[stylist] Confusion in exerpt
Bridgit Pollpeter
bpollpeter at hotmail.com
Fri Oct 15 21:29:20 UTC 2010
Judith,
For starters, this blurb is so short and alone, it does have some
confusing elements. The way it is written does not provide clarity.
Sheila remembers something on the way to her car. We get this memory of
a man talking to Mrs. Hamilton. With this text alone, we have no clue
who Mrs. Hamilton is. When you say "she" ran to the window, you use a
pronoun which is vague and does not necessarily have to be attached to
Mrs. Hamilton which means the reader now knows a Sheila, Mrs. Hamilton,
strange man and a Jennifer are characters in this story, but so who is
the she? The confusion is in understanding who is who and what they are
doing.
It also reads this way:
Sheila walks to her car and remembers something. Then we get a memory
of a strange man dropping off a mysterious package for a Jennifer. Then
a female runs to a window to watch the man leave and does not look at
the package.
It is not clear who Mrs. Hamilton is and it is not clear, based on this
small scene, if more than one person is involved in this, especially
since Sheila is not described as also being Mrs. Hamilton.
The way it reads also seems like the she running to the window was not
the same person who spoke with the man. In this small text, we have no
context for who anyone mentioned is, why this package is weird or
important or who is doing what.
As I experience myself, what is clear to us as the writer, is not always
clear to the reader. For just a small exerpt, I find the story
intriguing so this is why I mention any suggestion because I would like
to see this be clear, concise writing.
Bridgit
-----Original Message-----
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1. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
2. Re: Question about word usage (Judith Bron)
3. Re: Question about word usage (Judith Bron)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:02:55 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <C8838EBEFC734F2BA89B0EF4F1723D0D at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
The guy disappearing is supposed to be creepy. Can you imagine the guy
just
disappearing into thin air? That was the whole point behind this
character
who only has a brief part in the novel. It's one more mystery
surrounding
Jennifer and the letter. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 3:32 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>I think that sounds better than spooked. I mean, someone just
>disappearing
>into nothingness is kind of creepy. I had that happen to me once and
it
>was very unsettling.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 10:06 AM
> To: <jsorozco at gmail.com>; "Writer's Division Mailing List"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>> Hi Joe, Appalled means angry. Why should she be angry? It was a
>> normal
>> day when the stranger knocked or rang the bell. Here is what I came
up
>> with. I'm interested in your reaction.
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
>> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
perished in
>> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
>> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
>> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
>> watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street.
>> There was no man walking away from the house. She felt her blood run
>> cold. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the little packet
and
>> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 9:37 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>>
>>> Hi Judith,
>>>
>>> Your sentence reads:
>>>
>>> Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the
>>> little
>>> packet
>>> and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>>
>>> Option 1:
>>>
>>> She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the
>>> little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>>
>>> Option 2:
>>>
>>> Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
>>> packet
>>> and
>>> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>>
>>> The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the character
>>> runs
>>> to
>>> her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such descriptive
word
>>> means
>>> she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people aren't
likely to
>>> dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem
a
>>> little
>>> disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I would
spend
>>> more
>>> time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
>>> visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
>>> looked,
>>> something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the visitor
as
>>> the
>>> character.
>>>
>>> I hope that helps.
>>>
>>> Best,
>>>
>>> Joe
>>>
>>> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
>>> sleeves,
>>> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Judith Bron
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>>> To: Stylist
>>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>>
>>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
>>> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate
>>> that I should be using. Any help would be most appreciated.
>>> Thanks, Judith
>>>
>>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
>>> had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
>>> perished in the holocaust. This little packet containing a small
>>> book and paper were given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer
>>> Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents. It should be presented to
>>> her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't tell Jennifer or your
>>> husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The man left the
>>> house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive away. But
>>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
>>> away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom
>>> without looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers
>>> in her dresser. _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site:
>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>> stylist mailing list
>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
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>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
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>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
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>
> _______________________________________________
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> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
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------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:03:49 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Question about word usage
Message-ID: <D93C9BE5ABE14F31AE348B0631A5977F at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
I'll go back and see how that works. Thanks!
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 3:17 PM
Subject: [stylist] Question about word usage
Judith,
"Gripped with apprehension" or "She felt her blood run cold" are too
much of a clich?. The first one is better than the latter, but I would
find something more creative. I think "spooked" worked just fine, like
I said before, just drop the "totally."
