[stylist] writing anonomously
Bridgit Pollpeter
bpollpeter at hotmail.com
Tue May 4 21:07:01 UTC 2010
To write a memoir, or really anything where personal info is used, we have to have distance from the situation. Displaying emotion and being emotional are two separate things, and we want our writing to evoke emotion, but we don't want our writing to be an emotional rollercoaster for readers. It is best to work out your personal life with professionals, if necessary, and those we consider a support system before sharing with the world. Journaling is a great way to release pain and suffering, but attempting to publish personal info before it is time can be difficult and even detremental.
I too dealt with abuse during my childhood, and there is no way I could have tried to write about it until a couple of years ago. I have gained some distance and perspective, and now I can write without being emotionally ripped to shreds.
My suggestion is to get it all out. Just write and write what you feel then go back and pick out what you feel is important and essential to your story. Remember, non-fiction is not necessarily about reporting on factual info, but it is about experiencing a universal truth. It is about what we felt in a given situation and how it has shaped us. Focus on that and not so much on particular events. This is not to say lie and make stuff up, but don't let the driving force be about such and such events, but how you were and still are affected.
Ultimately, you have to do what you believe is right. If your intention is to have a cathartic experience it may be a bit indulgent to want to publish, but if you feel you have a story that can help others then you do what you have to do to accomplish this goal.
Bridgit P
> From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 73, Issue 6
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date: Tue, 4 May 2010 12:00:06 -0500
>
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> Today's Topics:
>
> 1. Re: Writing Anonymously (Donna Hill)
> 2. Re: Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST (Judith Bron)
> 3. Re: Writing Anonymously (Judith Bron)
> 4. Re: Writing Anonymously (Jewel S.)
> 5. Writing sample (Jacobson, Shawn D)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 04 May 2010 10:39:41 -0400
> From: Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing Anonymously
> Message-ID: <4BE031AD.9090001 at epix.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed
>
> Hi Jewel,
> I don't think any website where people can post stories/novels will
> allow you to post without a user name and vallid e-mail address. I think
> to truly own your story and your life, to truly complete the process of
> accepting the truth of your own innocence, in short, to heal, you need
> to work through this fear of being called out, ridiculed or blamed for
> who you truly are. To some extent, you are already taking steps in that
> direction by giving the list many details of that story. You could have,
> for instance, posted the question without a word about why you were
> seeking anonymity or what you were writing.
>
> My suggestion is that you start with getting comfortable with a
> pseudonymous user name. I think that, like it or not, anyone who knows
> you well will recognize you in your work, unless you are so vague as to
> be irrelevant, which I doubt you would be. I don't believe, however,
> that they would be trolling the internet's writers' forums in the hope
> of stumbling upon your work just so they could give you a hard time
> about it. The question becomes, how important is it to you to keep this
> from people you know? Being open about abuse is difficult socially under
> the best of circumstances and moreso if a person has an additional
> stigmatizing characteristic such as blindness. One thing that may help
> you proceed is to think about the millions of other abuse victums who
> don't have your talent for writing, who haven't progressed as far as you
> in their understanding of what happened or is still happening and who
> will likely never have much in the way of external affirmation unless
> they get it from reading someone else's story.
