[stylist] need feedback
James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR
n6yr at sunflower.com
Wed Nov 11 05:25:59 UTC 2009
Judith,
I hope to look over your material tomorrow.
wow, our state convention was exciting.
jc
Jim Canaday M.A.
Lawrence, KS
At 04:14 PM 11/10/2009, you wrote:
>Thanks, Donna. Will check these out. Judith
>
>----- Original Message ----- From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
>To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Tuesday, November 10, 2009 11:30 AM
>Subject: Re: [stylist] need feedback
>
>
>>Judith,
>>How long is long? I had concerns about novel length and recently
>>did some internet research. There are a couple of sites you might
>>want to take a look at. Basically, for a first novel -- and this is
>>an approximate number -- publishers are looking for around 80,000 words.
>>Here are the links:
>>Bookends, LLC, a literary agency, Word Count:
>>http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/07/word-count.html
>>
>>Nathan Bransford, literary agent, Novel Word Count:
>>http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2008/02/novel-word-count.html
>>
>>Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>>http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>>
>>Follow me on Twitter:
>>www.twitter.com/dewhill
>>
>>Join Me on LinkedIn:
>>http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>>
>>Or, FaceBook:
>>http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>>
>>Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>>http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>>
>>Apple I-Tunes
>>
>>phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>>
>>Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>www.padnfb.org
>>
>>
>>
>>Judith Bron wrote:
>>>Here is chapter three. Many of you have been kind enough to read
>>>chapters 1 and 2. Since most publishers and agents request the
>>>first three chapters of your book, I have to know if this chapter,
>>>combined with the other two, gets the reader more interested and
>>>leaves them with questions about what is coming. The novel is
>>>very long. I don' think I'll be sending more chapters. Thanks! Judith
>>>CHAPTER THREE
>>>
>>>
>>>Sunday morning Dr. Green began his rounds with Jennifer. "Hello,
>>>Jennifer. How do you feel?"
>>>
>>>"A bit weak and sore."
>>>
>>>"I want to walk with you to the nurse's station. Are you up for it?"
>>>
>>>"I'll try."
>>>The doctor disconnected the oxygen. "We'll dispense with the oxygen today."
>>>Jennifer reached for the robe Sheila's husband Ted brought her the
>>>previous night. Sliding carefully off the bed she felt an
>>>unfamiliar stiffness in her knee, but remembered she had suffered
>>>a now bandaged wound in the accident. Ignoring the discomfort she
>>>started slowly towards the nurse's station. By the time she got
>>>there traveling had become easier.
>>>"You're looking good, Jennifer. I want to run a few tests
>>>tomorrow. I'm not restricting your diet. I anticipate you
>>>feeling better soon."
>>>
>>>Jennifer slowly returned to bed. A few minutes later a nurse
>>>entered the room to help her take a shower. The warm water felt
>>>so good. After the shower she slipped into her nightgown before
>>>glancing into the bathroom mirror. Yikes! She looked
>>>horrible! She couldn't go back to school like this. She wouldn't
>>>give her classmates more humor on her behalf.
>>>
>>>When she returned to bed the phone rang.
>>>"Hi, Jennifer. It's Randy."
>>>
>>>"Good morning, Randy. I just took a shower, and looked at myself
>>>in the mirror. Why didn't you tell me I look like Frankenstein's twin sister?"
>>>
>>>Randy laughed. "Jennifer, you were in an accident. In a few days
>>>you'll be your gorgeous self. I'm about to leave for the
>>>hospital. Can I bring you anything?"
>>>
>>>"No thanks, Randy. See you soon."
>>>
>>>Pessi arrived at her all girls' school that morning to the sound
>>>of the ringing late bell. The girls immediately noticed the stark
>>>contrast between last week's ragamuffin, and the girl who entered
>>>the classroom. With head held high, Pessi smiled at Chavy.
>>>
>>>The day started as usual with the Morning Prayer
>>>service. Afterwards, Mrs. Rosenstein announced that Hanukkah was
>>>coming. "Girls, this year the eleventh grade classes have been
>>>given the assignment of hosting a party for the entire high
>>>school. This class has charge of food. The other eleventh grade
>>>is in charge of donations, entertainment, and games. I'm giving
>>>out the jobs. Who wants to volunteer to set up?" She took down
>>>the names of the volunteers.
