[stylist] Ruling on posting adult content

[Aziza Cano]

I think a devision for younger writers is a great idea! And Bridget's got a 
lot of good points!
Aziza
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 3:50 PM
Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content


>
> Hey,
>
>
>
> I know I am new to posting material on the list, but here is my opinion 
> just the same.  Usually "adult content" refers to material with strong 
> language and descriptions of sex.  This is how bookstores and libraries 
> label such material.  I agree that being as specific as possible never 
> hurts anything, but reading something labeled adult content usually 
> implies such stuff.  Just sayin'.
>
>
>
> What one finds offensive may not be offensive to others so I think it is 
> important to give anyone equal opportunity to post their material. 
> Placing a warning or label allows us to decide what to read or not read. 
> Some writers like to have that shock factor just because, but there are 
> times when certain things are required for character development or plot. 
> If I write a story about a former druggie or about an abusive husband it 
> would be in character for them to swear or be violent.  I am glad the 
> decision was made to allow us to post the work we wish to share.  If the 
> list serve was established as one genre or as a site devoid of certain 
> material then understandably we should follow the rules, but this is not 
> the case and fair is fair.  Good decision Robert.
>
>
>
> While I do not understand some material certain writers choose to produce 
> (such as American Psycho or Dangerous Liaisons) I do not believe in 
> banning material even when people or groups disagree with the content. 
> However, I do believe some content is not appropriate for younger viewers. 
> Children should be aware of the birds and the bees, but they do not need 
> to know the intricacies of sexual behavior.  I agree that a seperate site 
> for younger writers is a great idea particularly since the Division has 
> opened up the contest for younger writers.
>
>
> Bridgit Pollpeter
>> From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 26
>> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:00:10 -0500
>>
>> Send stylist mailing list submissions to
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>> When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
>> than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>>
>>
>> Today's Topics:
>>
>> 1. Help with the Kinks (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> 2. Read Chapter 0 Joe Orozco (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> 3. From Shelley Metrolink 708 Being there Tomorrow
>> (Shelley J. Alongi)
>> 4. Re: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25 (Kerry Thompson)
>> 5. Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Robert Leslie Newman)
>> 6. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Dan Hicks)
>> 7. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Barbara Hammel)
>> 8. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Joe Orozco)
>> 9. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (loristay)
>> 10. Re: Chapter 0 (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
>> 11. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> (Robert Leslie Newman)
>> 12. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Judith Bron)
>> 13. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Donna Hill)
>> 14. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
>>
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 1
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:54:46 -0500
>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [stylist] Help with the Kinks
>> Message-ID: <SNT136-w23E0CD05AAFAB03D584BCBC4020 at phx.gbl>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>>
>> List,
>>
>>
>>
>> For those who are curious, the piece I posted for suggestions is creative 
>> non-fiction. It is a personal essay I would like to polish. Thanks.
>>
>>
>>
>> Bridgit
>>
>> > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:00:14 -0500
>> >
>> > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
>> > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > You can reach the person managing the list at
>> > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
>> > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>> >
>> >
>> > Today's Topics:
>> >
>> > 1. Re: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24 (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> > 2. please help with kinks (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> > 3. Re: Chapter 0 (Joe Orozco)
>> > 4. Re: please help with kinks (Donna Hill)
>> > 5. Re: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 22 (Kerry Thompson)
>> > 6. Folk music fans, my latest interview with singer-songwriter
>> > Steve Gillette (Donna Hill)
>> >
>> >
>> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 1
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:29:28 -0500
>> > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> > To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > Message-ID: <SNT136-w41E11642912E2F2DADC1E7C4030 at phx.gbl>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>> >
>> >
>> > Joe,
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > this is a good start. I just have a couple of general suggestions to 
>> > make.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Dialogue can be tricky because you don't want it to just be a filler. 
>> > Dialogue should always move the plot forward. We need to learn new info 
>> > and/or character development with each line of dialogue. Check and make 
>> > sure you don't need to cut any dialogue to make things more concise.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Keep the action moving. Especially with long sections of dialogue you 
>> > wwant to place some action. Try rewriting the narration into action. 
>> > Create scenes to keep the pacing especially with a mystery story.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Really good job. This is interesting. Use specifics where ever you can, 
>> > but I like the intrigue! *smile*
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit Pollpeter
>> >
>> > > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:00:08 -0500
>> > >
>> > > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
>> > > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > You can reach the person managing the list at
>> > > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
>> > > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Today's Topics:
>> > >
>> > > 1. Re: Chapter 0 (Neil Butters)
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Message: 1
>> > > Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:54:06 -0400
>> > > From: "Neil Butters" <neil.butters at sympatico.ca>
>> > > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > > Message-ID: <BLU0-SMTP8128FB7B587017399D4262E2040 at phx.gbl>
>> > > Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
>> > > reply-type=original
>> > >
>> > > Hi Joe,
>> > >
>> > > I agree with all the comments thus far; I think it's good. I think 
>> > > the
>> > > dialogue is fine, but see below. I have a fewe quibbles:
>> > >
>> > > First paragraph: ".sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a 
>> > > mysterious
>> > > letter would one day appear in their mailbox." - Whose mailbox? 
>> > > Christian's?
>> > > "They" in the paragraph is referring to the people after Christian, 
>> > > but it
>> > > isn't their mailbox.
>> > >
>> > > Same paragraph: "simply appear at the front door bearing news of the 
>> > > type
>> > > Christian and his family could do without." - I think "Could do 
>> > > without" is
>> > > fairly vague and often used as a punchline: "My mother-in-law is 
>> > > visiting.
>> > > That's something I could do without!" It doesn't seem sinister enough 
>> > > to me.
>> > >
>> > > I agree with the previous comment about the answering machine; I 
>> > > think you
>> > > should state that the dialogue is coming from the answering machine 
>> > > on the
>> > > same line as the dialogue itself. It is a bit confusing as you have 
>> > > it
>> > > written. It almost seems at first glance that Christian typed the 
>> > > message on
>> > > his laptop.
>> > >
>> > > I think you will need to add some dialogue tags. It is unclear who is
>> > > speaking the first line of dialogue when it follows a paragraph, 
>> > > e.g., ".the
>> > > blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > I know in this case it is pretty obvious who is speaking, but it 
>> > > won't
>> > > always be clear to the reader.
>> > >
>> > > I look forward to reading more.
>> > >
>> > > Neil
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > --------------------------------------------------
>> > > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > > Sent: Sunday, April 25, 2010 5:11 PM
>> > > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > > Subject: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > >
>> > > > Dear all,
>> > > >
>> > > > I wrote the material below in the span of an hour. Therefore, do 
>> > > > not
>> > > > expect
>> > > > anything great. It still needs a lot of development. In fact, it is
>> > > > Chapter 0 because I feel this may be a better beginning to my novel 
>> > > > after
>> > > > the suspense of the prologue, but for the moment I am especially
>> > > > interested
>> > > > in your assistance with dialogue. All suggestions are welcomed, and 
>> > > > for
>> > > > this chapter you needn't worry about offensive content. Cindy's 
>> > > > website
>> > > > recommendation looks like a great one. I'll reserve my sensitive 
>> > > > content
>> > > > for that venue if it would make people happy.
>> > > >
>> > > > ***
>> > > >
>> > > > Christian always knew they would come calling one day. He wasn't
>> > > > sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious letter would 
>> > > > one
>> > > > day
>> > > > appear in their mailbox. Maybe one morning he would open his e-mail 
>> > > > inbox
>> > > > to discover a message from an unidentified sender, but given their
>> > > > obsession
>> > > > with secrecy, it was more likely that someone from the old 
>> > > > fraternity
>> > > > would
>> > > > simply appear at the front door bearing news of the type Christian 
>> > > > and his
>> > > > family could do without.
>> > > > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> > > > fraternity would gamble with an unsecure line, but he had always 
>> > > > been
>> > > > right
>> > > > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would come as a 
>> > > > total
>> > > > surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the 
>> > > > inevitable
>> > > > encounter. On the morning the call came through he was deeply 
>> > > > immersed in
>> > > > the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had come to him, as 
>> > > > so
>> > > > many
>> > > > of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen 
>> > > > his
>> > > > family
>> > > > out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of 
>> > > > a
>> > > > promising plot.
>> > > > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an
>> > > > unidentified caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In his 
>> > > > feverish
>> > > > state of mind he only wanted to be left alone to fully concentrate 
>> > > > on the
>> > > > story unfurling under his fingers.
>> > > > "Mr. Adams, this is Don speaking.
>> > > > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes
>> > > > slowly moving to the answering machine that was now conveying a 
>> > > > clipped
>> > > > British accent from his past.
>> > > > "I trust you are well. It has been a while since we've spoken, and
>> > > > I am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > > > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in
>> > > > his seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > > > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest
>> > > > opportunity. If you are listening to me now, it would be preferable 
>> > > > that
>> > > > you pick up the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is 
>> > > > most
>> > > > urgent."
>> > > > Christian pondered it for a moment. He could ignore the call,
>> > > > pretend he was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare
>> > > > surfaced. That penetrating stare had always troubled Christian. Now 
>> > > > it
>> > > > was
>> > > > almost as though the man were in the room, daring him to be 
>> > > > foolish. He
>> > > > slowly reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to sound 
>> > > > calm and
>> > > > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was no need 
>> > > > to be
>> > > > afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > > > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > > > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > > > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > > > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > > > "We are not friends."
>> > > > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it
>> > > > has been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > > > "You're unbelievable."
>> > > > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So,
>> > > > let me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > > > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared
>> > > > for the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be far 
>> > > > preferable
>> > > > to
>> > > > the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > > "I have no brothers."
>> > > > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> > > > yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was 
>> > > > referring to
>> > > > the brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > > > "I left the fraternity."
>> > > > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though 
>> > > > exercising
>> > > > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the
>> > > > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > > > "I was told I could--"
>> > > > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer
>> > > > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your 
>> > > > membership and
>> > > > allegiance never existed?"
>> > > > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the
>> > > > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn cradled in 
>> > > > the arms
>> > > > of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that his 
>> > > > life had
>> > > > truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade into 
>> > > > distant
>> > > > memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he almost 
>> > > > grinned
>> > > > at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could just get away?
>> > > > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death.
>> > > > They had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable
>> > > > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family would 
>> > > > be best
>> > > > suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > > > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > > > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more
>> > > > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more 
>> > > > despicable.
>> > > > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not imagine, 
>> > > > but on
>> > > > the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > > > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > > > Christian sat forward. "You want me to just take in a boy I've
>> > > > never met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to in more 
>> > > > than
>> > > > eighteen years?"
>> > > > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > > > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled.
>> > > > "You're damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think you're 
>> > > > crazy to
>> > > > just call me up this way."
>> > > > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but.
>> > > > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet for 
>> > > > you? You
>> > > > have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have been 
>> > > > allowed
>> > > > to go about your business despite the concerns of several of the 
>> > > > brothers.
>> > > > Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of your 
>> > > > brethren
>> > > > should
>> > > > be an honor to you, especially since worthier members would have 
>> > > > been all
>> > > > too glad for the privilege."
>> > > > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you just
>> > > > can't call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being
>> > > > coerced
>> > > > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > > > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite
>> > > > how I view it, but you are right to assume that you do not really 
>> > > > have a
>> > > > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in
>> > > > approximately
>> > > > three months. This should give you ample time to prepare for his
>> > > > arrival."
>> > > > "And if I refuse?"
>> > > > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> > > >
>> > > > ***
>> > > >
>> > > > Joe Orozco
>> > > >
>> > > > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> > > > sleeves,
>> > > > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam 
>> > > > Ewing
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus
>> > > > signature
>> > > > database 5059 (20100425) __________
>> > > >
>> > > > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> > > >
>> > > > http://www.eset.com
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > _______________________________________________
>> > > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > > > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > > >
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>> > > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > ------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > _______________________________________________
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>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
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>> > >
>> > >
>> > > End of stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > > ***************************************
>> >
>> > _________________________________________________________________
>> > The New Busy is not the old busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your 
>> > inbox.
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>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 2
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:35:29 -0500
>> > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> > To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: [stylist] please help with kinks
>> > Message-ID: <SNT136-w11ED5DB054976C919E3DEDC4030 at phx.gbl>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252"
>> >
>> >
>> > Hello list,
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > This is like a second draft, but it needs so much polishing. I feel 
>> > like the end trails off and I am having the proverbial writer's block. 
>> > Let me know what you think.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > The parking lot of Crossroads Christian Center is desolate. The only 
>> > sound I hear as I walk towards the entrance is the nearby cars whizzing 
>> > down the highway, and the crunch of snow under foot. I pause before 
>> > opening the heavy metal door. The primal thump of music vibrates along 
>> > the cinder block walls of the building. The once familiar environment 
>> > places heaviness on my spirit.
>> > For ten years my family gave their life to this church. For ten years 
>> > my family was trampled on and eventually spit out. I stand here now 
>> > wishing to burn this abomination to the ground. I swing the door wide 
>> > and the thumping grows into a raucous musical tirade. My ears ring from 
>> > the volume. The only audio cue I can make out is the surround-sound 
>> > music that blares like a rock concert. Worship loses its meaning. Some 
>> > how a dolled-up woman belting center-stage as she is illuminated by 
>> > theatrical spotlights make it difficult to focus on Christ.
>> > I was raised Christian. I never thought to step too far outside what I 
>> > was taught. I was determined to keep the faith despite the dysfunction 
>> > of my family and my own bouts of depression. Growing up Christian does 
>> > not mean I escaped witnessing my mother?s lust for the material and my 
>> > work-a-holic father to busy to watch his children grow. Feeling 
>> > isolated from the rest of mankind for some quirk (referred to as 
>> > depression I had the misfortune of being born with) left me alone 
>> > except for the God who claimed to love me unconditionally. Doubts 
>> > crossed my mind, but ultimately my faith was bigger than any 
>> > misgivings. The wiggle of questions finally wormed their way to the 
>> > surface though. Homosexuality, pre-marital sex, burning in hell for 
>> > believing in a deity not named Christ; I no longer can ignore my doubts 
>> > in the name of faith. I do not believe (I never truly did) these are 
>> > mortal sins damning us to hell. I won?t go through the motions.
>> > A man steps to the podium as the crescendo of the music begins its 
>> > descent. He sputters a guttural cacophony of some long-lost ancient 
>> > language while the small congregation hoops and hollers. The worship 
>> > leader belts her agreement. A pagan tribe swirls and leaps around a 
>> > roaring fire in my mind as I cringe and fight my instinct to dash 
>> > towards the microphone and begin my own tirade. ?What the hell is wrong 
>> > with you people? Hypocrites and self-righteous, pig-headed bigots.?
>> > My family moved to Council Bluffs towards the end of my senior year of 
>> > high school. My dad was hired as the Head of Maintenance with his 
>> > Bachelor?s in business and MBA. He had left the world of business to 
>> > pursue the ministry though. Ministry became a family affair. Mom and my 
>> > three siblings were involved in some capacity, but it was Dad?s 
>> > passion. Sunday school, worship team, nursery, children?s church, we 
>> > all had our hand in some area. Crossroads Christian Center was an 
>> > Assembly-of-God church pastored by a long-time friend of the family. 