>
> In terms of where to write ... I know that Buzzle.com has sections for
> stories and poetry in addition to their news articles. There is also a
> site called "Authonomy" which was set up by Harper Collins publishing,
> where writers post the first 10,000 words (if memory serves) of their
> novels for peer review and the chance of publisher review. Here is a
> link to their FAQ page:
> http://authonomy.com/FAQ.aspx#accept
> Best,
> Donna
>
> Donna's articles on Suite 101:
> http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
>
> Free Download: "Love of My Life"
> http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
>
> Read my articles on American Chronicle:
> http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
>
> Follow me on Twitter:
> www.twitter.com/dewhill
>
> Join Me on LinkedIn:
> http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
>
> Or, FaceBook:
> http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
>
> Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
> http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
>
> Apple I-Tunes
>
> phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
>
> Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> www.padnfb.org
>
>
>
> Jewel S. wrote:
> > Hi all,
> >
> > I am writing a memoir...it is an emotional process, a painful writing,
> > but one that needs to be done. It encompasses my childhood and the
> > loss of it, my mental illness and my mother's sadism and abuse, and
> > the "death" of my mother in my mind, the "killing" of the mother whom
> > I have always loved but also always hated. I can summarize that here,
> > but I cannot share the actual writings with anyone who knows who wrote
> > it. I would feel that they would pity me, hate me for exposing this
> > woman, or not believe that it is true. It scares me to share it with
> > anyone who would know it was written by me. However, I know that any
> > book that is going to be published needs to be read and edited,
> > re-read and re-edited and then needs to be published. I plan on using
> > a pen name that would be used only for this book, and for none of my
> > others. However, I wanted to know how to go about with this. It is as
> > much a healing of my inner child who never got a proper childhood and
> > a tru confession to myself that it really happened and that I have
> > been very sick and now I'm getting well. My counselor thinks it is a
> > fine idea, but I am still afraid to share it, but I want people to
> > know and understand the pains and joys, fears and triumphs of an
> > abused child who never understood the abuse, who always blamed herself
> > for it, and truly thought she was the black sheep who truly was
> > naughty, and perhaps even evil. I remember the impression that I was
> > possessed, that maybe there was a demon that made me so bad and my
> > mother was only trying to rid me of it, or that I was a "bad seed."
> >
> > Anyway, as you might be able to tell, it's not a nice story nor does
> > it yet have an ending, as I'm still trying to heal, but I want to work
> > on the story, and someday publish it.
> >
> > How does one go about submitting a book without being known for who
> > you are? How does one go about sharing a story with strangers? Are
> > there places where stories can be submitted totally anonymously (and I
> > don't mean under a username...I fear that I'd be found out and called
> > out...but totally anonymously? Where would such a place be?
> >
> > I know I sound silly and paranoid...I am sorry. I am just still so
> > fearful of sharing the story, but I know that in time it must be done,
> > and I have some of the story to share and want it read, but don't want
> > to share it as myself. Any thoughts?
> >
> > ~Jewel
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
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> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
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> >
> >
> >
> >
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> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Tue, 04 May 2010 11:04:12 -0400
> From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
> Message-ID: <001201caeb9b$0e5c51f0$3302a8c0 at dell5150>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
> reply-type=response
>
> Let's not get dramatic Donna. I started writing in the nineth grade. Back
> then there were no computers. My mother censored library books as my
> husband did for my kids after I couldn't read any longer. It's a new world.
> Parents have enough to do to protect their children. They bring their young
> children to NFB conventions which are family friendly. I'm sure they trust
> NFB lists to not post material contrary to their values. As a parent and
> grandparent, I have to say that it is harder to be a parent now than it was
> 30 years ago. Then the clerk in the drug store wouldn't sell "Playboy" to a
> child. Now it takes more than a clerk to shield children and promote the
> values of the family.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 9:50 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
>
>
> > Judith,
> > It is the responsibility of parents to monitor what their kids experience.
> > If they aren't concerned about shielding their teenagers from online
> > discussions containing things they experience and discuss in their
> > everyday lives, we can't be expected to do that for them. If there is an
> > issue beyond the opinions of members who won't be satisfied unless all
> > questionable material is blocked from the list, it should be for younger
> > children, and I don't feel that this list would interest them let alone
> > meet their needs -- parents of younger kids are more likely to monitor
> > internet use anyway. The rating system Robert has put in place is
> > reasonable. In addition, from a purely academic perspective, I find it
> > amusing that anyone thinks that a writer can't horrify, scare or have a
> > negative impact on a reader's emotions or sensibilities without the use of
> > off-color language and/or explicit descriptions of violence and sex. If we
> > get into advancing the cause of censorship against which writers have
> > struggled throughout human history, we might as well throw down our styli,
> > turn off our screen readers and go for a walk.