>>>She continued, "The school cook will prepare the traditional
>>>Hanukkah potato latkes, pancakes, but I need girls to make cakes,
>>>cookies, and arrange fruit platters."
>>>To the shock of the girls Pessi raised her hand first. "Mrs.
>>>Rosenstein, I can make a frosted cake."
>>>Pessi never did anything with them. What happened between last
>>>week and today that made such changes in this loner?
>>>Pessi couldn't believe her actions either. Why did she volunteer
>>>so readily? What would happen if the cake flopped? She knew how
>>>to bake a cake, but what would happen if the girls hated it? She
>>>hoped her mistrust in herself didn't show in her expression.
>>>Chavy was the next to raise her hand. "I'm selfishly volunteering
>>>to prepare a fruit platter so I have something to eat. I'll also
>>>bring a few bottles of diet soda."
>>>Amidst the laughter Mrs. Rosenstein replied, "Thank you,
>>>Chavy. I'm sure your efforts will be appreciated by more girls than you."
>>>When the recess bell rang they pulled snacks from their backpacks
>>>before wandering into the hall. After saying her Psalms Pessi
>>>sought out Chavy. She found her speaking to Shayna. "Good
>>>morning, Chavy. Thanks for everything yesterday."
>>>Chavy flashed a broad smile. "No problem, Pessi. I'm sure you
>>>know Shayna."
>>>"Pessi, your haircut is phenomenal! Who cut it?" Shayna's
>>>reaction to the haircut embarrassed Pessi.
>>>Chavy answered, "Her hairdresser has golden hands. I love it!"
>>>"You look super."
>>>Chavy needed to see Toby from Chesed to set up the help for
>>>Pessi. She found her with classmates. "Good morning, Toby. I
>>>have to speak to you about Chesed. Let's grab a private corner."
>>>In an empty classroom Chavy began, "A serious situation has come
>>>up. There's a girl in our school who's poverty stricken with a
>>>mother dying from cancer. Their house is a rundown converted
>>>summer home, and all the work has fallen on her shoulders. The
>>>problem is this isn't a project for everyone. She'll only accept
>>>Chesed if the situation is held in confidence. For this reason I
>>>want to restrict it to the two of us. The girl is Pessi
>>>Goldberg. Rabbi Goldberg is her father, but that's also a
>>>secret. She doesn't want anyone pretending to like her because
>>>she has a well-known father. I want to go there four days a week
>>>starting tomorrow. Are you in?"
>>>Toby thought about the request. According to the guidelines of
>>>Chesed no one got help from the community service group more than
>>>once a week. Obviously this was a special situation. "If it
>>>wasn't serious you wouldn't be telling me this, and insisting on
>>>Chesed four days a week. I'm in. We'll take the bus with Pessi
>>>tomorrow. By the way, I saw her today. She's stunning! Who did her hair?"
>>>"Her hairdresser has golden hands. Thanks a lot, Toby. See you
>>>later." Chavy started happily down the hall toward her next class
>>>excited things were working out for Pessi.
>>>When the Goldberg boys came from Yeshiva at lunchtime Mrs.
>>>Goldberg told them she wanted the curtain rods in the basement
>>>hung up. The boys did this wondering what would hang on these
>>>things. They never thought the pile of cloth on the table could
>>>be anything but cleaning rags.
>>>Their mother coordinated the first decorating job in years from
>>>her sofa by beginning, "I want those sheer curtains with white
>>>embroidery hung up in this room. Take the floral print ones to
>>>the kitchen and dinette. The pink curtains will fit perfectly in
>>>the girls' room. You can put the blue ones in your room. The
>>>striped curtains will match my room and Tatty's office. On the
>>>table are picture hooks. Please hang this picture of a library
>>>over the couch, and the one of a flower garden on the wall common
>>>with the staircase."
>>>She glanced around the small room noting the big difference these
>>>lovely things made. This room almost looked nice! Shayna
>>>remembered how lavish the house they had to leave had been. This
>>>place would never mirror that one, but at least now it had an air of elegance.