>> > The Friend, a self-proclaimed former drug addict who viewed higher 
>> > education as a tool of the devil, felt my dad was suited to the life of 
>> > cleaning up after others. Dad, who was in the process of receiving his 
>> > seminary training, was not trusted to ?Shepard? people. In a short 
>> > period of time, though, the congregation would turn to my dad for 
>> > advice and counseling, and eventually he was asked to perform weddings 
>> > and funerals. My dad is well-respected in the community. The Friend, 
>> > well he has grown jealous and spiteful. When Dad attempted to apply for 
>> > a pastor position in another city, the Pastor-friend said, ?You really 
>> > don?t belong in the ministry. You are being tempted and should resist. 
>> > Your place is here, keeping the church beautiful for the Lord.?
>> > The compound-like church sits on the western end of town. I always 
>> > hated the building. It is dark and no light enters. My dad finally 
>> > stepped out on the infamous faith I was always told about. ?All things 
>> > are possible with Christ.? The frenzied Sunday morning sermons and 
>> > concert-like worship hour did nothing for the soul. ?Rejoice in the 
>> > Lord always,? spread in a jovial arch above the choir loft as the 
>> > Pastor raved about sin on Sunday mornings. ?This world is going to 
>> > hell. Maybe a few Lutherans and Catholics will be in heaven, but it is 
>> > up to us to keep the faith. All you who listened to secular music or 
>> > watched television last night must repent and become holy for the 
>> > Lord.? The Pastor paced the stage like a tiger looking for his next 
>> > prey.
>> > Yet, I kept my faith in tact. I recognized this place for what it was, 
>> > but the fibers of my being still knew and trusted the core of this 
>> > religion called Christianity. I saw the hypocrisy and was disgusted 
>> > with the politics, but I thought God was bigger than human intrigue and 
>> > ambition. How do I come to mistrust it all now? Mornings spent sitting 
>> > at the well-manicured feet of my mother while she reads from the 
>> > story-book full of Bible tales plays through my mind. The book is white 
>> > and a Caucasian Jesus garbed in blue and white sits among a group of 
>> > contemporary-dressed children. I loved the stories of bravery and 
>> > heroism and romance. All pointed back to the salvation of this 
>> > wonderful savior. I felt comfort in knowing I was loved and accepted 
>> > even if home life was rocky. I read every night in bed with my red 
>> > flash-light trying to ignore the muffled shouting seeping from my 
>> > parent?s bedroom. I would hunker down among my blankets with the pink 
>> > Cheerbear Carebear and brown stuffed cocker-spaniel to keep me company. 
>> > We read the story of Ester, the beautiful young Hebrew girl chosen to 
>> > marry the pagan king. Her trust in God saved not only her life, but the 
>> > lives of her fellow Hebrews. God?s love was greater than any evil and 
>> > those who trust Him are showered with this love. As I shot into a teen 
>> > I clung to this idea of unconditional love. Knocks upside my head 
>> > delivered in frustration by my parents were no match for the love of 
>> > Christ. Sitting, crying silently, unable to breathe, I knew I was held 
>> > in loving hands somewhere.
>> > That assurance is gone now. I believe in a higher power, but who they 
>> > are, I can?t answer that. My parents hang from the ropes of their faith 
>> > even though they are constantly knocked down. Whether it is over-due 
>> > bills or rejections after interviews or constant life-threatening 
>> > illnesses, my parents find their comfort in Christ. This differs from 
>> > the parents of my childhood. I see the change and want to believe it is 
>> > all due to the grace of God, but I question. The transformation of my 
>> > money-hungry, designer suit wearing, quick to anger father has done a 
>> > one-eighty. The remnants of my childhood father no longer remain. I 
>> > remember the abuse, but that man left. This gentle man spends hours 
>> > watching his grandchildren play on the Moonwalk instead of enjoying the 
>> > baseball game in the stadium. When sheets of rain keep me from 
>> > attempting a dash to the bus stop, Dad is on speed dial ready to drop 
>> > me off where I need to go. This is the man I love, and this is the man 
>> > I wish to protect from a slanderous, spiteful Pastor who did nothing 
>> > but give grief to those who opposed him. Dad knew the truth and 
>> > confronted the Pastor. Dad spoke in his usual soft tones while the 
>> > Pastor shifted his eyes around and gripped the edge of his desk.
>> > ?You're out of line brother,? Dad said.
>> > ?I?m out of line? You don?t know who you are dealing with,? the Pastor 
>> > said. His nostrils flared as he stared Dad down.
>> > ?You?re ostracizing people who want to help. No one is trying to 
>> > replace you.? Dad folded his hands and smiled into the red, angry face 
>> > of the Pastor.
>> > ?You all want to take me down. Satan is speaking through you. I know 
>> > your secrets.?
>> > ?Brother, I have no secrets. I?m not proud of my past, but God?s 
>> > forgiveness has granted me mercy.?
>> > ?Your lies and deceit are what keep you from providing for your 
>> > family.? The Pastor smirked.
>> > Dad?s eyes looked down for a moment, and he met the Pastor?s glare with 
>> > remorse. ?I?ve made mistakes, and my family has had to pay for them, 
>> > but I?m trying to make up for it.?
>> > ?Look what your education got you. You clean up after others.? He 
>> > stood, grabbing his black leather jacket purchased at Wilson?s.
>> > Dad sat and turned in his chair. Zipping up his faded sweat-shirt he 
>> > said, ?The least of you shall be first, and the first shall be last.? 
>> > Dad passed through the door before the Pastor said anything.
>> > My dad never loses sight of his faith. For years he has struggled to 
>> > support his family, and at fifty-one he still scrambles to pay the 
>> > bills. Never once does his belief in god waver. Prayer and meditation 
>> > bring him peace. I was taught that without the peace of God people are 
>> > empty and have no purpose. I have not experienced this emptiness 
>> > without God. I wonder where my faith went, but I am at peace with who I 
>> > am. Perhaps it is all about perception and preference. If I find 
>> > contentment, is it necessary to know where it comes from? I admire 
>> > those who stick to their guns no matter what life throws at them, but 
>> > my spirit is not in turmoil. Maybe one day I will find the right light 
>> > switch and the beliefs I held for so long will return. For now I find 
>> > new ways of experiencing God. In the love I have for my husband and his 
>> > love in me. The joy of nephew and nieces who have become my surrogate 
>> > children. The fleeting anger I feel towards Crossroads Christian Center 
>> > and the Pastor only solidifies my new belief that no one person or 
>> > group has all the answers.
>> > While the Pastor continues his message of darkness and fear, I find a 
>> > religion based on love. The gentle hand sweeping hair from my face to 
>> > kiss me good-bye every morning as I sleep. The 15-month-old Curly Sue 
>> > who wraps her chubby arms around my neck every time I see her. Even the 
>> > high-strung puppy that seems starved for attention as she jumps into my 
>> > lap. Most importantly is my dad who would give his life for any of his 
>> > children. Isn?t this what Jesus taught? To love one another. I have an 
>> > abundance of love in my life, and this allows me to touch God everyday.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > _________________________________________________________________
>> > Hotmail is redefining busy with tools for the New Busy. Get more from 
>> > your inbox.
>> > http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_2
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 3
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 14:14:10 -0400
>> > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > Message-ID: <12F1D897EAB74A8C80977B8546BD4C3B at Rufus>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
>> >
>> > Forgive the delay in getting this out, but I just wanted to thank 
>> > everyone
>> > for their candid critiques. I'm going to try to work in people's
>> > suggestions where possible and send a revised draft later with an
>> > accompanying prologue. Thanks so much again for the feedback!
>> >
>> > Joe
>> >
>> > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> > sleeves,
>> > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> > [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Neil Butters
>> > Sent: Monday, April 26, 2010 1:54 PM
>> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> >
>> > Hi Joe,
>> >
>> > I agree with all the comments thus far; I think it's good. I think the
>> > dialogue is fine, but see below. I have a fewe quibbles:
>> >
>> > First paragraph: ".sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a
>> > mysterious
>> > letter would one day appear in their mailbox." - Whose mailbox?
>> > Christian's?
>> > "They" in the paragraph is referring to the people after
>> > Christian, but it
>> > isn't their mailbox.
>> >
>> > Same paragraph: "simply appear at the front door bearing news
>> > of the type
>> > Christian and his family could do without." - I think "Could do
>> > without" is
>> > fairly vague and often used as a punchline: "My mother-in-law
>> > is visiting.
>> > That's something I could do without!" It doesn't seem sinister
>> > enough to me.
>> >
>> > I agree with the previous comment about the answering machine;
>> > I think you
>> > should state that the dialogue is coming from the answering
>> > machine on the
>> > same line as the dialogue itself. It is a bit confusing as you have it
>> > written. It almost seems at first glance that Christian typed
>> > the message on
>> > his laptop.
>> >
>> > I think you will need to add some dialogue tags. It is unclear who is
>> > speaking the first line of dialogue when it follows a
>> > paragraph, e.g., ".the
>> > blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > I know in this case it is pretty obvious who is speaking, but it won't
>> > always be clear to the reader.
>> >
>> > I look forward to reading more.
>> >
>> > Neil
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --------------------------------------------------
>> > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > Sent: Sunday, April 25, 2010 5:11 PM
>> > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> >
>> > > Dear all,
>> > >
>> > > I wrote the material below in the span of an hour. Therefore, do not
>> > > expect
>> > > anything great. It still needs a lot of development. In fact, it is
>> > > Chapter 0 because I feel this may be a better beginning to my
>> > novel after
>> > > the suspense of the prologue, but for the moment I am especially
>> > > interested
>> > > in your assistance with dialogue. All suggestions are
>> > welcomed, and for
>> > > this chapter you needn't worry about offensive content.
>> > Cindy's website
>> > > recommendation looks like a great one. I'll reserve my
>> > sensitive content
>> > > for that venue if it would make people happy.
>> > >
>> > > ***
>> > >
>> > > Christian always knew they would come calling one day. He wasn't
>> > > sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious
>> > letter would one
>> > > day
>> > > appear in their mailbox. Maybe one morning he would open his
>> > e-mail inbox
>> > > to discover a message from an unidentified sender, but given their
>> > > obsession
>> > > with secrecy, it was more likely that someone from the old fraternity
>> > > would
>> > > simply appear at the front door bearing news of the type
>> > Christian and his
>> > > family could do without.
>> > > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> > > fraternity would gamble with an unsecure line, but he had always been
>> > > right
>> > > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would
>> > come as a total
>> > > surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the
>> > inevitable
>> > > encounter. On the morning the call came through he was
>> > deeply immersed in
>> > > the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had come to
>> > him, as so
>> > > many
>> > > of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen his
>> > > family
>> > > out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of a
>> > > promising plot.
>> > > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an
>> > > unidentified caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In
>> > his feverish
>> > > state of mind he only wanted to be left alone to fully
>> > concentrate on the
>> > > story unfurling under his fingers.
>> > > "Mr. Adams, this is Don speaking.
>> > > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes
>> > > slowly moving to the answering machine that was now conveying
>> > a clipped
>> > > British accent from his past.
>> > > "I trust you are well. It has been a while since we've spoken, and
>> > > I am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in
>> > > his seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest
>> > > opportunity. If you are listening to me now, it would be
>> > preferable that
>> > > you pick up the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is most
>> > > urgent."
>> > > Christian pondered it for a moment. He could ignore the call,
>> > > pretend he was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare
>> > > surfaced. That penetrating stare had always troubled
>> > Christian. Now it
>> > > was
>> > > almost as though the man were in the room, daring him to be
>> > foolish. He
>> > > slowly reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to
>> > sound calm and
>> > > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was
>> > no need to be
>> > > afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > > "We are not friends."
>> > > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it
>> > > has been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > > "You're unbelievable."
>> > > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So,
>> > > let me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared
>> > > for the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be
>> > far preferable
>> > > to
>> > > the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > "I have no brothers."
>> > > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> > > yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was
>> > referring to
>> > > the brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > > "I left the fraternity."
>> > > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though exercising
>> > > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the
>> > > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > > "I was told I could--"
>> > > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer
>> > > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your
>> > membership and
>> > > allegiance never existed?"
>> > > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the
>> > > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn
>> > cradled in the arms
>> > > of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that
>> > his life had
>> > > truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade
>> > into distant
>> > > memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he
>> > almost grinned
>> > > at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could just get away?
>> > > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death.
>> > > They had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable
>> > > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family
>> > would be best
>> > > suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more
>> > > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more
>> > despicable.
>> > > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not
>> > imagine, but on
>> > > the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > > Christian sat forward. "You want me to just take in a boy I've
>> > > never met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to
>> > in more than
>> > > eighteen years?"
>> > > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled.
>> > > "You're damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think
>> > you're crazy to
>> > > just call me up this way."
>> > > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but.
>> > > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet
>> > for you? You
>> > > have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have
>> > been allowed
>> > > to go about your business despite the concerns of several of
>> > the brothers.
>> > > Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of your brethren
>> > > should
>> > > be an honor to you, especially since worthier members would
>> > have been all
>> > > too glad for the privilege."
>> > > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you just
>> > > can't call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being
>> > > coerced
>> > > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite
>> > > how I view it, but you are right to assume that you do not
>> > really have a
>> > > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in
>> > > approximately
>> > > three months. This should give you ample time to prepare for his
>> > > arrival."
>> > > "And if I refuse?"
>> > > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> > >
>> > > ***
>> > >
>> > > Joe Orozco
>> > >
>> > > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up
>> > their sleeves,
>> > > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus
>> > > signature
>> > > database 5059 (20100425) __________
>> > >
>> > > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> > >
>> > > http://www.eset.com
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > _______________________________________________
>> > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > >
>> > > stylist mailing list
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
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>> > >
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/neil.bu
>> > tters%40sympatico.ca
>> > >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
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>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
>> > info for stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
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>> >
>> >
>> > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of
>> > virus signature database 5062 (20100426) __________
>> >
>> > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> >
>> > http://www.eset.com
>> >
>> >
>> > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of
>> > virus signature database 5066 (20100427) __________
>> >
>> > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> >
>> > http://www.eset.com
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>> > signature
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>> > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> >
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>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 4
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:21:05 -0400
>> > From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
>> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] please help with kinks
>> > Message-ID: <4BD73921.4000000 at epix.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252; format=flowed
>> >
>> > Bridget,
>> > Is this a story or an autobiographical memoir? Maybe you posted before
>> > and I didn't catch it, but I like to know if I'm reading a short story,
>> > the first chapter of a novel or creative nonfiction. It makes a
>> > difference in terms of critique.
>> > Donna
>> >
>> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
>> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>> >
>> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
>> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>> >
>> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>> >
>> > Follow me on Twitter:
>> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
>> >
>> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
>> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>> >
>> > Or, FaceBook:
>> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>> >
>> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>> >
>> > Apple I-Tunes
>> >
>> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>> >
>> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>> > www.padnfb.org
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
>> > > Hello list,
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > This is like a second draft, but it needs so much polishing. I feel 
>> > > like the end trails off and I am having the proverbial writer's 
>> > > block. Let me know what you think.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Bridgit
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The parking lot of Crossroads Christian Center is desolate. The only 
>> > > sound I hear as I walk towards the entrance is the nearby cars 
>> > > whizzing down the highway, and the crunch of snow under foot. I pause 
>> > > before opening the heavy metal door. The primal thump of music 
>> > > vibrates along the cinder block walls of the building. The once 
>> > > familiar environment places heaviness on my spirit.