> > Donna
> >
> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
> >
> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
> >
> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
> >
> > Follow me on Twitter:
> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
> >
> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
> >
> > Or, FaceBook:
> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
> >
> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
> >
> > Apple I-Tunes
> >
> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
> >
> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> > www.padnfb.org
> >
> >
> >
> > Judith Bron wrote:
> >> Aziza, Obviously this argument isn't going away. If a teenager opens an
> >> email stating that the material contains explicit descriptions of sex
> >> what do you think the kid will do? Will he scream, "Mom, can I read
> >> this?" Will he simply delete it because he knows his mom wouldn't want
> >> him to read it? If his mom tells him not to read it will he read it
> >> anyways? It doesn't take a genius to figure out those answers. Do you
> >> think that just because the "Open" minds of an NFB list decided it was
> >> all right no kid was going to read anything not acceptable? You've made
> >> your decision. Right or wrong, why is it being rehashed? Judith
> >> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Aziza Cano"
> >> <daydreamingncolor at gmail.com>
> >> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >> Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 12:09 AM
> >> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
> >>
> >>
> >>> I agree. Simple warnings should do the trick, and if people choose to
> >>> read on despite the warnings, they accept responsibility for any offense
> >>> the text might cause.
> >>> Aziza
> >>>
> >>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR"
> >>> <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> >>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >>> Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2010 7:55 AM
> >>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> I think the simpler the better, right at the beginning of the e-mail:
> >>>> contains strong language;
> >>>> contains explicit descriptions of sex;
> >>>> contains violence.
> >>>>
> >>>> we are familiar with the NLS ratings.
> >>>>
> >>>> not to restrict the thoughtfulness of an author, if he or she has text
> >>>> that a conservative christian might find offensive, a warning like
> >>>> "religiously offensive material"
> >>>>
> >>>> might do.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> point is, the one who posts takes responsibility.
> >>>> jc
> >>>>
> >>>> At 04:30 AM 4/29/2010, you wrote:
> >>>>> Barbra and Jim and others who would like the warning to read more
> >>>>> specifically:
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Yes, the warning could be more specific. If one of you or a couple or
> >>>>> several of you wish to get it worded out (there was an interesting
> >>>>> phrase),
> >>>>> then we can ask that it be used. (I was thinking that just may be
> >>>>> "the
> >>>>> next" point needing clarification.)
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> thank you all- this mailing list can truly be one of our best
> >>>>> resources. And
> >>>>> I say "can be," if we respectfully and intelligently make it be.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Write on
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Respectfully yours
> >>>>> Robert Leslie Newman
> >>>>> President NFB Writers' division
> >>>>> Writers' Division Website-
> >>>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>>> Personal Website-
> >>>>> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
> >>>>>
> >>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>>>> On
> >>>>> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
> >>>>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 9:23 PM
> >>>>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> >>>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Just "contains adult content"? I'd think it more relevant to write
> >>>>> "contains strong language" or "contains violence" or "contains
> >>>>> descriptions
> >>>>> of sex". Adult content is pretty broad. I, personally, might read if
> >>>>> it
> >>>>> had two of the statements but not the other. It's what the Braille
> >>>>> Book
> >>>>> Review does so one be informed.
> >>>>> Barbara
> >>>>>
> >>>>> A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have
> >>>>> something to
> >>>>> hide. The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> --------------------------------------------------
> >>>>> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
> >>>>> Sent: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 7:44 PM
> >>>>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>> Subject: [stylist] Ruling on posting adult content to STYLIST
> >>>>>
> >>>>> > Division and STYLIST members:
> >>>>> > RE: What is allowable to be posted to STYLIST
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> > as the President of the Division I have made a decision on what
> >>>>> types
> >>>>> > of writing samples will be allowed to be posted to STYLIST for
> >>>>> > critique. This decision has come about after reading all messages
> >>>>> > relating to members who were good enough to post their feelings. I
> >>>>> > have also consulted the NFB webmaster to get his perspective on
> >>>>> rules
> >>>>> > that he is aware of , that you and I have not had to know of, until
> >>>>> > now.
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> > Thus, based upon the general consensus of STYLIST members, and on
> >>>>> the
> >>>>> > NFB webmaster's answer that there is not a specific ruling against
> >>>>> > allowing the posting of the type of content we have been
> >>>>> debating, and
> >>>>> > because this Division and this forum is one of our major conduits
> >>>>> for
> >>>>> > seeking one another's assistance to improve our craft, it is hereby
> >>>>> > ruled that members of this list can feel free to now post
> >>>>> samplings of
> >>>>> > any type of their work for helpful critique. the only requirement is
> >>>>> > that you place a warning that the message contains adult content.
