[stylist] chapter one

[Judith Bron]

This is the only place I found love followed by a comma:
But there was no loving voice, no hope, no purpose.  Only predictable 
blackness.  Her mother told her that she had to live, love, hope and know 
who she was.  But where could she learn about all these things that other 
kids knew from the minute they were born?  She felt aware of her physical 
pain and an emptiness inside.  "Come back to me, Mommy.  I need you."

I don't think you meant this passage.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "loristay" <loristay at aol.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 24, 2010 2:32 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] chapter one


I'd put a comma instead of a period after "love." This is obviously one 
sentence.
The chapter is reading better now.
Lori
On May 23, 2010, at 11:02:01 PM, "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:


Jennifer allowed her thoughts to return to that dark corridor and all 
inclusive feeling of love. A feeling she never had before.
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