself against my mother's 
> attacks.
> Today, my family has little contact with me. We haven't been able to 
> reconcile our differences, although I have tried. For the most part, 
> they have abandoned me. I presently live in a one-room apartment, 
> alone. I enjoy listening to radio, classical music and short-wave. 
> Electronics and Aviation also hold a fascination for me. I hope, one 
> day, to have an electronic bill reader to make money identification 
> easier. I frequently eat at the public soup kitchen to stretch the 
> meager government allowance that I depend on. Agencies for the blind 
> have done nothing but put me on endless waiting lists. Improving my 
> living conditions just does not happen.
> Appeals
> to radio talk shows have failed.
> Thank you for reading and hearing my situation in life. If you can 
> help in any way, financially or otherwise, please feel free to call or 
> contact me at the number and address listed below. You are also 
> welcome to e-mail me. My e-mail is josephmachise at comcast.net.
>
> _____________