[stylist] chapter two
Barbara Hammel
poetlori8 at msn.com
Tue May 25 17:40:11 UTC 2010
Judith, others may disagree but I like the way everyone else knows each
other but Pessy has no clue. It shows jjust how much withing herself she
is.
I also like the way Chavy noticed the nonverbal interaction between the
rabbi and Pessy. It did almost bring tears to my eyes.
Maybe because chapter one starts on a dramatic note, there seems something
missing compared to this one.
Barbara
...
Yesterday is
A path well-trod,
A familiar lane
Through sacred sod,
A road we travel
Too often, I fear,
For there are the good times
When things are hard here,
...
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 10:51 AM
To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] chapter two
> Here's chapter two of my book. As usual, I would appreciate any feedback.
> Best, Judith
>
> CHAPTER TWO
>
>
>
> The Same Saturday morning in Jenna, New York
>
>
>
> Standing on the bottom step Pessi smiled at her mother who lay on the sofa
> in the dining room. "Mommy, can I get you anything before I leave for
> synagogue?"
>
> "No thanks, dear." Pessi saw the look in her mother's eyes and braced
> herself for the same lecture Mrs. Goldberg had been delivering for months.
> "Pessi, you have to become involved with the girls at school. I know many
> of their mothers, and they are wonderful people."
>
> Pessi shrugged. "I'm fine the way I am. I like being alone."
>
> Her mother rebuked, "It isn't normal for a sixteen year old girl to exist
> only for homework and her family. You're a beautiful girl with a lot to
> offer others. Please make an effort to become friends with the girls at
> school."
>
> She fixed her eyes on Pessi's unruly hair. "You can't go to Shul with
> your hair like that. Put it in a bun."
>
> "I can't. One of these days I'll get it cut."
>
> "Pessi, all I'm asking you to do is try."
>
> Using the traditional Sabbath greeting Pessi answered curtly, "Good
> Shabbos, Mommy." She put on her ugly coat, stomped out of the house and
> headed for her father's synagogue. She preferred to run her life her way,
> and if that meant being alone so be it.
>
> After services Pessi quietly came up behind two schoolmates. She heard
> petite Miriam, a walking billboard for a fashion magazine say to Ruthie, a
> tall fashion icon, "Can you believe she goes in public looking so
> disgusting? Her coat is a reject from a charity sale. Those shoes
> haven't been seen since the Revolutionary War! Her hair is a nesting place
> for rats with bad taste. Nothing in the coatroom stood out like the moth
> holes in her coat. Gross!"
>
> Miriam abruptly switched topics. "I have to get home. Rabbi Goldberg's
> speaking this afternoon. Want to go?"
>
> Ruthie flashed a perfect smile revealing the expertise of her
> orthodontist. "Sure."
>
> "Great. I'll pick you up after lunch."
>
> Ruthie and Miriam were so engrossed in their conversation that Pessi
> didn't think the renowned tenth grade gossips noticed her. Pessi had to
> smile at their creative comments. She knew very well how she looked, but
> circumstances did this to a person. Could girls like Ruthie and Miriam
> ever understand there were more important things in a girl's life than
> clothes and beauticians?
>
> Under the dreary November sky Chavy Levy headed home from the synagogue
> her parents attended for years. The most popular girl in her eleventh
> grade class, Chavy had only three problems. She had to lose 10 pounds,
> her older brother Yigal had to be the most obnoxious person in the world
> to live with, and she hated math. She couldn't figure out why she had to
> be in a class which had nothing to do with her future. She had no idea
> what she would be doing after graduation, but becoming a math teacher
> wasn't an option! Still, she had to pass or her parents would have a fit.
> While strolling along on this Shabbos, Sabbath, morning she admired her
> surroundings where the men wore traditional hats and younger boys donned
> skullcaps appropriate for children. Chavy tossed her shining brown hair
> over her shoulder, and focused her bright brown eyes on the passers by.
> Women walked with husbands, children or friends. All wore clothing
> reflecting the special day. This afternoon Chavy and her friends planned
> to go to the B'nos club for girls which met every Shabbos or Saturday
> afternoon to hear Rabbi Goldberg. Chavy honestly believed her class to be
> the greatest. They all got along while having a ball working together
> except for Pessi Goldberg who didn't talk to anyone. Chavy shrugged and
> continued on.
