[stylist] need feedback

[Judith Bron]

Thanks!  In the manuscript there is a blank line between Jennifer's story 
and the other characters.  I keep Pessi's and Chavy's story together.  When 
you read it you see the difference by the person who begins talking at the 
beginning of the dialogue.  When it is just two girls having the dialogue, 
they are identified and the first one who starts speaking begins the 
paragraph.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 05, 2009 3:18 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] need feedback


>I think you're doing a fabulous job.  The sweetness of these girls brings 
>tears to my eyes.
> Since I listen to the story, is there a visual way that you separate when 
> you are changing characters?  If not, you might want to.  I had to 
> scramble every time there was a change.
> I love the story.  If you've not finished it, do so.
>
> Another thing I'm wondering is how long will it be before the characters 
> meet?  Since you frequently changed from Pessi to Jennifer, I'm guessing 
> it's soon?  The frequency of change makes me anticipate something 
> happening. Or is this the cruel means by which you keep the reader 
> interested?  In "cruel" I am being funny.
> Barbara
>
> The Hawkeyes are 9 and 0!  Let's go Iowa Hawkeyes!
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, November 05, 2009 1:48 PM
> To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] need feedback
>
>> Here is chapter three.  Many of you have been kind enough to read 
>> chapters 1 and 2.  Since most publishers and agents request the first 
>> three chapters of your book, I have to know if this chapter, combined 
>> with the other two, gets the reader more interested and leaves them with 
>> questions about what is coming.  The novel is very long.  I don' think 
>> I'll be sending more chapters.  Thanks!  Judith
>> CHAPTER THREE
>>
>>
>>
>> Sunday morning Dr. Green began his rounds with Jennifer.  "Hello, 
>> Jennifer.  How do you feel?"
>>
>> "A bit weak and sore."
>>
>> "I want to walk with you to the nurse's station.  Are you up for it?"
>>
>> "I'll try."
>>
>> The doctor disconnected the oxygen.  "We'll dispense with the oxygen 
>> today."
>>
>> Jennifer reached for the robe Sheila's husband Ted brought her the 
>> previous night.  Sliding carefully off the bed she felt an unfamiliar 
>> stiffness in her knee, but remembered she had suffered a now bandaged 
>> wound in the accident.  Ignoring the discomfort she started slowly 
>> towards the nurse's station.  By the time she got there traveling had 
>> become easier.
>>
>> "You're looking good, Jennifer.  I want to run a few tests tomorrow.  I'm 
>> not restricting your diet.   I anticipate you feeling better soon."
>>
>> Jennifer slowly returned to bed.  A few minutes later a nurse entered the 
>> room to help her take a shower.  The warm water felt so good.  After the 
>> shower she slipped into her nightgown before glancing into the bathroom 
>> mirror.  Yikes!  She looked horrible!  She couldn't go back to school 
>> like this.  She wouldn't give her classmates more humor on her behalf.
>>
>> When she returned to bed the phone rang.
>>
>> "Hi, Jennifer.  It's Randy."
>>
>> "Good morning, Randy.  I just took a shower, and looked at myself in the 
>> mirror.  Why didn't you tell me I look like Frankenstein's twin sister?"
>>
>> Randy laughed.  "Jennifer, you were in an accident.  In a few days you'll 
>> be your gorgeous self.  I'm about to leave for the hospital.  Can I bring 
>> you anything?"
>>
>> "No thanks, Randy.  See you soon."
>>
>>
>>
>> Pessi arrived at her all girls' school that morning to the sound of the 
>> ringing late bell.  The girls immediately noticed the stark contrast 
>> between last week's ragamuffin, and the girl who entered the classroom. 
>> With head held high, Pessi smiled at Chavy.
>>
>> The day started as usual with the Morning Prayer service.  Afterwards, 
>> Mrs. Rosenstein announced that Hanukkah was coming.  "Girls, this year 
>> the eleventh grade classes have been given the assignment of hosting a 
>> party for the entire high school.  This class has charge of food.  The 
>> other eleventh grade is in charge of donations, entertainment, and games. 
>> I'm giving out the jobs.    Who wants to volunteer to set up?"  She took 
>> down the names of the volunteers.