>> > > For ten years my family gave their life to this church. For ten years 
>> > > my family was trampled on and eventually spit out. I stand here now 
>> > > wishing to burn this abomination to the ground. I swing the door wide 
>> > > and the thumping grows into a raucous musical tirade. My ears ring 
>> > > from the volume. The only audio cue I can make out is the 
>> > > surround-sound music that blares like a rock concert. Worship loses 
>> > > its meaning. Some how a dolled-up woman belting center-stage as she 
>> > > is illuminated by theatrical spotlights make it difficult to focus on 
>> > > Christ.
>> > > I was raised Christian. I never thought to step too far outside what 
>> > > I was taught. I was determined to keep the faith despite the 
>> > > dysfunction of my family and my own bouts of depression. Growing up 
>> > > Christian does not mean I escaped witnessing my mother?s lust for the 
>> > > material and my work-a-holic father to busy to watch his children 
>> > > grow. Feeling isolated from the rest of mankind for some quirk 
>> > > (referred to as depression I had the misfortune of being born with) 
>> > > left me alone except for the God who claimed to love me 
>> > > unconditionally. Doubts crossed my mind, but ultimately my faith was 
>> > > bigger than any misgivings. The wiggle of questions finally wormed 
>> > > their way to the surface though. Homosexuality, pre-marital sex, 
>> > > burning in hell for believing in a deity not named Christ; I no 
>> > > longer can ignore my doubts in the name of faith. I do not believe (I 
>> > > never truly did) these are mortal sins damning us to hell. I won?t go 
>> > > through the motions.
>> > > A man steps to the podium as the crescendo of the music begins its 
>> > > descent. He sputters a guttural cacophony of some long-lost ancient 
>> > > language while the small congregation hoops and hollers. The worship 
>> > > leader belts her agreement. A pagan tribe swirls and leaps around a 
>> > > roaring fire in my mind as I cringe and fight my instinct to dash 
>> > > towards the microphone and begin my own tirade. ?What the hell is 
>> > > wrong with you people? Hypocrites and self-righteous, pig-headed 
>> > > bigots.?
>> > > My family moved to Council Bluffs towards the end of my senior year 
>> > > of high school. My dad was hired as the Head of Maintenance with his 
>> > > Bachelor?s in business and MBA. He had left the world of business to 
>> > > pursue the ministry though. Ministry became a family affair. Mom and 
>> > > my three siblings were involved in some capacity, but it was Dad?s 
>> > > passion. Sunday school, worship team, nursery, children?s church, we 
>> > > all had our hand in some area. Crossroads Christian Center was an 
>> > > Assembly-of-God church pastored by a long-time friend of the family. 
>> > > The Friend, a self-proclaimed former drug addict who viewed higher 
>> > > education as a tool of the devil, felt my dad was suited to the life 
>> > > of cleaning up after others. Dad, who was in the process of receiving 
>> > > his seminary training, was not trusted to ?Shepard? people. In a 
>> > > short period of time, though, the congregation would turn to my dad 
>> > > for advice and counseling, and eventually he was asked to perform 
>> > > weddings and funerals. My dad is well-respected in the community. The 
>> > > Friend, well he has grown jealous and spiteful. When Dad attempted to 
>> > > apply for a pastor position in another city, the Pastor-friend said, 
>> > > ?You really don?t belong in the ministry. You are being tempted and 
>> > > should resist. Your place is here, keeping the church beautiful for 
>> > > the Lord.?
>> > > The compound-like church sits on the western end of town. I always 
>> > > hated the building. It is dark and no light enters. My dad finally 
>> > > stepped out on the infamous faith I was always told about. ?All 
>> > > things are possible with Christ.? The frenzied Sunday morning sermons 
>> > > and concert-like worship hour did nothing for the soul. ?Rejoice in 
>> > > the Lord always,? spread in a jovial arch above the choir loft as the 
>> > > Pastor raved about sin on Sunday mornings. ?This world is going to 
>> > > hell. Maybe a few Lutherans and Catholics will be in heaven, but it 
>> > > is up to us to keep the faith. All you who listened to secular music 
>> > > or watched television last night must repent and become holy for the 
>> > > Lord.? The Pastor paced the stage like a tiger looking for his next 
>> > > prey.
>> > > Yet, I kept my faith in tact. I recognized this place for what it 
>> > > was, but the fibers of my being still knew and trusted the core of 
>> > > this religion called Christianity. I saw the hypocrisy and was 
>> > > disgusted with the politics, but I thought God was bigger than human 
>> > > intrigue and ambition. How do I come to mistrust it all now? Mornings 
>> > > spent sitting at the well-manicured feet of my mother while she reads 
>> > > from the story-book full of Bible tales plays through my mind. The 
>> > > book is white and a Caucasian Jesus garbed in blue and white sits 
>> > > among a group of contemporary-dressed children. I loved the stories 
>> > > of bravery and heroism and romance. All pointed back to the salvation 
>> > > of this wonderful savior. I felt comfort in knowing I was loved and 
>> > > accepted even if home life was rocky. I read every night in bed with 
>> > > my red flash-light trying to ignore the muffled shouting seeping from 
>> > > my parent?s bedroom. I would hunker down among my blankets with the 
>> > > pink Cheerbear Carebear and brown stuffed cocker-spaniel to keep me 
>> > > company. We read the story of Ester, the beautiful young Hebrew girl 
>> > > chosen to marry the pagan king. Her trust in God saved not only her 
>> > > life, but the lives of her fellow Hebrews. God?s love was greater 
>> > > than any evil and those who trust Him are showered with this love. As 
>> > > I shot into a teen I clung to this idea of unconditional love. Knocks 
>> > > upside my head delivered in frustration by my parents were no match 
>> > > for the love of Christ. Sitting, crying silently, unable to breathe, 
>> > > I knew I was held in loving hands somewhere.
>> > > That assurance is gone now. I believe in a higher power, but who they 
>> > > are, I can?t answer that. My parents hang from the ropes of their 
>> > > faith even though they are constantly knocked down. Whether it is 
>> > > over-due bills or rejections after interviews or constant 
>> > > life-threatening illnesses, my parents find their comfort in Christ. 
>> > > This differs from the parents of my childhood. I see the change and 
>> > > want to believe it is all due to the grace of God, but I question. 
>> > > The transformation of my money-hungry, designer suit wearing, quick 
>> > > to anger father has done a one-eighty. The remnants of my childhood 
>> > > father no longer remain. I remember the abuse, but that man left. 
>> > > This gentle man spends hours watching his grandchildren play on the 
>> > > Moonwalk instead of enjoying the baseball game in the stadium. When 
>> > > sheets of rain keep me from attempting a dash to the bus stop, Dad is 
>> > > on speed dial ready to drop me off where I need to go. This is the 
>> > > man I love, and this is the man I wish to protect from a slanderous, 
>> > > spiteful Pastor who did nothing but give grief to those who opposed 
>> > > him. Dad knew the truth and confronted the Pastor. Dad spoke in his 
>> > > usual soft tones while the Pastor shifted his eyes around and gripped 
>> > > the edge of his desk.
>> > > ?You're out of line brother,? Dad said.
>> > > ?I?m out of line? You don?t know who you are dealing with,? the 
>> > > Pastor said. His nostrils flared as he stared Dad down.
>> > > ?You?re ostracizing people who want to help. No one is trying to 
>> > > replace you.? Dad folded his hands and smiled into the red, angry 
>> > > face of the Pastor.
>> > > ?You all want to take me down. Satan is speaking through you. I know 
>> > > your secrets.?
>> > > ?Brother, I have no secrets. I?m not proud of my past, but God?s 
>> > > forgiveness has granted me mercy.?
>> > > ?Your lies and deceit are what keep you from providing for your 
>> > > family.? The Pastor smirked.
>> > > Dad?s eyes looked down for a moment, and he met the Pastor?s glare 
>> > > with remorse. ?I?ve made mistakes, and my family has had to pay for 
>> > > them, but I?m trying to make up for it.?
>> > > ?Look what your education got you. You clean up after others.? He 
>> > > stood, grabbing his black leather jacket purchased at Wilson?s.
>> > > Dad sat and turned in his chair. Zipping up his faded sweat-shirt he 
>> > > said, ?The least of you shall be first, and the first shall be last.? 
>> > > Dad passed through the door before the Pastor said anything.
>> > > My dad never loses sight of his faith. For years he has struggled to 
>> > > support his family, and at fifty-one he still scrambles to pay the 
>> > > bills. Never once does his belief in god waver. Prayer and meditation 
>> > > bring him peace. I was taught that without the peace of God people 
>> > > are empty and have no purpose. I have not experienced this emptiness 
>> > > without God. I wonder where my faith went, but I am at peace with who 
>> > > I am. Perhaps it is all about perception and preference. If I find 
>> > > contentment, is it necessary to know where it comes from? I admire 
>> > > those who stick to their guns no matter what life throws at them, but 
>> > > my spirit is not in turmoil. Maybe one day I will find the right 
>> > > light switch and the beliefs I held for so long will return.. For now 
>> > > I find new ways of experiencing God. In the love I have for my 
>> > > husband and his love in me. The joy of nephew and nieces who have 
>> > > become my surrogate children. The fleeting anger I feel towards 
>> > > Crossroads Christian Center and the Pastor only solidifies my new 
>> > > belief that no one person or group has all the answers.
>> > > While the Pastor continues his message of darkness and fear, I find a 
>> > > religion based on love. The gentle hand sweeping hair from my face to 
>> > > kiss me good-bye every morning as I sleep. The 15-month-old Curly Sue 
>> > > who wraps her chubby arms around my neck every time I see her. Even 
>> > > the high-strung puppy that seems starved for attention as she jumps 
>> > > into my lap. Most importantly is my dad who would give his life for 
>> > > any of his children. Isn?t this what Jesus taught? To love one 
>> > > another. I have an abundance of love in my life, and this allows me 
>> > > to touch God everyday.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > _________________________________________________________________
>> > > Hotmail is redefining busy with tools for the New Busy. Get more from 
>> > > your inbox.
>> > > http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_2
>> > > _______________________________________________
>> > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > >
>> > > stylist mailing list
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> > > stylist:
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> > > Database version: 6.14870
>> > > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>> > >
>> > >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> > Database version: 6.14870
>> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 5
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:54:02 -0400 (EDT)
>> > From: Kerry Thompson <uinen at earthlink.net>
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 22
>> > Message-ID:
>> > <15024538.1272419642240.JavaMail.root at wamui-june.atl.sa.earthlink.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
>> >
>> > Joe, RE: Chapter 0
>> >
>> > I've done some editing. See what you think. I agree with those who have 
>> > commented that you need more dialogue tags.
>> >
>> > ***
>> >
>> > Christian always knew the fraternity would come calling one day. He 
>> > wasn't sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious letter 
>> > would appear in the mailbox. Maybe he would open his e-mail inbox to 
>> > discover a message from an unidentified sender. But given their 
>> > obsession with secrecy, it was more likely that someone would simply 
>> > appear at the front door. However it came, the contact would mean 
>> > trouble.
>> > They chose the telephone. Christian never would have guessed the 
>> > fraternity would gamble with a non-secure line, but he had been right 
>> > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would come as a 
>> > total surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the 
>> > inevitable encounter. On the morning the call came through he was 
>> > deeply immersed in the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had 
>> > come to him, as so many of them did, without forethought, and by the 
>> > time he'd seen his family out the door, the kernel of an idea had 
>> > swelled into the makings of a promising plot.
>> > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an unidentified 
>> > caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In his feverish state of 
>> > mind he only wanted to be left alone to concentrate on the story 
>> > unfurling under his fingers.
>> > "Mr. Adams,? the voice said from the answering machine?s speaker, ?this 
>> > is Don speaking.
>> > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes slowly 
>> > moving to the machine. He knew that clipped British accent.
>> > "I trust you are well. It has been some time since we've spoken, and I 
>> > am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in his 
>> > seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest convenience. 
>> > If you are listening to me now, it would be preferable that you pick up 
>> > the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is most urgent."
>> > Christian pondered for a moment. He could ignore the call, pretend he 
>> > was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare surfaced. That 
>> > penetrating stare had always troubled Christian. Now it was almost as 
>> > though the man were in the room, daring him to be foolish. He slowly 
>> > reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to sound calm and 
>> > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was no need to 
>> > be afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > "We are not friends."
>> > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it has 
>> > been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > "You're unbelievable."
>> > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So, let 
>> > me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared for 
>> > the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be far preferable 
>> > to the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > "I have no brothers."
>> > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically, yes, you 
>> > are correct, but of course you know full well I was referring to the 
>> > brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > "I left the fraternity."
>> > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though exercising 
>> > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the 
>> > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > "I was told I could--"
>> > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer 
>> > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your membership 
>> > and allegiance never existed?"
>> > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the 
>> > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn cradled in the 
>> > arms of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that his 
>> > life had truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade 
>> > into distant memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he 
>> > almost grinned at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could 
>> > just get away?
>> > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death. They 
>> > had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable 
>> > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family would be 
>> > best suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more 
>> > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more despicable. 
>> > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not imagine, but 
>> > on the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > Christian sat forward. "You want me just to take in a boy I've never 
>> > met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to in more than 
>> > eighteen years?"
>> > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled. "You're 
>> > damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think you're crazy to call 
>> > me up this way."
>> > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but. 
>> > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet for you? 
>> > You have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have been 
>> > allowed to go about your business despite the concerns of several of 
>> > the brothers. Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of 
>> > your brethren should be an honor to you, especially since worthier 
>> > members would have been all too glad for the privilege."
>> > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you can't just 
>> > call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being coerced 
>> > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite how I 
>> > view it, but you are right to assume that you do not really have a 
>> > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in 
>> > approximately three months. This should give you ample time to prepare 
>> > for his arrival."
>> > "And if I refuse?"
>> > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> >
>> > ***
>> >
>> > Joe, you should be aware - everyone should be aware - that putting your 
>> > work on a public web site constitutes publication. Since it has been 
>> > "published," no editor will touch it except those few who accept 
>> > reprints.
>> >
>> > This is not nitpicking or splitting hairs; it is what professional 
>> > writers have told me.
>> >
>> > There are ways of putting work on the Internet and yet not having that 
>> > work on publicly accessible sites. For instance, you can create a 
>> > private blog which only selected, invited people can read. Perhaps you 
>> > should look into something of the kind.
>> >
>> > As to labels and warnings, I myself find them helpful. Some people 
>> > might not want to read a piece containing violence or might appreciate 
>> > being forewarned about the content. Similarly, some people might not be 
>> > interested in reading a Mystery, a Romance or a Western. Accurate and 
>> > considerate labeling in such a case would help save everyone time and 
>> > frustration. It seems to me that this is not a matter of censorship or 
>> > totalitarian tactics, but rather consideration of others.
