[stylist] Need feedback. Do you find yourself absorbed in this?

[helene ryles]

Sorry but no. It's not really my genre. Hopefully someone else will like it.

Helene


On 30/10/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
> Here's a sample chapter from my novel, "The Letter."  I need to know if the
> reader finds themselves becoming absorbed in it.  Can you identify a hook in
> it?  Thanks!  Judith
>
> CHAPTER Two
>
>
>
> The Same morning in Jenna, New York
>
> On this overcast morning Pessi quietly came up behind two schoolmates after
> Sabbath services.  She heard Miriam say to Ruthie, "Can you believe she goes
> in public looking so disgusting?  Her coat is a reject from a charity sale.
> Those shoes haven't been seen since the Revolutionary War! Her hair is a
> nesting place for rats with bad taste.  Nothing in the coatroom stood out
> like the moth holes in her coat!  Gross!  I hear she has a family, but no
> one with any self-respect has claimed her.
>
> "Oh well, I have to get home.  Rabbi Goldberg is speaking this afternoon.
> Want to go?"
>
> Ruthy stopped laughing to answer her friend. "Sure.  Everyone goes to hear
> Rabbi Goldberg."
>
> "Great.  I'll pick you up after lunch."
>
> Engrossed in their conversation Pessi didn't think Ruthy and Miriam noticed
> her.  Pessi had to smile at their creative comments.  She knew very well how
> she looked, but circumstances did this to a person.  Could girls like Ruthy
> and Miriam ever understand there were more important things in a girl's life
> than clothes and beauticians?
>
> Under the overcast November sky Chavy Levy headed home from the synagogue
> her parents attended for years.  The most popular girl in her class, Chavy
> had only three problems.  She had to lose 10 pounds, her older brother Yigal
> had to be the most obnoxious person in the world to live with, and she hated
> math.  She couldn't figure out why she had to be in a class which had
> nothing to do with her future.  She had no idea what she would be doing
> after graduation, but becoming a math teacher wasn't an option!  Still, she
> had to pass or her parents would have a fit.  While strolling along on this
> Shabbos morning she admired her surroundings where the men wore traditional
> hats and younger boys donned skullcaps appropriate for children.  Chavy
> tossed her shining brown hair over her shoulder, and gave her attention to
> the passers by. Women walked with husbands, children or with friends. All
> wore clothing reflecting the special day.  This afternoon Chavy and her
> friends planned to go to the B'nos group or club for girls which met every
> Shabbos afternoon to hear Rabbi Goldberg, the most popular lecturer in the
> series.  Chavy honestly believed her class to be the greatest.  They all got
> along while having a ball working together except for Pessi Goldberg who
> didn't talk to anyone.
>
> At home her mother met her with the traditional Sabbath greeting.  "Good
> Shabbos, Chavy."
>
> "Good Shabbos, Mommy.  What can I do to help?"
>
> "Can you finish this salad so I can get dressed?"
>
> After entering her house Pessi greeted her mother who had remarked that
> morning, "Pessi, you have to become involved with the girls at school.  I
> know many of their mothers, and they are wonderful people."
>
> Pessi told her, "Some of them are probably very nice and the rest are not my
> type.  I have the right to be alone if this is the way I choose to live my
> life."
>
> Her mother rebuked, "It isn't normal for a sixteen year old girl to exist
> only for homework and her family.  You are a beautiful girl with a lot to
> offer others.  You must make an effort to make friends with the girls at
> school.  Now you have to get to Shul.  Do you want to put your hair in a
> bun?"
>
> "Mommy, I've told you before my hair is too thick for a bun.  One of these
> days I'll get it cut."
>
> "Pessi, all I'm asking you to do is try."
>
> "Good Shabbos, Mommy." She had put on her ugly coat and headed for her
> father's synagogue.  She would ignore her mother's prodding.  She preferred
> being alone and running her life her way.
>
> Mrs. Levy returned to the kitchen where her daughter stood finishing the
> salad.  A few minutes later   the family sat down to their Shabbos meal.
>
> The legendary arguments between Chavy and her brother Yigal started almost
> immediately.  "Chavy, where's the grape juice?"
>
> "On the door in the fridge."
>
> "Why isn't it on the table?  You know I can't start my meal without it."
> Yigal needed the drink to say the required prayer over wine or grape juice
> before his Shabbos meal.