>>>Yitzie and Avi remembered their mother in better days. They
>>>recalled her visiting the sick the way ladies visited her
>>>now. When she attended social events with their father she had to
>>>be the loveliest woman in the world. They fondly remembered her
>>>helping them with their homework, and giving them an encouraging
>>>hug and kiss when things got rough. Now they knew what was
>>>happening and dreaded it, but today she was involved with
>>>something that put smiles on their faces. Could this small event
>>>be the start of better days?
>>>When the Rabbi entered the house after the boys left for school he
>>>saw the curtains and newly hung pictures. "It looks so nice,
>>>Shayna. Who directed this whole thing?"
>>>"I did, dear. It's nice to know I haven't lost my touch." The
>>>Rabbi was thrilled to see her beautiful smile again.
>>>After being driven home by Rabbi Levy, Pessi's shock was visible
>>>as her eyes scanned the dining room and dinette. This place
>>>almost felt normal! "It looks so nice, Mommy. Did you tell the
>>>boys where to put everything?"
>>> "Yes, dear. It's not the old house, but I think it looks better
>>> than I ever remember."
>>>
>>> "I agree. Even the walls don't seem so drab. You did an
>>> outstanding job." She ran up the stairs before her mother could
>>> ask her questions about the girls at school.
>>>That afternoon Chavy stopped at a variety store in the
>>>neighborhood to pick up a picture frame with a mat cut to
>>>accommodate lots of photographs. This would be perfect for
>>>Pessi's family pictures.
>>>
>>>Jennifer went through the medical tests on Monday morning. Monday
>>>afternoon Dr. Green appeared at her door again. "Hi,
>>>Jennifer. How's everything?"
>>>
>>> "I'm feeling much better. How did the tests turn out?"
>>>
>>>Dr. Green took the chair beside her bed. "The test results were
>>>good. They showed you have a slight problem with your heart. This
>>>is not a big deal. I'm giving you medication you'll take once a
>>>day. I want to see you back here in a month when we'll repeat the test."
>>>
>>> "What's wrong with my heart?"
>>>
>>> "There seems to be some irregularity with your heartbeat. I've
>>> read your medical records from your family doctor, and you never
>>> had this problem before.
>>>I just want to make sure it isn't cause for future concern."
>>>
>>> "I'm a cheerleader. Can I still do that?"
>>>
>>> "I would prefer if you hold off until after your next appointment."
>>>"Our last football game is Saturday. Can I stand on the sidelines
>>>screaming cheers?"
>>>
>>>Dr. Green smiled. "Let me think about it. Hopefully you can go
>>>home on Wednesday."
>>>
>>> "Thank you, doctor."
>>>Before the doctor left the room Jennifer reached for one of the
>>>books on her table. "Are you reading that play for school?"
>>>
>>> "No. This is my own reading."
>>>
>>> "You like Shakespeare?"
>>>
>>> "Sure. He's exciting."
>>>
>>>The doctor nodded. His thoughts about Jennifer not suffering
>>>brain damage from the accident were almost confirmed. "Enjoy your
>>>reading, Jennifer."
>>>
>>>After school on Monday Chavy and Toby took the bus with
>>>Pessi. Pessi never took this bus before. She always ran home
>>>thinking it would take too long with all the stops the bus had to make.
>>>Toby was pleasantly surprised to find Pessi a fun girl. She
>>>talked with them about current events, different classes, and the
>>>upcoming Hanukkah party.
>>>Outside the Goldberg house Pessi started apologizing for the
>>>rundown dwelling. Toby smiled. "Don't be ridiculous,
>>>Pessi. None of us lives in a palace."
>>>Inside Chavy immediately headed for Mrs. Goldberg's sofa. "Hi,
>>>Mrs. Goldberg. It's so nice to see you again."
>>>
>>> "It's good to see you also. Pessi's hair is gorgeous. Thank you."
>>>
>>>Toby wondered, "When did Chavy become a hairdresser?"
>>>Chavy continued, "Mrs. Goldberg, this is my friend Toby
>>>Teitelbaum. She's going to be coming here with me to help Pessi."