>> >
>> > Naturally, there is a sense in which this whole discussion is moot. As 
>> > several people have pointed out, we as a group must conform to the 
>> > overall NFBNET rules if we want to continue using an NFBNET listserv. 
>> > But, regardless of what the rules may be, common courtesy ought to 
>> > guide us all. It is only courteous when posting a piece of work to give 
>> > a general discription. Is it fiction, nonfiction or poetry? What genre, 
>> > Science Fiction, Adventure, True Crime etc., does it belong to? Does it 
>> > contain violence or graphic sex or large amounts of gratuitous 
>> > obscenity? Does it draw on specialized knowledge, such as understanding 
>> > of sailing and nautical matters or computer programming? The reader has 
>> > a right to know what she/he is in for.
>> >
>> > And on the subject of consideration: When replying to messages on the 
>> > listserv, please occasionally edit. I get the daily digest, and I need 
>> > to scroll through screen after screen of e-mail chains and screen after 
>> > screen of end of Stylist notices. The digest that I'm replying to right 
>> > now was so long that it crashed both my browsers...several times. So 
>> > please occasionally shorten the e-mail chains. Thanks.
>> >
>> > Solidarity and Peace,
>> > Kerry
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 6
>> > Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:47:15 -0400
>> > From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: [stylist] Folk music fans, my latest interview with
>> > singer-songwriter Steve Gillette
>> > Message-ID: <4BD85883.1090709 at epix.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
>> >
>> > Hi Friends,
>> > Even if you don't think you know Steve Gillette, you should know that
>> > he's written songs covered by Garth Brooks, Anne Murray, John Denver,
>> > the Knitty Gritty Dirt Band and many others. When I was in high school,
>> > in 1967 I was crazy about a song called "Back on the Street Again" by
>> > the Sunshine Company -- didn't figure out it was Steve's for many 
>> > years.
>> > Anyway, the link and blurb are below my name.
>> > Enjoy
>> >
>> > Sing Out! & Steve Gillette: a Journey into Social Consciousness
>> >
>> > April 18, 2010
>> >
>> > http://folkmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/sing-out-and-steve-gillette-a-journey-into-social-consciousness
>> >
>> > Singer-songwriter Steve Gillette shares his memories of folk music's
>> > Sing Out! magazine on the eve of its 60th anniversary and his hopes for
>> > its future.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > -- 
>> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
>> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>> >
>> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
>> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>> >
>> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>> >
>> > Follow me on Twitter:
>> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
>> >
>> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
>> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>> >
>> > Or, FaceBook:
>> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>> >
>> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>> >
>> > Apple I-Tunes
>> >
>> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>> >
>> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>> > www.padnfb.org
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> > Database version: 6.14880
>> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> >
>> >
>> > End of stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25
>> > ***************************************
>>
>> _________________________________________________________________
>> The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with 
>> Hotmail.
>> http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?tile=multicalendar&ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_5
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 2
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:57:36 -0500
>> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [stylist] Read Chapter 0 Joe Orozco
>> Message-ID: <SNT136-w3017307FBD60E4D4D25BEC4020 at phx.gbl>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>>
>> Joe,
>>
>>
>>
>> Good editing. This is something Ross would totally be into. Keep it 
>> coming.
>>
>>
>>
>> Bridgit P
>>
>> > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:00:14 -0500
>> >
>> > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
>> > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > You can reach the person managing the list at
>> > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>> >
>> > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
>> > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>> >
>> >
>> > Today's Topics:
>> >
>> > 1. Re: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24 (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> > 2. please help with kinks (Bridgit Pollpeter)
>> > 3. Re: Chapter 0 (Joe Orozco)
>> > 4. Re: please help with kinks (Donna Hill)
>> > 5. Re: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 22 (Kerry Thompson)
>> > 6. Folk music fans, my latest interview with singer-songwriter
>> > Steve Gillette (Donna Hill)
>> >
>> >
>> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 1
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:29:28 -0500
>> > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> > To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > Message-ID: <SNT136-w41E11642912E2F2DADC1E7C4030 at phx.gbl>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>> >
>> >
>> > Joe,
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > this is a good start. I just have a couple of general suggestions to 
>> > make.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Dialogue can be tricky because you don't want it to just be a filler. 
>> > Dialogue should always move the plot forward. We need to learn new info 
>> > and/or character development with each line of dialogue. Check and make 
>> > sure you don't need to cut any dialogue to make things more concise.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Keep the action moving. Especially with long sections of dialogue you 
>> > wwant to place some action. Try rewriting the narration into action. 
>> > Create scenes to keep the pacing especially with a mystery story.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Really good job. This is interesting. Use specifics where ever you can, 
>> > but I like the intrigue! *smile*
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit Pollpeter
>> >
>> > > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:00:08 -0500
>> > >
>> > > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
>> > > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > You can reach the person managing the list at
>> > > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
>> > > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Today's Topics:
>> > >
>> > > 1. Re: Chapter 0 (Neil Butters)
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Message: 1
>> > > Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:54:06 -0400
>> > > From: "Neil Butters" <neil.butters at sympatico.ca>
>> > > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > > Message-ID: <BLU0-SMTP8128FB7B587017399D4262E2040 at phx.gbl>
>> > > Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
>> > > reply-type=original
>> > >
>> > > Hi Joe,
>> > >
>> > > I agree with all the comments thus far; I think it's good. I think 
>> > > the
>> > > dialogue is fine, but see below. I have a fewe quibbles:
>> > >
>> > > First paragraph: ".sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a 
>> > > mysterious
>> > > letter would one day appear in their mailbox." - Whose mailbox? 
>> > > Christian's?
>> > > "They" in the paragraph is referring to the people after Christian, 
>> > > but it
>> > > isn't their mailbox.
>> > >
>> > > Same paragraph: "simply appear at the front door bearing news of the 
>> > > type
>> > > Christian and his family could do without." - I think "Could do 
>> > > without" is
>> > > fairly vague and often used as a punchline: "My mother-in-law is 
>> > > visiting.
>> > > That's something I could do without!" It doesn't seem sinister enough 
>> > > to me.
>> > >
>> > > I agree with the previous comment about the answering machine; I 
>> > > think you
>> > > should state that the dialogue is coming from the answering machine 
>> > > on the
>> > > same line as the dialogue itself. It is a bit confusing as you have 
>> > > it
>> > > written. It almost seems at first glance that Christian typed the 
>> > > message on
>> > > his laptop.
>> > >
>> > > I think you will need to add some dialogue tags. It is unclear who is
>> > > speaking the first line of dialogue when it follows a paragraph, 
>> > > e.g., ".the
>> > > blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > I know in this case it is pretty obvious who is speaking, but it 
>> > > won't
>> > > always be clear to the reader.
>> > >
>> > > I look forward to reading more.
>> > >
>> > > Neil
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > --------------------------------------------------
>> > > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > > Sent: Sunday, April 25, 2010 5:11 PM
>> > > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > > Subject: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > >
>> > > > Dear all,
>> > > >
>> > > > I wrote the material below in the span of an hour. Therefore, do 
>> > > > not
>> > > > expect
>> > > > anything great. It still needs a lot of development. In fact, it is
>> > > > Chapter 0 because I feel this may be a better beginning to my novel 
>> > > > after
>> > > > the suspense of the prologue, but for the moment I am especially
>> > > > interested
>> > > > in your assistance with dialogue. All suggestions are welcomed, and 
>> > > > for
>> > > > this chapter you needn't worry about offensive content. Cindy's 
>> > > > website
>> > > > recommendation looks like a great one. I'll reserve my sensitive 
>> > > > content
>> > > > for that venue if it would make people happy.
>> > > >
>> > > > ***
>> > > >
>> > > > Christian always knew they would come calling one day. He wasn't
>> > > > sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious letter would 
>> > > > one
>> > > > day
>> > > > appear in their mailbox. Maybe one morning he would open his e-mail 
>> > > > inbox
>> > > > to discover a message from an unidentified sender, but given their
>> > > > obsession
>> > > > with secrecy, it was more likely that someone from the old 
>> > > > fraternity
>> > > > would
>> > > > simply appear at the front door bearing news of the type Christian 
>> > > > and his
>> > > > family could do without.
>> > > > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> > > > fraternity would gamble with an unsecure line, but he had always 
>> > > > been
>> > > > right
>> > > > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would come as a 
>> > > > total
>> > > > surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the 
>> > > > inevitable
>> > > > encounter. On the morning the call came through he was deeply 
>> > > > immersed in
>> > > > the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had come to him, as 
>> > > > so
>> > > > many
>> > > > of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen 
>> > > > his
>> > > > family
>> > > > out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of 
>> > > > a
>> > > > promising plot.
>> > > > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an
>> > > > unidentified caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In his 
>> > > > feverish
>> > > > state of mind he only wanted to be left alone to fully concentrate 
>> > > > on the
>> > > > story unfurling under his fingers.
>> > > > "Mr. Adams, this is Don speaking.
>> > > > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes
>> > > > slowly moving to the answering machine that was now conveying a 
>> > > > clipped
>> > > > British accent from his past.
>> > > > "I trust you are well. It has been a while since we've spoken, and
>> > > > I am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > > > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in
>> > > > his seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > > > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest
>> > > > opportunity. If you are listening to me now, it would be preferable 
>> > > > that
>> > > > you pick up the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is 
>> > > > most
>> > > > urgent."
>> > > > Christian pondered it for a moment. He could ignore the call,
>> > > > pretend he was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare
>> > > > surfaced. That penetrating stare had always troubled Christian. Now 
>> > > > it
>> > > > was
>> > > > almost as though the man were in the room, daring him to be 
>> > > > foolish. He
>> > > > slowly reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to sound 
>> > > > calm and
>> > > > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was no need 
>> > > > to be
>> > > > afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > > > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > > > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > > > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > > > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > > > "We are not friends."
>> > > > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it
>> > > > has been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > > > "You're unbelievable."
>> > > > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So,
>> > > > let me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > > > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared
>> > > > for the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be far 
>> > > > preferable
>> > > > to
>> > > > the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > > "I have no brothers."
>> > > > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> > > > yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was 
>> > > > referring to
>> > > > the brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > > > "I left the fraternity."
>> > > > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though 
>> > > > exercising
>> > > > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the
>> > > > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > > > "I was told I could--"
>> > > > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer
>> > > > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your 
>> > > > membership and
>> > > > allegiance never existed?"
>> > > > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the
>> > > > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn cradled in 
>> > > > the arms
>> > > > of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that his 
>> > > > life had
>> > > > truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade into 
>> > > > distant
>> > > > memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he almost 
>> > > > grinned
>> > > > at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could just get away?
>> > > > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death.
>> > > > They had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable
>> > > > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family would 
>> > > > be best
>> > > > suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > > > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > > > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more
>> > > > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more 
>> > > > despicable.
>> > > > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not imagine, 
>> > > > but on
>> > > > the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > > > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > > > Christian sat forward. "You want me to just take in a boy I've
>> > > > never met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to in more 
>> > > > than
>> > > > eighteen years?"
>> > > > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > > > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled.
>> > > > "You're damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think you're 
>> > > > crazy to
>> > > > just call me up this way."
>> > > > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but.
>> > > > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet for 
>> > > > you? You
>> > > > have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have been 
>> > > > allowed
>> > > > to go about your business despite the concerns of several of the 
>> > > > brothers.
>> > > > Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of your 
>> > > > brethren
>> > > > should
>> > > > be an honor to you, especially since worthier members would have 
>> > > > been all
>> > > > too glad for the privilege."
>> > > > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you just
>> > > > can't call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being
>> > > > coerced
>> > > > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > > > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite
>> > > > how I view it, but you are right to assume that you do not really 
>> > > > have a
>> > > > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in
>> > > > approximately
>> > > > three months. This should give you ample time to prepare for his
>> > > > arrival."
>> > > > "And if I refuse?"
>> > > > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> > > >
>> > > > ***
>> > > >
>> > > > Joe Orozco
>> > > >
>> > > > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> > > > sleeves,
>> > > > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam 
>> > > > Ewing
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus
>> > > > signature
>> > > > database 5059 (20100425) __________
>> > > >
>> > > > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> > > >
>> > > > http://www.eset.com
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > _______________________________________________
>> > > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > > > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > > >
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>> > > > for
>> > > > stylist:
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>> > > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > ------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > _______________________________________________
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>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > End of stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 24
>> > > ***************************************
>> >
>> > _________________________________________________________________
>> > The New Busy is not the old busy. Search, chat and e-mail from your 
>> > inbox.
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>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 2
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:35:29 -0500
>> > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> > To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: [stylist] please help with kinks
>> > Message-ID: <SNT136-w11ED5DB054976C919E3DEDC4030 at phx.gbl>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252"
>> >
>> >
>> > Hello list,
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > This is like a second draft, but it needs so much polishing. I feel 
>> > like the end trails off and I am having the proverbial writer's block. 
>> > Let me know what you think.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > The parking lot of Crossroads Christian Center is desolate. The only 
>> > sound I hear as I walk towards the entrance is the nearby cars whizzing 
>> > down the highway, and the crunch of snow under foot. I pause before 
>> > opening the heavy metal door. The primal thump of music vibrates along 
>> > the cinder block walls of the building. The once familiar environment 
>> > places heaviness on my spirit.
>> > For ten years my family gave their life to this church. For ten years 
>> > my family was trampled on and eventually spit out. I stand here now 
>> > wishing to burn this abomination to the ground. I swing the door wide 
>> > and the thumping grows into a raucous musical tirade. My ears ring from 
>> > the volume. The only audio cue I can make out is the surround-sound 
>> > music that blares like a rock concert. Worship loses its meaning. Some 
>> > how a dolled-up woman belting center-stage as she is illuminated by 
>> > theatrical spotlights make it difficult to focus on Christ.
>> > I was raised Christian. I never thought to step too far outside what I 
>> > was taught. I was determined to keep the faith despite the dysfunction 
>> > of my family and my own bouts of depression. Growing up Christian does 
>> > not mean I escaped witnessing my mother?s lust for the material and my 
>> > work-a-holic father to busy to watch his children grow. Feeling 
>> > isolated from the rest of mankind for some quirk (referred to as 
>> > depression I had the misfortune of being born with) left me alone 
>> > except for the God who claimed to love me unconditionally. Doubts 
>> > crossed my mind, but ultimately my faith was bigger than any 
>> > misgivings. The wiggle of questions finally wormed their way to the 
>> > surface though. Homosexuality, pre-marital sex, burning in hell for 
>> > believing in a deity not named Christ; I no longer can ignore my doubts 
>> > in the name of faith. I do not believe (I never truly did) these are 
>> > mortal sins damning us to hell. I won?t go through the motions.
>> > A man steps to the podium as the crescendo of the music begins its 
>> > descent. He sputters a guttural cacophony of some long-lost ancient 
>> > language while the small congregation hoops and hollers. The worship 
>> > leader belts her agreement. A pagan tribe swirls and leaps around a 
>> > roaring fire in my mind as I cringe and fight my instinct to dash 
>> > towards the microphone and begin my own tirade. ?What the hell is wrong 
>> > with you people? Hypocrites and self-righteous, pig-headed bigots.?