>
> "Go and get it.  The bottle isn't heavy."
>
> Their father boomed, "I've had enough from the two of you!  You can both
> bring the juice to the table."  They glanced at each other before getting
> up.  The Rabbi continued, "When you get back I don't want either of you
> saying a word.  Obviously you're not mature enough to talk decently to
> anyone."
>
> Done straightening up after the meal Chavy and Chumy got ready for B'nos.
> Yigal told his sister, "You better be home for sudat shlishit.  You're the
> only one who can prepare the third Sabbath meal so well."
>
> "It would serve you right if I couldn't be here. Then you'll be forced to
> make it yourself!"
>
> "I can't even compliment you without some smart answer.  O.K.  Don't come
> home to make your horrid food.  We'll live longer without it!"
>
> "All right, Yigal.  I won't be here.  I'm sure I can find a place where
> they'll take me in."
>
> "Don't bet on it, Chavy.  It obviously takes a strong person like me to put
> up with you."
>
> At the door to the school Chavy heard two tenth graders, Miriam and Ruthy,
> behind her.  Miriam said, "Do you think the reject with the rat's nest on
> her head wearing her home for displaced moths will show up?"
>
> Her equally cruel friend answered, "I don't think she would have the nerve
> to socialize with civilized society.  B'nos isn't a place for outcasts."
>
> Chavy's temper flared at the remarks of these petty children.  She threw
> them a dirty look.  "Don't you have anything else to talk about?  What
> bothers you about a girl you don't know?  Life contains a lot of hard
> lessons.  Someday you're going to find that out."  The two girls returned
> her dirty look before going to hang up their coats.
>
> Chavy entered the school auditorium, already half full for the Rabbi's
> lecture.  To her surprise Pessi sat alone in the back.  She saw the
> overgrown hair, ugly shoes, and sad eyes.  Chavy wondered about this girl
> who arrived at school just as the bell rang and always left when the first
> dismissal bell sounded without a word to anyone.  During lunch she sat with
> her Psalm book saying nothing to any of the girls.  Gossips like Miriam and
> Ruthy entertained themselves with Pessi Goldberg jokes, but most girls tried
> to get Pessi involved with the mainstream student body.  When it was obvious
> they failed, the feeling became pity.
>
> Now Chavy observed the brunt of jokes by the narrow minds, and object of
> pity for most of the girls feeling bewildered.  Well, the bewilderment had
> to stop and once and for all she had to make contact with this mysterious
> girl.  She never remembered seeing Pessi before on Shabbos.  The contrast
> between Pessi's clothes and the others was glaring.  While most girls wore
> nice Shabbos clothes, Pessi wore a simple skirt and sweater appropriate for
> the weekday.  Pessi sat there reading the same Psalm book she read all week.
>  She knew the time had come to jump over Pessi's self constructed barrier.
>
> With fortified convictions she approached her classmate.  "Good Shabbos,
> Pessi.  How are you?"
>
> "Good Shabbos, Chavy.  I'm waiting for Rabbi Goldberg.  I need some of the
> emotional support he always gives."  Pessi returned to her book, signaling
> the end of the conversation.    Chavy never remembered Pessi communicating
> more than a cursory greeting until now.
>
> Determined to help her classmate Chavy said, "Pessi, come sit with the
> class."
>
> Pessi raised her clear blue eyes.  "I have nothing in common with those
> girls.  I'm fine right here."  She lowered her eyes to her book, again
> conveying the end of the conversation.
>
> Though an assertive girl who always managed to control any situation she
> found herself in, Chavy felt intimidated by Pessi who exhibited a certain
> inner strength she couldn't match.   Baffled, she sat down near the girl,
> trying to think of what she could say to at least entice her to join the
> group.  "Pessi, you're a nice girl.  From the way you say Tehillim, Psalms,
> you're also very religious.  You have a lot in common with all of us, but
> you don't talk to anyone."
>
> "My life is different. I have nothing in common with any of you."  Pessi
> returned her attention to her book.
>
> Chavy stared at the girl absorbed in her Psalm book.  Pessi could be very
> pretty if she had a hair cut and wore nicer clothes.  Her eyes seemed sad.
> Witnessing the actions of an obvious loner, Chavy wondered what lay under
> this façade.
>
> Both girls were sixteen, but Pessi had never been to a school social event,
> a class birthday party or some one else's house for Shabbos.