>>
>> She continued, "The school cook will prepare the traditional Hanukkah 
>> potato latkes, pancakes, but I need girls to make cakes, cookies, and 
>> arrange fruit platters."
>>
>> To the shock of the girls Pessi raised her hand first.  "Mrs. Rosenstein, 
>> I can make a frosted cake."
>>
>> Pessi never did anything with them.  What happened between last week and 
>> today that made such changes in this loner?
>>
>> Pessi couldn't believe her actions either.  Why did she volunteer so 
>> readily?  What would happen if the cake flopped?  She knew how to bake a 
>> cake, but what would happen if the girls hated it?  She hoped her 
>> mistrust in herself didn't show in her expression.
>>
>> Chavy was the next to raise her hand.  "I'm selfishly volunteering to 
>> prepare a fruit platter so I have something to eat.  I'll also bring a 
>> few bottles of diet soda."
>>
>> Amidst the laughter Mrs. Rosenstein replied, "Thank you, Chavy.  I'm sure 
>> your efforts will be appreciated by more girls than you."
>>
>> When the recess bell rang they pulled snacks from their backpacks before 
>> wandering into the hall.  After saying her Psalms Pessi sought out Chavy. 
>> She found her speaking to Shayna.  "Good morning, Chavy.  Thanks for 
>> everything yesterday."
>>
>> Chavy flashed a broad smile.  "No problem, Pessi.  I'm sure you know 
>> Shayna."
>>
>> "Pessi, your haircut is phenomenal!  Who cut it?"  Shayna's reaction to 
>> the haircut embarrassed Pessi.
>>
>> Chavy answered, "Her hairdresser has golden hands.  I love it!"
>>
>> "You look super."
>>
>> Chavy needed to see Toby from Chesed to set up the help for Pessi.  She 
>> found her with classmates.  "Good morning, Toby.  I have to speak to you 
>> about Chesed.  Let's grab a private corner."
>>
>> In an empty classroom Chavy began, "A serious situation has come up. 
>> There's a girl in our school who's poverty stricken with a mother dying 
>> from cancer.  Their house is a rundown converted summer home, and all the 
>> work has fallen on her shoulders.  The problem is this isn't a project 
>> for everyone.  She'll only accept Chesed if the situation is held in 
>> confidence.  For this reason I want to restrict it to the two of us.  The 
>> girl is Pessi Goldberg.  Rabbi Goldberg is her father, but that's also a 
>> secret.  She doesn't want anyone pretending to like her because she has a 
>> well-known father.  I want to go there four days a week starting 
>> tomorrow. Are you in?"
>>
>> Toby thought about the request.  According to the guidelines of Chesed no 
>> one got help from the community service group more than once a week. 
>> Obviously this was a special situation.  "If it wasn't serious you 
>> wouldn't be telling me this, and insisting on Chesed four days a week. 
>> I'm in.  We'll take the bus with Pessi tomorrow. By the way, I saw her 
>> today.   She's stunning!  Who did her hair?"
>>
>> "Her hairdresser has golden hands.  Thanks a lot, Toby.  See you later." 
>> Chavy started happily down the hall toward her next class excited things 
>> were working out for Pessi.
>>
>> When the Goldberg boys came from Yeshiva at lunchtime Mrs. Goldberg told 
>> them she wanted the curtain rods in the basement hung up.  The boys did 
>> this wondering what would hang on these things.  They never thought the 
>> pile of cloth on the table could be anything but cleaning rags.
>>
>> Their mother coordinated the first decorating job in years from her sofa 
>> by beginning, "I want those sheer curtains with white embroidery hung up 
>> in this room.  Take the floral print ones to the kitchen and dinette. 
>> The pink curtains will fit perfectly in the girls' room.  You can put the 
>> blue ones in your room. The striped curtains will match my room and 
>> Tatty's office.  On the table are picture hooks.  Please hang this 
>> picture of a library over the couch, and the one of a flower garden on 
>> the wall common with the staircase."
>>
>> She glanced around the small room noting the big difference these lovely 
>> things made.  This room almost looked nice!  Shayna remembered how lavish 
>> the house they had to leave had been.  This place would never mirror that 
>> one, but at least now it had an air of elegance.
