[stylist] New THOUGHT PROVOKER #144- Blindness With Other Conditions

[Pat Harmon]

"I am a juvenile diabetic."  Since childhood, I have attempted to keep it a 
secret.  Unlike vampires, I draw my blood.  Like vampires, I do not want to 
talk about diabetes at parties, dinners, celebrations and important events. 
Like vampires demand blood, I can require sugar.  Few understand.

Listen.  Everywhere you go, diabetes is on the menu.  At fine restaurants or 
diners, someone is discussing it.  The topic comes up, and I clam up.  I do 
not "care to share!"

Even strangers believe in their right to ask me how much I can see and what 
caused blindness.  If I do not respond, I am the rude one or the snob.  If I 
tell others, they love telling strangers.

Blindness secrets and personal privacy are difficult to maintain 
simultaneously.  I long to keep specific aspects of life a secret.  I 
require assistance with billpaying, grocery shopping, banking and 
correspondence.  As a divorced woman, I had to learn some skills again, 
following that period of dependence which occurs naturally in a partnership. 
Even with medicines, information comes in print.  Who should be permitted 
into my private life?  I am grateful to live alone, but struggles keep me 
developing new techniques.

Who should conduct interviews at rehabilitation centers, whether I am a 
diabetic or a vampire?  Who has the right to ask me about my family and 
their approach to my disease?  Shouldn't counselors be blind in order to 
have some connection to my experience?  Often, sighted men and women are 
directors, administrators, teachers and cooks.  Why are there only three NFB 
centers nationwide?  Why are blind teachers and counselors still so limited 
in numbers?  Why are doctors, nurses, receptionists and assistants so 
unprepared for blind patients and clients?  As more blindness occurs, are 
more jobs going to become available?  In this economy, that is highly 
unlikely.

When I first went to work as a teacher at a residential school for the 
blind, the board questioned my ability to be a reliable employee because of 
diabetes--not blindness.  I had earned the necessary credentials, but they 
questioned my health.  I was hired, but I regretted telling them about the 
disease.  The vampire probably regrets giving up that secret.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, April 05, 2009 10:03 AM
Subject: [stylist] New THOUGHT PROVOKER #144- Blindness With Other 
Conditions


> Fellow writers
> RE:  Blindness With Other conditions
>
> Here is my newest THOUGHT PROVOKER. To dramatize my point, I borrow from a
> contemporary genre. (As a VR counselor, I've not quite had this one happen
> to me --- yet.) If you have not read the PROVOKER, it follows.  Recall 
> that
> I collect responses and post them upon my web site for all the WWW to read
> and learn from and that URL is- Http://thoughtprovoker.info
> <http://thoughtprovoker.info/>   If you wish to receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS
> sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at-  newmanrl at cox.net
>
> THOUGHT PROVOKER 144
> Blindness With Other Conditions
>
>
> "No, nothing else," answered Bill in response to my question- "Do you have
> any other major physical or emotional or life style considerations that 
> you
> are concerned that your oncoming blindness will negatively impact or in
> reverse, will make your adjustment to blindness difficult?"
>
> I am a VR Counselor, this was my first visit with Bill. He is thirty,
> rapidly going blind due to RP and had just lost his job as a truck driver.
> My question reflected a major principle in achieving a successful outcome 
> in
> adjusting to any major loss- you have to deal with the whole person.
>
> The strain in Bill's voice, the rubbing of sweating hands on his thighs 
> told
> me my question had this guy reacting to something that he was unwilling to
> share. In my mind, I couldn't help but speculate, was he an alcoholic or 
> an
> AIDS victim, or.? And so to plant the seed, an opportunity for later, I
> said, "Okay. And as we get to know one another, if in the future after you
> get a sense of how the rehabilitation process works, please don't hesitate
> to bring up any thing you'd like to talk about."
>
> Bill didn't wait very long and said, "Like I was saying, I've learned over
> the years that for me to.ah, manage my life, I've had to become a control
> freak. And I'm afraid blindness will.make me lose control."
>
> Finished, I walked Bill out to the reception area, where luck was with me.
> Randy, my next appointment was early. "Bill, meet Randy. He also has a 
> form
> of RP, along with being deaf. And hey, he runs his own vending business."
>
> Out in the hallway walking to the elevator, I still felt good that Bill 
> had
> met Randy, a guy that had another obviously serious condition in life to
> contend with and was doing well. At the open elevator doors, I shook 
> Bill's
> hand. "I'll see you next week, at your place and we can talk more." And I
> would have said more, but we were interrupted.
>
> "Bill, let's go," interjected a male voice with very "no-nonsense" tone.
>
> "Richard!" I could tell Bill wasn't happy  with this intrusion. Then to 
> me,
> "This is my brother. Excuse me a moment." And taking Richard off to one
> side, they talked.
>
> Back at the elevator, Richard said, "I didn't want Bill to come to you. We
> take care of our own. I'll be."
>
> "Richard, stop!" Bill cut off his brother. "I'll meet you at the car." 
> Then
> to me, he said,  "Robert, I apologize for my brother. We are a very close
> and protective family. But ah, I don't mean to scare you, but if Richard
> comes to your office or wherever, don't ask him in. He'll settle down." 
> And
> with that he was gone.
>
> I did not see Bill again for two months. We had four rescheduled
> appointments, bill calling in the day of each to cancel. Initially I 
> thought
> denial was the major factor, but each successive call felt more like
> escalating stress and near panic. It is interesting to note, at some point
> in each conversation, he would refer to the "control" issue. Until,
> unexpectedly Bill showed up.
>
> "I was going to stay away. But I remember you said blindness can be 
> managed
> even if you have other ah, issues, that you can still control your life. 
> And
> I can't allow myself to lose control." A deep breath. "I want to explain. 
> My
> brother and I both have.ah, are." Another deep breath, then in a rush, 
> "I've
> not hurt anyone --- I've kept control --- fear I'm losing it --- I don't
> want to be like my brother."
>
> I had listened closely, was again puzzled, but excited to have Bill 
> opening
> up. I thought, "Great, now we can get at those other key issues and work
> with them along side his blindness. Now we can have the best chance to get
> his life in balance; help him to get that control back that he speaks of 
> as
> being so critical." In a sense holding my breath, I asked, "This is great,
> Bill. So help me to help you. Tell me what you are dealing with?"
>
> He said, "I am a vampire."
>
>
> Robert Leslie Newman
> Email- newmanrl at cox.net
> THOUGHT PROVOKER Website-
> Http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>
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