>
> She had to try one more time.  "Pessi, we want to be your friend.  Please
> come sit with us."
>
> "Chavy, I don't have time to get involved with the girls.  I'm here for the
> Rabbi's lecture, and have to go after he's finished.  I can't stay for
> refreshments."
>
> "Pessi, all I'm asking you to do is sit with us.  If you want I can go home
> with you afterwards to help you.  I already told my brother I'm not coming
> back to make Sudat shlishit for him.  I don't feel like it.  How about it?
> Come sit with us, stay for refreshments, and I'll go back to help you with
> whatever you have to do."
>
> In a soft voice she answered, "I don't want to impose."
>
> The well-rehearsed Chavy immediately shot back, "I don't want to go back to
> my brothers today.  I'll go home with you and call my father after Shabbos
> to pick me up."
>
> Chavy was good.  Pessi felt herself giving in.    She smiled for the first
> time.         "All right, Chavy.  Let's go sit with the others."  The two
> girls reached the front of the auditorium just as Rabbi Goldberg started
> towards the podium.  All the girls stood respectfully until the Rabbi
> reached the lectern.
>
> The audience turned their undivided attention to Rabbi Goldberg, but no one
> turned greater concentration to the speaker than Pessi.
>
> Today the theme of the lecture encompassed the difficult things confronted
> by people, and how individuals should perceive challenging situations.  The
> Rabbi hoped his message wouldn't be transparent to his young audience.
>
> "If someone isn't well we perceive that as unfortunate.  It is terrible to
> see someone suffer with illness.  As Jewish people we're told to say Psalms
> with the hope they recover.  But what happens if they don't recover?  What
> happens if we said our Tehillim, and they pass away, Heaven forbid, anyway?
> Should we think our prayers weren't answered?  No."  The Rabbi looked
> straight at Pessi. "It has nothing to do with us.  Let me try to bring it
> down to a more comprehensible level.
>
> "Let's say I bring to one of you high school girls a blueprint from the best
> architect in the country.  He has drawn plans for the biggest, best building
> this country has ever seen.  You are high school girls and, to the best of
> my knowledge, none of you ever studied architecture."
>
> The girls giggled and he continued.  "So, I go to your desk, put down the
> drawing and ask what you think of it.  What are you supposed to say?  You
> have no idea how to evaluate such diagrams."  The girls sat mesmerized by
> the Rabbi's words. "Why are the heating pipes over there?  Why are there no
> windows on that wall?  Considering the best architect in the country drew
> the plan wouldn't it make sense he knew what he was doing?  The architect
> knew how different forces worked together to make the building a viable one.
>  You see girls, you have no right interpreting the architect's drawing or
> expressing an opinion.  Only someone of equal stature to the architect has
> that right.  If one of his peers asks why the windows are where they are
> after studying the plan he knows what he's talking about, but you girls
> don't.  You don't understand airflow or different infrastructures such as
> plumbing, heating, and electric.  You are in no position to judge the
> architect.
>
> "The Almighty is the architect of the world.  Only He knows if something is
> good or bad.  Because we are not on His level we cannot objectively judge
> what He does.  As with the blueprint, we can say the windows look better on
> the left rather than the right, but the architect knows about the airflow in
> the building, and how the other infrastructures will work together.  We
> don't know architecture or understand the blueprint of the world.  But as
> the customer trusts the architect, we trust the Almighty because only He
> knows what is best."
>
> Pessi understood the Rabbi's words, and turned closer attention to him with
> tears streaming down her face.  Chavy wondered about her reaction.
>
>   "We can say we're saying Tehillim for the sick and, Heaven forbid, they
> pass away.  Weren't our prayers good enough?  We know they were, but what
> the Almighty knows is good is not always what we think of as acceptable.  In
> the end we don't even know how to judge good as it pertains to individual
> situations.  In short, girls, there are no answers, but we can just do what
> we have control over.  If someone is sick, and we say Tehillim it is right.
> Why?  Because it certainly won't hurt, and we know it to be a great help in
> any situation.  Is it a guarantee?  Certainly not.  There aren't any
> guarantees.  We have to place perfect faith in the Almighty because He's our
> Father in heaven, and well aware of the total plan for this world.  We know
> our Father in heaven doesn't intentionally hurt his children."
