[stylist] question

[Barbara Hammel]

No. What you really have out there are parents who have no parameters for 
their children but they waste every teachable moment by ignoring the 
children because their own life is o so much more important.
Barbara

If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 1:53 PM
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question

> Judith:
>
> Unschooling doesn't result in kids growing up into adults who act like 
> they
> can get anything they want.  Life itself has very clear and fixed 
> parameters
> that my boys go up against every day, as as we all humans do, they cope 
> with
> this reality.
>
> Because of this, my boys are very reasonable and sensible boys.  Sometimes
> they'd want something that's beyond our budget.  What we do is have them 
> be
> aware of the simple, real truth that we don't have the money.  Then we
> sympathize with their desire to get it.  I want some things I can't 
> afford,
> too, so I genuinely empathize.  Then we discuss how we might still get it,
> by saving, or by saving and looking for an used one instead of new.  This 
> is
> a great opportunity for them to make choices.  All of my boys have saved 
> up
> for stuff, and they are actually better than Adrean and I are with our own
> savings.
>
> Yes, many parents who don't use this complete mindful parenting approach
> will surely find they have to set artificial parameters and rules.
> Unschooling in part, mixed with the Victorian traditions, doesn't work,
> because the premises are totally different.
>
> What does often contribute to adults acting most irresponsibly comes from
> traditional schooling.  You look at any college, and you'll notice that 
> the
> freshmans, well, I won't describe in graphic detail what a great majority 
> of
> them do.  Much of the real, actual learning they need to do to cope with
> real life is delayed until they are out of their parents' houses.  Only 
> then
> do they catch up on all what they feel like they've been deprived of, and
> they experiment madly and wildly, and it's often only then they begin to
> figure out what they want to do in their lives.
>
> Unschooling is not for everyone, as it is a huge investment and requires a
> whole shift in everything we do in our lives.  Also, many parents are
> unwilling to regard their children as who they really are.  Children are
> often viewed as second-class citizens, or chattel.  Many parents, sadly,
> treat their friends and guests better than they do their own children. 
> It's
> true.
>
> No, it doesn't mean we think babies are born fully mature.  But it does 
> mean
> we believe they are born fully human with human feelings and deserving of
> the same respect as we are.
>
> I encourage you to Goggle it up.  I am so glad that our Father in Heaven 
> led
> us to this, and this has brought much peace and joy to our family.
>
> John
>
>
>
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