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> > Robert Leslie Newman
> >>>>> > President NFB Writers' division
> >>>>> > Writers' Division Website-
> >>>>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>>> > <blocked::http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>>> > Personal Website-
> >>>>> > http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
> >>>>> > _______________________________________________
> >>>>> > Writers Division web site:
> >>>>> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>>> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> > stylist mailing list
> >>>>> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>>>> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>>>> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> >>>>> for
> >>>>> > stylist:
> >>>>> >
> >>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40m
> >>>>> > sn.com
> >>>>> >
> >>>>>
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>>> Writers Division web site:
> >>>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> stylist mailing list
> >>>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>>>> stylist:
> >>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>>> Writers Division web site:
> >>>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> stylist mailing list
> >>>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>>>> stylist:
> >>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> _______________________________________________
> >>>> Writers Division web site:
> >>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>>
> >>>> stylist mailing list
> >>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
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> >>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>>> stylist:
> >>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/daydreamingncolor%40gmail.com
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> _______________________________________________
> >>> Writers Division web site:
> >>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>
> >>> stylist mailing list
> >>> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>> stylist:
> >>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net
> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Writers Division web site:
> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >> stylist mailing list
> >> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
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> >
> >
> >
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> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
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>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 3
> Date: Tue, 04 May 2010 12:21:11 -0400
> From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing Anonymously
> Message-ID: <000a01caeba5$d24fd960$3302a8c0 at dell5150>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
> reply-type=response
>
> Jewel, Are you still living with your birth family? If not, you might want
> to consider this. After going through what you've been through, I'm sure you
> are aware of support groups for abused children or adults. No, it doesn't
> have to be a blind or otherwise handicapped list. Check out organizations
> of this kind in your area. Oftentimes, speaking about your abuse and
> learning about other victims of the same or different kinds of abuse can be
> theraputic. Talking about it in front of those who are still coming to
> terms with their situation might make you stronger in coming to terms with
> your own situation. Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 10:39 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing Anonymously
>
>
> > Hi Jewel,
> > I don't think any website where people can post stories/novels will allow
> > you to post without a user name and vallid e-mail address. I think to
> > truly own your story and your life, to truly complete the process of
> > accepting the truth of your own innocence, in short, to heal, you need to
> > work through this fear of being called out, ridiculed or blamed for who
> > you truly are. To some extent, you are already taking steps in that
> > direction by giving the list many details of that story. You could have,
> > for instance, posted the question without a word about why you were
> > seeking anonymity or what you were writing.
> >
> > My suggestion is that you start with getting comfortable with a
> > pseudonymous user name. I think that, like it or not, anyone who knows you
> > well will recognize you in your work, unless you are so vague as to be
> > irrelevant, which I doubt you would be. I don't believe, however, that
> > they would be trolling the internet's writers' forums in the hope of
> > stumbling upon your work just so they could give you a hard time about it.
> > The question becomes, how important is it to you to keep this from people
> > you know? Being open about abuse is difficult socially under the best of
> > circumstances and moreso if a person has an additional stigmatizing
> > characteristic such as blindness. One thing that may help you proceed is
> > to think about the millions of other abuse victums who don't have your
> > talent for writing, who haven't progressed as far as you in their
> > understanding of what happened or is still happening and who will likely
> > never have much in the way of external affirmation unless they get it from
> > reading someone else's story.
