[stylist] question

Judith Bron jbron at optonline.net
Thu Mar 26 19:56:45 UTC 2009 

Again we are seeing another part of the "I" centered world.  Of course the 
professionals know your kids better.  They meet with them a few hours a week 
but they have the degree to back up their findings.  For generations parents 
knew their kids well and I daresay did very well by them without the benefit 
of pieces of paper telling the world that they were indeed qualified to 
raise your child.  Special needs, regular kids without linmitations, it's 
all the same.  They all know better.  Or so they perceive.  Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, March 26, 2009 2:27 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question


>I have a friend who told me once that there are two types of parents of 
>special needs children:  those who reject, and those who over protect.  In 
>between those two there is a fine line.  I, as a parent of two such 
>children, have not found that line.  Sometimes I do one or the other and 
>sometimes I walk right down the middle.  I think most of the time they just 
>feel inadequate because the "professionals" are telling us many things and 
>we don't know which to believe.  Lots of "professionals" treat parents like 
>they are the most inferior part of the team--the weakest link.  Sometimes 
>it's hard to remember that we know the ins and outs of the children more 
>than the professionals.  They see their own part of that puzzle and we see 
>the child.
> I moved the soap box in inside.  I'm stepping down now once again.
> Barbara
>
> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, March 26, 2009 10:27 AM
> To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>
>> Let's not be too hard on parents who honestly think they are doing the 
>> best for their child.  They are operating under an erroneous premise. 
>> That is why word has to get out that blind children have alternatives in 
>> learning available to them.  Using these alternatives their child can 
>> also become the best they are capable of.  Judith
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Alan Wheeler" <awheeler at neb.rr.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, March 26, 2009 8:47 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>>
>>
>>> Here here!  They (the parents) either don't want to teach, or aren't 
>>> equipped to.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Alan Wheeler
>>> Lincoln, Nebraska
>>>
>>>
>>> No matter how fast your PC is, Microsoft will find a way to slow it down
>>> ~~~
>>> awheeler at neb.rr.com
>>> IM me at: outlaw-cowboy at live.com
>>> Skype: redwheel1
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>>> To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 10:54
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>>>
>>>
>>>> No. What you really have out there are parents who have no parameters 
>>>> for
>>>> their children but they waste every teachable moment by ignoring the
>>>> children because their own life is o so much more important.
>>>> Barbara
>>>>
>>>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of 
>>>> whom
>>>> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 1:53 PM
>>>> To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>>>>
>>>>> Judith:
>>>>>
>>>>> Unschooling doesn't result in kids growing up into adults who act like
>>>>> they
>>>>> can get anything they want.  Life itself has very clear and fixed
>>>>> parameters
>>>>> that my boys go up against every day, as as we all humans do, they 
>>>>> cope
>>>>> with
>>>>> this reality.
>>>>>
>>>>> Because of this, my boys are very reasonable and sensible boys. 
>>>>> Sometimes
>>>>> they'd want something that's beyond our budget.  What we do is have 
>>>>> them
>>>>> be
>>>>> aware of the simple, real truth that we don't have the money.  Then we
>>>>> sympathize with their desire to get it.  I want some things I can't
>>>>> afford,
>>>>> too, so I genuinely empathize.  Then we discuss how we might still get 
>>>>> it,
>>>>> by saving, or by saving and looking for an used one instead of new. 
>>>>> This
>>>>> is
>>>>> a great opportunity for them to make choices.  All of my boys have 
>>>>> saved
>>>>> up
>>>>> for stuff, and they are actually better than Adrean and I are with our 
>>>>> own
>>>>> savings.
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes, many parents who don't use this complete mindful parenting 
>>>>> approach
>>>>> will surely find they have to set artificial parameters and rules.
>>>>> Unschooling in part, mixed with the Victorian traditions, doesn't 
>>>>> work,
>>>>> because the premises are totally different.
>>>>>
>>>>> What does often contribute to adults acting most irresponsibly comes 
>>>>> from
>>>>> traditional schooling.  You look at any college, and you'll notice 
>>>>> that
>>>>> the
>>>>> freshmans, well, I won't describe in graphic detail what a great 
>>>>> majority
>>>>> of
>>>>> them do.  Much of the real, actual learning they need to do to cope 
>>>>> with
>>>>> real life is delayed until they are out of their parents' houses. 
>>>>> Only
>>>>> then
>>>>> do they catch up on all what they feel like they've been deprived of, 
>>>>> and
>>>>> they experiment madly and wildly, and it's often only then they begin 
>>>>> to
>>>>> figure out what they want to do in their lives.
>>>>>
>>>>> Unschooling is not for everyone, as it is a huge investment and 
>>>>> requires a
>>>>> whole shift in everything we do in our lives.  Also, many parents are
>>>>> unwilling to regard their children as who they really are.  Children 
>>>>> are
>>>>> often viewed as second-class citizens, or chattel.  Many parents, 
>>>>> sadly,
>>>>> treat their friends and guests better than they do their own children.
>>>>> It's
>>>>> true.
>>>>>
>>>>> No, it doesn't mean we think babies are born fully mature.  But it 
>>>>> does
>>>>> mean
>>>>> we believe they are born fully human with human feelings and deserving 
>>>>> of
>>>>> the same respect as we are.
>>>>>
>>>>> I encourage you to Goggle it up.  I am so glad that our Father in 
>>>>> Heaven
>>>>> led
>>>>> us to this, and this has brought much peace and joy to our family.
>>>>>
>>>>> John
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> No virus found in this outgoing message.
>>>>> Checked by AVG.
>>>>> Version: 7.5.557 / Virus Database: 270.11.26/2020 - Release Date:
>>>>> 3/24/2009
>>>>> 9:19 AM
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
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>
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