>>
>> Yitzie and Avi remembered their mother in better days.  They recalled her 
>> visiting the sick the way ladies visited her now.  When she attended 
>> social events with their father she had to be the loveliest woman in the 
>> world.  They fondly remembered her helping them with their homework, and 
>> giving them an encouraging hug and kiss when things got rough.  Now they 
>> knew what was happening and dreaded it, but today she was involved with 
>> something that put smiles on their faces.  Could this small event be the 
>> start of better days?
>>
>> When the Rabbi entered the house after the boys left for school he saw 
>> the curtains and newly hung pictures.  "It looks so nice, Shayna.  Who 
>> directed this whole thing?"
>>
>> "I did, dear.  It's nice to know I haven't lost my touch."  The Rabbi was 
>> thrilled to see her beautiful smile again.
>>
>> After being driven home by Rabbi Levy, Pessi's shock was visible as her 
>> eyes scanned the dining room and dinette.  This place almost felt normal! 
>> "It looks so nice, Mommy.  Did you tell the boys where to put 
>> everything?"
>>
>> "Yes, dear.  It's not the old house, but I think it looks better than I 
>> ever remember."
>>
>> "I agree.  Even the walls don't seem so drab.  You did an outstanding 
>> job."  She ran up the stairs before her mother could ask her questions 
>> about the girls at school.
>>
>> That afternoon Chavy stopped at a variety store in the neighborhood to 
>> pick up a picture frame with a mat cut to accommodate lots of 
>> photographs. This would be perfect for Pessi's family pictures.
>>
>>
>>
>> Jennifer went through the medical tests on Monday morning.  Monday 
>> afternoon Dr. Green appeared at her door again.  "Hi, Jennifer.  How's 
>> everything?"
>>
>> "I'm feeling much better.  How did the tests turn out?"
>>
>> Dr. Green took the chair beside her bed.  "The test results were good. 
>> They showed you have a slight problem with your heart.  This is not a big 
>> deal.  I'm giving you medication you'll take once a day.  I want to see 
>> you back here in a month when we'll repeat the test."
>>
>> "What's wrong with my heart?"
>>
>> "There seems to be some irregularity with your heartbeat.  I've read your 
>> medical records from your family doctor, and you never had this problem 
>> before.
>>
>> I just want to make sure it isn't cause for future concern."
>>
>> "I'm a cheerleader.  Can I still do that?"
>>
>> "I would prefer if you hold off until after your next appointment."
>>
>> "Our last football game is Saturday.  Can I stand on the sidelines 
>> screaming cheers?"
>>
>> Dr. Green smiled.  "Let me think about it.  Hopefully you can go home on 
>> Wednesday."
>>
>> "Thank you, doctor."
>>
>> Before the doctor left the room Jennifer reached for one of the books on 
>> her table.  "Are you reading that play for school?"
>>
>> "No.  This is my own reading."
>>
>> "You like Shakespeare?"
>>
>> "Sure.  He's exciting."
>>
>> The doctor nodded.  His thoughts about Jennifer not suffering brain 
>> damage from the accident were almost confirmed.  "Enjoy your reading, 
>> Jennifer."
>>
>>
>>
>> After school on Monday Chavy and Toby took the bus with Pessi.  Pessi 
>> never took this bus before.  She always ran home thinking it would take 
>> too long with all the stops the bus had to make.
>>
>> Toby was pleasantly surprised to find Pessi a fun girl.  She talked with 
>> them about current events, different classes, and the upcoming Hanukkah 
>> party.
>>
>> Outside the Goldberg house Pessi started apologizing for the rundown 
>> dwelling.  Toby smiled.  "Don't be ridiculous, Pessi.  None of us lives 
>> in a palace."
>>
>> Inside Chavy immediately headed for Mrs. Goldberg's sofa.  "Hi, Mrs. 
>> Goldberg.  It's so nice to see you again."
>>
>> "It's good to see you also.  Pessi's hair is gorgeous.  Thank you."
>>
>> Toby wondered, "When did Chavy become a hairdresser?"
>>
>> Chavy continued, "Mrs. Goldberg, this is my friend Toby Teitelbaum. 
>> She's going to be coming here with me to help Pessi."