>>>Mrs. Goldberg's smile could have lit up the house. "It's a
>>>pleasure to meet you, Toby. Your mother is one of the special
>>>ladies who visit me every week. I feel terrible that the
>>>responsibility for everything has fallen on Pessi's
>>>shoulders. She needs more time to be a teenager. Thank you so
>>>much for helping."
>>>Pessi blushed. Why did her mother insist on embarrassing
>>>her? "Mommy, stop making me sound like something I'm
>>>not. Everything I'm doing I do because I love you. Stop feeling guilty!"
>>>Chavy was shocked at Pessi's outburst. She took charge, handed
>>>Pessi the picture frame, and told her to fit family photographs
>>>into it. Pessi thanked her. She gazed at the frame trying to
>>>imagine it with their old family pictures from better times placed
>>>in the mat. She would begin working on it later. Perhaps her
>>>mother would enjoy creating the collage.
>>>Chavy announced, "I'll do the kitchen with Pessi. Toby, can you
>>>vacuum the rugs in the dining room and bedrooms?"
>>>"No problem."
>>>Alone with Pessi Chavy said, "I figure I can clean while you make
>>>dinner. How about it?"
>>>"I just want to throw a load in the washer. Be right up."
>>>By the time Rabbi Levy beeped his horn the Goldberg house was
>>>starting to shine.
>>>After they dropped Toby off Chavy said, "Tatty, I have to pick
>>>something up for school in the grocery store. Can we stop there?"
>>>
>>>The Rabbi nodded. Chavy ran into the store and returned a few
>>>minutes later carrying a small bag.
>>>Seeing the tiny parcel her father asked, "What did you have to get?"
>>>"I noticed the silver in the Goldberg china cabinet is tarnished
>>>so I bought polish to spruce it up. Toby and I are going there
>>>Mondays through Thursday. This should take some of the pressure off Pessi."
>>>
>>>Jennifer's CAT scan Tuesday morning revealed there was indeed no
>>>brain damage. The doctor reiterated he wanted her to remain in
>>>the hospital until the following morning for observation. Sheila
>>>was busy with the kids, Randy had school, her roommate Cindy
>>>called her a few times, and none of her classmates were going to
>>>go out of their way to go to the hospital. So Jennifer was
>>>alone with Shakespeare, text books, and thoughts. She knew if her
>>>mother allowed her to stay she would be dead. But besides Sheila
>>>and Randy, who would care? Jennifer knew she would be happier in
>>>a place where she didn't have to worry about love, bigoted remarks
>>>and loneliness. Yes, being dead would be a lot better than the
>>>life she had to live. She reached for Shakespeare again.
>>>She could hardly wait to get home and back to her sewing
>>>machine. But she derived enjoyment from her craft, not happiness.
>>>
>>>Before dinner Pessi approached her mother. "Mommy, I volunteered
>>>to bake a cake for the school Hanukkah party. Is that all right?"
>>>"I'm thrilled that you are taking part in the party. Before you
>>>start bring me my cook books so we can pick out a delicious recipe."
>>>"Do you want a tray here or should I help you to the table?"
>>>"I'm not hungry now. Perhaps later I'll eat something. Now go and
>>>enjoy your dinner."
>>>Pessi knew that "later" would never come. This was a nice way of
>>>refusing to eat for the second day in a row. Each morning Pessi
>>>put out a breakfast tray for her mother, but when she got home she
>>>found most of the food in the garbage. Her father served her
>>>lunch, but often admitted very little was gone from the lunch tray
>>>also. With her serious illness could she survive by eating
>>>nothing? Pessi turned her attention back to serving dinner, but
>>>these worries lingered.
>>>
>>>The next morning Pessi came in to the sound of the ringing late
>>>bell as usual. This uncommon entrance was still a mystery to her
>>>classmates. For whatever reason her new friendship with Chavy Levy
>>>validated her strange behavior. The girls assumed Chavy knew the
>>>reasons, but had been asked not to tell anyone.