>
> Chavy noticed the Rabbi speaking directly to Pessi who continued crying.
> She wondered why the other kids couldn't see the sparks flying between the
> two.  Chavy didn't wonder why the Rabbi addressed Pessi.  Evidently he knew
> the family, and understood whatever haunted this girl.  If only Chavy knew
> the problem perhaps there would be something she could do.
>
> The Rabbi continued, "We know the Almighty wants us to do everything with
> joy because He wants us all to be happy as a father wants his children to be
> happy.  Every day we all ask for many different things from our Father in
> Heaven as we try our best to please Him as a child tries to please a father.
>  This is the reason our lives are spent learning Torah or the Five Books of
> Moses, and performing the Mitzvahs, religious obligations, commanded us in
> this precious gift He gave us.  Our responsibility is to show our Father we
> love Him as we carry out His commandments with our heartfelt joy.  Before I
> leave I want each of you to take your Tehillim book and say two Psalms for
> each of these people who are not well.  Hopefully, our prayers will be heard
> and these people will be granted a speedy and complete recovery."  He read
> three names using the Hebrew name of the person followed by the Hebrew name
> of their mother.  Pessi blinked back tears and opened the book.  A short
> while later the Rabbi said, "Good Shabbos, girls" indicating the end of the
> lecture.
>
> The girls headed for the lunchroom where a beautiful dessert buffet awaited
> them. Standing next to Chavy Pessi said, "I have a question for the Rabbi.
> Be right back."
>
> Chavy found herself drawn to the dessert buffet, envying all the calories
> she didn't need.  She spotted fruit on the other table and reluctantly took
> a plate of the colorful, but less fattening food.
>
> Chavy's friend Shayna came up to her with a plate stacked with delectable
> goodies.  "Chavy, are you the party pooper?  How can you eat fruit with all
> this gorgeous stuff staring you in the face?"
>
> "Shayna, when most of your clothes don't fit, we can open a second-hand
> store.  Until then you can eat your calories and I'll try to like this
> stuff."
>
> Shayna laughed, and returned to other friends.
>
> Chavy glanced at Pessi talking to Rabbi Goldberg.  She must have had a
> simple question.  She spent only a minute with the Rabbi before returning to
> Chavy.
>
> Pessi picked up a pastry.  "These pastries are great!"
>
> "You're so skinny you could probably eat the whole table and never show it.
> I have weight to lose so I stick to fruit.  Have some, it's good."
>
> Pessi laughed, reaching for another pastry.
>
> "Chavy, I have to go soon.  My mother isn't well."
>
> "No problem, I can eat only so much fruit."
>
> In one corner of the room Miriam and Ruthy stood with a few of their friends
> never taking their eyes off Pessi Goldberg talking to Chavy Levy.  Chavy saw
> them and could only imagine the venom they spewed.  She wanted to confront
> them, but turned her attention back to Pessi.
>
>
>
> When they finished eating Pessi and Chavy headed for the coat room.
>
> Pessi wondered if she was making the right move.  How come she decided to
> leave the school with Chavy today?  Was she proving that despite her strong
> resolve she needed someone?  Absolutely not!  Probably by Monday Chavy would
> be totally bored with her and both of them would return to their own corner
> of the world.  That would be all the proof she needed to demonstrate that
> she didn't need anyone else in her life.
>
> Pessi lived some distance from the school.  On the streets they traveled
> Chavy didn't see any of the sights she associated with Shabbos afternoon in
> her neighborhood.
>
> Pessi clung to her pride, still not completely sure about letting another
> girl into her life.  Pessi glanced at Chavy's beautiful gray wool coat with
> black velvet collar and cuffs.  She remembered how it felt to be wearing
> such a fine garment, but that was in the past.
>
> Chavy felt Pessi's discomfort.  She tried chatting about school activities,
> upcoming tests and the weather.  Pessi wanted to discuss classes and course
> work.
>
> Chavy envied the ease with which she discussed topics such as math and
> chemistry.  She still believed Trigonometry to be an obscure planet, but in
> her soft voice Pessi discussed it with the ease Chavy spoke of her favorite
> foods.
>
> Fifteen minutes later they reached Pessi's house.  Like others in the
> neighborhood the small, run-down structure appeared as if it had seen better
> days.  Chavy didn't care.  Over the years she had been friends with girls
> from the biggest and best homes and others from houses like this.  She
> didn't choose her friends according to their zip codes.