>>
>> Mrs. Goldberg's smile could have lit up the house.  "It's a pleasure to 
>> meet you, Toby.  Your mother is one of the special ladies who visit me 
>> every week.  I feel terrible that the responsibility for everything has 
>> fallen on Pessi's shoulders.  She needs more time to be a teenager. 
>> Thank you so much for helping."
>>
>> Pessi blushed.  Why did her mother insist on embarrassing her?  "Mommy, 
>> stop making me sound like something I'm not.  Everything I'm doing I do 
>> because I love you.  Stop feeling guilty!"
>>
>> Chavy was shocked at Pessi's outburst. She took charge, handed Pessi the 
>> picture frame, and told her to fit family photographs into it.  Pessi 
>> thanked her.  She gazed at the frame trying to imagine it with their old 
>> family pictures from better times placed in the mat.  She would begin 
>> working on it later.  Perhaps her mother would enjoy creating the 
>> collage.
>>
>> Chavy announced, "I'll do the kitchen with Pessi.  Toby, can you vacuum 
>> the rugs in the dining room and bedrooms?"
>>
>> "No problem."
>>
>> Alone with Pessi Chavy said, "I figure I can clean while you make dinner. 
>> How about it?"
>>
>> "I just want to throw a load in the washer.  Be right up."
>>
>> By the time Rabbi Levy beeped his horn the Goldberg house was starting to 
>> shine.
>>
>> After they dropped Toby off Chavy said, "Tatty, I have to pick something 
>> up for school in the grocery store.  Can we stop there?"
>>
>> The Rabbi nodded.  Chavy ran into the store and returned a few minutes 
>> later carrying a small bag.
>>
>> Seeing the tiny parcel her father asked, "What did you have to get?"
>>
>> "I noticed the silver in the Goldberg china cabinet is tarnished so I 
>> bought polish to spruce it up.  Toby and I are going there Mondays 
>> through Thursday.  This should take some of the pressure off Pessi."
>>
>>
>>
>> Jennifer's CAT scan Tuesday morning revealed there was indeed no brain 
>> damage.  The doctor reiterated he wanted her to remain in the hospital 
>> until the following morning for observation.  Sheila was busy with the 
>> kids, Randy had school, her roommate Cindy called her a few times, and 
>> none of her classmates were going to go out of their way to go to the 
>> hospital.    So Jennifer was alone with Shakespeare, text books, and 
>> thoughts.  She knew if her mother allowed her to stay she would be dead. 
>> But besides Sheila and Randy, who would care?  Jennifer knew she would be 
>> happier in a place where she didn't have to worry about love, bigoted 
>> remarks and loneliness.  Yes, being dead would be a lot better than the 
>> life she had to live.  She reached for Shakespeare again.
>>
>> She could hardly wait to get home and back to her sewing machine.  But 
>> she derived enjoyment from her craft, not happiness.
>>
>>
>>
>> Before dinner Pessi approached her mother.  "Mommy, I volunteered to bake 
>> a cake for the school Hanukkah party.  Is that all right?"
>>
>> "I'm thrilled that you are taking part in the party.  Before you start 
>> bring me my cook books so we can pick out a delicious recipe."
>>
>> "Do you want a tray here or should I help you to the table?"
>>
>> "I'm not hungry now. Perhaps later I'll eat something.  Now go and enjoy 
>> your dinner."
>>
>> Pessi knew that "later" would never come.  This was a nice way of 
>> refusing to eat for the second day in a row.  Each morning Pessi put out 
>> a breakfast tray for her mother, but when she got home she found most of 
>> the food in the garbage.  Her father served her lunch, but often admitted 
>> very little was gone from the lunch tray also.  With her serious illness 
>> could she survive by eating nothing?  Pessi turned her attention back to 
>> serving dinner, but these worries lingered.
>>
>> The next morning Pessi came in to the sound of the ringing late bell as 
>> usual.  This uncommon entrance was still a mystery to her classmates. 
>> For whatever reason her new friendship with Chavy Levy validated her 
>> strange behavior.  The girls assumed Chavy knew the reasons, but had been 
>> asked not to tell anyone.