>> > My family moved to Council Bluffs towards the end of my senior year of 
>> > high school. My dad was hired as the Head of Maintenance with his 
>> > Bachelor?s in business and MBA. He had left the world of business to 
>> > pursue the ministry though. Ministry became a family affair. Mom and my 
>> > three siblings were involved in some capacity, but it was Dad?s 
>> > passion. Sunday school, worship team, nursery, children?s church, we 
>> > all had our hand in some area. Crossroads Christian Center was an 
>> > Assembly-of-God church pastored by a long-time friend of the family. 
>> > The Friend, a self-proclaimed former drug addict who viewed higher 
>> > education as a tool of the devil, felt my dad was suited to the life of 
>> > cleaning up after others. Dad, who was in the process of receiving his 
>> > seminary training, was not trusted to ?Shepard? people. In a short 
>> > period of time, though, the congregation would turn to my dad for 
>> > advice and counseling, and eventually he was asked to perform weddings 
>> > and funerals. My dad is well-respected in the community. The Friend, 
>> > well he has grown jealous and spiteful. When Dad attempted to apply for 
>> > a pastor position in another city, the Pastor-friend said, ?You really 
>> > don?t belong in the ministry. You are being tempted and should resist. 
>> > Your place is here, keeping the church beautiful for the Lord.?
>> > The compound-like church sits on the western end of town. I always 
>> > hated the building. It is dark and no light enters. My dad finally 
>> > stepped out on the infamous faith I was always told about. ?All things 
>> > are possible with Christ.? The frenzied Sunday morning sermons and 
>> > concert-like worship hour did nothing for the soul. ?Rejoice in the 
>> > Lord always,? spread in a jovial arch above the choir loft as the 
>> > Pastor raved about sin on Sunday mornings. ?This world is going to 
>> > hell. Maybe a few Lutherans and Catholics will be in heaven, but it is 
>> > up to us to keep the faith. All you who listened to secular music or 
>> > watched television last night must repent and become holy for the 
>> > Lord.? The Pastor paced the stage like a tiger looking for his next 
>> > prey.
>> > Yet, I kept my faith in tact. I recognized this place for what it was, 
>> > but the fibers of my being still knew and trusted the core of this 
>> > religion called Christianity. I saw the hypocrisy and was disgusted 
>> > with the politics, but I thought God was bigger than human intrigue and 
>> > ambition. How do I come to mistrust it all now? Mornings spent sitting 
>> > at the well-manicured feet of my mother while she reads from the 
>> > story-book full of Bible tales plays through my mind. The book is white 
>> > and a Caucasian Jesus garbed in blue and white sits among a group of 
>> > contemporary-dressed children. I loved the stories of bravery and 
>> > heroism and romance. All pointed back to the salvation of this 
>> > wonderful savior. I felt comfort in knowing I was loved and accepted 
>> > even if home life was rocky. I read every night in bed with my red 
>> > flash-light trying to ignore the muffled shouting seeping from my 
>> > parent?s bedroom. I would hunker down among my blankets with the pink 
>> > Cheerbear Carebear and brown stuffed cocker-spaniel to keep me company. 
>> > We read the story of Ester, the beautiful young Hebrew girl chosen to 
>> > marry the pagan king. Her trust in God saved not only her life, but the 
>> > lives of her fellow Hebrews. God?s love was greater than any evil and 
>> > those who trust Him are showered with this love. As I shot into a teen 
>> > I clung to this idea of unconditional love. Knocks upside my head 
>> > delivered in frustration by my parents were no match for the love of 
>> > Christ. Sitting, crying silently, unable to breathe, I knew I was held 
>> > in loving hands somewhere.
>> > That assurance is gone now. I believe in a higher power, but who they 
>> > are, I can?t answer that. My parents hang from the ropes of their faith 
>> > even though they are constantly knocked down. Whether it is over-due 
>> > bills or rejections after interviews or constant life-threatening 
>> > illnesses, my parents find their comfort in Christ. This differs from 
>> > the parents of my childhood. I see the change and want to believe it is 
>> > all due to the grace of God, but I question. The transformation of my 
>> > money-hungry, designer suit wearing, quick to anger father has done a 
>> > one-eighty. The remnants of my childhood father no longer remain. I 
>> > remember the abuse, but that man left. This gentle man spends hours 
>> > watching his grandchildren play on the Moonwalk instead of enjoying the 
>> > baseball game in the stadium. When sheets of rain keep me from 
>> > attempting a dash to the bus stop, Dad is on speed dial ready to drop 
>> > me off where I need to go. This is the man I love, and this is the man 
>> > I wish to protect from a slanderous, spiteful Pastor who did nothing 
>> > but give grief to those who opposed him. Dad knew the truth and 
>> > confronted the Pastor. Dad spoke in his usual soft tones while the 
>> > Pastor shifted his eyes around and gripped the edge of his desk.
>> > ?You're out of line brother,? Dad said.
>> > ?I?m out of line? You don?t know who you are dealing with,? the Pastor 
>> > said. His nostrils flared as he stared Dad down.
>> > ?You?re ostracizing people who want to help. No one is trying to 
>> > replace you.? Dad folded his hands and smiled into the red, angry face 
>> > of the Pastor.
>> > ?You all want to take me down. Satan is speaking through you. I know 
>> > your secrets.?
>> > ?Brother, I have no secrets. I?m not proud of my past, but God?s 
>> > forgiveness has granted me mercy.?
>> > ?Your lies and deceit are what keep you from providing for your 
>> > family.? The Pastor smirked.
>> > Dad?s eyes looked down for a moment, and he met the Pastor?s glare with 
>> > remorse. ?I?ve made mistakes, and my family has had to pay for them, 
>> > but I?m trying to make up for it.?
>> > ?Look what your education got you. You clean up after others.? He 
>> > stood, grabbing his black leather jacket purchased at Wilson?s.
>> > Dad sat and turned in his chair. Zipping up his faded sweat-shirt he 
>> > said, ?The least of you shall be first, and the first shall be last.? 
>> > Dad passed through the door before the Pastor said anything.
>> > My dad never loses sight of his faith. For years he has struggled to 
>> > support his family, and at fifty-one he still scrambles to pay the 
>> > bills. Never once does his belief in god waver. Prayer and meditation 
>> > bring him peace. I was taught that without the peace of God people are 
>> > empty and have no purpose. I have not experienced this emptiness 
>> > without God. I wonder where my faith went, but I am at peace with who I 
>> > am. Perhaps it is all about perception and preference. If I find 
>> > contentment, is it necessary to know where it comes from? I admire 
>> > those who stick to their guns no matter what life throws at them, but 
>> > my spirit is not in turmoil. Maybe one day I will find the right light 
>> > switch and the beliefs I held for so long will return. For now I find 
>> > new ways of experiencing God. In the love I have for my husband and his 
>> > love in me. The joy of nephew and nieces who have become my surrogate 
>> > children. The fleeting anger I feel towards Crossroads Christian Center 
>> > and the Pastor only solidifies my new belief that no one person or 
>> > group has all the answers.
>> > While the Pastor continues his message of darkness and fear, I find a 
>> > religion based on love. The gentle hand sweeping hair from my face to 
>> > kiss me good-bye every morning as I sleep. The 15-month-old Curly Sue 
>> > who wraps her chubby arms around my neck every time I see her. Even the 
>> > high-strung puppy that seems starved for attention as she jumps into my 
>> > lap. Most importantly is my dad who would give his life for any of his 
>> > children. Isn?t this what Jesus taught? To love one another. I have an 
>> > abundance of love in my life, and this allows me to touch God everyday.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > _________________________________________________________________
>> > Hotmail is redefining busy with tools for the New Busy. Get more from 
>> > your inbox.
>> > http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_2
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 3
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 14:14:10 -0400
>> > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> > Message-ID: <12F1D897EAB74A8C80977B8546BD4C3B at Rufus>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
>> >
>> > Forgive the delay in getting this out, but I just wanted to thank 
>> > everyone
>> > for their candid critiques. I'm going to try to work in people's
>> > suggestions where possible and send a revised draft later with an
>> > accompanying prologue. Thanks so much again for the feedback!
>> >
>> > Joe
>> >
>> > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> > sleeves,
>> > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> > [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Neil Butters
>> > Sent: Monday, April 26, 2010 1:54 PM
>> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> >
>> > Hi Joe,
>> >
>> > I agree with all the comments thus far; I think it's good. I think the
>> > dialogue is fine, but see below. I have a fewe quibbles:
>> >
>> > First paragraph: ".sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a
>> > mysterious
>> > letter would one day appear in their mailbox." - Whose mailbox?
>> > Christian's?
>> > "They" in the paragraph is referring to the people after
>> > Christian, but it
>> > isn't their mailbox.
>> >
>> > Same paragraph: "simply appear at the front door bearing news
>> > of the type
>> > Christian and his family could do without." - I think "Could do
>> > without" is
>> > fairly vague and often used as a punchline: "My mother-in-law
>> > is visiting.
>> > That's something I could do without!" It doesn't seem sinister
>> > enough to me.
>> >
>> > I agree with the previous comment about the answering machine;
>> > I think you
>> > should state that the dialogue is coming from the answering
>> > machine on the
>> > same line as the dialogue itself. It is a bit confusing as you have it
>> > written. It almost seems at first glance that Christian typed
>> > the message on
>> > his laptop.
>> >
>> > I think you will need to add some dialogue tags. It is unclear who is
>> > speaking the first line of dialogue when it follows a
>> > paragraph, e.g., ".the
>> > blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > I know in this case it is pretty obvious who is speaking, but it won't
>> > always be clear to the reader.
>> >
>> > I look forward to reading more.
>> >
>> > Neil
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --------------------------------------------------
>> > From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> > Sent: Sunday, April 25, 2010 5:11 PM
>> > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> >
>> > > Dear all,
>> > >
>> > > I wrote the material below in the span of an hour. Therefore, do not
>> > > expect
>> > > anything great. It still needs a lot of development. In fact, it is
>> > > Chapter 0 because I feel this may be a better beginning to my
>> > novel after
>> > > the suspense of the prologue, but for the moment I am especially
>> > > interested
>> > > in your assistance with dialogue. All suggestions are
>> > welcomed, and for
>> > > this chapter you needn't worry about offensive content.
>> > Cindy's website
>> > > recommendation looks like a great one. I'll reserve my
>> > sensitive content
>> > > for that venue if it would make people happy.
>> > >
>> > > ***
>> > >
>> > > Christian always knew they would come calling one day. He wasn't
>> > > sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious
>> > letter would one
>> > > day
>> > > appear in their mailbox. Maybe one morning he would open his
>> > e-mail inbox
>> > > to discover a message from an unidentified sender, but given their
>> > > obsession
>> > > with secrecy, it was more likely that someone from the old fraternity
>> > > would
>> > > simply appear at the front door bearing news of the type
>> > Christian and his
>> > > family could do without.
>> > > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> > > fraternity would gamble with an unsecure line, but he had always been
>> > > right
>> > > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would
>> > come as a total
>> > > surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the
>> > inevitable
>> > > encounter. On the morning the call came through he was
>> > deeply immersed in
>> > > the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had come to
>> > him, as so
>> > > many
>> > > of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen his
>> > > family
>> > > out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of a
>> > > promising plot.
>> > > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an
>> > > unidentified caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In
>> > his feverish
>> > > state of mind he only wanted to be left alone to fully
>> > concentrate on the
>> > > story unfurling under his fingers.
>> > > "Mr. Adams, this is Don speaking.
>> > > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes
>> > > slowly moving to the answering machine that was now conveying
>> > a clipped
>> > > British accent from his past.
>> > > "I trust you are well. It has been a while since we've spoken, and
>> > > I am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in
>> > > his seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest
>> > > opportunity. If you are listening to me now, it would be
>> > preferable that
>> > > you pick up the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is most
>> > > urgent."
>> > > Christian pondered it for a moment. He could ignore the call,
>> > > pretend he was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare
>> > > surfaced. That penetrating stare had always troubled
>> > Christian. Now it
>> > > was
>> > > almost as though the man were in the room, daring him to be
>> > foolish. He
>> > > slowly reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to
>> > sound calm and
>> > > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was
>> > no need to be
>> > > afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > > "We are not friends."
>> > > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it
>> > > has been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > > "You're unbelievable."
>> > > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So,
>> > > let me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared
>> > > for the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be
>> > far preferable
>> > > to
>> > > the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > > "I have no brothers."
>> > > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> > > yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was
>> > referring to
>> > > the brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > > "I left the fraternity."
>> > > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though exercising
>> > > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the
>> > > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > > "I was told I could--"
>> > > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer
>> > > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your
>> > membership and
>> > > allegiance never existed?"
>> > > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the
>> > > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn
>> > cradled in the arms
>> > > of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that
>> > his life had
>> > > truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade
>> > into distant
>> > > memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he
>> > almost grinned
>> > > at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could just get away?
>> > > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death.
>> > > They had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable
>> > > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family
>> > would be best
>> > > suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more
>> > > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more
>> > despicable.
>> > > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not
>> > imagine, but on
>> > > the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > > Christian sat forward. "You want me to just take in a boy I've
>> > > never met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to
>> > in more than
>> > > eighteen years?"
>> > > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled.
>> > > "You're damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think
>> > you're crazy to
>> > > just call me up this way."
>> > > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but.
>> > > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet
>> > for you? You
>> > > have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have
>> > been allowed
>> > > to go about your business despite the concerns of several of
>> > the brothers.
>> > > Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of your brethren
>> > > should
>> > > be an honor to you, especially since worthier members would
>> > have been all
>> > > too glad for the privilege."
>> > > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you just
>> > > can't call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being
>> > > coerced
>> > > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite
>> > > how I view it, but you are right to assume that you do not
>> > really have a
>> > > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in
>> > > approximately
>> > > three months. This should give you ample time to prepare for his
>> > > arrival."
>> > > "And if I refuse?"
>> > > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> > >
>> > > ***
>> > >
>> > > Joe Orozco
>> > >
>> > > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up
>> > their sleeves,
>> > > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus
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>> > > database 5059 (20100425) __________
>> > >
>> > > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> > >
>> > > http://www.eset.com
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > _______________________________________________
>> > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > >
>> > > stylist mailing list
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
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>> > > stylist:
>> > >
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/neil.bu
>> > tters%40sympatico.ca
>> > >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
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>> >
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>> > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
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>> >
>> > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> >
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>> > signature
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>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 4
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:21:05 -0400
>> > From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
>> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] please help with kinks
>> > Message-ID: <4BD73921.4000000 at epix.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252; format=flowed
>> >
>> > Bridget,
>> > Is this a story or an autobiographical memoir? Maybe you posted before
>> > and I didn't catch it, but I like to know if I'm reading a short story,
>> > the first chapter of a novel or creative nonfiction. It makes a
>> > difference in terms of critique.