>>>Every morning Pessi showered and dressed before preparing
>>>breakfast for the younger kids. That done, she hurried to her
>>>mother's room, assisted her in getting out of bed, washed, dressed
>>>and ready for the day. She served her coffee and
>>>breakfast. After this routine she quickly ate her own breakfast
>>>and ran to school as soon as her father returned from morning services.
>>>The community made arrangements for at least two ladies to visit
>>>Mrs. Goldberg each day. Bassie Levy's visiting partner was busy
>>>on this Tuesday so she stopped at the bakery to pick up some
>>>pastries and juice before going to visit her friend. Upon
>>>entering the house she immediately saw the improvements in the
>>>room. "Shayna, this place is looking so nice."
>>> "Thank you, Bassie. I appreciate you giving the curtains and
>>> pictures to Pessi."
>>> "My pleasure. How do you feel?"
>>> "My husband just increased my pain medication. It's getting
>>> more difficult to cope with, but a big part of the pain is
>>> gone. Bassie, have you any idea how much of a difference your
>>> daughter has made in our lives?"
>>>Bassie felt herself blush. "I just know Chavy is very impressed
>>>with Pessi and your family. I know she comes here every
>>>afternoon, but after dinner she's on the phone with your daughter
>>>while doing her homework. Shayna, your daughter is an absolute
>>>beauty. When I saw her after the haircut the other night I could
>>>see instantly that she's a duplicate of her mother. With Pessi as
>>>her friend my daughter seems happier, does her homework more
>>>willingly leaving her less time to harass her brother. Shayna, I
>>>should be the one thanking you." The two ladies laughed, and
>>>Bassie carried in the tray with Shayna's snack.
>>>
>>>The gaunt woman with the sunken cheeks and sallow complexion
>>>smiled at her friend. The only things about Shayna Bassie
>>>recognized from before were her winning smile and pretty, albeit
>>>frail, voice. "Thank you, Bassie. This looks so good."
>>> "Then don't spend time admiring it, but start eating it."
>>> "I'm not hungry right now. Perhaps later I'll have a better
>>> appetite." Both of them understood this answer to be nothing more
>>> than a polite excuse.
>>> "Shayna, I feel so bad. I mentioned my daughter a lot over the
>>> past few months when there were other ladies here, but you never
>>> mentioned Pessi. Why didn't you talk about your daughter?"
>>> "Pessi felt self conscious about our poverty and my illness. She
>>> figured if anyone knew about her family they would befriend her
>>> out of pity, and not for herself. My daughter didn't want anyone
>>> knowing who her father is. She didn't need anyone pretending to
>>> like her because she has a well-known father. With Chavy's
>>> friendship and help my daughter is happier than I've seen her in ages."
>>>The billowing silence hung heavily over the room before Shayna
>>>continued. "All of us know what the doctor meant when he decided
>>>to end my treatments. I know I won't be here to see my daughter
>>>graduate, but seeing her these past few days has made me feel like
>>>I have more energy, and a greater ability to smile. Ever since I
>>>got sick Pessi has withdrawn from the world of other girls, and
>>>devoted herself exclusively to me and the family. Bassie, if I
>>>have to leave this world tomorrow at least I'll go knowing my
>>>daughter has a bright future in front of her."
>>>She reached for a tissue trying to hide the tears, but Bassie's
>>>tears ran down her cheeks.
>>>Bassie put an arm around Shayna. "Shayna, we can never give
>>>up. Pessi is doing well, but we can't stop concentrating on
>>>making you better. All of us are praying for your recovery every
>>>chance we get." Shayna started nibbling on a pastry.
>>>Bassie stayed a few minutes longer before kissing Shayna good
>>>by. She hoped and prayed her friend would recover, but had an
>>>awful feeling that she wouldn't.
>>>
>>>Miriam and Ruthie noticed Chavy and Toby taking the bus with Pessi
>>>for the second day in a row. Miriam had to give her conjecture as
>>>to why the most popular girl in the school, and the head of Chesed
>>>were doing this. "Ruthie, the only reason I can come up with is
>>>that Pessi lives in a real dump so Toby and Chavy are going there
>>>to make it more livable. The problem is it's against school rules
>>>to have Chesed go to the same house more than once a week. Is her
>>>family using Chesed as cleaning ladies?"