Bridgit
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of stylist-request at nfbnet.org
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 12:00 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 23
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Today's Topics:
1. Sense of Murder (Bridgit Pollpeter)
2. Please join my blog (Bridgit Pollpeter)
3. please support my blog (Bridgit Pollpeter)
4. Re: Please join my blog (BDM)
5. New list member (Bill Outman)
6. Re: please support my blog (cheryl echevarria)
7. Re: Please join my blog (KajunCutie926 at aol.com)
8. Re: Please join my blog (Anita Adkins)
9. Re: New list member (cheryl echevarria)
10. Re: Please join my blog (Judith Bron)
11. need help (Hina)
12. Re: Please join my blog (Robert Leslie Newman)
13. Re: need help (Judith Bron)
14. question about word usage (Judith Bron)
15. Re: question about word usage (Justin Williams)
16. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
17. Re: question about word usage (Angela Fowler)
18. Re: question about word usage (Barbara Hammel)
19. Re: New list member (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
20. Re: question about word usage (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
21. Re: New list member (Robert Leslie Newman)
22. Re: Please join my blog (Jacobson, Shawn D)
23. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
24. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
25. Re: question about word usage (Jacobson, Shawn D)
26. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
27. Re: question about word usage (Joe Orozco)
28. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
29. Re: question about word usage (Joe Orozco)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 13:57:22 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Sense of Murder
Message-ID: <SNT136-w888BAEAC10A6C78645C68C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
JC,
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. This was just an
assignment for a class and not a serious attempt. I actually wrote it
in a 12 hour time span so that accounts for a lot of the grammar errors
and plot details. A lot of people have suggested that I keep at this
and turn it into a novel. I find this interesting since I had no
intention of picking it up again, but maybe I will.
While most readers have appreciated some of the explanations for
blindness specific things like JAWS, I agree that I can leave this out
or at least "show" it instead of "tell" it.
I also was telling it all through a blind POV so that is why I do not
have visual descriptions unless they are from Ayden's past (before he
was blind) or when Salma describes things (like the house) for him. I
tried to describe Salma and others without using visual descriptions,
trying to keep the POV in a blind perspective. This is actually
difficult for me as I'm a very visual person even though I am now blind.
I found myself writing visual descriptions when they shouldn't be there!
*smile*
When Ayden notices Salma's jasmine perfume, it was not the first time,
but just a sensory detail in the scene. He knew she was next to him
because, well he knew her presence was there, but he can smell her. It
was merely a sensory detail and not because he had never smelled her
before.
Thanks again for taking time to read through this. I appreciate all
your comments.
Bridgit
> From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 21
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 10:33:28 -0500
>
> Send stylist mailing list submissions to
> stylist at nfbnet.org
>
> To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
> stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>
> You can reach the person managing the list at stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>
> When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
> than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>
>
> Today's Topics:
>
> 1. Re: Danielle's story (Danielle Montour)
> 2. Re: Short story: warrior (Shelley J. Alongi)
> 3. Re: detective short fiction "Sense of Murder" some language,
> alludes to sexual content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR) 4. Re:
> Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor" (Jacobson, Shawn D) 5.
> Lighting the Night for the Blind (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 13:14:16 -0400
> From: Danielle Montour <dannivoiceangel333 at gmail.com>
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Danielle's story
> Message-ID: <4cb5e8fa.e055e60a.367b.ffffc33f at mx.google.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1; format=flowed
>
> Hi,
> I haven't received this advice from anyone else, so I was wondering
> what you mean by this, and what I should do instead.
>
> Danielle
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 09:26:54 -0400
> Subject: [stylist] Danielle's story
>
> Hi, Danielle
> It seems to me the story would benefit by putting it into active voice
> (in other words, get rid of the "you would have..."), since it is a
> battlefield story. Just my take.
> Lori
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:36:06 -0700
> From: "Shelley J. Alongi" <QueenofBells at roadrunner.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Short story: warrior
> Message-ID: <00ed01cb6b59$517f7500$6601a8c0 at Shelley>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
> reply-type=original
>
> Interesting story it will be nice with a little work as are all
> stories. It's part of being a writer, always making our stories
> better. You
have
> gotten some great advice here I hope you'll work on it. Perhaps you
can
> submit it to the NFB youth contest this year.
>
>
>
> Shelley J. Alongi
> NFBWD Slate and Style editor
> Home Office: (714) 525-9632
> Read my Metrolink writings and other essays and stories
> http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=1&author
> =AlongiSJ&alpha=A
>
> Updated: September 18, 2010
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Danielle Montour" <dannivoiceangel333 at gmail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, October 10, 2010 5:52 PM
> Subject: [stylist] Short story: warrior
>
>
> > Hi,
> > I wrote this story two years ago when I was 11, and I want to
> > improve it. I still want to keep it a short story, I just want to
> > make it better. Could anyone help me with this? Also, if I'm not
> > supposed to send attachments to this list, I'm sorry. I never heard
> > I couldn't, so I'm assuming that it's ok.
> >
> > Danielle
> >
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ----------
>
>
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> > for
> > stylist:
> >
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/queenofbells%40
roadrunner.com
> >
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 3
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:46:56 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] detective short fiction "Sense of Murder" some
> language, alludes to sexual content
> Message-ID: <201010140446.o9E4kxXF022559 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed
>
> Bridgid,
> this is a very cool story! it draws me in right
> away. yes, as others mentioned salting the
> history around with people and places would improve it.
> and:
> ... Vague insinuations were the closest anyone came to mentioning
?murder" ...