>
> At home her mother greeted her. "Good Shabbos, Chavy. Can you finish
> this salad?"
>
> "Sure."
>
> A few minutes later the family gathered in the dining room for their
> Shabbos day meal. The legendary arguments between Chavy and her good
> looking brother Yigal started almost immediately. "Chavy, where's the
> grape juice?"
>
> "On the door of the fridge."
>
> "Why isn't it on the table? You know I can't start my meal without saying
> the prayer over wine or grape juice."
>
> "Go get it. The bottle isn't heavy."
>
> Their father boomed, "I've had enough from the two of you! You can both
> bring the juice to the table. When you get back I don't want either of
> you saying a word. Obviously you're not mature enough to talk decently to
> anyone." They looked at each other before getting up.
>
> Done straightening up after the meal Chavy and her cute ninth grade sister
> Chumy got ready for B'nos. Yigal told Chavy, "You better be home for
> sudat shlishit. You're the only one who prepares the third Sabbath meal
> so well."
>
> "It would serve you right if I couldn't be here. Then you'll be forced to
> make it yourself!"
>
> "I can't even compliment you without some smart remark. OK Chavy, Don't
> come home to make your horrid food. We'll live longer without it!" He
> smiled at her revealing the dimple in his right cheek.
>
> "All right, Yigal. I won't be here. I'm sure I can find a place where
> they'll take me in."
>
> "Don't bet on it, Chavy. It obviously takes a strong person like me to
> put up with you."
>
> At the school door Chavy heard the tenth grade yentas behind her. Miriam
> said, "Do you think the reject with the rat's nest on her head wearing her
> home for displaced moths will show up?"
>
> Ruthie nastily answered, "I don't think she'd have the nerve to socialize
> with civilized society. B'nos isn't a place for rejects."
>
> Chavy's temper flared. "Don't you have anything else to talk about? What
> bothers you about a girl you don't know? Life contains a lot of hard
> lessons. Someday you'll find that out." The two of them returned her
> dirty look before going to hang up their coats.
>
> Chavy entered the school auditorium, already half full for the Rabbi's
> lecture. To her surprise Pessi sat alone in the back. She saw the
> overgrown hair, ugly shoes, and sad eyes. Chavy wondered about this girl
> who arrived at school just as the bell rang and always left when the first
> dismissal bell sounded without a word to anyone. During lunch she sat
> reciting verses from her Psalm book saying nothing to any of the girls.
> Gossips like Miriam and Ruthie entertained themselves with Pessi Goldberg
> jokes, but most girls tried to get Pessi involved with the mainstream
> student body. When it was obvious they failed, the feeling became pity.
>
> Now Chavy observed the brunt of jokes by the narrow minds and object of
> pity for most of the girls, feeling bewildered. Well, the bewilderment
> had to stop and once and for all she had to make contact with this
> mysterious girl. She never remembered seeing Pessi before on Shabbos.
> The contrast between Pessi's clothes and the others was glaring. While
> most girls dressed up for Shabbos, Pessi wore a simple skirt and sweater
> appropriate for the weekday. Pessi sat reading the same Psalm book she
> read all week. Chavy knew the time had come to jump over Pessi's self
> constructed barrier.
>
> With fortified convictions she approached her classmate. "Good Shabbos,
> Pessi."
>
> "Good Shabbos, Chavy. I'm waiting for Rabbi Goldberg. I need some of the
> emotional support he always gives." Pessi returned to her book, signaling
> the end of the conversation. Chavy never remembered Pessi communicating
> more than a cursory greeting until now.
>
> Determined to help her classmate Chavy said, "Pessi, come sit with the
> class."
>
> Pessi raised her clear blue eyes. "I'm fine right here." She lowered her
> eyes to her book, again conveying the end of the conversation.
>
> Though an assertive girl who always managed to control any situation she
> found herself in, Chavy felt intimidated by Pessi who exhibited a certain
> inner strength she couldn't match. Baffled, she sat down near the girl,
> trying to think of what she could say to at least entice her to join the
> group. "Pessi, you're a nice girl, but you don't talk to anyone."