> >
> > In terms of where to write ... I know that Buzzle.com has sections for
> > stories and poetry in addition to their news articles. There is also a
> > site called "Authonomy" which was set up by Harper Collins publishing,
> > where writers post the first 10,000 words (if memory serves) of their
> > novels for peer review and the chance of publisher review. Here is a link
> > to their FAQ page:
> > http://authonomy.com/FAQ.aspx#accept
> > Best,
> > Donna
> >
> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
> >
> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
> >
> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
> >
> > Follow me on Twitter:
> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
> >
> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
> >
> > Or, FaceBook:
> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
> >
> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
> >
> > Apple I-Tunes
> >
> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
> >
> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> > www.padnfb.org
> >
> >
> >
> > Jewel S. wrote:
> >> Hi all,
> >>
> >> I am writing a memoir...it is an emotional process, a painful writing,
> >> but one that needs to be done. It encompasses my childhood and the
> >> loss of it, my mental illness and my mother's sadism and abuse, and
> >> the "death" of my mother in my mind, the "killing" of the mother whom
> >> I have always loved but also always hated. I can summarize that here,
> >> but I cannot share the actual writings with anyone who knows who wrote
> >> it. I would feel that they would pity me, hate me for exposing this
> >> woman, or not believe that it is true. It scares me to share it with
> >> anyone who would know it was written by me. However, I know that any
> >> book that is going to be published needs to be read and edited,
> >> re-read and re-edited and then needs to be published. I plan on using
> >> a pen name that would be used only for this book, and for none of my
> >> others. However, I wanted to know how to go about with this. It is as
> >> much a healing of my inner child who never got a proper childhood and
> >> a tru confession to myself that it really happened and that I have
> >> been very sick and now I'm getting well. My counselor thinks it is a
> >> fine idea, but I am still afraid to share it, but I want people to
> >> know and understand the pains and joys, fears and triumphs of an
> >> abused child who never understood the abuse, who always blamed herself
> >> for it, and truly thought she was the black sheep who truly was
> >> naughty, and perhaps even evil. I remember the impression that I was
> >> possessed, that maybe there was a demon that made me so bad and my
> >> mother was only trying to rid me of it, or that I was a "bad seed."
> >>
> >> Anyway, as you might be able to tell, it's not a nice story nor does
> >> it yet have an ending, as I'm still trying to heal, but I want to work
> >> on the story, and someday publish it.
> >>
> >> How does one go about submitting a book without being known for who
> >> you are? How does one go about sharing a story with strangers? Are
> >> there places where stories can be submitted totally anonymously (and I
> >> don't mean under a username...I fear that I'd be found out and called
> >> out...but totally anonymously? Where would such a place be?
> >>
> >> I know I sound silly and paranoid...I am sorry. I am just still so
> >> fearful of sharing the story, but I know that in time it must be done,
> >> and I have some of the story to share and want it read, but don't want
> >> to share it as myself. Any thoughts?
> >>
> >> ~Jewel
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Writers Division web site:
> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >> stylist mailing list
> >> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
> >> Database version: 6.14910
> >> http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
> > Database version: 6.14920
> > http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net
> >
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Tue, 4 May 2010 12:50:47 -0400
> From: "Jewel S." <herekittykat2 at gmail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing Anonymously
> Message-ID:
> <m2y196c01b01005040950u3acca96ej8d4ffd4c16b92fce at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
>
> No, I don't live with Pam anymore. I can't even call her you-know
> anymore...I can say mother, but I can't say it in relation to that
> woman. I disowned her two years ago, and have not had any connection
> with her since. I have only seen her name once or twice on Facebook,
> because I'm friends with other family members, but I refuse to
> acknowledge her. My father died in 2001 of Desert Storm Syndrome. He
> was my protector and my hero, and it only got worse after his death
> when I was 16, and when I left home, my brother became the new target.
> I always feel a bit guilty for leaving home as soon as I turned 18 and
> leaving my brother to take her abuse, since he had already been hit
> hard at 14 by our father's death. Her sudden abuse of my brother led
> him to become an abuser of alcohol and drugs and he became temporarily
> insane. Miraculously (hear the sarcasm?), he returned to normal mental
> health and stopped abusing drugs and alcohol when he went to live with
> an aunt thousands of miles away from his mother.
>
> I am also a part of an "Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse" support
> group which I attend once a month, and yes, this has helped immensely.
> It is also helpful that the person in charge of the support group also
> does private sessions with me and any other members of the support
> group who need/want it, so I feel more comfortable talking in the
> support group after talking to her in a private session. we talk about
> things, and then I know how to say something in the group. I have only
> once felt uncomfortable in the group, and that was when the lady next
> to me had a minor breakdown and said that people were pushing her and
> that she felt really uncomfortable because it. Because I had been
> talking to her a bit before, though she didn't say my name, I felt she
> was saying I was doing it, and the rest of the day I was putting
> myself down and had a minor breakdown myself. This was a direct result
> of how Pam always put me down and blamed anything that went wrong on
> me. I am trying to get past that mental self-degradation that was
> integrated into my mindset as a child, but it is difficult. I still am
> unable to do chores with someone else in the room, as I feel they are
> watching me and will yell at me if it's not done absolutely perfectly.