> ---instead, you could have given an example
> incident of "vague insinuations" to heighten the
> emotional value and so to the reader they wouldn't be so vague.
> instead of telling us some other things around this point in the
> story, like his not fitting in, give us an event, somebody's reaction,
> etc., more concrete. also, a little more about Ayden and his
> appearance would be nice early in the story.
>
> okay, describe Salma. is she a darkly passionate
> latina? is she a tall and flowing statuesque
> blonde? (these days Juarez doesn't necessarily
> mean latina) or describe her from Ayden's view:
> is her voice quietly simmering? does she always
> have a scent that reminded one of a south seas
> island? when she is with Ayden do they laugh a
> lot together? As a blind man I would say that
> some of these really fit better early near the
> introduction of Salma. I guess the most critical
> question: does she love ayden? how does she love ayden?
>
> wow! good drawing of Lucy, and A.W.! you have me on the edge of my
> seat!
>
> ?Maybe he just wants to keep your family secrets,
> well, secret. Some people don?t like giving out info about anything.?
> ?I just feel like he knows more than he?s letting on. Mom just played
> dumb too.? ?We?ll find something. Don?t worry.?
> ---is great dialogue.
>
> "sharply" is good here, heightens suspense.
> prize winning roses is a little stereotypical,
> but stereotypes often spring from a proportion of truth.
>
> okay, A.W. is in the love note, and now Alice
> Whitley is the only name mentioned by the
> Sheriff. but Ayden doesn't follow up with the
> sheriff with a question about her? perhaps your
> intention is to draw Ayden as excessively
> introspective, overly shy, or slow on the
> uptake? the followup on A.W. to the sheriff, and
> only at the Templeton home does he notice Salma's
> scent? just saying: as a blind man I think most
> blind men would have noticed her scent before
> that. but maybe that's your intention.
>
> also, I particularly liked your writing the
> Sheriff's description of the "templeton men" and
> Salma's reaction to the Sheriff.
>
> minor pedantic point: "tresses" is actually
> misused in your text unless Ayden is wearing an
> unusual hair fashion for a man.
>
> Very good description of the old Templeton
> home. and of Alice Whitley. it is obvious that she still loves Henry.
>
> This dialogue is especially good in its
> simplicity! Alice continued to spill her story, hoping for redemption
perhaps.
> ?The final straw came right before his death. We
> had carried on for almost forty-years and I knew
> it had to stop. We fought. I threatened to tell
> Lucy and that was that. He left me promising to
> choose. I waited for an answer, but a week later, Henry was found
dead.?
> ?Did you ever tell anyone?? Ayden asked.
>
> I kinda wished for some description or image of
> alice whitley at their departure, but again I'm probably being
pedantic.
> Ayden and Salma spending the night together in
> the Templeton home, very good plot element and very nicely done!
> "DeMint, he swore to himself." I'm guessing you meant damnit, and not
> a reference to a south carolina senator?
>
> the pacing, wording and imagery in this area of
> your story is wonderful. absolutely right and
> sets the reader up for surprise by the fire.
> "vigilante guarding" maybe you mean "vigilant
> guarding?" or "of being a vigilante?"
>
> she slowly regained a conscience state
> should be "conscious state."
>
> their escape is very exciting and also quite
> plausible. hope you revisit the harlaquinesque escape! cool ref.
>
>
> Her perfume, it?s the same smell I noticed in the closet last night.
> this is a very good element in your plot. as I read, my mind is
> already reeling off all kinds of possibilities.
>
> glad to see the love blossom between Ayden and
> Salma. and you have him acting in ways to protect her by the end. your
> ending sure does leave the reader wishing for more. like this is the
> first of at least three chapters.
>
> Bridgid, this is a very good story, and I only
> saw a couple of spelling or word choice issues.
> the narrative flows very well and keeps my attention.
>
> though I like the public to know about how I do
> access information and do things as a blind
> person, in places, such as the hot keys
> reference, the asides and apostrophes explaining
> how bAyden did something do sometimes detract
> from your narrative. I think for some readers
> the number and frequency of these might actually
> have an effect on the reader opposite to your
> intention. some readers might well be irritated
> by them, or feel like "what's the big deal, so what."
> so, I probably just dropped a controversial comment there, lol.
>
> I liked your story very much. are there any more
> Salmas living in Ayden's building?
> jc
>
>
> At 09:05 PM 10/7/2010, you wrote:
>
> >Hey guys,
> >
> >I'm taking a detective fiction class this
> >semester for an upper lit credit. We had to
> >write detective shorts and I thought I would
> >share mine with you. Keep in mind that this is
> >not my genre and also, I wrote it in about a
> >12-our time span. Yes, I'm a procrastinator! *smile*
> >
> >It was fun though so enjoy.