>>
>> Every morning Pessi showered and dressed before  preparing breakfast for 
>> the younger kids.  That done, she hurried to her mother's room, assisted 
>> her in getting out of bed, washed, dressed and ready for the day.  She 
>> served her coffee and breakfast.  After this routine she quickly ate her 
>> own breakfast and ran to school as soon as her father returned from 
>> morning services.
>>
>> The community made arrangements for at least two ladies to visit Mrs. 
>> Goldberg each day.  Bassie Levy's visiting partner was busy on this 
>> Tuesday so she stopped at the bakery to pick up some pastries and juice 
>> before going to visit her friend.   Upon entering the house she 
>> immediately saw the improvements in the room.  "Shayna, this place is 
>> looking so nice."
>>
>> "Thank you, Bassie.  I appreciate you giving the curtains and pictures to 
>> Pessi."
>>
>> "My pleasure.  How do you feel?"
>>
>> "My husband just increased my pain medication.  It's getting more 
>> difficult to cope with, but a big part of the pain is gone.  Bassie, have 
>> you any idea how much of a difference your daughter has made in our 
>> lives?"
>>
>> Bassie felt herself blush.  "I just know Chavy is very impressed with 
>> Pessi and your family.  I know she comes here every afternoon, but after 
>> dinner she's on the phone with your daughter while doing her homework. 
>> Shayna, your daughter is an absolute beauty.  When I saw her after the 
>> haircut the other night I could see instantly that she's a duplicate of 
>> her mother.  With Pessi as her friend my daughter seems happier, does her 
>> homework more willingly leaving her less time to harass her brother. 
>> Shayna, I should be the one thanking you."  The two ladies laughed, and 
>> Bassie carried in the tray with Shayna's snack.
>>
>> The gaunt woman with the sunken cheeks and sallow complexion smiled at 
>> her friend.  The only things about Shayna Bassie recognized from before 
>> were her winning smile and pretty, albeit frail, voice.  "Thank you, 
>> Bassie. This looks so good."
>>
>> "Then don't spend time admiring it, but start eating it."
>>
>> "I'm not hungry right now.  Perhaps later I'll have a better appetite." 
>> Both of them understood this answer to be nothing more than a polite 
>> excuse.
>>
>> "Shayna, I feel so bad.  I mentioned my daughter a lot over the past few 
>> months when there were other ladies here, but you never mentioned Pessi. 
>> Why didn't you talk about your daughter?"
>>
>> "Pessi felt self conscious about our poverty and my illness. She figured 
>> if anyone knew about her family they would befriend her out of pity, and 
>> not for herself.  My daughter didn't want anyone knowing who her father 
>> is.  She didn't need anyone pretending to like her because she has a 
>> well-known father.  With Chavy's friendship and help my daughter is 
>> happier than I've seen her in ages."
>>
>> The billowing silence hung heavily over the room before Shayna continued. 
>> "All of us know what the doctor meant when he decided to end my 
>> treatments.  I know I won't be here to see my daughter graduate, but 
>> seeing her these past few days has made me feel like I have more energy, 
>> and a greater ability to smile.  Ever since I got sick Pessi has 
>> withdrawn from the world of other girls, and devoted herself exclusively 
>> to me and the family.  Bassie, if I have to leave this world tomorrow at 
>> least I'll go knowing my daughter has a bright future in front of her."
>>
>> She reached for a tissue trying to hide the tears, but Bassie's tears ran 
>> down her cheeks.
>>
>> Bassie put an arm around Shayna.  "Shayna, we can never give up.  Pessi 
>> is doing well, but we can't stop concentrating on making you better.  All 
>> of us are praying for your recovery every chance we get."  Shayna started 
>> nibbling on a pastry.
>>
>> Bassie stayed a few minutes longer before kissing Shayna good by.  She 
>> hoped and prayed her friend would recover, but had an awful feeling that 
>> she wouldn't.
>>
>> Miriam and Ruthie noticed Chavy and Toby taking the bus with Pessi for 
>> the second day in a row.  Miriam had to give her conjecture as to why the 
>> most popular girl in the school, and the head of Chesed were doing this. 
>> "Ruthie, the only reason I can come up with is that Pessi lives in a real 
>> dump so Toby and Chavy are going there to make it more livable.  The 
>> problem is it's against school rules to have Chesed go to the same house 
>> more than once a week.  Is her family using Chesed as cleaning ladies?"