>
> "My life is different. I have nothing in common with any of you." Pessi's
> attention returned to her book.
>
> Chavy stared at the girl praying from her Psalm book. Pessi could be very
> pretty if she had a haircut and nicer clothes. Her blue eyes, outlined by
> dark, long, luxurious lashes, seemed sad. Chavy wondered what lay under
> this façade.
>
> Both girls were sixteen, but she had never seen Pessi at a school social
> event or class birthday party. She had to try one more time. "Pessi, we
> want to be your friend. Please come sit with us."
>
> "Chavy, I'm here for the Rabbi's lecture, and have to go when it's over. I
> don't have time to stay for refreshments."
>
> "All I'm asking you to do is sit with us. I already told my brother I'm
> not coming back to make Sudat shlishit for him. I don't feel like it.
> How about it? Come sit with us, stay for refreshments, and I'll go back
> to help you with whatever you have to do."
>
> In a soft voice Pessi answered, "I don't want to impose."
>
> The well-rehearsed Chavy shot back, "I don't want to go back to my
> brothers today. I'll go home with you and call my father after Shabbos to
> pick me up."
>
> Chavy was good. Pessi felt herself giving in. She smiled for the first
> time. "All right, Chavy. Let's go sit with the others."
>
> The tall girls reached the front of the auditorium just as the Rabbi with
> his salt and pepper beard started towards the podium.
>
> The audience turned their undivided attention to Rabbi Goldberg, but no
> one turned greater concentration to the speaker than Pessi.
>
> Today the theme of the lecture encompassed the difficult things confronted
> by people, and how individuals should perceive challenging situations.
>
> "If someone isn't well we look at that as unfortunate. It's terrible to
> see someone suffer with illness. As Jewish people we're told to say
> Psalms with the hope they recover. But what happens if they
> don't recover? What happens if we said our Tehillim, and they pass away,
> Heaven forbid, anyway? Should we think our prayers weren't answered?
> No." The Rabbi looked straight at Pessi and Chavy noticed his focus. "It
> has nothing to do with us. Let me try to bring it down to a more
> comprehensible level.
>
> "Let's say I bring to one of you high school girls a blueprint from the
> best architect in the country. He has drawn plans for the biggest, best
> building this country has ever seen. You're high school girls and, to the
> best of my knowledge, none of you ever studied architecture." The girls
> giggled before he continued. "So, I go to your desk, put down the drawing
> and ask what you think. What are you supposed to say? You have no idea
> how to evaluate such diagrams." The girls wondered where he was going
> with this analogy. "Why are the heating pipes over there? Why are there
> no windows on that wall? Considering the best architect in the country
> drew the plan wouldn't it make sense he knew what he was doing? The
> architect knew how different forces worked together to make the building a
> viable one. You see girls, you have no right interpreting the architect's
> drawing or expressing an opinion. Only someone of equal stature to the
> architect has that right.
>
> "The Almighty is the architect of the world. Only He knows if something
> is good or bad. Because we aren't on His level we can't objectively judge
> what He does. As with the blueprint, we can say the windows look better
> on the left rather than the right, but the architect knows about the
> airflow in the building, and how the other infrastructures will work
> together. We don't know architecture or understand the blueprint of the
> world. But as the customer trusts the architect, we trust the Almighty
> because only He knows what is best."
>
> Pessi turned closer attention to him with tears streaming down her face.
> The Rabbi continued to look straight at Pessi. Chavy guessed he was a
> family friend and understood whatever haunted Pessi. What was behind it?
>
> "We can say we're saying Tehillim for the sick and, Heaven forbid, they
> pass away. Weren't our prayers good enough? We know they were, but what
> the Almighty knows is good isn't always what we think of as acceptable.
> In the end we don't even know how to judge good as it pertains to
> individual situations. In short, girls, there are no answers. We know
> our Father in heaven doesn't intentionally hurt his children."
>
> Chavy noticed the Rabbi continuing to speak directly to a sobbing Pessi.
> If only Chavy understood her problem perhaps there would be something she
> could do.
>
> The Rabbi concluded, "Our responsibility is to show our Father we love Him
> as we carry out His commandments, religious obligations, with our
> heartfelt joy. Before I leave I want each of you to take your Tehillim
> book and say two Psalms for each of these people who aren't well.