>>>They boarded their bus convinced Pessi's family was using Chesed
>>>in a way that was against the rules.
>>>When Chavy and Toby arrived at the Goldbergs after school Chavy
>>>glanced at the china cabinet with the tarnished silver. "Toby,
>>>want to wash what I polish?"
>>>
>>>"Sure."
>>>Watching from her sofa Mrs. Goldberg smiled thinking that her
>>>house could once again look decent. She couldn't believe what
>>>these girls were doing for her daughter and family. Once done
>>>with the silver they washed all the decorative pieces that adorned
>>>the cabinet. Chavy and Toby stepped back to admire their work.
>>>When Pessi came up carrying the last load of laundry she heard her
>>>mother say, "That china closet looks fantastic! I almost forgot
>>>how nice our things could look."
>>>Pessi saw the pretty cabinet with the newly cleaned and polished
>>>items. "Thank you so much. You did a fabulous job. For once I'm
>>>caught up with laundry before Friday."
>>>The completed Goldberg family composite Pessi and her mother put
>>>together the previous night caught Chavy's eye. "That family
>>>collage is wonderful. Those pictures of you as a little kid are adorable."
>>>"Thanks, Chavy. My mother loves it. It brings back beautiful
>>>memories." Pessi noticed a picture of her mother years ago with
>>>her two older brothers. The elegant woman, so straight and tall
>>>with a face that looked like Pessi's, didn't begin to resemble the
>>>woman she now called Mommy. The memories were great, but also
>>>sad. It hurt to realize this woman had disappeared.
>>>
>>>Dr. Green discharged Jennifer on Wednesday morning. "Don't forget
>>>to make an appointment in a month. Also, if you start feeling
>>>anything out of the ordinary I want to be called immediately. I
>>>mean that, Jennifer, immediately. For now go home, relax, and
>>>don't go back to school until Monday at the earliest. I remember
>>>you mentioning the football game. You can go if you stand on the
>>>sidelines. No gymnastics, dancing or anything else that is
>>>strenuous. I'll see you next month." Jennifer happily left the
>>>hospital with Sheila.
>>>On Friday the older girls didn't have school because they went on
>>>Sunday. Mrs. Goldberg told Pessi, "If I sit in a chair I can peel
>>>the potatoes for you. If you give me the soup vegetables I can
>>>make the soup so all you have to do is fill the pot with
>>>water. Let me sit with a garbage can, peeler, knife, and you do the cooking."
>>>"Mommy, I don't want you using the strength."
>>>"Its no big deal, but very odd. They gave up my chemo because
>>>they claimed there's no hope for me, but I'm starting to feel
>>>stronger. Whatever the case, as long as I have the energy I'll use
>>>it. Now help me to the kitchen chair." Pessi brought her mother
>>>to the dinette, and Mrs. Goldberg prepared all the vegetables for
>>>Shabbos. It amazed Pessi when she finished her work in half the time.
>>>"Thank you, Mommy. It took less time than usual."
>>>The next morning Pessi dressed in one of the outfits and shoes
>>>from Chavy. She wished her mother good Shabbos before leaving for
>>>her father's synagogue. It felt so good to get dressed in normal,
>>>beautiful clothes. A part of her also wanted to see the
>>>expressions on Ruthie's and Miriam's faces when she entered the Shul.
>>>Pessi realized that for the first time in months her mother didn't
>>>badger her with complaints about her reclusive lifestyle. Yes,
>>>she had come out of her self constructed closet and into the world
>>>of the living. What her mother didn't know, and Pessi didn't want
>>>to tell her, is that the only two girls she had a relationship
>>>with were Chavy and Toby. She felt comfortable with that. At the
>>>synagogue she took a seat in the women's section, and opened her
>>>prayer book. When the services ended she prepared to leave. In
>>>the coatroom Ruthie and Miriam stared at her. She smiled at the
>>>two of them before going out into the cold, crisp November air.