>
> The two girls entered Pessi's dingy foyer.     Immediately a little boy ran
> to her exclaiming, "Good Shabbos, Pessi!"
>
> Pessi picked up the child and kissed him. "Moshe, did you take care of
> Mommy?"
>
> The little boy's expression turned serious. "Mommy read me a book."
>
> "I'm sure she enjoyed reading to you.  Let's go see her."
>
> On the sofa in the dining room lay Pessi's mother, a gaunt and obviously
> very ill woman.  Pessi gave her mother a kiss before stooping to pick up her
> blanket on the floor. She lovingly spread it over her.  "Good Shabbos,
> Mommy.  This is Chavy Levy from school.  Tatty said she could come home with
> me."
>
>   Seeing Pessi with a friend made Shayna Goldberg's spirits soar.  "It's a
> pleasure to meet you, Chavy.  How are you?"
>
> Chavy hoped her shock didn't show.  The Rabbi was Pessi's father?    She
> recovered her composure and answered, "I'm fine, Mrs. Goldberg.  It's so
> nice to meet you."
>
> "How did Tatty's lecture go, Pessi?"
>
> A bell rang in Chavy's mind.  Whatever was in the Rabbi's speech today had
> been planned to address an issue in his daughter's life.  Gazing at the
> emaciated woman on the couch Chavy began to understand the message.
>
> Pessi's eyes darted from her mother to Chavy.  "Chavy didn't know my father
> is Rabbi Goldberg.  I never told anyone.  The lecture was one of the best he
> ever gave."
>
> "Why did you keep your father's relationship to you a secret?"
>
> "I feel better being a private person."
>
> "Even though people know who your father is, you can still be a private
> person.  Could you please set out sudat shlishit before Tatty gets home?"
>
> Pessi chose to ignore her mother's latest prelude to a fight.  "Sure.  I'll
> do it now."
>
> After arriving home Rabbi Goldberg greeted their guest before turning to his
> wife. "Shayna, can I help you to the table?"
>
> "I would like that, thank you."
>
> The Rabbi supported his wife the short distance from the sofa to the table.
> He then said, "Everybody can go and wash."
>
> Moshe brought a bowl and cup of water for his mother to ritually wash her
> hands.  Mrs. Goldberg was too weak to wash at the sink with everyone else.
>
> In the tiny kitchen with doors falling off the cabinets Chavy asked Pessi,
> "Can you come to my house after Shabbos if I help you clean up?  My father
> can pick us up."
>
> "I'll ask."  Back at the table the Rabbi said the blessing on the bread.
> They all took a bite from their roll and Pessi asked, "Tatty, Chavy wants to
> know if I can go to her house after Shabbos.  Can I?"
>
> Mrs. Goldberg immediately answered, "Go, dear.  It's good for you to get
> out." Chavy noticed how quickly the frail woman, barely nibbling on her
> roll, responded.
>
> Rabbi Goldberg added, "You can go if you have a ride home."
>
> "I'll ask my father, but it shouldn't be a problem."
>
> "In that case I give my permission.  Have a good time."
>
> Two teenage boys entered the house.  Pessi said, "Those are my brothers."
>
> Chavy glanced at the boys who were headed for the kitchen to wash in
> preparation for their meal.
>
>  Avi Goldberg heard his father say, "Chavy, your father and I are very close
> friends.  I know Rabbi Levy for many years.  How is he?"
>
> "He's doing well."
>
> "Please give him my regards."
>
> Avi Goldberg stifled his own laughter.  So Yigal Levy's sister was Pessi's
> new friend.  Why did Pessi pick up such a pain in the neck girl?  He heard
> all the complaints from his best friend, Yigal, about his sister.
>
> After a brief talk by the Rabbi on the week's Torah reading Chavy quietly
> said to Pessi, "I didn't know Rabbi Goldberg is your father.  Why did you
> keep it a secret?"
>
> Pessi thought about the giant plunge she had taken, wondering if she should
> share anything more about her life.  Seeing the sincere expression in
> Chavy's eyes she decided to confide more.  "Goldberg is a common name so
> nobody drew the conclusion we're even related.  I've heard the nasty
> comments from some of the girls about me and am fully aware of the fact that
> my being related to the Rabbi would mean little to them.  No one knows
> except you now.  I'm happy being anonymous."