>> > Donna
>> >
>> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
>> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>> >
>> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
>> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>> >
>> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>> >
>> > Follow me on Twitter:
>> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
>> >
>> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
>> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>> >
>> > Or, FaceBook:
>> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>> >
>> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>> >
>> > Apple I-Tunes
>> >
>> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>> >
>> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>> > www.padnfb.org
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
>> > > Hello list,
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > This is like a second draft, but it needs so much polishing. I feel 
>> > > like the end trails off and I am having the proverbial writer's 
>> > > block. Let me know what you think.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Bridgit
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The parking lot of Crossroads Christian Center is desolate. The only 
>> > > sound I hear as I walk towards the entrance is the nearby cars 
>> > > whizzing down the highway, and the crunch of snow under foot. I pause 
>> > > before opening the heavy metal door. The primal thump of music 
>> > > vibrates along the cinder block walls of the building. The once 
>> > > familiar environment places heaviness on my spirit.
>> > > For ten years my family gave their life to this church. For ten years 
>> > > my family was trampled on and eventually spit out. I stand here now 
>> > > wishing to burn this abomination to the ground. I swing the door wide 
>> > > and the thumping grows into a raucous musical tirade. My ears ring 
>> > > from the volume. The only audio cue I can make out is the 
>> > > surround-sound music that blares like a rock concert. Worship loses 
>> > > its meaning. Some how a dolled-up woman belting center-stage as she 
>> > > is illuminated by theatrical spotlights make it difficult to focus on 
>> > > Christ.
>> > > I was raised Christian. I never thought to step too far outside what 
>> > > I was taught. I was determined to keep the faith despite the 
>> > > dysfunction of my family and my own bouts of depression. Growing up 
>> > > Christian does not mean I escaped witnessing my mother?s lust for the 
>> > > material and my work-a-holic father to busy to watch his children 
>> > > grow. Feeling isolated from the rest of mankind for some quirk 
>> > > (referred to as depression I had the misfortune of being born with) 
>> > > left me alone except for the God who claimed to love me 
>> > > unconditionally. Doubts crossed my mind, but ultimately my faith was 
>> > > bigger than any misgivings. The wiggle of questions finally wormed 
>> > > their way to the surface though. Homosexuality, pre-marital sex, 
>> > > burning in hell for believing in a deity not named Christ; I no 
>> > > longer can ignore my doubts in the name of faith. I do not believe (I 
>> > > never truly did) these are mortal sins damning us to hell. I won?t go 
>> > > through the motions.
>> > > A man steps to the podium as the crescendo of the music begins its 
>> > > descent. He sputters a guttural cacophony of some long-lost ancient 
>> > > language while the small congregation hoops and hollers. The worship 
>> > > leader belts her agreement. A pagan tribe swirls and leaps around a 
>> > > roaring fire in my mind as I cringe and fight my instinct to dash 
>> > > towards the microphone and begin my own tirade. ?What the hell is 
>> > > wrong with you people? Hypocrites and self-righteous, pig-headed 
>> > > bigots.?
>> > > My family moved to Council Bluffs towards the end of my senior year 
>> > > of high school. My dad was hired as the Head of Maintenance with his 
>> > > Bachelor?s in business and MBA. He had left the world of business to 
>> > > pursue the ministry though. Ministry became a family affair. Mom and 
>> > > my three siblings were involved in some capacity, but it was Dad?s 
>> > > passion. Sunday school, worship team, nursery, children?s church, we 
>> > > all had our hand in some area. Crossroads Christian Center was an 
>> > > Assembly-of-God church pastored by a long-time friend of the family. 
>> > > The Friend, a self-proclaimed former drug addict who viewed higher 
>> > > education as a tool of the devil, felt my dad was suited to the life 
>> > > of cleaning up after others. Dad, who was in the process of receiving 
>> > > his seminary training, was not trusted to ?Shepard? people. In a 
>> > > short period of time, though, the congregation would turn to my dad 
>> > > for advice and counseling, and eventually he was asked to perform 
>> > > weddings and funerals. My dad is well-respected in the community. The 
>> > > Friend, well he has grown jealous and spiteful. When Dad attempted to 
>> > > apply for a pastor position in another city, the Pastor-friend said, 
>> > > ?You really don?t belong in the ministry. You are being tempted and 
>> > > should resist. Your place is here, keeping the church beautiful for 
>> > > the Lord.?
>> > > The compound-like church sits on the western end of town. I always 
>> > > hated the building. It is dark and no light enters. My dad finally 
>> > > stepped out on the infamous faith I was always told about. ?All 
>> > > things are possible with Christ.? The frenzied Sunday morning sermons 
>> > > and concert-like worship hour did nothing for the soul. ?Rejoice in 
>> > > the Lord always,? spread in a jovial arch above the choir loft as the 
>> > > Pastor raved about sin on Sunday mornings. ?This world is going to 
>> > > hell. Maybe a few Lutherans and Catholics will be in heaven, but it 
>> > > is up to us to keep the faith. All you who listened to secular music 
>> > > or watched television last night must repent and become holy for the 
>> > > Lord.? The Pastor paced the stage like a tiger looking for his next 
>> > > prey.
>> > > Yet, I kept my faith in tact. I recognized this place for what it 
>> > > was, but the fibers of my being still knew and trusted the core of 
>> > > this religion called Christianity. I saw the hypocrisy and was 
>> > > disgusted with the politics, but I thought God was bigger than human 
>> > > intrigue and ambition. How do I come to mistrust it all now? Mornings 
>> > > spent sitting at the well-manicured feet of my mother while she reads 
>> > > from the story-book full of Bible tales plays through my mind. The 
>> > > book is white and a Caucasian Jesus garbed in blue and white sits 
>> > > among a group of contemporary-dressed children. I loved the stories 
>> > > of bravery and heroism and romance. All pointed back to the salvation 
>> > > of this wonderful savior. I felt comfort in knowing I was loved and 
>> > > accepted even if home life was rocky. I read every night in bed with 
>> > > my red flash-light trying to ignore the muffled shouting seeping from 
>> > > my parent?s bedroom. I would hunker down among my blankets with the 
>> > > pink Cheerbear Carebear and brown stuffed cocker-spaniel to keep me 
>> > > company. We read the story of Ester, the beautiful young Hebrew girl 
>> > > chosen to marry the pagan king. Her trust in God saved not only her 
>> > > life, but the lives of her fellow Hebrews. God?s love was greater 
>> > > than any evil and those who trust Him are showered with this love. As 
>> > > I shot into a teen I clung to this idea of unconditional love. Knocks 
>> > > upside my head delivered in frustration by my parents were no match 
>> > > for the love of Christ. Sitting, crying silently, unable to breathe, 
>> > > I knew I was held in loving hands somewhere.
>> > > That assurance is gone now. I believe in a higher power, but who they 
>> > > are, I can?t answer that. My parents hang from the ropes of their 
>> > > faith even though they are constantly knocked down. Whether it is 
>> > > over-due bills or rejections after interviews or constant 
>> > > life-threatening illnesses, my parents find their comfort in Christ. 
>> > > This differs from the parents of my childhood. I see the change and 
>> > > want to believe it is all due to the grace of God, but I question. 
>> > > The transformation of my money-hungry, designer suit wearing, quick 
>> > > to anger father has done a one-eighty. The remnants of my childhood 
>> > > father no longer remain. I remember the abuse, but that man left. 
>> > > This gentle man spends hours watching his grandchildren play on the 
>> > > Moonwalk instead of enjoying the baseball game in the stadium. When 
>> > > sheets of rain keep me from attempting a dash to the bus stop, Dad is 
>> > > on speed dial ready to drop me off where I need to go. This is the 
>> > > man I love, and this is the man I wish to protect from a slanderous, 
>> > > spiteful Pastor who did nothing but give grief to those who opposed 
>> > > him. Dad knew the truth and confronted the Pastor. Dad spoke in his 
>> > > usual soft tones while the Pastor shifted his eyes around and gripped 
>> > > the edge of his desk.
>> > > ?You're out of line brother,? Dad said.
>> > > ?I?m out of line? You don?t know who you are dealing with,? the 
>> > > Pastor said. His nostrils flared as he stared Dad down.
>> > > ?You?re ostracizing people who want to help. No one is trying to 
>> > > replace you.? Dad folded his hands and smiled into the red, angry 
>> > > face of the Pastor.
>> > > ?You all want to take me down. Satan is speaking through you. I know 
>> > > your secrets.?
>> > > ?Brother, I have no secrets. I?m not proud of my past, but God?s 
>> > > forgiveness has granted me mercy.?
>> > > ?Your lies and deceit are what keep you from providing for your 
>> > > family.? The Pastor smirked.
>> > > Dad?s eyes looked down for a moment, and he met the Pastor?s glare 
>> > > with remorse. ?I?ve made mistakes, and my family has had to pay for 
>> > > them, but I?m trying to make up for it.?
>> > > ?Look what your education got you. You clean up after others.? He 
>> > > stood, grabbing his black leather jacket purchased at Wilson?s.
>> > > Dad sat and turned in his chair. Zipping up his faded sweat-shirt he 
>> > > said, ?The least of you shall be first, and the first shall be last.? 
>> > > Dad passed through the door before the Pastor said anything.
>> > > My dad never loses sight of his faith. For years he has struggled to 
>> > > support his family, and at fifty-one he still scrambles to pay the 
>> > > bills. Never once does his belief in god waver. Prayer and meditation 
>> > > bring him peace. I was taught that without the peace of God people 
>> > > are empty and have no purpose. I have not experienced this emptiness 
>> > > without God. I wonder where my faith went, but I am at peace with who 
>> > > I am. Perhaps it is all about perception and preference. If I find 
>> > > contentment, is it necessary to know where it comes from? I admire 
>> > > those who stick to their guns no matter what life throws at them, but 
>> > > my spirit is not in turmoil. Maybe one day I will find the right 
>> > > light switch and the beliefs I held for so long will return.. For now 
>> > > I find new ways of experiencing God. In the love I have for my 
>> > > husband and his love in me. The joy of nephew and nieces who have 
>> > > become my surrogate children. The fleeting anger I feel towards 
>> > > Crossroads Christian Center and the Pastor only solidifies my new 
>> > > belief that no one person or group has all the answers.
>> > > While the Pastor continues his message of darkness and fear, I find a 
>> > > religion based on love. The gentle hand sweeping hair from my face to 
>> > > kiss me good-bye every morning as I sleep. The 15-month-old Curly Sue 
>> > > who wraps her chubby arms around my neck every time I see her. Even 
>> > > the high-strung puppy that seems starved for attention as she jumps 
>> > > into my lap. Most importantly is my dad who would give his life for 
>> > > any of his children. Isn?t this what Jesus taught? To love one 
>> > > another. I have an abundance of love in my life, and this allows me 
>> > > to touch God everyday.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > _________________________________________________________________
>> > > Hotmail is redefining busy with tools for the New Busy. Get more from 
>> > > your inbox.
>> > > http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_2
>> > > _______________________________________________
>> > > Writers Division web site:
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>> > > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > >
>> > > stylist mailing list
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>> > > stylist:
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>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
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>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 5
>> > Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:54:02 -0400 (EDT)
>> > From: Kerry Thompson <uinen at earthlink.net>
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 22
>> > Message-ID:
>> > <15024538.1272419642240.JavaMail.root at wamui-june.atl.sa.earthlink.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
>> >
>> > Joe, RE: Chapter 0
>> >
>> > I've done some editing. See what you think. I agree with those who have 
>> > commented that you need more dialogue tags.
>> >
>> > ***
>> >
>> > Christian always knew the fraternity would come calling one day. He 
>> > wasn't sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious letter 
>> > would appear in the mailbox. Maybe he would open his e-mail inbox to 
>> > discover a message from an unidentified sender. But given their 
>> > obsession with secrecy, it was more likely that someone would simply 
>> > appear at the front door. However it came, the contact would mean 
>> > trouble.
>> > They chose the telephone. Christian never would have guessed the 
>> > fraternity would gamble with a non-secure line, but he had been right 
>> > to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would come as a 
>> > total surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the 
>> > inevitable encounter. On the morning the call came through he was 
>> > deeply immersed in the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had 
>> > come to him, as so many of them did, without forethought, and by the 
>> > time he'd seen his family out the door, the kernel of an idea had 
>> > swelled into the makings of a promising plot.
>> > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an unidentified 
>> > caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In his feverish state of 
>> > mind he only wanted to be left alone to concentrate on the story 
>> > unfurling under his fingers.
>> > "Mr. Adams,? the voice said from the answering machine?s speaker, ?this 
>> > is Don speaking.
>> > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes slowly 
>> > moving to the machine. He knew that clipped British accent.
>> > "I trust you are well. It has been some time since we've spoken, and I 
>> > am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in his 
>> > seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest convenience. 
>> > If you are listening to me now, it would be preferable that you pick up 
>> > the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is most urgent."
>> > Christian pondered for a moment. He could ignore the call, pretend he 
>> > was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare surfaced. That 
>> > penetrating stare had always troubled Christian. Now it was almost as 
>> > though the man were in the room, daring him to be foolish. He slowly 
>> > reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to sound calm and 
>> > collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was no need to 
>> > be afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > "We are not friends."
>> > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it has 
>> > been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > "You're unbelievable."
>> > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So, let 
>> > me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared for 
>> > the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be far preferable 
>> > to the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > "I have no brothers."
>> > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically, yes, you 
>> > are correct, but of course you know full well I was referring to the 
>> > brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > "I left the fraternity."
>> > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though exercising 
>> > immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the 
>> > fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > "I was told I could--"
>> > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer 
>> > bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your membership 
>> > and allegiance never existed?"
>> > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the 
>> > fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn cradled in the 
>> > arms of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that his 
>> > life had truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade 
>> > into distant memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he 
>> > almost grinned at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could 
>> > just get away?
>> > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death. They 
>> > had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable 
>> > guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family would be 
>> > best suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more 
>> > relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more despicable. 
>> > Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not imagine, but 
>> > on the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > Christian sat forward. "You want me just to take in a boy I've never 
>> > met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to in more than 
>> > eighteen years?"
>> > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled. "You're 
>> > damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think you're crazy to call 
>> > me up this way."
>> > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but. 
>> > "Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet for you? 
>> > You have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have been 
>> > allowed to go about your business despite the concerns of several of 
>> > the brothers. Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of 
>> > your brethren should be an honor to you, especially since worthier 
>> > members would have been all too glad for the privilege."
>> > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you can't just 
>> > call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being coerced 
>> > into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite how I 
>> > view it, but you are right to assume that you do not really have a 
>> > choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in 
>> > approximately three months. This should give you ample time to prepare 
>> > for his arrival."
>> > "And if I refuse?"
>> > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> >
>> > ***
>> >
>> > Joe, you should be aware - everyone should be aware - that putting your 
>> > work on a public web site constitutes publication. Since it has been 
>> > "published," no editor will touch it except those few who accept 
>> > reprints.
>> >
>> > This is not nitpicking or splitting hairs; it is what professional 
>> > writers have told me.
>> >
>> > There are ways of putting work on the Internet and yet not having that 
>> > work on publicly accessible sites. For instance, you can create a 
>> > private blog which only selected, invited people can read. Perhaps you 
>> > should look into something of the kind.
>> >
>> > As to labels and warnings, I myself find them helpful. Some people 
>> > might not want to read a piece containing violence or might appreciate 
>> > being forewarned about the content. Similarly, some people might not be 
>> > interested in reading a Mystery, a Romance or a Western. Accurate and 
>> > considerate labeling in such a case would help save everyone time and 
>> > frustration. It seems to me that this is not a matter of censorship or 
>> > totalitarian tactics, but rather consideration of others.