>>
>> They boarded their bus convinced Pessi's family was using Chesed in a way 
>> that was against the rules.
>>
>> When Chavy and Toby arrived at the Goldbergs after school Chavy glanced 
>> at the china cabinet with the tarnished silver.  "Toby, want to wash what 
>> I polish?"
>>
>> "Sure."
>>
>> Watching from her sofa Mrs. Goldberg smiled thinking that her house could 
>> once again look decent.  She couldn't believe what these girls were doing 
>> for her daughter and family.  Once done with the silver they washed all 
>> the decorative pieces that adorned the cabinet.  Chavy and Toby stepped 
>> back to admire their work.
>>
>> When Pessi came up carrying the last load of laundry she heard her mother 
>> say, "That china closet looks fantastic!  I almost forgot how nice our 
>> things could look."
>>
>> Pessi saw the pretty cabinet with the newly cleaned and polished items. 
>> "Thank you so much.  You did a fabulous job.  For once I'm caught up with 
>> laundry before Friday."
>>
>> The completed Goldberg family composite Pessi and her mother put together 
>> the previous night caught Chavy's eye.  "That family collage is 
>> wonderful. Those pictures of you as a little kid are adorable."
>>
>> "Thanks, Chavy.  My mother loves it.  It brings back beautiful memories." 
>> Pessi noticed a picture of her mother years ago with her two older 
>> brothers.  The elegant woman, so straight and tall with a face that 
>> looked like Pessi's, didn't begin to resemble the woman she now called 
>> Mommy. The memories were great, but also sad.  It hurt to realize this 
>> woman had disappeared.
>>
>>
>>
>> Dr. Green discharged Jennifer on Wednesday morning.  "Don't forget to 
>> make an appointment in a month.  Also, if you start feeling anything out 
>> of the ordinary I want to be called immediately.  I mean that, Jennifer, 
>> immediately.   For now go home, relax, and don't go back to school until 
>> Monday at the earliest.  I remember you mentioning the football game. You 
>> can go if you stand on the sidelines.  No gymnastics, dancing or anything 
>> else that is strenuous.  I'll see you next month."  Jennifer happily left 
>> the hospital with Sheila.
>>
>> On Friday the older girls didn't have school because they went on Sunday. 
>> Mrs. Goldberg told Pessi, "If I sit in a chair I can peel the potatoes 
>> for you.  If you give me the soup vegetables I can make the soup so all 
>> you have to do is fill the pot with water.  Let me sit with a garbage 
>> can, peeler, knife, and you do the cooking."
>>
>> "Mommy, I don't want you using the strength."
>>
>> "Its no big deal, but very odd.  They gave up my chemo because they 
>> claimed there's no hope for me, but I'm starting to feel stronger. 
>> Whatever the case, as long as I have the energy I'll use it.  Now help me 
>> to the kitchen chair."  Pessi brought her mother to the dinette, and Mrs. 
>> Goldberg prepared all the vegetables for Shabbos.  It amazed Pessi when 
>> she finished her work in half the time.
>>
>> "Thank you, Mommy.  It took less time than usual."
>>
>> The next morning Pessi dressed in one of the outfits and shoes from 
>> Chavy. She wished her mother good Shabbos before leaving for her father's 
>> synagogue.  It felt so good to get dressed in normal, beautiful clothes. 
>> A part of her also wanted to see the expressions on Ruthie's and Miriam's 
>> faces when she entered the Shul.
>>
>> Pessi realized that for the first time in months her mother didn't badger 
>> her with complaints about her reclusive lifestyle.  Yes, she had come out 
>> of her self constructed closet and into the world of the living.  What 
>> her mother didn't know, and Pessi didn't want to tell her, is that the 
>> only two girls she had a relationship with were Chavy and Toby.  She felt 
>> comfortable with that.  At the synagogue she took a seat in the women's 
>> section, and opened her prayer book.  When the services ended she 
>> prepared to leave.  In the coatroom Ruthie and Miriam stared at her.  She 
>> smiled at the two of them before going out into the cold, crisp November 
>> air.
>>
>> The yentas followed her out.  Miriam observed, "I can't believe it! 