> >
> >Bridgit P
> >
> >Sense of Murder
> >
> >Ayden sat in his father?s leather wingback chair
> >rolling a large key between his fingers. The
> >metal key had been cold, but now was warmed by
> >his hands. He gripped the key in his palm and
> >rubbed a thumb across the rough , rusty
> >surface. Three weeks ago, Ayden had merely been
> >researching the mysterious death of his
> >grandfather for a book he was writing. Now, he
> >sat among items wondering if his grandfather had been murdered.
> >Ayden?s father, Nick, had found Henry, his grandfather, lying at the
> >bottom of the staircase in his home. Nick never spoke about
> >the incident after reporting it to the
> >police. He would not speak to Ayden about
> >Henry?s death either, but he was allowing Ayden
> >and Salma to search through any items Nick kept.
> >No one had been sure what happened. Lucy,
> >Ayden?s grandmother, had been present too when
> >Henry?s body was found. The police recorded the
> >death as an accidental fall. Many silently pointed fingers at Lucy
though.
> >Lucy had grown distraught during the past few
> >months before Henry?s death. Friends and family
> >reported that she had been distracted often or
> >in an irritated mood. This was unlike the warm
> >and tender grandmother Ayden had grown up with.
> >When Nick found his father?s body, Lucy had gone
> >wild, screaming, unable to leave Henry?s
> >lifeless body. Eventually Nick placed her in a
> >care home. Here Lucy had reached an almost
> >catatonic state until she too had passed.
> >Gossips spread the news, sweeping far and
> >wide. Lucy was crazy, they said. She went mad,
> >she killed her husband. It was juicy, just what
> >a small town needed. The police never looked
> >into the possibility, but Lucy died with a
> >scarlet letter attached to her memory. Ayden
> >could never believe that Lucy would hurt
> >anyone. Lucy had been fond of Ayden, guiding
> >him, encouraging him. ?You?re so full of
> >potential, Ayden. I can see fire in your eyes,?
> >she used to tell him. When Ayden lost his
> >vision, Lucy had been the one person who supported him, still
encouraging.
> >For years, though, there had been whispers of
> >foul play, but no one ever spoke about the
> >rumors. Vague insinuations were the closest
> >anyone came to mentioning ?murder.? Ayden,
> >though, had never played by the rules. His
> >mother referred to him as the ?black sheep of
> >the family? whenever she threw a dinner
> >party. Ayden never felt like he fit in his
> >family?s world of snobbish dinner parties, elite
> >country clubs and preferential treatment at most
> >Ivy League universities. He had already been a disappointment to his
> >family before a car accident left him blind. Seven-years later,
> >Ayden had come to terms with his blindness, but
> >his family accepted him only out of duty. His
> >father had been clear when saying, ?This
> >condition of yours is not suitable for the
> >courtroom, but the firm can take you on in a
> >capacity for research, perhaps. Maybe a paralegal position will be
suitable.?
> >Ayden was not able to live with this attitude
> >hanging over him. After completing his
> >bachelor?s in literature, Ayden took up a career
> >writing for any newspapers or journals that
> >accepted his entries. Writing for a small
> >literary journal allowed Ayden to work on his
> >novel which had turned into a fictionalized
> >account of his grandfather?s death. Asking his
> >father for any information about his
> >grandfather?s life, was the reason Ayden now sat
> >in his father?s study. He found more, he
> >thought, than his father knew about though.
> >?So what?s next?? Salma asked. Salma lived
> >across the hall from Ayden in his
> >building. They had become friends, and Salma
> >now was helping him research his grandfather?s life.
> >Tapping the key in his palm, Ayden said, ?I?m
> >not sure. This letter says a lot.?
> >Ayden closed his eyes thinking on this
> >letter. It was evidence, even if
> >circumstantial, that suggested, if Lucy knew
> >about it, she could have killed Henry.
> >There was a pause then paper crackled before
> >Salma spoke. ?It?s pretty clear from this
> >letter that your grandfather was having an
> >affair. I wonder if we can figure out these initials, A. W.? Ayden
> >shut his eyes thinking, trying to remember anyone he had ever met
> >with A. W. for initials. ?I don?t know,? he
sighed.
> >As Ayden and Salma leafed through pictures and
> >notes, they had found an old copy of Wuthering
> >Heights. Ayden remembered the year Henry had
> >given the third edition book to Lucy for
> >Christmas. Lucy had sat unwrapping the gift,
> >then exclaimed, ?Oh,? before looking up with
> >tears in her eyes. Wuthering Heights had always
> >been her favorite novel. Lucy had been the one
> >person to encourage Ayden to follow his dream
> >and take up writing instead of joining the
> >family law firm. ?You?re meant to follow your
> >own path,? Lucy had told Ayden
> >once. Twenty-years later, Ayden and Salma found
> >a letter enclosed in the pages of the book.
> >Ayden touched the thick, but stiff piece of
> >paper and held it out to Salma to inspect. She
> >told him the letter appeared old, but not as old
> >as the book. A few of the torn edges of the
> >letter were turning yellow. The letter was simple as she read: Henry,
> >my love, I can not wait to see you again. I hoped and
> >when I saw you coming down the road, my heart
> >leaped. I still feel your touch. How much
> >longer must we wait? Please, my darling, give
> >me what I ask before it is too late.