>> >
>> > Naturally, there is a sense in which this whole discussion is moot. As 
>> > several people have pointed out, we as a group must conform to the 
>> > overall NFBNET rules if we want to continue using an NFBNET listserv. 
>> > But, regardless of what the rules may be, common courtesy ought to 
>> > guide us all. It is only courteous when posting a piece of work to give 
>> > a general discription. Is it fiction, nonfiction or poetry? What genre, 
>> > Science Fiction, Adventure, True Crime etc., does it belong to? Does it 
>> > contain violence or graphic sex or large amounts of gratuitous 
>> > obscenity? Does it draw on specialized knowledge, such as understanding 
>> > of sailing and nautical matters or computer programming? The reader has 
>> > a right to know what she/he is in for.
>> >
>> > And on the subject of consideration: When replying to messages on the 
>> > listserv, please occasionally edit. I get the daily digest, and I need 
>> > to scroll through screen after screen of e-mail chains and screen after 
>> > screen of end of Stylist notices. The digest that I'm replying to right 
>> > now was so long that it crashed both my browsers...several times. So 
>> > please occasionally shorten the e-mail chains. Thanks.
>> >
>> > Solidarity and Peace,
>> > Kerry
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > Message: 6
>> > Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:47:15 -0400
>> > From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
>> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > Subject: [stylist] Folk music fans, my latest interview with
>> > singer-songwriter Steve Gillette
>> > Message-ID: <4BD85883.1090709 at epix.net>
>> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
>> >
>> > Hi Friends,
>> > Even if you don't think you know Steve Gillette, you should know that
>> > he's written songs covered by Garth Brooks, Anne Murray, John Denver,
>> > the Knitty Gritty Dirt Band and many others. When I was in high school,
>> > in 1967 I was crazy about a song called "Back on the Street Again" by
>> > the Sunshine Company -- didn't figure out it was Steve's for many 
>> > years.
>> > Anyway, the link and blurb are below my name.
>> > Enjoy
>> >
>> > Sing Out! & Steve Gillette: a Journey into Social Consciousness
>> >
>> > April 18, 2010
>> >
>> > http://folkmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/sing-out-and-steve-gillette-a-journey-into-social-consciousness
>> >
>> > Singer-songwriter Steve Gillette shares his memories of folk music's
>> > Sing Out! magazine on the eve of its 60th anniversary and his hopes for
>> > its future.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > -- 
>> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
>> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>> >
>> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
>> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>> >
>> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>> >
>> > Follow me on Twitter:
>> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
>> >
>> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
>> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>> >
>> > Or, FaceBook:
>> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>> >
>> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>> >
>> > Apple I-Tunes
>> >
>> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>> >
>> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>> > www.padnfb.org
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> > Database version: 6.14880
>> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>> >
>> >
>> > ------------------------------
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> >
>> >
>> > End of stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25
>> > ***************************************
>>
>> _________________________________________________________________
>> The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with 
>> Hotmail.
>> http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?tile=multicalendar&ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_5
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 3
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:49:29 -0700
>> From: "Shelley J. Alongi" <qobells at roadrunner.com>
>> To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
>> Subject: [stylist] From Shelley Metrolink 708 Being there Tomorrow
>> Message-ID: <003601cae70b$ed7450c0$0200000a at DDF55J31>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>> Ella FitzGerlad is playing in the background here. You'll have to read to 
>> find out why. And I keep thinking of that engineer, all of them. And one 
>> was lucky and one keeps asking if I'll be there tomorrow. he only has 
>> three days left. So many events and it's only Wednesday.
>> http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smreadtitle.cgi?action=display&file=newtitles/AlongiSJ-Metrolink708BeingThereTomorrow.htm
>> Shelley J. Alongi
>> Home Office: (714)869-3207
>> **
>> NFBWD "Slate and Style" editor
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>
>> **
>> "What sparked your interest in trains?"
>> "The face of an engineer who knew he was going to get killed by a freight 
>> train."
>> ---SJA for anyone who wants to know
>> To read essays on my journey through the Chatsworth train accident, train 
>> travel, and now meeting the engineers, Metrolink 111 or other interests 
>> click on 
>> http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=&author=AlongiSJ&alpha=A
>>
>> updated November 1, 2009
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 4
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:54:07 -0400 (EDT)
>> From: Kerry Thompson <uinen at earthlink.net>
>> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 25
>> Message-ID:
>> <9877988.1272484447342.JavaMail.root at wamui-cynical.atl.sa.earthlink.net>
>>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
>>
>> Hi friends,
>>
>> Bridget, I don't get the point of your piece. From the opening, I 
>> wondered if the narrator was going to throw a bomb into the center, for 
>> instance. The ideas are jumbled, don't progress logically. The writing 
>> itself is, forgive me, clunky. You're trying too hard. Relax and let it 
>> flow. Also, there are a few infelicities of word choice that you need to 
>> rethink. Most obviously, feet are not manicured, they are pedicured.
>>
>> There?s a lot of emotion and strength in this piece. Maybe you need to 
>> set it aside for a while, a few weeks at least, to get some distance. 
>> That might help you sort out exactly what?s going on here and maybe 
>> expand each section. I get the feeling this is the kernel of an idea that 
>> can be realized as a much longer, more detailed piece, maybe novelette or 
>> novella length. There?s a lot of material here to explore.
>>
>> And, I almost forgot; you need dialogue tags. I know they?re currently 
>> unfashionable, but besides being very helpful to the reader, they can 
>> also help the writer. You can use them to further the action and 
>> develop/display character. This piece has a good deal of potential. But, 
>> I?m afraid you have a lot of work ahead of you to bring it to fruition.
>>
>> Donna, I enjoyed your article.
>>
>> Solidarity and Peace,
>> Kerry
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 5
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:44:45 -0500
>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <F8782E3F995047169C415757B0CD10D4 at RobertLesliePC>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>
>> Division and STYLIST members:
>> RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>>
>> as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types of
>> writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for critique. 
>> This
>> decision has come about after reading all messages relating to members 
>> who
>> were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of , that you 
>> and
>> I have not had to know of, until now.
>>
>> Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the NFB
>> webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against allowing 
>> the
>> posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled that 
>> members
>> of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of their 
>> work
>> for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a warning 
>> that
>> the message contains adult content.
>>
>>
>> Robert Leslie Newman
>> President NFB Writers' division
>> Writers' Division Website-
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> Personal Website-
>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 6
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:07:51 -0400
>> From: "Dan Hicks" <danjhicks at yahoo.com>
>> To: <newmanrl at cox.net>, "'Writer's Division Mailing List'"
>> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <2B.81.08792.4F9E8DB4 at hrndva-omtalb.mail.rr.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>
>> I think you have set the best policy possible, and possibly the only
>> reasonable policy, all things considred.
>>
>>
>>
>> Dan J. Hicks
>>
>>
>>
>> "He who has why to live can bear almost any how"
>> -Friedrich Nietzsche
>>
>> _____
>>
>> From: Robert Leslie Newman [mailto:newmanrl at cox.net]
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 8:45 PM
>> To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
>> Subject: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>>
>>
>> Division and STYLIST members:
>>
>> RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>>
>>
>>
>> as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types of
>> writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for critique. 
>> This
>> decision has come about after reading all messages relating to members 
>> who
>> were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of , that you 
>> and
>> I have not had to know of, until now.
>>
>>
>>
>> Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the NFB
>> webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against allowing 
>> the
>> posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled that 
>> members
>> of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of their 
>> work
>> for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a warning 
>> that
>> the message contains adult content.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Robert Leslie Newman
>>
>> President NFB Writers' division
>>
>> Writers' Division Website-
>>
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> Personal Website-
>>
>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 7
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:22:54 -0500
>> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <BAY113-DS15C006348F8E1808EF7B76EB010 at phx.gbl>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
>> reply-type=original
>>
>> Just "contains adult content"? I'd think it more relevant to write
>> "contains strong language" or "contains violence" or "contains 
>> descriptions
>> of sex". Adult content is pretty broad. I, personally, might read if it
>> had two of the statements but not the other. It's what the Braille Book
>> Review does so one be informed.
>> Barbara
>>
>> A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have something 
>> to
>> hide. The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 7:44 PM
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>> > Division and STYLIST members:
>> > RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>> >
>> > as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types 
>> > of
>> > writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for critique. 
>> > This
>> > decision has come about after reading all messages relating to members 
>> > who
>> > were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> > webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of , that 
>> > you
>> > and
>> > I have not had to know of, until now.
>> >
>> > Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the 
>> > NFB
>> > webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against allowing
>> > the
>> > posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> > Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> > another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled that 
>> > members
>> > of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of their 
>> > work
>> > for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a warning
>> > that
>> > the message contains adult content.
>> >
>> >
>> > Robert Leslie Newman
>> > President NFB Writers' division
>> > Writers' Division Website-
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > Personal Website-
>> > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> > stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn.com
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 8
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:52:56 -0400
>> From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <9A7C0C68BBF149ABA68D94258946CBB9 at Rufus>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>
>> Given I'm the black sheep who inspired this thread, you should know my
>> content will never be extremely obscene such as what people may have 
>> found
>> on books like "American Psycho. That was disturbing, and I'm not that
>> creatively twisted. *grin*
>>
>> Joe
>>
>> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> sleeves,
>> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 8:45 PM
>> To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
>> Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>> Division and STYLIST members:
>> RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>>
>> as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types of
>> writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for
>> critique. This
>> decision has come about after reading all messages relating to
>> members who
>> were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of ,
>> that you and
>> I have not had to know of, until now.
>>
>> Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and
>> on the NFB
>> webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against
>> allowing the
>> posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled
>> that members
>> of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of
>> their work
>> for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a
>> warning that
>> the message contains adult content.
>>
>>
>> Robert Leslie Newman
>> President NFB Writers' division
>> Writers' Division Website-
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> Personal Website-
>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
>> info for stylist:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
>> o%40gmail.com
>>
>>
>> __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of
>> virus signature database 5069 (20100428) __________
>>
>> The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>>
>> http://www.eset.com
>>
>>
>>
>> __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus 
>> signature
>> database 5069 (20100428) __________
>>
>> The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>>
>> http://www.eset.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 9
>> Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:19:09 -0400
>> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <82D916DB.731F.4E4E.8BF5.D0A7CFD4A411 at aol.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>> Agreed. ?This should work.
>> Lori
>> On Apr 28, 2010, at 10:07:51 PM, "Dan Hicks" <danjhicks at yahoo.com> wrote:
>>
>> From: "Dan Hicks" <danjhicks at yahoo.com>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Date: April 28, 2010 10:07:51 PM EDT
>> To: newmanrl at cox.net,?"'Writer's Division Mailing List'" 
>> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> I think you have set the best policy possible, and possibly the only
>> reasonable policy, all things considred.
>>
>>
>>
>> Dan J. Hicks
>>
>>
>>
>> "He who has why to live can bear almost any how"?
>> -Friedrich Nietzsche
>>
>> _____?
>>
>> From: Robert Leslie Newman [mailto:newmanrl at cox.net]?
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 8:45 PM
>> To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
>> Subject: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST?
>>
>>
>>
>> Division and STYLIST members:
>>
>> RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>>
>>
>>
>> as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types of
>> writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for critique. 
>> This
>> decision has come about after reading all messages relating to members 
>> who
>> were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of , that you 
>> and
>> I have not had to know of, until now.
>>
>>
>>
>> Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the NFB
>> webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against allowing 
>> the
>> posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled that 
>> members
>> of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of their 
>> work
>> for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a warning 
>> that
>> the message contains adult content.?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Robert Leslie Newman
>>
>> President NFB Writers' division?
>>
>> Writers' Division Website-
>>
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>?
>>
>> Personal Website-?
>>
>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> stylist:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/loristay%40aol.com
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 10
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 01:09:57 -0500
>> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter 0
>> Message-ID: <201004290610.o3T6A16Y002256 at smtp.sunflower.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
>>
>> Joe,
>> apologies for my slowness in responding, here are some comments. of
>> course these are my own comments and based on my own personal
>> taste/biases/bent.
>>
>> first, this is a good start and gets the reader's attention/engagement.
>>
>> The text before:
>> > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> ...
>> personally I think for pacing maybe those sentences could be briefer,
>> of course you are right to intro the unwelcome news and the old 
>> fraternity.
>>
>> you have a run-on sentence, two or three sentences squeezed into one:
>> The idea had come to him, as so many
>> of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen his 
>> family
>> out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of a
>> promising plot.
>>
>> "unsecure line" reference is quite tantilizing!
>>
>> "You're unbelievable." might need to be stronger/more emphatic.
>>
>> The quote: "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was referring to
>> the brotherhood in the fraternity." as I read it, I don't think this
>> guy would mention biology at all, but would be even icier, more
>> direct and would be threatening right there too.
>>
>> the whole "you never left the fraternity" quotes are very good and
>> right on up to "allegiance never existed."
>>
>> "christian's eyes strayed" is a very good touch and right on there,
>> only I would further strengthen it, i.e. "christian's eyes then
>> naturally rested oh so lovingly on ..." just as an example.
>>
>> "do I foresee a problem with that?" he exclaimed? but up to that
>> all very good. I like that we do not know if Theodore is six months
>> old, or 17 years old. suspense.
>>
>> "concerns of several of the brothers" implies that "the brothers have
>> been watching Christian, very nice writing.
>>
>> "And if I refuse?"
>> "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>>
>> this is good, perhaps tag after the last quote with "he purred?"
>> I hope these comments help.
>> jc
>>
>> At 04:11 PM 4/25/2010, you wrote:
>> >Dear all,
>> >
>> >I wrote the material below in the span of an hour. Therefore, do not 
>> >expect
>> >anything great. It still needs a lot of development. In fact, it is
>> >Chapter 0 because I feel this may be a better beginning to my novel 
>> >after
>> >the suspense of the prologue, but for the moment I am especially 
>> >interested
>> >in your assistance with dialogue. All suggestions are welcomed, and for
>> >this chapter you needn't worry about offensive content. Cindy's website
>> >recommendation looks like a great one. I'll reserve my sensitive content
>> >for that venue if it would make people happy.
>> >
>> >***
>> >
>> > Christian always knew they would come calling one day. He wasn't
>> >sure how they would make contact. Perhaps a mysterious letter would one 
>> >day
>> >appear in their mailbox. Maybe one morning he would open his e-mail 
>> >inbox
>> >to discover a message from an unidentified sender, but given their 
>> >obsession
>> >with secrecy, it was more likely that someone from the old fraternity 
>> >would
>> >simply appear at the front door bearing news of the type Christian and 
>> >his
>> >family could do without.
>> > They chose the telephone. Christian would have never guessed the
>> >fraternity would gamble with an unsecure line, but he had always been 
>> >right
>> >to assume that when they did reconnect with him, it would come as a 
>> >total
>> >surprise no matter how much he thought he'd prepared for the inevitable
>> >encounter. On the morning the call came through he was deeply immersed 
>> >in
>> >the first chapter of his latest novel. The idea had come to him, as so 
>> >many
>> >of them often did, without forethought, and by the time he'd seen his 
>> >family
>> >out the door, the kernel of an idea had swelled into the makings of a
>> >promising plot.
