[stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.

Mon Oct 27 16:53:15 UTC 2008

Hello,

Well, if it is dialog and the speaker uses poor English, then it is fine.
If the writer is trying to use good English, then it is an error to use
redundant words.

To me, we, as writers, need to stand up for proper usage.  Language is
certainly a fluid thing.  However, if we are aspiring to be successful, we
ought to acknowledge the generally accepted rules.  We can break the rules
purposely to prove a point, but we need to do it consciously and in a
context.

I am not trying to be argumentative.  I simply want our group needs to
exhibit the most professional writing possible.  Please  don't take that as
meaning you or anyone is unprofessional, only trying to set the bar for all
of us, me included.

Warmest Regards,

Fred

Certainly, this post may sound -----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Angela fowler
Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 10:02 AM
To: 'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.

Good point, Judith.  

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Monday, October 27, 2008 5:28 AM
To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.

All of the things you are arguing about is called "The vernacular."  Want to
fight it?  Want to go back to English before any of the commonly used
phrases or words became popular?  Come on guys!  (I hope I'm not offending
women by using the word guys, it's just a colloquialism)  There's a lot in
the English language that could be called redundant, contradictory or words
whose spellings don't make sense.  But it's English!  The official language
of the US!  Don't like it?  I'd say move to England but their language is
even more messed up.  A diaper over there is a nappy, a flashlight is a
torch and the trunk of a car is a boot.  Now, will a  purist try to
straighten out this language?  Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Angela fowler" <fowlers at syix.com>
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2008 11:32 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.

> We use the phrase "the exact same thing" to emphasize the fact that 
> two things are no different from each other. If that's what you're 
> objecting too, Fred, how would you have us better phrase it? To say 
> "it's the exact thing" doesn't sound right, and to just say "That's 
> the same thing," lacks the authority of "the exact same thing."
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of James Canaday M.A. N6YR
> Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2008 8:10 PM
> To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.
>
> fred,
> please elaborate on your peeve, p e e v e, didn't quite understand 
> what you were referring to.  do you object to the use of the phrase 
> "exact same?"
> if
> so, it is certainly a common expression; perhaps the repetition is 
> used simply for emphasis in our language.
> jc
>
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
> At 07:22 PM 10/26/2008, you wrote:
>>Hi,
>>
>>I have a little pet peve.  It seems incorrect to "exact same" or 
>>relate similar phrases.  It is very common these days.  I recommend 
>>either exact or same but not both.  It seems redundant.  Others may 
>>disagree and I would welcome another view.
>>
>>Warm Writing Regards,
>>
>>Fred
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>On Behalf Of LoriStay at aol.com
>>Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2008 10:56 PM
>>To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>>Subject: Re: [stylist] sample of work rewritten. 3rd attempt.
>>
>>
>>In a message dated 10/25/08 9:37:24 PM, dreamavdb at googlemail.com writes:
>>
>>
>> >
>> >   "Paril? I've come to show you how to use a long cane." Hari 
>> > Murdag called as he stood listening in front of Paril's tent.  He 
>> > heard exactly the same snores that he had heard earlier on.  Their 
>> > was something unnatural  about the noise he was hearing.
>> >
>>
>>Their was... Nope.   Wrong "there."   check your spelling.
>>
>>Then their was a click
>>Same comment.   This should be spelled t h e r e
>>
>>  Then their(that is, t h e r e) was a click a whirring noise and the 
>>snores started up again.
>>Put a comma after click.   Or use the word "and"
>>
>>(A click and a whirring noise)
>>
>>
>>   How could he have been taken in so easily.
>>Need question mark here rather than a period.
>>
>>
>>  After all he'd once played the same trick himself.
>>comma after the word "all"
>>
>>
>>"Paril!" he called into the desert air around him.   Not really
>>expecting a response.
>>There's that sentence fragment again.   Try a comma after the word "him,"
>>and
>>make the second sentence into a dependent clause.
>>
>>Sometimes people dislike my editing their work without mentioning that 
>>I do
>>this all the time (for those who do ask for it).   Let me know your
>>thoughts.
>>Lori
>>
>>
>>**************
>>Play online games for FREE at Games.com! All of your favorites, no 
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>>r=
>>http://www.games.com?ncid=emlcntusgame00000001)
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