> >Love, A. W.
> >?What now? Where do we go next?? Salma asked.
> >Ayden held the rusted, copper key up in front of
> >him. ?We visit the old Templeton mansion.?
> >The Templeton mansion was the Victorian home
> >Henry and Lucy had lived in for years. The
> >family still owned it, but it had sat empty for
> >years. Ayden thought that maybe more secrets
> >were hidden within the walls of the Templeton house, eager to be
discovered.
> >
> >
> >
> >Ayden sat in the car as Salma drove. Neither
> >spoke as Ayden?s fingers slid across the pages
> >on his lap. Reading his Braille notes, Ayden
> >wondered where to start once they reached the
> >small town where his grandparents and father had
> >grown up. Henry had started a small law firm in
> >town, but eventually it grew. Henry and Lucy
> >had moved when Nick had been ten. Nick never
> >spoke about his childhood though. Ayden really
> >didn?t know much about his family?s past. Lucy
> >and Henry had moved back to their old house once
> >Nick took the firm over, but Ayden had rarely
> >visited the home. After Henry had died, Lucy,
> >unable to cope with his death, had moved into an
> >upscale nursing home in the City, and Nick left
> >the house untouched. The house had sat empty now for ten years. As
> >the car slowed, Ayden looked up at Salma. ?Are we there?? ?Yes.
> >What?s our first stop?? ?I?m figuring this out as we go along. I
> >guess the police station.? Salma was silent before saying, ?You okay?
> >I know your dad wasn?t
happy.?
> >Ayden had questioned his father about the
> >letter, but Nick had gone quiet and cold before
> >telling Ayden, ?Leave it alone. We don?t dig up family history.?
> >Ayden tried to coax Nick to say more, but the subject was closed.
> >?Yeah. I wish he would have told us more. Explained something,? Ayden
said.
> >?Maybe he just wants to keep your family
> >secrets, well, secret. Some people don?t like giving out info about
anything.?
> >?I just feel like he knows more than he?s
> >letting on. Mom just played dumb too.?
> >?We?ll find something. Don?t worry.?
> >Salma was always reassuring Ayden. She had
> >become a constant in his life. The only real
> >constant he had. She had shown up one day,
> >knocking on his door, holding a dish in her
> >hands, offering Ayden some home made
> >enchiladas. That had been the beginning of
> >their friendship. They had spent many nights
> >talking until three in the morning and hanging
> >out on weekends. Salma was the one connection
> >Ayden had to the outside world. Once moving
> >away from his family, he had become a recluse of
> >sorts. He showed up to the office for work,
> >attended cocktail parties required for work and
> >even dated a couple of girls, but Salma was the
> >one person he truly felt comfortable with. Her
> >infectious way of always looking at things
> >positively seemed like a novelty to Ayden. She
> >could always make him smile. When he began
> >writing the book about Henry, Salma had offered to assist in anyway
she could.
> >?I?m really glad you?re here,? Ayden said.
> >
> >?Yeah, yeah. I?m waiting for my pay
> >check.? Salma giggled as she pulled into a
> >parking stall. ?I think we?re here.?
> >While Salma dropped coins into the parking
> >meter, Ayden tapped his cane along the brick
> >walls looking for the door. Hearing the clink
> >of glass as his cane tapped, Ayden was sure he found the door. ?No
> >Braille, is this it?? he shouted back to Salma. ?I believe so,? she
> >answered rushing to catch up. They entered the quiet, almost
> >lazy-like atmosphere of the police station. Ayden moved
> >towards the sound of clacking as some one
> >pressed keys on a computer keyboard with a
> >practiced efficiency. This, he thought, must be a reception desk.
> >Stepping up to a smooth feeling counter, Ayden said, ?Excuse me.?
> >?Can I help you?? a woman?s bored voice said.
> >?We were wondering if we can speak to some one
> >who worked the Henry Templeton case,? Ayden said.
> >The woman stopped typing and a long silence followed. ?Who?s asking??
> >?I?m Ayden Templeton, Henry?s grandson.?
> >?One minute.? A chair creaked as the woman
> >stood. Her shoes clacked as she walked away.
> >Salma touched Ayden?s arm. ?She had a weird
> >look when you mentioned your grandpa?s name.?
> >Ayden said nothing, not sure what he was doing there in the first
place.
> >The woman?s shoes clacked once more as she
> >returned. Another footstep joined hers, but this person shuffled
slightly.
> >The person shuffled towards Salma, saying,
> >?Hello. I?m Sheriff Jenkins. How can I help you??
> >Ayden stepped closer towards Salma, extending
> >his arm to Sheriff Jenkins. ?I?m Ayden
> >Templeton and this is Salma Juarez. We have
> >some questions about my grandfather?s death.?