>> > He snapped a glance at the caller ID, saw that it was an
>> >unidentified caller and dismissed it as a telemarketer. In his feverish
>> >state of mind he only wanted to be left alone to fully concentrate on 
>> >the
>> >story unfurling under his fingers.
>> > "Mr. Adams, this is Don speaking.
>> > Christian froze, fingers hovering over the laptop keyboard, eyes
>> >slowly moving to the answering machine that was now conveying a clipped
>> >British accent from his past.
>> > "I trust you are well. It has been a while since we've spoken, and
>> >I am sure there is much catching up for us to do."
>> > The energy left Christian in a stomach-turning lurch. He slumped in
>> >his seat, eyes riveted to the machine.
>> > "Mr. Adams, it is important that we speak at your earliest
>> >opportunity. If you are listening to me now, it would be preferable that
>> >you pick up the phone so that we may discuss the matter. This is most
>> >urgent."
>> > Christian pondered it for a moment. He could ignore the call,
>> >pretend he was not home. Then a memory of the man's ice blue glare
>> >surfaced. That penetrating stare had always troubled Christian. Now it 
>> >was
>> >almost as though the man were in the room, daring him to be foolish. He
>> >slowly reached out for the receiver, willing his voice to sound calm and
>> >collected. This was a fine morning after all, and there was no need to 
>> >be
>> >afraid of a mere voice at the other end of the line.
>> > "Hello," he croaked.
>> > "Ah, good. I see you are home after all."
>> > "Wha, what do you want?"
>> > "Come now, Mr. Adams that is no way to greet an old friend."
>> > "We are not friends."
>> > "So you are still a bit sore about that old business. I dare say it
>> >has been far too long for you to hold a grudge."
>> > "You're unbelievable."
>> > "Alas, it would appear time may not heel all wounds after all. So,
>> >let me get to the purpose of my call."
>> > Christian's hand tightened around the receiver. He had never cared
>> >for the man's false joviality, but he was sure it would be far 
>> >preferable to
>> >the blow that was no doubt coming.
>> > "One of your brothers has met with an unfortunate...accident."
>> > "I have no brothers."
>> > "I'm sorry. I thought we were through being coy. Biologically,
>> >yes, you are correct, but of course you know full well I was referring 
>> >to
>> >the brotherhood in the fraternity."
>> > "I left the fraternity."
>> > "You never left the fraternity," the man sighed as though exercising
>> >immense patience with a stubborn child. "You may never leave the
>> >fraternity. You were well aware of this at your induction."
>> > "I was told I could--"
>> > "You were told you could what," the man interrupted, no longer
>> >bothering with pleasantries, "just leave and pretend your membership and
>> >allegiance never existed?"
>> > Christian's eyes strayed to the family photo hanging over the
>> >fireplace. In the picture his son Kevin was a newborn cradled in the 
>> >arms
>> >of a smiling Carolyn. Posing for the photo, he had felt that his life 
>> >had
>> >truly taken a turn for the better, that his past would fade into distant
>> >memory. Now, despite the fear still raking his stomach, he almost 
>> >grinned
>> >at his own stupidity. Had he truly believed he could just get away?
>> > "One of the brothers and his wife have met with an untimely death.
>> >They had a son, Theodore, who has been left behind with no suitable
>> >guardians. The High Council has met and decided your family would be 
>> >best
>> >suited to assume responsibility for the young man."
>> > "I beg your pardon?"
>> > Christian was torn. On the one hand he could not have felt more
>> >relieved. He had been certain the request would be far more despicable.
>> >Exactly what he thought they might ask of him he could not imagine, but 
>> >on
>> >the other hand, what was this business about taking care of a boy?
>> > "What part of it did you not comprehend, Mr. Adams?"
>> > Christian sat forward. "You want me to just take in a boy I've
>> >never met? From a group of people I haven't even spoken to in more than
>> >eighteen years?"
>> > "In a word, yes. Do you foresee a problem with that?"
>> > "Do I foresee a problem with that?" Christian was appalled.
>> >"You're damn right I foresee a problem with that. I think you're crazy 
>> >to
>> >just call me up this way."
>> > "I'm sorry." The man's sarcasm told Christian he was anything but.
>> >"Should we have rolled out the announcement in a red carpet for you? You
>> >have an obligation to the fraternity. For years now you have been 
>> >allowed
>> >to go about your business despite the concerns of several of the 
>> >brothers.
>> >Your respite is over. Taking care of the son of one of your brethren 
>> >should
>> >be an honor to you, especially since worthier members would have been 
>> >all
>> >too glad for the privilege."
>> > "I am sorry for the boy's loss," Christian hissed. "But you just
>> >can't call me and expect me to be overjoyed at the thought of being 
>> >coerced
>> >into taking in a child from a family I never even met."
>> > "Coercion," the man mused, savoring the word. "That is not quite
>> >how I view it, but you are right to assume that you do not really have a
>> >choice in the matter. The boy will be coming to your home in 
>> >approximately
>> >three months. This should give you ample time to prepare for his 
>> >arrival."
>> > "And if I refuse?"
>> > "Let us hope you will never need to find out."
>> >
>> >***
>> >
>> >Joe Orozco
>> >
>> >"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
>> >sleeves,
>> >some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>> >
>> >
>> >__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus 
>> >signature
>> >database 5059 (20100425) __________
>> >
>> >The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>> >
>> >http://www.eset.com
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >_______________________________________________
>> >Writers Division web site:
>> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> ><http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> >stylist mailing list
>> >stylist at nfbnet.org
>> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> >stylist:
>> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 11
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 04:30:08 -0500
>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <1875028FE8544FC4AF09EF8CE3D680C0 at RobertLesliePC>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>
>> Barbra and Jim and others who would like the warning to read more
>> specifically:
>>
>> Yes, the warning could be more specific. If one of you or a couple or
>> several of you wish to get it worded out (there was an interesting 
>> phrase),
>> then we can ask that it be used. (I was thinking that just may be "the
>> next" point needing clarification.)
>>
>>
>> thank you all- this mailing list can truly be one of our best resources. 
>> And
>> I say "can be," if we respectfully and intelligently make it be.
>>
>> Write on
>>
>>
>> Respectfully yours
>> Robert Leslie Newman
>> President NFB Writers' division
>> Writers' Division Website-
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> Personal Website-
>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:23 PM
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>> Just "contains adult content"? I'd think it more relevant to write
>> "contains strong language" or "contains violence" or "contains 
>> descriptions
>> of sex". Adult content is pretty broad. I, personally, might read if it
>> had two of the statements but not the other. It's what the Braille Book
>> Review does so one be informed.
>> Barbara
>>
>> A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have something 
>> to
>> hide. The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 7:44 PM
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>> > Division and STYLIST members:
>> > RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>> >
>> > as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types
>> > of writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for
>> > critique. This decision has come about after reading all messages
>> > relating to members who were good enough to post their feelings. I
>> > have also consulted the NFB webmaster to get his perspective on rules
>> > that he is aware of , that you and I have not had to know of, until
>> > now.
>> >
>> > Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the
>> > NFB webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against
>> > allowing the posting of the type of content we have been debating, and
>> > because this Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for
>> > seeking one another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby
>> > ruled that members of this list can feel free to now post samplings of
>> > any type of their work for helpful critique. the only requirement is
>> > that you place a warning that the message contains adult content.
>> >
>> >
>> > Robert Leslie Newman
>> > President NFB Writers' division
>> > Writers' Division Website-
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > Personal Website-
>> > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> > stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40m
>> > sn.com
>> >
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 12
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:44:21 -0400
>> From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <000c01cae799$b0f41840$3302a8c0 at dell5150>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
>> reply-type=original
>>
>> How about, "This message contains adult material. Please proceed as you
>> wish."
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 5:30 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>>
>>
>> > Barbra and Jim and others who would like the warning to read more
>> > specifically:
>> >
>> > Yes, the warning could be more specific. If one of you or a couple or
>> > several of you wish to get it worded out (there was an interesting
>> > phrase),
>> > then we can ask that it be used. (I was thinking that just may be "the
>> > next" point needing clarification.)
>> >
>> >
>> > thank you all- this mailing list can truly be one of our best 
>> > resources.
>> > And
>> > I say "can be," if we respectfully and intelligently make it be.
>> >
>> > Write on
>> >
>> >
>> > Respectfully yours
>> > Robert Leslie Newman
>> > President NFB Writers' division
>> > Writers' Division Website-
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > Personal Website-
>> > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> >
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> > Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>> > Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:23 PM
>> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> >
>> > Just "contains adult content"? I'd think it more relevant to write
>> > "contains strong language" or "contains violence" or "contains
>> > descriptions
>> > of sex". Adult content is pretty broad. I, personally, might read if it
>> > had two of the statements but not the other. It's what the Braille Book
>> > Review does so one be informed.
>> > Barbara
>> >
>> > A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have something 
>> > to
>> > hide. The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>> >
>> > --------------------------------------------------
>> > From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> > Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 7:44 PM
>> > To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> > Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> >
>> >> Division and STYLIST members:
>> >> RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>> >>
>> >> as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types
>> >> of writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for
>> >> critique. This decision has come about after reading all messages
>> >> relating to members who were good enough to post their feelings. I
>> >> have also consulted the NFB webmaster to get his perspective on rules
>> >> that he is aware of , that you and I have not had to know of, until
>> >> now.
>> >>
>> >> Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the
>> >> NFB webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against
>> >> allowing the posting of the type of content we have been debating, and
>> >> because this Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for
>> >> seeking one another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby
>> >> ruled that members of this list can feel free to now post samplings of
>> >> any type of their work for helpful critique. the only requirement is
>> >> that you place a warning that the message contains adult content.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Robert Leslie Newman
>> >> President NFB Writers' division
>> >> Writers' Division Website-
>> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> >> <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >> Personal Website-
>> >> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> >> _______________________________________________
>> >> Writers Division web site:
>> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> >> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >>
>> >> stylist mailing list
>> >> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> >> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> >> stylist:
>> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40m
>> >> sn.com
>> >>
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> > stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> > stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 13
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:26:40 -0400
>> From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <4BD98910.7050105 at epix.net>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
>>
>> Robert,
>> Thank you. If there should ever be a situation where the division has an
>> interest in giving young blind children access to this type of a forum,
>> perhaps we can set up a separate list and get volunteer adults to join
>> specifically to help the kids. I'm sure this decision will work for our
>> current members.
>> Donna Hill
>>
>> Donna's articles on Suite 101:
>> http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>>
>> Free Download: "Love of My Life"
>> http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>>
>> Read my articles on American Chronicle:
>> http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>>
>> Follow me on Twitter:
>> www.twitter.com/dewhill
>>
>> Join Me on LinkedIn:
>> http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>>
>> Or, FaceBook:
>> http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>>
>> Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
>> http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>>
>> Apple I-Tunes
>>
>> phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>>
>> Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>> www.padnfb.org
>>
>>
>>
>> Robert Leslie Newman wrote:
>> > Division and STYLIST members:
>> > RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>> >
>> > as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types 
>> > of
>> > writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for critique. 
>> > This
>> > decision has come about after reading all messages relating to members 
>> > who
>> > were good enough to post their feelings. I have also consulted the NFB
>> > webmaster to get his perspective on rules that he is aware of , that 
>> > you and
>> > I have not had to know of, until now.
>> >
>> > Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the 
>> > NFB
>> > webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against allowing 
>> > the
>> > posting of the type of content we have been debating, and because this
>> > Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for seeking one
>> > another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby ruled that 
>> > members
>> > of this list can feel free to now post samplings of any type of their 
>> > work
>> > for helpful critique. the only requirement is that you place a warning 
>> > that
>> > the message contains adult content.
>> >
>> >
>> > Robert Leslie Newman
>> > President NFB Writers' division
>> > Writers' Division Website-
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > Personal Website-
>> > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Writers Division web site:
>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> >
>> > stylist mailing list
>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> > stylist:
>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> > Database version: 6.14880
>> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>> >
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
>> Database version: 6.14880
>> http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 14
>> Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2010 08:55:20 -0500
>> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> Message-ID: <201004291355.o3TDtPVL028236 at smtp.sunflower.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
>>
>> I think the simpler the better, right at the beginning of the e-mail:
>> contains strong language;
>> contains explicit descriptions of sex;
>> contains violence.
>>
>> we are familiar with the NLS ratings.
>>
>> not to restrict the thoughtfulness of an author, if he or she has
>> text that a conservative christian might find offensive, a warning like
>> "religiously offensive material"
>>
>> might do.
>>
>>
>> point is, the one who posts takes responsibility.
>> jc
>>
>> At 04:30 AM 4/29/2010, you wrote:
>> >Barbra and Jim and others who would like the warning to read more
>> >specifically:
>> >
>> >Yes, the warning could be more specific. If one of you or a couple or
>> >several of you wish to get it worded out (there was an interesting 
>> >phrase),
>> >then we can ask that it be used. (I was thinking that just may be "the
>> >next" point needing clarification.)
>> >
>> >
>> >thank you all- this mailing list can truly be one of our best resources. 
>> >And
>> >I say "can be," if we respectfully and intelligently make it be.
>> >
>> >Write on
>> >
>> >
>> >Respectfully yours
>> >Robert Leslie Newman
>> >President NFB Writers' division
>> >Writers' Division Website-
>> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> >Personal Website-
>> >http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> >
>> >-----Original Message-----
>> >From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> >Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>> >Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:23 PM
>> >To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> >Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> >
>> >Just "contains adult content"? I'd think it more relevant to write
>> >"contains strong language" or "contains violence" or "contains 
>> >descriptions
>> >of sex". Adult content is pretty broad. I, personally, might read if it
>> >had two of the statements but not the other. It's what the Braille Book
>> >Review does so one be informed.
>> >Barbara
>> >
>> >A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have something 
>> >to
>> >hide. The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>> >
>> >--------------------------------------------------
>> >From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> >Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 7:44 PM
>> >To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> >Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>> >
>> > > Division and STYLIST members:
>> > > RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
>> > >
>> > > as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what types
>> > > of writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for
>> > > critique. This decision has come about after reading all messages
>> > > relating to members who were good enough to post their feelings. I
>> > > have also consulted the NFB webmaster to get his perspective on rules
>> > > that he is aware of , that you and I have not had to know of, until
>> > > now.
>> > >
>> > > Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on the
>> > > NFB webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against
>> > > allowing the posting of the type of content we have been debating, 
>> > > and
>> > > because this Division and this forum is one of our major conduits for
>> > > seeking one another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby
>> > > ruled that members of this list can feel free to now post samplings 
>> > > of
>> > > any type of their work for helpful critique. the only requirement is
>> > > that you place a warning that the message contains adult content.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Robert Leslie Newman
>> > > President NFB Writers' division
>> > > Writers' Division Website-
>> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > > <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > > Personal Website-
>> > > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>> > > _______________________________________________
>> > > Writers Division web site:
>> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> > > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>> > >
>> > > stylist mailing list
>> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
>> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
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>> ------------------------------
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>>
>> End of stylist Digest, Vol 72, Issue 26
>> ***************************************
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