> This is something that my therapist/counselor and I are working on
> right now...desenssitizing is not easy, but she says it's the best way
> to do it, and I know I want to change and I understand where it comes
> from, so I'm halfway there.
>
> Anyway, talking about general things like that is not so hard. It's
> talking about the specifics that I can't do with others, except with
> my therapist. The specific traumas, the specific abuses and moments of
> fear and pain...those are the things I want to share with people, to
> show them what it's like, and to stir them into helping protect child
> in the future from this happening...as a child, there was no Child
> Protective Services checking in on us, there was no family counseling,
> there was not even a counselor for me except when a judge finally
> mandated it after I had run away for the umpteenth time because my
> father went back out to sea (Navy chief), and I was left alone to deal
> with Pam again. Even those stopped as soon as the mandated time was
> over, because my father was not around to enforce it. When he was
> home, all was pretty good, though he fought with his wife a *lot*
> about my treatment, but he did a pretty good job of keeping her away
> from me and treating me like a true daughter. So, the time from 14 to
> 16 was my best time period, because this was when my father was often
> home, because he was temporarily retired from the Navy because of the
> Desert Storm Syndrome. But when he died, it became worse than ever,
> and my final years in her house were pure torture, almost literally. I
> returned there twice, but this last time I swore I would never go back
> nor would I ever speak to this woman again. I cannot forgive a woman
> who is so sadistic and is not sorry in the least, even denies that she
> did anything to me and blames me for all my problems.
>
> Anyway...my therapist/counselor says writing it all down would be a
> great idea, that it would help me and help others, but I just don't
> think I could do it under my own name, not even if the only person who
> knows who I am is the publishing company.
>
> ~Jewel
>
> P.S.-Sorry I'm going on forever about this. I didn't mean to talk so much.
>
> On 5/4/10, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
> > Jewel, Are you still living with your birth family? If not, you might want
> > to consider this. After going through what you've been through, I'm sure you
> > are aware of support groups for abused children or adults. No, it doesn't
> > have to be a blind or otherwise handicapped list. Check out organizations
> > of this kind in your area. Oftentimes, speaking about your abuse and
> > learning about other victims of the same or different kinds of abuse can be
> > theraputic. Talking about it in front of those who are still coming to
> > terms with their situation might make you stronger in coming to terms with
> > your own situation. Judith
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2010 10:39 AM
> > Subject: Re: [stylist] Writing Anonymously
> >
> >
> >> Hi Jewel,
> >> I don't think any website where people can post stories/novels will allow
> >> you to post without a user name and vallid e-mail address. I think to
> >> truly own your story and your life, to truly complete the process of
> >> accepting the truth of your own innocence, in short, to heal, you need to
> >> work through this fear of being called out, ridiculed or blamed for who
> >> you truly are. To some extent, you are already taking steps in that
> >> direction by giving the list many details of that story. You could have,
> >> for instance, posted the question without a word about why you were
> >> seeking anonymity or what you were writing.
> >>
> >> My suggestion is that you start with getting comfortable with a
> >> pseudonymous user name. I think that, like it or not, anyone who knows you
> >>
> >> well will recognize you in your work, unless you are so vague as to be
> >> irrelevant, which I doubt you would be. I don't believe, however, that
> >> they would be trolling the internet's writers' forums in the hope of
> >> stumbling upon your work just so they could give you a hard time about it.
> >>
> >> The question becomes, how important is it to you to keep this from people
> >> you know? Being open about abuse is difficult socially under the best of
> >> circumstances and moreso if a person has an additional stigmatizing
> >> characteristic such as blindness. One thing that may help you proceed is
> >> to think about the millions of other abuse victums who don't have your
> >> talent for writing, who haven't progressed as far as you in their
> >> understanding of what happened or is still happening and who will likely
> >> never have much in the way of external affirmation unless they get it from
> >>
> >> reading someone else's story.