> >There was a pause before Sheriff Jenkins shook
> >Ayden?s hand. ?Step into my office please.?
> >Ayden followed the sheriff into a room off the
> >main section of the department. His cane swep
> >the inside of the door frame, indicating the
> >width so Ayden avoided bumping into the edges of
> >the frame. Ayden asked where a chair was and
> >turned in the direction Captain Jenkins
> >indicated. Once again, his cane found the chair
> >and sliding the cane across the seat, Ayden
> >determined where the front of the chair
> >was. Salma?s arm brushed his as she sat next to him.
> >?Can I get you anything?? Sheriff Jenkins asked.
> >?No, but thank you. Salma??
> >?I?m good,? Salma replied.
> >Ayden felt a tension fill the room as the three
> >sat there, not speaking. Sheriff Jenkins began
> >tapping the edge of the metal table in the
> >interrogation room. Ayden twisted his cane
> >between his fingers. Salma bobbed her foot
> >which was lightly kicking Ayden?s shin.
> >?We?re hoping to learn as much as we can about
> >Henry Templeton?s death. I?m researching the
> >story for a novel I?m working on,? Ayden started.
> >?I worked the case. There?s not much to tell,? Sheriff Jenkins said.
> >?I know you eventually reported it as an accidental death, but was
> >there ever any evidence suggesting otherwise?? Ayden asked.
> >?No. We questioned friends and family and there
> >was no reason to believe Henry Templeton was
> >murdered,? Sheriff Jenkins said sharply.
> >Ayden shifted his head towards Salma before
> >saying, ?I know there was-uh-speculation that maybe my grandmother
did it.?
> >?Lucy Baldwin? She never hurt anyone. We were
> >all shocked when she married Henry. She could have had anyone she
wanted.?
> >Ayden leaned against the table looking straight
> >in the direction where Sheriff Jenkins sat. ?I
> >thought Henry was a catch? You know, a lawyer from a wealthy family.?
> >?He was a playboy. Always was, never changed.? ?Who did you question
> >about his death?? Salma broke in. The sheriff?s chair creaked as he
> >leaned back. ?Well, of course Lucy and her boy
> >Nick. They were there. Found his body and all.?
> >Ayden shot the sheriff a questioning glance. He
> >was talking like he had forgot who Ayden was.
> >?Then there was Zelda, the housekeeper, and
> >Avery Mayer, he came around about once a week to
> >help Lucy with the lawn. She loved her
> >garden. Her roses won prizes around here,? Sheriff Jenkins continued.
> >?Anyone else?? Ayden asked.
> >?Oh, his work associates, but Henry was retired
> >so they didn?t see much of him anymore. Alice
> >Whitley, she had been his personal secretary for
> >years. She still did stuff part-time for Henry.?
> >Ayden had pulled out a three-by-five plastic
> >device that had six rows of cells containing
> >three holes on each side of the cells. A
> >pop-pop-pop sound was made as Ayden poked a
> >pointed awl-like object called a stylus through
> >the holes as he took Braille notes. ?Are any of these people still
around??
> >?Not everyone had the same opportunities as the
> >Templeton?s to leave town. Other than Henry?s
> >work associates, I think most of them still live
> >around here. At least the one?s who are still alive.?
> >?Is there anything else you can tell us? Was
> >there anything strange you noticed? Any
> >evidence that suggest something other than an
> >accidental tumble down the stairs??
> >The sheriff laughed. ?I know you city folk like
> >to dream up seedy happenings in small towns, but
> >Henry Templeton?s death was nothing more than an
> >accident. Nothing dark about it.?
> >?Thank you for your time,? Ayden said extending
> >his hand again to shake Sheriff Jenkins?s.
> >Sheriff Jenkins sighed. ?Look, don?t go digging
> >anything up. Just let the dead rest.?
> >Salma?s bracelet tinkled as they stood.
> >?We understand. I?m just trying to find things
> >out about my grandfather for the book. You
> >know, no stone uncovered,? Ayden said.
> >?Are you two married?? Sheriff Jenkins asked.
> >Ayden, confused by the switch, replied, ?No.?
> >The sheriff chuckled. ?Like your grandpa, I see.?
> >Ayden blushed, but Salma said, ?Ayden is nothing
> >but a gentleman. Clearly something he did not pick up in this town.?
> >?I know the kind of men the Templeton?s are,? the sheriff said.
> >Unsure of what to do, Ayden turned to leave. ?At least he has a
> >better chance of touching what you have been admiring this whole
> >time,? Salma snapped. She turned quickly and Ayden
> >felt a rush of breeze as she left the room.
> >
> >Out in the car, Ayden apologized.
> >?I?m sorry. I didn?t know what to say.?
> >?It?s okay. He was a pig.?
> >?I didn?t realize-?
> >?I know, its okay. Where to next??