>>>The yentas followed her out. Miriam observed, "I can't believe
>>>it! Someone must have taken her in, and bought her new
>>>clothes. With her new haircut, and those clothes, perhaps someone
>>>is showing our reject what it means to look like a normal
>>>person. Why does she wear those ugly shoes to school when she has
>>>those stylish ones in the closet? I guess you can take the reject
>>>away from the garbage, but can't take all the garbage away from
>>>the reject. Her coat should be declared illegal!" They laughed at
>>>Miriam's petty remarks, but this week Pessi didn't linger close
>>>enough to hear their reaction. She knew she looked
>>>terrific. Even the nasty remarks of the yentas couldn't dampen her spirits.
>>>When she got home she greeted her mother before going upstairs to
>>>change out of her good clothes. She would put them on later if
>>>she decided to go out. What a difference compared to last week!
>>>The girl who spent last Shabbos morning putting up her defenses
>>>against the world today came in singing. She went in the kitchen
>>>to prepare the salad. It shocked her to see a completed one on
>>>the counter! "Mommy! When did you do this?"
>>>
>>> "Suri helped me to the table, and brought me everything. Now
>>> all you have to do is set the table."
>>>Pessi kissed her mother before getting the silverware.
>>>After the meal Pessi asked permission to go to Chavy's house. Her
>>>father quickly answered, "Go ahead, Pessi. Your brothers and I
>>>will take care of Sudat shlishit. Have a good time."
>>>Pessi dressed in the same outfit and black shoes she wore that
>>>morning, spending extra time doing her luxurious black hair. She
>>>looked good despite the ragged coat she would be putting on in a
>>>few minutes. In the dining room her mother remarked, "You look
>>>spectacular, dear. Have a good time."
>>>Pessi made her way leisurely under the brilliant November sun. It
>>>had been ages since she went out on a Shabbos or any other day
>>>just to have fun.
>>>Ambling down Chavy's block she spotted a little girl with red hair
>>>standing on her front porch watching the world go by. As Pessi
>>>neared Chavy's house the child ran up to her asking, "Do you know Chavy Levy?"
>>>A surprised Pessi answered, "Yes, I do. Why?"
>>>In a serious voice Chaya Kravitz started, "She's the meanest girl
>>>in the world. I don't think nice people should be her friends."
>>> "Chavy is a nice person, and my friend. I think little girls
>>> should find something better to do with their time than gossip
>>> about older girls. Good Shabbos."
>>>When Pessi knocked on the Levy door Chumy answered. "Good
>>>Shabbos, Pessi. Come on in."
>>>Chumy called her sister at the same time Yigal passed them on his
>>>way out. "Pessi, just teach my sister to be a doll like
>>>you! There's only so much a guy can be expected to take!" Pessi
>>>blushed, and Yigal left the house.
>>>Chavy greeted her friend. "You're just in time. I'm picking up
>>>Shayna. We were going to pick you up for B'nos, but you beat us to
>>>it. Want to go?"
>>>"Sure. Who's speaking?"
>>> "Mrs. Newman. They're also serving a delicious dessert buffet
>>> after. This is where all my weight comes in. You're so skinny it
>>> doesn't matter what you eat. Some people have all the luck!"
>>>
>>>Pessi told Chavy about her encounter with the curly topped red
>>>headed child. Chavy's face blazed with anger. "Chaya Kravitz is
>>>trouble. I've known her since the day she was born, and spent
>>>many afternoons dragging her back to a worried mother who didn't
>>>have a clue about her whereabouts. Chaya blames me for all the
>>>trouble she gets into, but no one can convince her that if she
>>>didn't do something wrong to begin with nothing I do would make a
>>>difference. Don't worry about Chaya Kravitz. Luckily she's not
>>>our problem." The three of them headed for B'nos leaving Chaya
>>>Kravitz eyeing them from down the block.
>>>That afternoon Mrs. Newman shared her insight on the topic of
>>>chesed. As if responding to the actions of the past week the
>>>principal mentioned in her description, "Girls, many of you may
>>>think that when going on a Chesed assignment you are doing
>>>something nice for someone else. The truth is that you are, but
>>>in return you're getting something greater back. While giving to
>>>others you will find yourself in many situations where you take
>>>away incomparable experiences with people that can't be taught on
>>>a university campus. Over the years I've seen situations where
>>>Chesed girls go to people's homes and come out with a good friend
>>>for life, the knowledge of something they would have never learned
>>>if not for the people they started out helping and more
>>>understanding of the world in general. Chesed is not a school
>>>requirement just because people need help, but we want our girls
>>>to learn that there is a big world out there. Where ever you end
>>>up we want you to know you have the
>>> ability to make a difference."