> Hopefully, our prayers will be heard and these people will be granted a
> speedy and complete recovery." He read three names using the Hebrew name
> of the person followed by the Hebrew name of their mother. Pessi blinked
> back tears and opened the book. A short while later the Rabbi said, "Good
> Shabbos, girls" indicating the end of the lecture.
>
> The girls headed for the lunchroom where a beautiful dessert buffet
> awaited them. Beside Chavy Pessi said, "I have a question for the Rabbi.
> Be right back."
>
> Chavy's love for delectable goodies led her to the beautiful array of
> pastries. She spotted fruit on the other table and reluctantly took a
> plate of the colorful, but less fattening food.
>
> Chavy glanced at Pessi talking to Rabbi Goldberg. She must have had a
> simple question. She spent only a minute with the Rabbi before heading
> back to Chavy.
>
> Pessi picked up a pastry. "These pastries are great!"
>
> "You're so skinny you could probably eat the whole table and never show
> it. I have weight to lose so I stick to fruit. Have some, it's good."
>
> Pessi laughed, reaching for another pastry. "Chavy, I have to get going.
> My mother isn't well."
>
> "No problem. I can eat only so much fruit."
>
> When they finished eating Pessi and Chavy headed for the coat room under
> the watchful gazes of Miriam and Ruthy.
>
> Pessi wondered if she was making the right move. How come she decided to
> leave the school with Chavy today? Was she proving that despite her
> strong resolve she needed someone? Absolutely not! She predicted that by
> Monday Chavy would be totally bored with her and both of them would return
> to their own corner of the world. That would be all the proof she needed
> to show her mother that she didn't need anyone else in her life.
>
> Pessi lived some distance from the school. On the streets they traveled
> Chavy didn't see any of the sights she associated with Shabbos afternoon
> in her neighborhood.
>
> Pessi clung to her pride, still not completely sure about letting another
> girl into her life. She glanced at Chavy's beautiful gray wool coat with
> black velvet collar and cuffs. She remembered how it felt to be wearing
> such a fine garment, but that was in the past.
>
> Chavy felt Pessi's discomfort. She tried chatting about school
> activities, upcoming tests and the weather. Pessi wanted to discuss
> classes and course work.
>
> Chavy still believed Trigonometry to be an obscure planet, but in her soft
> voice Pessi discussed it with the ease Chavy spoke of her favorite foods.
>
> Fifteen minutes later they arrived. Like others in the neighborhood the
> small, run-down house appeared as if it had seen better days. Chavy
> didn't care. Over the years she had been friends with girls from the
> biggest and best homes and others from houses like this. She didn't
> choose her friends according to their zip codes.
>
> The two girls entered Pessi's dingy foyer. Immediately a round faced
> little boy ran to her. "Good Shabbos, Pessi!"
>
> Pessi picked him up asking, "Moshe, did you take care of Mommy?"
>
> His expression turned serious. "Mommy read me a book.
>
> "I'm sure she enjoyed that. Let's go see her."
>
> On the sofa in the dining room lay Pessi's mother, a gaunt and obviously
> very ill woman. Pessi gave her mother a kiss before stooping to pick up
> her blanket from the floor. She lovingly spread it over her. "Good
> Shabbos, Mommy. This is Chavy Levy from school. Tatty said she could
> come home with me."
>
> "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chavy."
>
> Chavy hoped her shock didn't show. The Rabbi was Pessi's father? "It's
> so nice to meet you, Mrs. Goldberg."
>
> "How did Tatty's lecture go, Pessi?"
>
> A bell rang in Chavy's mind. Whatever was in the Rabbi's speech today had
> been planned to address an issue in his daughter's life. Gazing at the
> emaciated woman on the couch wearing a pretty scarf on her head Chavy
> began to understand the message.
>
> Pessi's eyes darted from her mother to Chavy. "Chavy didn't know my
> father is Rabbi Goldberg. I never told anyone. The lecture was one of
> the best he ever gave."
>
> "Why did you keep your father's identity a secret?"
>
> "I feel better being a private person."
>
> "Even though people know who your father is, you can still be a private
> person. Could you please set out sudat shlishit before Tatty gets home?"