> >Ayden could tell Salma was upset, but he left it alone. ?The house, I
> >guess.? As Salma pulled back out into the street devoid of traffic,
> >Ayden wondered why she had told Sheriff Jenkins what she had. Was it
> >simply said in a moment of anger, or was there any truth in her
> >words, he thought. He has a better chance of touching what you have
> >been admiring. For the first time, Ayden thought of the possibilities
> >with
Salma.
> >
> >
> >Ayden stood before the house remembering the
> >bright blue it had been during the few visits he
> >had made during his childhood. The house had
> >always stood out even among the street full of
> >bright, cheery houses complete with emerald
> >lawns and award winning gardens. The Templeton
> >house had a wrap-around porch with a veranda to
> >the back opening onto a large lawn complete with
> >a British garden. Its three stories reached majestically towards the
sky.
> >
> >
> >Ayden now gripped the rough, wooden railing of
> >the house. The feel of the railing did not
> >match his memory of the sleek, smooth dark
> >wooden banister. The stairs creaked as he
> >stepped on them. Reaching the porch, he felt a
> >slight dip and quickly stepped sideways in fear
> >of falling through the porch. Children played
> >nearby and cars languidly drove down the street,
> >but a strange silence surrounded the house. It
> >was as though Ayden were underneath water trying
> >to make out the distant sounds. The scent of
> >jasmine passed briefly through his nose as Salma stood next to him.
> >?How does it look?? Ayden asked ignoring the scent. Salma took a deep
> >breath. ?It?s run down, that?s for sure. I can?t believe no one has
> >lived here for years.? ?My family still owns it, but after my
> >grandfather?s death, no one wanted to do anything about it.?
> >Ayden placed his hand on the cold handle of the
> >dilapidated Victorian house. He dug in his
> >pockets for the rusty key he had found in his
> >father?s office. As he inserted the heavy key
> >in the lock, a quiet click was heard. Ayden
> >pushed the solid door open. He looked in
> >Salma?s direction before stepping
> >inside. Shutting the door, the house engulfed all sound like a tomb.
> >?Creepy,? Salma said as she shivered.
> >Ayden walked forward tapping his long white
> >cane, arcing wide so as to not run into
> >anything. Dust filled the air and Ayden coughed as he inhaled.
> >?This has been sitting for years,? Ayden rasped. ?What?s it look
like??
> >Salma looked around. ?It?s really dark, but
> >it?s almost completely empty. What do you think you?ll find?? ?I?m
> >not sure. Sheriff Jenkins wasn?t much help. I just thought, maybe
> >something?? Salma?s sandals clipped-clopped as she walked
> >over to a window to open it. ?Well, if we are
> >going to be here long we need fresh air.?
> >Ayden felt a rush of summer breeze as the window
> >clambered up. The sound of kids jumping rope
> >ruined the house?s stolid silence. Life entered
> >the house again as Ayden began to feel around searching for any clue.
> >Salma clumped up the stairs as Ayden moved from
> >room to room feeling walls and any remaining
> >furniture, hoping to find something,
> >anything. He rifled through drawers and
> >cupboards. So far his hands had only found dust and cobwebs.
> >?Ayden, Ayden!? Salma shouted a couple of hours later.
> >Ayden hurried towards the staircase. ?Salma! Are you okay??
> >?Get up here! I found something!?
> >Ayden clambered up the grand
> >staircase. Reaching the top, he shouted, ?What room??
> >?Um, it?s a bedroom.?
> >Hearing her voice off to his left, Ayden moved
> >down the hallway. At the end, he found a door open.
> >?Salma??
> >Salma?s clapping sandals moved towards Ayden.
> >?Look at this,? she said excitedly. Her
> >bracelet tinkled and paper crackled as she shoved something in
Ayden?s hand.
> >Ayden grinned. ?Um?? He handed the paper back to Salma. ?Oh-sorry. I
> >just-you won?t believe this.? It was another letter; a love letter to
> >Henry. Henry, My love,
> >I miss you. I grow restless with each day. I
> >have waited years to be with you, really be with
> >you. Let?s stop the pretending, stop the
> >lies. Don?t be mad with me. I would do
> >anything for you, but we must stop
> >hiding. There is no harm in this. I will wait
> >to hear from you, but don?t take long.
> >Love,
> >A. W.
> >Salma rushed through the letter almost in one
> >breath. Ayden was not quite sure what her excitement was for.
> >?We already know Henry was having an affair of sorts,? he said.
> >Salma sighed impatiently. ?Ayden, think about it. Don?t you see??
> >?Not really,? he said slowly.
> >She grabbed his wrist. Her slender fingers
> >gripped him with a strength Ayden would not have
> >guessed at. She moved in closer and once again,
> >Ayden took in the scent of jasmine. This time
> >he smelled something else with it. Vanilla, he
> >thought. Salma shook his arm slightly bringing him back to attention.
> >?Ayden, A. W. Don?t you see it yet??
> >?A. W.??
> >?The initials,? she said exasperated, ?A. W. Alice Whitley.?
> >?Who?s Alice Whitley??