>> Someone must have taken her in, and bought her new clothes.  With her new 
>> haircut, and those clothes, perhaps someone is showing our reject what it 
>> means to look like a normal person.  Why does she wear those ugly shoes 
>> to school when she has those stylish ones in the closet?  I guess you can 
>> take the reject away from the garbage, but can't take all the garbage 
>> away from the reject.  Her coat should be declared illegal!" They laughed 
>> at Miriam's petty remarks, but this week Pessi didn't linger close enough 
>> to hear their reaction.  She knew she looked terrific.  Even the nasty 
>> remarks of the yentas couldn't dampen her spirits.
>>
>> When she got home she greeted her mother before going upstairs to change 
>> out of her good clothes.  She would put them on later if she decided to 
>> go out.  What a difference compared to last week! The girl who spent last 
>> Shabbos morning putting up her defenses against the world today came in 
>> singing.  She went in the kitchen to prepare the salad.  It shocked her 
>> to see a completed one on the counter!  "Mommy!  When did you do this?"
>>
>> "Suri helped me to the table, and brought me everything.  Now all you 
>> have to do is set the table."
>>
>> Pessi kissed her mother before getting the silverware.
>>
>> After the meal Pessi asked permission to go to Chavy's house.  Her father 
>> quickly answered, "Go ahead, Pessi.  Your brothers and I will take care 
>> of Sudat shlishit.  Have a good time."
>>
>> Pessi dressed in the same outfit and black shoes she wore that morning, 
>> spending extra time doing her luxurious black hair.  She looked good 
>> despite the ragged coat she would be putting on in a few minutes.  In the 
>> dining room her mother remarked, "You look spectacular, dear.  Have a 
>> good time."
>>
>> Pessi made her way leisurely under the brilliant November sun.  It had 
>> been ages since she went out on a Shabbos or any other day just to have 
>> fun.
>>
>> Ambling down Chavy's block she spotted a little girl with red hair 
>> standing on her front porch watching the world go by.  As Pessi neared 
>> Chavy's house the child ran up to her asking, "Do you know Chavy Levy?"
>>
>> A surprised Pessi answered, "Yes, I do.  Why?"
>>
>> In a serious voice Chaya Kravitz started, "She's the meanest girl in the 
>> world.  I don't think nice people should be her friends."
>>
>> "Chavy is a nice person, and my friend.  I think little girls should find 
>> something better to do with their time than gossip about older girls. 
>> Good Shabbos."
>>
>> When Pessi knocked on the Levy door Chumy answered.  "Good Shabbos, 
>> Pessi. Come on in."
>>
>> Chumy called her sister at the same time Yigal passed them on his way 
>> out. "Pessi, just teach my sister to be a doll like you!  There's only so 
>> much a guy can be expected to take!"  Pessi blushed, and Yigal left the 
>> house.
>>
>> Chavy greeted her friend.  "You're just in time.  I'm picking up Shayna. 
>> We were going to pick you up for B'nos, but you beat us to it.  Want to 
>> go?"
>>
>> "Sure.  Who's speaking?"
>>
>> "Mrs. Newman.  They're also serving a delicious dessert buffet after. 
>> This is where all my weight comes in.  You're so skinny it doesn't matter 
>> what you eat.  Some people have all the luck!"
>>
>> Pessi told Chavy about her encounter with the curly topped red headed 
>> child.  Chavy's face blazed with anger.  "Chaya Kravitz is trouble.  I've 
>> known her since the day she was born, and spent many afternoons dragging 
>> her back to a worried mother who didn't have a clue about her 
>> whereabouts. Chaya blames me for all the trouble she gets into, but no 
>> one can convince her that if she didn't do something wrong to begin with 
>> nothing I do would make a difference.  Don't worry about Chaya Kravitz. 
>> Luckily she's not our problem."    The three of them headed for B'nos 
>> leaving Chaya Kravitz eyeing them from down the block.