>
> Pessi chose to ignore her mother's latest prelude to a fight. "Sure.
> I'll do it now."
>
> After arriving home Rabbi Goldberg greeted their guest before turning to
> his wife. "Shayna, can I help you to the table?"
>
> "I would like that, thank you."
>
> The Rabbi supported his wife the short distance from the sofa to the
> table. He then said, "Everybody can go and wash."
>
> Moshe brought a bowl and cup of water for his mother to ritually wash her
> hands. Mrs. Goldberg was too weak to wash at the sink with everyone else.
>
> In the tiny kitchen with doors falling off cabinets Chavy asked Pessi,
> "Can you come to my house after Shabbos if I help you clean up? My father
> can pick us up."
>
> "I'll ask." Back at the table the Rabbi said the blessing on the bread
> and they all took a bite from their roll. Pessi asked, "Tatty, Chavy
> wants to know if I can go to her house after Shabbos. Can I?"
>
> Mrs. Goldberg immediately answered, "Go, dear. It's good for you to get
> out." Rabbi Goldberg added, "You can go if you have a ride home."
>
> "I'll ask my father" Chavy said, "But it shouldn't be a problem."
>
> "In that case I give my permission. Have a good time."
>
> Two dark haired teenage boys with small beards entered the house. Pessi
> said, "Those are my brothers."
>
> Chavy glanced at the boys headed for the kitchen to wash in preparation
> for their meal.
>
> Avi Goldberg heard his father say, "Chavy, your father and I are very
> close friends. I know Rabbi Levy for many years."
>
> Avi stifled his laughter. So his best friend Yigal Levy's sister was
> Pessi's new friend? He already agreed with all the complaints about her.
> Why did Pessi pick up such a pain in the neck?
>
> After a brief talk by the Rabbi on the week's Torah reading Chavy quietly
> asked Pessi, "Why did you keep your father's identity a secret?"
>
> Pessi thought about the giant plunge she had taken, wondering if she
> should share anything more about her life. Seeing the sincere expression
> in Chavy's eyes convinced her. "Goldberg is a very common name. No one
> knows except you now. I'm happier being anonymous."
>
> The two girls said the blessing after the meal before going into the
> dinette.
>
> Pessi leaned forward and started in a low voice. "My mother has cancer.
> She's getting chemo once a week, but her reports aren't good. We moved to
> Jenna ten months ago to be closer to better hospitals. My father used to
> have a big congregation and good job, but since moving here he hasn't been
> successful. I wear weekday clothes on the Sabbath because my last Shabbos
> outfit doesn't fit.
>
> "I didn't want to get close to the girls at school. They look at my
> disgusting hair, inappropriate clothes and don't want that either."
> Chavy's eyes remained riveted on Pessi.
>
> "I'm so nervous about my mother that all I do is go to school, keep up
> this house, help my mother and family, and pray. My father gave the
> speech today for me. I love my mother and can't face what's happening."
>
> Chavy wondered how Pessi dealt with all these challenges.
>
> "You're the first girl I brought home from school since moving to Jenna.
> My parents always say they want me to have friends, but I'm ashamed of our
> situation. I prefer being alone with my problems rather than being the
> object of pity or ridicule. This issue has been a source of conflict
> between my mother and me."
>
> "Pessi, if you hung up a few curtains with some pictures this place
> wouldn't be half bad."
>
> "We can't afford curtains, and don't have any pictures. We had paintings
> where we lived before, but Tatty sold them for Mommy's medical care. The
> drapes in the old house were custom made so we left them."
>
> "My mother has a closet full of curtains. Every time she sees a sale she
> replaces ours. I have some clothes I got too fat for. I'll show them to
> you later. Don't be ashamed. None of us lives in a palace.
>
> "You may not be aware of it, but there's Chesed at school. As you know
> this group does community service. They can come and help you out a few
> times a week. I know the girl in charge of it. I'll discuss it with her
> tomorrow."
>
> "Don't talk to her, Chavy. I'm ashamed. My beautiful mother is so sick
> and looks terrible."
>
> "Don't be ashamed. There's nothing wrong with you. When your mother
> recovers she'll look better."