>
> The two girls said the blessing after the meal before going into the
> dinette.
>
> Pessi started in a low voice.  "My mother has cancer.  She's getting chemo
> once a week, but her reports aren't good.  We moved to Jenna ten months ago
> to be closer to better hospitals.  My father used to have a big congregation
> and good job, but since moving here he hasn't been successful.  I wear
> weekday clothes on the Sabbath because my last Shabbos outfit doesn't fit.
>
> "I didn't want to get close to the girls at school.  After taking one look
> at me they didn't want that either.  I desperately need a haircut.  Brushing
> the animal nest on my head everyday after my shower doesn't make me look
> normal.  I overhear some of the girls gossiping about me and the way I look
> so have just worked harder to prove I don't need anyone."
>
> Chavy listened to Pessi with sympathy.
>
> "I'm so nervous about my mother that all I do is go to school, keep up this
> house, help my mother and family, and pray.  My father gave the speech today
> for me.  I love my mother and can't face what is happening.  I keep thinking
> if I do more for her she'll get better, but my father claims it is out of my
> hands."
>
> Chavy never met another sixteen-year- old confronting so many challenges.
> How did she do it?
>
> "You're the first girl I brought home from school since moving to Jenna.  My
> parents always say they want me to have friends, but I'm ashamed of our
> situation.  I prefer being alone with my problems rather than being the
> object of pity or ridicule.  This issue has been a source of conflict
> between my mother and me."
>
> "Pessi, if you hung up a few curtains with some pictures this place wouldn't
> be half bad."
>
> "We can't afford curtains, and don't have any pictures.  We had paintings
> where we lived before, but Tatty sold them for Mommy's medical care.  The
> drapes in the old house were custom made so we left them."
>
> "My mother has a closet full of curtains.  Every time she sees a curtain
> sale she replaces ours.  Also, I have some clothes I got too fat for.  I'll
> show them to you later.  Don't be ashamed.  None of us lives in a palace.
>
> "Also, there is Chesed at school.  As you know this group does community
> service.  They can come and help you out a few times a week.  I know the
> girl in charge of it. I'll discuss it with her tomorrow."
>
> "Don't talk to her, Chavy.  I'm ashamed.  My beautiful mother is so sick and
> looks terrible."
>
> "Don't be ashamed.  There's nothing wrong with you. When your mother
> recovers she'll look better."
>
> Pessi started crying, arousing Chavy's concern.  "Pessi, I didn't mean to
> upset you."
>
> "The doctors say now Mommy won't get any better.  They want to stop her
> therapy."
>
> Chavy put an arm around the shoulders of the sobbing girl.  From what little
> she understood about cancer she knew that when a doctor said a person
> wouldn't get any better and stopped the treatment it didn't mean they
> expected good news.
>
> "We all know it's the end.  My mother is happy you came over today.  She's
> been telling me for a long time I need to find friends.  I tried to ignore
> it because I have too much to do and don't want anyone to know how poor we
> are."
>
> "Don't worry about what the others think.  Tonight we're going to raid my
> mother's curtain closet.  Do you have any family pictures?"
>
> "Sure.  We used to take pictures all the time."
>
> "Great.  Tonight we're going hunting. Tomorrow after school we go to work."
> They smiled at each other.  Pessi had a friend for the first time in ages.
>
> Pessi had to admit having a confidant to support her through this crisis
> felt good.  Her parents had been right.  In spite of her strong resolve
> Pessi did need others to help her through this difficult time.
>
> Chavy called her father after they were done cleaning up.  He agreed to pick
> them up and bring Pessi back later.
>
> Chavy went to Mrs. Goldberg on her sofa.  "Thank you for a wonderful
> Shabbos, Mrs. Goldberg."
>
> "The pleasure is all ours, Chavy.  It's wonderful to see Pessi with a girl
> her age.  My little one, Suri, is at a friend's now, but Pessi is a
> wonderful girl who stays with me to do everything I should be doing around
> here.  I couldn't manage without her."
>
> "Mommy!  I told you I help you because I love you.  Don't make it sound like
> I'm something exceptional when I'm just doing what I want."
>
> Pessi turned and led the way to the foyer where they waited for Rabbi Levy.
>
>
> Back at Chavy's Yigal stood in the kitchen with a dishtowel over his arm.