>>
>> That afternoon Mrs. Newman shared her insight on the topic of chesed.  As 
>> if responding to the actions of the past week the principal mentioned in 
>> her description, "Girls, many of you may think that when going on a 
>> Chesed assignment you are doing something nice for someone else.  The 
>> truth is that you are, but in return you're getting something greater 
>> back.  While giving to others you will find yourself in many situations 
>> where you take away incomparable experiences with people that can't be 
>> taught on a university campus.  Over the years I've seen situations where 
>> Chesed girls go to people's homes and come out with a good friend for 
>> life, the knowledge of something they would have never learned if not for 
>> the people they started out helping and more understanding of the world 
>> in general. Chesed is not a school requirement just because people need 
>> help, but we want our girls to learn that there is a big world out there. 
>> Where ever you end up we want you to know you have the ability to make a 
>> difference."
>>
>> During Mrs. Newman's weekly visit to Mrs. Goldberg Shayna raved about the 
>> girls who came four days a week to help her family and were instrumental 
>> in bringing her beautiful daughter into the world of teenage life.  Until 
>> that discussion Mrs. Newman had been unaware of this project and smiled 
>> listening to Shayna Goldberg tell of her students' activities.
>>
>> She simply responded, "Shayna, I love my job because my girls make it 
>> easy to love.  I'm glad they are helping out Pessi.  She's a lovely girl 
>> and deserves the help."
>>
>> Going through Pessi's mind were the questions, "Can anyone learn anything 
>> from helping my family?  What can girls learn from a dying mother and 
>> dire poverty?"
>>
>> She had a feeling Mrs. Newman was referring to Chavy and Toby going to 
>> the Goldbergs' four days a week, but wondered what she was talking about 
>> when she implied that when helping a family like hers someone could come 
>> away with knowledge they wouldn't otherwise have.  Her mother mentioned 
>> the other day that Mrs. Newman visited and she told the principal about 
>> what her Chesed girls were doing, but Pessi still couldn't understand 
>> anything of value Chavy or Toby could take away with them.
>>
>> Going through Chavy's mind was the question, "How can she begin to know 
>> what helping the Goldbergs has contributed to our lives forever?"  Chavy 
>> knew she would never look at anything the same again.
>>
>> On the way out of school Chavy asked, "Pessi, Want to come over for sudat 
>> shlishit?"
>>
>> "Yes.  My father told me the boys would take care of it at my house."
>>
>> "Perhaps your brothers would tell my brothers how to do it.  Yigal is 
>> still complaining about having to make tuna salad and drying dishes last 
>> week.  Those guys are worthless!  "
>>
>>
>>
>> Jennifer spent a lot of time that morning putting makeup over her healing 
>> bruises.  Once that was done she put on her cheerleader's uniform, and 
>> headed for the field.  On Jennifer's way out Sheila voiced her opinion. 
>> "I don't think you should be going out so soon after the accident."
>>
>> "Sheila, I'm fine.  I'm a big girl and can take care of myself.  Stop 
>> worrying!"  With that she left the house.
>>
>> She stood on the sidelines helping the cheerleaders inspire the crowd 
>> with their enthusiastic cheers.  A few of the girls came up to her to 
>> inquire about the accident.  Some of the guys welcomed her back while 
>> others couldn't resist commenting about the bruises on her face.
>>
>> Jack, one of the guys on the team, strode up to her during half time. 
>> "Jennifer, I'm sorry that your beautiful Jewish face had to suffer. 
>> Maybe there's a Jewish prayer that will help it heal faster."  Holding 
>> the hand of another cheerleader he continued through the club house 
>> laughing.
>>
>> She stared after him wondering about his comment.  Did Jews pray?  Just 
>> another Saturday at the football field.
>>
>> When she got home she heard Sheila on the phone.  "Hold on a minute.  She 
>> just came in."  Jennifer took the phone.
>>
>> "Hi, Jennifer.  It's Randy.  I just got a call telling me that the other 
>> team lost.  The trophy is ours!"
>>
>> "Congratulations, Randy!  I know how hard you worked for this."
>>
>> "The dance tonight will be our victory party.  Will you go with me?"
>>
>> "Randy, we've been through this.  Enjoy the party.  You deserve it."
>>
>> Jennifer knew that Randy felt things for her that were probably 
>> indicative of teenage love.  But Jennifer didn't know how to love.  She 
>> liked Randy a lot, and couldn't mislead him into thinking that her 
>> feelings could be more serious than close friendship.  She changed out of 
>> her uniform and ran downstairs to her sewing machine.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> stylist:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net