>
> Pessi started crying, arousing Chavy's concern. "Pessi, I didn't mean to
> upset you."
>
> "The doctors say now Mommy won't get any better. They want to stop her
> therapy."
>
> Chavy put her arm around Pessi's shoulders. From what little she
> understood about cancer, she knew that when a doctor said a person
> wouldn't get any better and stopped the treatment it didn't mean they
> expected good news.
>
> "We all know it's the end. My mother is happy you came over today. She's
> been telling me for a long time I need to find friends. I tried to ignore
> it because I have too much to do and don't want anyone to know how poor we
> are."
>
> "Don't worry about what the others think. Tonight we're raiding my
> mother's curtain closet. Tomorrow after school we go to work." They
> smiled at each other. Pessi had a friend for the first time in years.
>
> Chavy called her father after Shabbos. He agreed to pick them up and
> bring Pessi back later.
>
> Chavy approached the sofa. "Thank you for a wonderful Shabbos, Mrs.
> Goldberg."
>
> "The pleasure is all ours, Chavy. It's wonderful to see Pessi with a girl
> her age. My little one, Suri, is at a friend's now, but Pessi stays home
> to do everything I should be doing around here."
>
> "Mommy! I told you I help you because I love you. Don't insinuate I'm
> something exceptional when I'm just doing what I want."
>
> Pessi turned and led the way to the foyer.
>
> Back at Chavy's Yigal stood in the kitchen with a dishtowel over his arm
> glaring at his sister. "I'll get you for this, Chavy Levy! This is cruel
> and unusual punishment! Mommy felt that since my mouth caused you to not
> come right home I deserved this horrible fate. Our dear sister Chumy
> insisted I dry. It should be illegal to have little sisters!"
>
> "Yigal, when you find yourself a good wife I'll help you pack your bags."
>
> Pessi joined the laughter unable to remember the last time she laughed
> from genuine happiness.
>
> Yigal turned to Pessi. "Is Avi Goldberg your brother?"
>
> "Yes. Do you know him?"
>
> "Sure. We go to Yeshiva together. I tell him about my pain in the neck
> sister, but he insists his sister's a doll. Can you teach my sister to be
> a doll?"
>
> "My brothers look at me as a doll because we treat each other with
> respect. Respect works two ways."
>
> "Yigal, after you learn from the Goldberg boys how to treat a good sister
> perhaps Pessi can teach me a few things. Until then, cut the
> complaining."
>
> Chumy said, "Back to work, Yigal. Only a few dishes to go."
>
> Mrs. Levy, a tall lady whose daughters bore her winning smile came to
> greet Pessi. Chavy asked, "Mommy, you know all those curtains you have
> hanging in the closet?"
>
> "Yes, dear. Why?"
>
> "Can we go through them to choose some for Pessi's house?"
>
> "Sure. I'm sure Mrs. Goldberg will enjoy them."
>
> Bassie Levy visited Shayna Goldberg every week since the family moved to
> Jenna and they became good friends, but Bassie knew the extent of her
> illness. Last week she confided they were stopping treatment. Everyone
> knew what that meant.
>
> Downstairs the girls started going through the closet. In time they came
> back with curtains and a few paintings. Mrs. Levy approved everything
> before the two headed up to Chavy's room.
>
> Chavy smiled at Pessi. "You're a very pretty girl. All you need is a
> good haircut. I cut Chumy's and some of my friends' hair all the time. I
> enjoy doing it and they always come out of my bathroom looking great. Can
> I do yours?"
>
> "If it's not too much trouble, I'd love it. I can't remember the last
> time I had a good haircut."
>
> In the upstairs bathroom she took her scissors and began working her
> magic. Once done she stood behind Pessi admiring the image in the mirror.
> "Pessi, you have the darkest, thickest hair I ever saw. You'll be the
> envy of every girl in the school."
>
> "When my hair's properly cut it's my best feature."
>
> No it's not. Those beautiful blue eyes with your dark hair are an
> unbeatable match."
>
> "This feels great. Thank you."
>
> In her bedroom Chavy took two outfits from her closet. "Here are two good
> Shabbos outfits that don't fit anymore. If they fit they're yours.
> Here's a pair of black shoes I outgrew. They're in perfect condition.
> Want to try them on?"