>>>During Mrs. Newman's weekly visit to Mrs. Goldberg Shayna raved
>>>about the girls who came four days a week to help her family and
>>>were instrumental in bringing her beautiful daughter into the
>>>world of teenage life. Until that discussion Mrs. Newman had been
>>>unaware of this project and smiled listening to Shayna Goldberg
>>>tell of her students' activities.
>>>She simply responded, "Shayna, I love my job because my girls make
>>>it easy to love. I'm glad they are helping out Pessi. She's a
>>>lovely girl and deserves the help."
>>>Going through Pessi's mind were the questions, "Can anyone learn
>>>anything from helping my family? What can girls learn from a
>>>dying mother and dire poverty?"
>>>She had a feeling Mrs. Newman was referring to Chavy and Toby
>>>going to the Goldbergs' four days a week, but wondered what she
>>>was talking about when she implied that when helping a family like
>>>hers someone could come away with knowledge they wouldn't
>>>otherwise have. Her mother mentioned the other day that Mrs.
>>>Newman visited and she told the principal about what her Chesed
>>>girls were doing, but Pessi still couldn't understand anything of
>>>value Chavy or Toby could take away with them.
>>>Going through Chavy's mind was the question, "How can she begin to
>>>know what helping the Goldbergs has contributed to our lives
>>>forever?" Chavy knew she would never look at anything the same again.
>>>On the way out of school Chavy asked, "Pessi, Want to come over
>>>for sudat shlishit?"
>>>"Yes. My father told me the boys would take care of it at my house."
>>>"Perhaps your brothers would tell my brothers how to do it. Yigal
>>>is still complaining about having to make tuna salad and drying
>>>dishes last week. Those guys are worthless! "
>>>
>>>Jennifer spent a lot of time that morning putting makeup over her
>>>healing bruises. Once that was done she put on her cheerleader's
>>>uniform, and headed for the field. On Jennifer's way out Sheila
>>>voiced her opinion. "I don't think you should be going out so soon
>>>after the accident."
>>>
>>>"Sheila, I'm fine. I'm a big girl and can take care of
>>>myself. Stop worrying!" With that she left the house.
>>>
>>>She stood on the sidelines helping the cheerleaders inspire the
>>>crowd with their enthusiastic cheers. A few of the girls came up
>>>to her to inquire about the accident. Some of the guys welcomed
>>>her back while others couldn't resist commenting about the bruises on her face.
>>>Jack, one of the guys on the team, strode up to her during half
>>>time. "Jennifer, I'm sorry that your beautiful Jewish face had to
>>>suffer. Maybe there's a Jewish prayer that will help it heal
>>>faster." Holding the hand of another cheerleader he continued
>>>through the club house laughing.
>>>She stared after him wondering about his comment. Did Jews
>>>pray? Just another Saturday at the football field.
>>>When she got home she heard Sheila on the phone. "Hold on a
>>>minute. She just came in." Jennifer took the phone.
>>> "Hi, Jennifer. It's Randy. I just got a call telling me that
>>> the other team lost. The trophy is ours!"
>>>
>>> "Congratulations, Randy! I know how hard you worked for this."
>>>
>>> "The dance tonight will be our victory party. Will you go with me?"
>>>
>>> "Randy, we've been through this. Enjoy the party. You deserve it."
>>>Jennifer knew that Randy felt things for her that were probably
>>>indicative of teenage love. But Jennifer didn't know how to
>>>love. She liked Randy a lot, and couldn't mislead him into
>>>thinking that her feelings could be more serious than close
>>>friendship. She changed out of her uniform and ran downstairs to
>>>her sewing machine.
>>>_______________________________________________
>>>Writers Division web site:
>>>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
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>>>
>>>
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