> He glared at his sister.  "I'll get you for this, Chavy Levy!  This is cruel
> and unusual punishment! Mommy felt that since my mouth caused you to not
> come right home I deserved this horrible fate.  Our dear sister Chumy
> insisted I dry.  It should be illegal to have little sisters!"
>
> "Yigal, when you find yourself a good wife I'll help you pack your bags."
>
> Pessi joined the laughter unable to remember the last time she laughed from
> genuine happiness.
>
> Yigal turned to Chavy's friend.  "Is Avi Goldberg your brother?"
>
> Surprised, Pessi answered, "Yes.  Do you know him?"
>
> "Sure.  He's a great guy in my Yeshiva.  I tell him about my pain in the
> neck sister, but he says his sister is a doll.  Can you teach my sister to
> be a doll?"
>
> "My brothers look at me as a doll because we treat each other with respect.
> Respect works two ways."
>
> "Yigal, after you learn from the Goldberg boys how to treat a good sister
> perhaps Pessi can teach me a few things.  Until then, cut the complaining."
>
> Chumy said, "Back to work, Yigal.  Only a few dishes to go."  After giving
> Chavy another dirty look   Yigal returned to the kitchen.
>
>  Mrs. Levy came to greet Pessi.  Chavy asked, "Mommy, you know all those
> curtains you have hanging in the closet?"
>
> "Yes, dear.  Why?"
>
> "Can we go through them to choose some for Pessi's house?"
>
> "Sure.  I'm sure Mrs. Goldberg will enjoy them."
>
> Bassie visited Shayna Goldberg every week since the family moved to Jenna
> and they became good friends, but she knew the extent of her illness.  Last
> week she confided they were stopping treatment.  Everyone knew what that
> meant.
>
> Downstairs the girls started going through the closet.  In time they came
> back upstairs with curtains and a few paintings.  Mrs. Levy approved
> everything before the two headed upstairs to Chavy's room.
>
> Chavy smiled at Pessi.  "You're a very pretty girl.  All you need is a good
> haircut.  I cut Chumy's and some of my friend's hair all the time.  I enjoy
> doing it and they always come out of my bathroom looking great.  Can I do
> yours?"
>
> "If it's not too much trouble I'd love it.  I can't remember the last time I
> had a good haircut."
>
> In the upstairs bathroom Chavy shampooed Pessi's thick, luxurious black
> hair.  She took her scissors and began working her magic.  Once done she
> stood behind Pessi admiring the image in the mirror.  "Pessi, you have the
> darkest, thickest hair I ever saw.  You'll be the envy of every girl in the
> school."
>
> "When my hair is properly cut it's my best feature."
>
> "It isn't your best feature.  Those beautiful blue eyes with your dark hair
> are an unbeatable match."
>
> Pessi again admired her reflection in the mirror.  "This feels great!  I
> don't know how to thank you."
>
>  "Forget the thanks.  This is my pleasure."
>
> In the bedroom Chavy took two outfits which no longer fit from her closet.
> "Here are two good Shabbos outfits.  If they fit they're yours.  Here's a
> pair of black shoes I outgrew.  They're in perfect condition.  Want to try
> them on?"
>
> Pessi gazed at the lovely clothing.  Her jaw settled into the same stubborn
> line Chavy witnessed earlier. "Chavy, I can't accept this!"
>
> "Consider it logical closet cleaning.  If I hadn't eaten myself into the
> next size up I'd have nothing to offer you.  Do me a favor, try them on."
>
> Pessi thought about her pride in never accepting charity.  "I feel strange
> accepting these beautiful things.  I never took charity before."
>
> "This isn't charity.  Keeping these clothes in the closet hurts me every
> time I open the door to get my uniform.  I don't want to keep pushing the
> hangers that represent the way I used to be."
>
> Pessi took a long while to make up her mind.  How much could she change in
> one day?  Eventually she decided this didn't represent charity, but logic.
>  She took off her sweater and pulled on the top to a black and white outfit
> that matched the pretty black pumps.  The shoes fit perfectly.  Seeing her
> reflection in the mirror she couldn't believe the difference.  She hadn't
> looked this good in ages.  She tried on the other gray and pink wool outfit
> which also transformed her into a fashionable young woman.
>
> Chavy sighed.  "I wish I could be as skinny as you."