> >>
> >> In terms of where to write ... I know that Buzzle.com has sections for
> >> stories and poetry in addition to their news articles. There is also a
> >> site called "Authonomy" which was set up by Harper Collins publishing,
> >> where writers post the first 10,000 words (if memory serves) of their
> >> novels for peer review and the chance of publisher review. Here is a link
> >> to their FAQ page:
> >> http://authonomy.com/FAQ.aspx#accept
> >> Best,
> >> Donna
> >>
> >> Donna's articles on Suite 101:
> >> http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
> >>
> >> Free Download: "Love of My Life"
> >> http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advocate-for-the-blind/
> >>
> >> Read my articles on American Chronicle:
> >> http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
> >>
> >> Follow me on Twitter:
> >> www.twitter.com/dewhill
> >>
> >> Join Me on LinkedIn:
> >> http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
> >>
> >> Or, FaceBook:
> >> http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
> >>
> >> Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
> >> http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
> >>
> >> Apple I-Tunes
> >>
> >> phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374
> >>
> >> Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> >> www.padnfb.org
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Jewel S. wrote:
> >>> Hi all,
> >>>
> >>> I am writing a memoir...it is an emotional process, a painful writing,
> >>> but one that needs to be done. It encompasses my childhood and the
> >>> loss of it, my mental illness and my mother's sadism and abuse, and
> >>> the "death" of my mother in my mind, the "killing" of the mother whom
> >>> I have always loved but also always hated. I can summarize that here,
> >>> but I cannot share the actual writings with anyone who knows who wrote
> >>> it. I would feel that they would pity me, hate me for exposing this
> >>> woman, or not believe that it is true. It scares me to share it with
> >>> anyone who would know it was written by me. However, I know that any
> >>> book that is going to be published needs to be read and edited,
> >>> re-read and re-edited and then needs to be published. I plan on using
> >>> a pen name that would be used only for this book, and for none of my
> >>> others. However, I wanted to know how to go about with this. It is as
> >>> much a healing of my inner child who never got a proper childhood and
> >>> a tru confession to myself that it really happened and that I have
> >>> been very sick and now I'm getting well. My counselor thinks it is a
> >>> fine idea, but I am still afraid to share it, but I want people to
> >>> know and understand the pains and joys, fears and triumphs of an
> >>> abused child who never understood the abuse, who always blamed herself
> >>> for it, and truly thought she was the black sheep who truly was
> >>> naughty, and perhaps even evil. I remember the impression that I was
> >>> possessed, that maybe there was a demon that made me so bad and my
> >>> mother was only trying to rid me of it, or that I was a "bad seed."
> >>>
> >>> Anyway, as you might be able to tell, it's not a nice story nor does
> >>> it yet have an ending, as I'm still trying to heal, but I want to work
> >>> on the story, and someday publish it.
> >>>
> >>> How does one go about submitting a book without being known for who
> >>> you are? How does one go about sharing a story with strangers? Are
> >>> there places where stories can be submitted totally anonymously (and I
> >>> don't mean under a username...I fear that I'd be found out and called
> >>> out...but totally anonymously? Where would such a place be?
> >>>
> >>> I know I sound silly and paranoid...I am sorry. I am just still so
> >>> fearful of sharing the story, but I know that in time it must be done,
> >>> and I have some of the story to share and want it read, but don't want
> >>> to share it as myself. Any thoughts?
> >>>
> >>> ~Jewel
> >>>
> >>> _______________________________________________
> >>> Writers Division web site:
> >>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>>
> >>> stylist mailing list
> >>> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >>> stylist:
> >>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
> >>> Database version: 6.14910
> >>> http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> E-mail message checked by Spyware Doctor (7.0.0.514)
> >> Database version: 6.14920
> >> http://www.pctools.com/en/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Writers Division web site:
> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >> stylist mailing list
> >> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net
> >>
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/herekittykat2%40gmail.com
> >
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 5
> Date: Tue, 4 May 2010 12:50:52 -0400
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'stylist at nfbnet.org'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Writing sample
> Message-ID:
> <A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD171034FCE9D1 at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Attached is the writing sample that I will read at the May meeting. This is a short 1,000 or so word story which I look foreward to expanding.
>
> Please feel free to send me any comments.
>
> Shawn Jacobson
> Mathematical Statistician
> Phone# (202)-475-8759
> Fax# (202)-485-0275
>
> -------------- next part --------------
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> Desc: Space Aliens.docx
> URL: <http://www.nfbnet.org/pipermail/stylist_nfbnet.org/attachments/20100504/16f92631/attachment-0001.bin>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>
>
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 73, Issue 6
> **************************************
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