>
> Pessi gazed at the lovely clothing. Her jaw settled into the same
> stubborn line Chavy witnessed earlier. "I feel strange accepting these
> beautiful things. I never took charity before."
>
> "This isn't charity. I don't want to keep pushing the hangers that
> represent the way I used to be."
>
> Pessi took a long while to make up her mind. Chavy thought she would
> leave the clothes on the bed.
>
> Eventually Pessi took off her sweater and pulled on the top to a black and
> white outfit that matched the pretty black pumps. The shoes fit
> perfectly. Seeing her reflection in the mirror she couldn't believe the
> difference. She tried on the other stylish gray and pink wool outfit.
>
> Chavy sighed. "I wish I could be as skinny as you."
>
> "Don't be silly, Chavy. You look fine the way you are!"
>
> "That's very nice of you, but I can read a scale."
>
> Pessi sat on one of the beds observing Chavy's attractive room with white
> walls and pretty blue plush carpet. She turned back to Chavy. "At first
> I believed that by Monday morning you would be sick of me and my problems,
> and we would have both crept back into our own lives. But I was wrong. I
> know you aren't turned off at our run-down house or my beautiful mother
> who looks awful now. I knew from the beginning you didn't take a look at
> my inappropriate clothes and figure they told my whole story.
>
> "I'm familiar with most of the girls. Tatty learns the holy books with
> many of their fathers. A lot of their mothers visit mine. Since moving
> to Jenna I insisted that they not tell anyone I'm their daughter. I
> didn't need pity from the entire town.
>
> "If I didn't have to go straight home after school, I might be willing to
> make friends with the girls. My mother has been trying to get me to do
> that. We argue about it constantly. I have the right to run my own life,
> but she feels that I'm too much of a loner. I love her, but this is one
> topic we'll never agree on. I'm just more comfortable being a hermit."
>
> "Are you really comfortable like that?"
>
> "I don't know right now. Let's see how it goes. I can be social with the
> other girls at school, but our relationships will end at the school door."
>
> Chavy ignored her last statement. "I want Chesed to help you out. You
> need and deserve it. I'll just say one of your parents isn't well so the
> responsibility for everything is on your shoulders."
>
> "In spite of our poverty, I'm a proud person and never took such generous
> charity."
>
> "It's not charity. Chesed girls go out to help others all week long.
> People say they need help and we send them girls."
>
> Pessi remained quiet for a long time. Chavy thought she would refuse her
> suggestion.
>
> "I could use the help. Thank you." For the first time in five years
> Pessi admitted needing anyone. It shocked her to realize this big step
> felt mighty good.
>
> "Tomorrow in school I'll try to be more a part of the class. I'll say my
> Tehillim, but will also try to talk to the other girls."
>
> "For the fall holidays we attended your father's Synagogue. My mother
> mentioned our fathers were classmates in Yeshiva. Did you know that?"
>
> "He never told me their relationship dated back to their days in school."
>
> Mrs. Levy knocked on the door. "Girls, Tatty can take Pessi home now."
>
> Chavy helped Pessi take everything out to the car.
>
> At home Pessi's mother lay on her couch and her father was studying the
> Holy books in his office. When she entered the room Mrs. Goldberg stared
> at her. "Pessi! You're gorgeous! Who cut your hair?"
>
> "Chavy. She cuts her sister Chumy's hair all the time. What do you
> think?" She turned around to give her mother the full effect.
>
> "I love it. You must keep it up."
>
> Her mother noticed the bags she carried. "What do you have there?"
>
> "Mrs. Levy buys curtains every time she sees a sale so has lots of them in
> the basement. She gave me some to try to make this place look better.
> They also gave me a few pictures."
>
> "I'll get Avi and Yitzy to hang up rods and picture hooks tomorrow. What
> else do you have?"
>
> "Chavy gained some weight so doesn't fit into a few of her outfits.
> There's also a pair of shoes she outgrew."
>
> Mrs. Goldberg admired everything. "They're all beautiful, Pessi. Wear
> everything well, dear."
>
> Pessi kissed her mother good night and headed for her room. Shayna knew
> Pessi withdrew from the world of other girls because of their poverty and
> her illness. She would take her guilt to her grave.
>
>
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