>
> "Don't be silly, Chavy.  You look fine the way you are!"
>
>  "That's very nice of you, but I can read a scale.  For now all I can do is
> find good friends to take my beautiful clothes off my hands."
>
> Pessi sat on one of the beds observing Chavy's attractive room with white
> walls and pretty blue plush carpet.  Pictures of Chavy and Chumy growing up
> hung around the room.  She turned back to Chavy.  "At first I believed that
> by Monday morning you would have gotten sick of me and my problems, and we
> would have both crept back into our own lives.  But I was wrong.  I know you
> aren't turned off at our run-down house or my beautiful mother who looks
> awful now.  I knew from the beginning you didn't take a look at my
> inappropriate clothes and figure they told my whole story.
>
> "I'm familiar with most of the girls.  Tatty learns the holy books with many
> of their fathers. A lot of their mothers visit mine.
>
> "If I didn't have to go straight home after school, I might be willing to
> make friends with the girls.  My mother has been trying to get me to do
> that.  We argue about it constantly. I have the right to run my own life,
> but she feels that I'm too much of a loner.   I love her, but this is one
> topic we don't agree on.  I'm just more comfortable being a hermit."
>
>  "Are you really comfortable like that?"
>
> "I don't know right now.  Let's see how it goes.  I can be social with the
> other girls at school, but our relationships will end at the school door."
>
> Chavy ignored her last statement.  "I want to get Chesed to go to help you
> in the house.  You need and deserve it.  I'll just say one of your parents
> isn't well so the responsibility for everything is on your shoulders."
>
> "In spite of our poverty, I'm a proud person and never took such generous
> charity."
>
> "It's not charity.  Chesed girls go out to help people all week long.  When
> getting help from our community service group no one has to divulge any
> private information about themselves.  They say they need the help for one
> reason or another and we send them girls."
>
> Pessi remained quiet for a long time.  Chavy started to think she was going
> to refuse her suggestion.
>
> "I could use the help.  Thank you."  For the first time in five years Pessi
> admitted needing anyone.  It shocked her to realize this big step felt
> mighty good.
>
> "Tomorrow in school I'll try to be more a part of the class.  I'll say my
> Tehillim, but will also try to talk to the other girls."
>
> "For the fall holidays we attended your father's Synagogue.  My mother
> mentioned our fathers were classmates in Yeshiva.  Did you know that?"
>
> "I know that our fathers know each other, but he never told me their
> relationship dated back to their days in school."
>
> Mrs. Levy knocked on the door.  "Girls, it's late.  Tatty can take Pessi
> home now."
>
> "I'll go with you, Pessi."  Chavy helped Pessi take everything out to the
> car.
>
> At home Pessi's mother lay on her couch and her father was studying the Holy
> books in his office.  When she entered the room Mrs. Goldberg stared at her
> in surprise.  "Pessi, you're beautiful! You haven't looked this good in
> years.  Who cut your hair?"
>
> "Chavy did it.  She cuts her sister Chumy's hair all the time.  How do you
> like it?" She turned around to give her mother the full effect.
>
> "I love it.  You must keep it up.  You have such beautiful hair."
>
> Her mother's eyes fell on the bags she carried.  "What do you have there?"
>
> "Mrs. Levy buys curtains every time she sees a sale so has lots of them in
> the basement.  She gave me some to try to make this place look better.
> Chavy also gave me a few paintings to spruce it up."
>
> Shayna sighed.  She hadn't done anything for her home in a long time.  "I'll
> get Avi and Yitzy to hang up rods and picture hooks tomorrow.  What else do
> you have?"
>
> "Chavy gained some weight so doesn't fit into a few of her outfits.  There's
> also a pair of shoes she outgrew.  I think they're real nice.  Look."
>
> Mrs. Goldberg admired the clothes and shoes. "They're all beautiful, Pessi.
> You'll look gorgeous.  Wear everything well, dear."  Pessi kissed her mother
> good night.
>
> Pessi headed to her room leaving Mrs. Goldberg stifling her smile until
> Pessi climbed the stairs.  Would Pessi use her friendship with Chavy to
> become involved with other girls?  Could Pessi finally realize that she was
> indeed a beautiful, intelligent and fun girl?  She knew Pessi had withdrawn
> from the world of other girls because of their poverty and her illness.  She
> would take her guilt to her grave.
> _______________________________________________
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