[Sportsandrec] Cane Placement

Fri Dec 26 23:43:27 UTC 2008

You don't go to clubs (razz)
As for blind people being non-inclusive, I think sometimes you have to make 
the first move. In my groups, I am quick to invite and involve the "new guy" 
as I know of your ilk who is soo scared to talk to people and are afraid you 
will look funny or say the wrong thing. To that I say being the funny guy or 
the guy who does something stupid is often embraced by groups as it helps 
them feel better about doing something out of their comfort zone. The 
comfort zone and the combat zone are neighbors Ashley, the combat zone is 
much more fun.  I worry for you about the mind-set of this entire post I am 
replying to and think discussions like these are what the Federation is all 
about and are things that actually change what it means to be blind. You say 
blindness is a barrier to meeting new people and I am here to tell you that 
self-confidence, independence, self-esteem, and accomplishment are the 
battering ram to that barrier. These tools cannot be culled without trial, 
success, and yes failure. When you have gathered and honed who you are 
socially, it is like shampoo wash, rinse, and repeat. I learn to be more 
comfortable being me daily, join me.
As for being considerate to sighted people, I guess. I am the only blind 
person in my house and noone puts anything away. I stumble over stuff 
constantly. That is okay. When at a club or restaurant, there are almost 
always no chairs pushed in. People can see that they are there. That is 
okay. In many parking lots, many people park any old way they choose to get 
in and out of wherever it is. That is okay. All these examples are why I use 
the cane. No, I am not ultra worried if I leave my cane where someone might 
have to take a step to the right or to the left or step over it. Yes, I 
usually stash my cane out of everybody else's way so as not to offend or 
inconvenience anyone, but if I do, I don't stress over it much.
"Get up, Stand up!" "Stand up for your rights!" Stand Up For Your Rights Bob 
Marley
Yo Federation Brutha,
Joe Shaw
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List" 
<sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 3:36 PM
Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement


> Hi,
>
> Thanks for your all suggestions.  I've done what Kelly has done in the 
> past.  Just looking for ideas and seeing what others thought.  I, too, 
> have left my cane at the table in a club/food setting.  I'd leave it at 
> the corner of the room in a class.  I have done what Kelly did and some of 
> you said, I leave it somewhere and walk sighted guide to the dance floor 
> and back to my cane at the end.
>
> I am not shy but I am a little more reserved until you get to know me.  I 
> don't reveal a lot to those I don't know well.  I have not made many 
> friends though even though I tried to be out and about around campus.  I 
> just think there is this barrier; its difficult to go into a room and you 
> don't know who is there like at club events.  But that is a different 
> matter.  No shy and blind should not go together but sadly sometimes they 
> do.  I've seen shy people at nfb meetings and other places like at camps 
> for the blind.  They are overlooked because few can see them and blind 
> people tend to mingle with those they already know rather than a newcomer 
> in my experience.
>
> Anyway, I do care where I put the cane and what image I project.  I think
> saying who cares will turn people off.  We live with sighted people and 
> its important to be considerate.  It should not be in the way of other 
> people.  Yes its an independent life issue but we have to balance our 
> rights with the rights of others.
> If a cane is in the path at a restaurant someone else will care who is 
> trying to walk by.
>
> Ashley
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
>>From: Joe Shaw <jrs3147 at comcast.net>
>>Sent: Dec 26, 2008 1:23 AM
>>To: Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List 
>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>
>>Ashley,
>>I have found that shy and blind don't mix well with one another. Leave 
>>your
>>cane wherever you want, who cares. Slide it under your chair, put in the
>>corner behind the door at the restroom, give it to sighted friends to 
>>hold/
>>play with while you're dancin. I believe this is a Federation phylosiphy/
>>independent life issue. Who cares where you put your cane as long as it is
>>safe and you know where it is. I mean, this is not Plaxico looking for a
>>good spot to put his gun before it went off. If you are alone, I guess 
>>this
>>could be an issue though wouldn't you just leave it where you are sitting 
>>be
>>it the bar or a table while you dance? If with a group, surely someone in
>>the group would hold/ watch it while you are cutting your proverbial rug. 
>>In
>>my group of blind friends that I have had for a long time, there are 
>>usually
>>a couple types. There is the guy who is very shy because he is blind and
>>doesn't have a lot of friends but for those who he has been friends with 
>>for
>>many years and has trouble meeting new people. Then there is the guy who
>>doesn't care about his blindness, is outgoing, starts conversations, and 
>>has
>>many friends because he is never afraid to make the initial move. Always 
>>be
>>the ladder Ashley. The ladder is usually the NFB guy.
>>"Do a little dance" "Make a little love" "Get down tonight" Get Down 
>>Tonight
>>K.C. and the Sunshine Band
>>Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukkah/ hope everyone had a nice Wednesday and
>>Thursday lol.
>>JS
>>----- Original Message ----- 
>>From: "Carly Mihalakis" <carlymih at earthlink.net>
>>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 5:32 PM
>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>
>>
>>> Kelly,
>>>
>>>         You said it!
>>> If you're a single chick, or even a single guy dance class could be a
>>> great place to meet people, as well as enlighten others of blind 
>>> peoples'
>>> abilities.
>>> I realize it sounds scary, but remember how often the protocol in 
>>> certain
>>> situations calls for entirely swollowing your pride, not really being 
>>> too
>>> embarassed just to live your life on your terms?
>>> I have been to social salsa dancing, and when I come to a new partner I
>>> just say "I'm blind" and it never matters, for I can move. simply 
>>> leaving
>>> the cane at the corner of the dance room (in classes), at the table with
>>> other friends (out in clubs), or with the bar tender (there is an
>>> advantage of being considered a good tipper) works well. I have carried 
>>> my
>>> folding cane, but not often. Or, you can leave the cane in a trusted
>>> place, find the cutest, single, opposite gendered dance partner, and go
>>> sighted guide back to your cane. Hey, cheesy I know, but I've met a few
>>> repeat dance partners that way, and if you are going to go sighted guide
>>> anyway...It also gives a chance to enlighten another person about what 
>>> you
>>> can do as a blind person, when you might need a little assistance, and
>>> most importantly that you are approachable as a blind person.
>>>
>>>>As mentioned before, partner dancing is very accessible for everyone. 
>>>>One
>>>>advantage we have is that we pay more attention to how the moves "feel" 
>>>>as
>>>>opposed to how they "look," often considered to be a better
>>>>learning/practice method than pure visualization.
>>>>
>>>>So, jump in with both feet (put both feet in, put both feet out, put 
>>>>both
>>>>feet in and shake 'em all about...come on, we knew it was coming). Enjoy
>>>>it, and develop a new experience for yourself and those in the class who
>>>>may have never danced with such a good partner who just happens to be
>>>>blind.
>>>>_______________________________________________
>>>>Sportsandrec mailing list
>>>>Sportsandrec at nfbnet.org
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>>>
>>>
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>>
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>
> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
>
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