> >Salma smacked her forehead. ?Ay-where are your notes from today??
> >Ayden pulled out the three-by-five note card from his back pocket.
> >?Now read through it,? Salma said as though talking to a small child.
> >Half way through his notes, Ayden stopped and looked sharply up at
Salma.
> >?See?? Salma asked.
> >?I can?t believe we didn?t realize it then. His
> >secretary. And Sheriff Jenkins said she?s still living in town.?
> >?Think we can find her?? ?Give me a minute,? Ayden said reaching for
> >his mobile phone tucked away in his pocket.
> >An electronic hum came from his phone as he
> >maneuvered through the menus on his phone. A
> >screen-reading program specific to mobile
> >phones, helped Ayden utilize the functions on his phone.
> >?Got it. There?s only one Alice Whitley that shows up in town.?
> >?Thank God for technology,? Salma said. ?No
> >wonder no one could ever solve this case.?
> >Ayden smirked at her. ?Thank God for accessible
> >technology. Come on. She doesn?t live far from here and it?s not too
late.?
> >
> >Ten minutes later, Ayden and Salma knocked on a
> >door. The house was less substantial than the
> >Templeton house, but Salma described its well-kempt lawn and cheery
exterior.
> >The door opened and a woman?s voice gasped, ?Oh.?
> >?Miss Whitley? I?m Ayden-?
> >?Templeton,? she said. ?You look like Henry.?
> >Smiling, Ayden said, ?Miss Whitley, this is my
> >friend Salma. We?re working on a book about my
> >grandfather, and we would like to ask you some questions.? ?Oh, of
> >course. Come in, come in.? As the door shut behind Ayden and Salma,
> >he smelled a flower scent that he couldn?t place
> >and a clock ticked nearby. Alice Whitley
> >ushered them into a sitting room off the
> >entryway. Salma sat next to Ayden on the soft
> >couch while Alice sat across from them.
> >?Can I offer you anything? I just made lemonade.?
> >?That would be wonderful,? Salma said.
> >As Alice left the room, Ayden turned towards
> >Salma. ?I?m sorry, I didn?t even think to ask if you were hungry.?
> >?Hon, it?s okay. I didn?t think about it myself until now.?
> >?We?ll have dinner after this; I promise.?
> >?Promise??
> >Ayden grinned as Alice returned. She placed an
> >ice-cold glass in Ayden?s hand. Ice chinked
> >against the side as he took a gulp. The cold
> >liquid felt good down his throat after the dust
> >of his family?s house. He could only imagine
> >how dirty he and Salma looked. He felt the
> >mingled grime of sweat and dirt on his
> >body. Why had it not occurred to them to stop
> >somewhere first and wash up, Ayden thought.
> >?So, what can I help you with? Henry was a dear
> >friend and I miss him. You must call me Alice.?
> >?Well, Alice, we specifically are interested in his death,? Ayden
said.
> >Alice choked on her lemonade. ?Why would you be interested in that??
> >?I believe that maybe his death wasn?t accidental.? ?Oh dear, don?t
> >buy into those silly rumors. Pete Jenkins conducted a thorough
> >investigation and no foul play was to be hinted at.?
> >?And yet the rumors persist,? Ayden said.
> >?Silly gossip. Housewives bored out of there minds.?
> >?You know Sheriff Jenkins?? Ayden asked.
> >?Darling, it?s a town of ten-thousand; everybody knows everybody.?
> >Ayden sipped on his lemonade as Salma clicked
> >her nails against the side of her glass.
> >?We have reason to believe maybe there is more
> >to the story,? Ayden said. He affected his best
> >courtroom demeanor. He had seen his father like this hundreds of
times.
> >Alice swirled ice chuncks around in her
> >glass. Her voice had lost some of its
> >cheeriness when she responded by asking, ?What makes you say that??
> >Ayden found the love letter in a folder. He removed the Braille
> >label, setting the letter on the coffee table dividing Ayden and
> >Salma from Alice. The room grew still. The letter rustled as
> >Alice picked it up. When she spoke, she sounded
> >choked as though she were holding back tears.
> >?Where did you find this??
> >?It was in some old boxes in the Templeton home,? Salma said.
> >A long silence followed in which Ayden could hear Alice sniffling.
> >?I suppose the truth has to come out sooner or later,? Alice said
quietly.
> >?We don?t need-a-details of anything, but is
> >there any reason to think Henry was killed?? Ayden soothed. ?Your
> >grandfather hired me when I was eighteen,? Alice began, ignoring
> >Ayden. ?I instantly fell in love with him, but he was that
> >type. Dashingly handsome, charming to a
> >fault. He was a few years older than me, but I
> >knew how all the girls waited for their chance
> >to rope Henry into marriage. I felt so lucky to
> >see him everyday. I started out as a simple
> >receptionist, but eventually he promoted me to his personal
secretary.?
> >?Did you move with my grandparents then, when they moved?? Ayden
asked.
> >Alice sighed. ?Yes, but after-things happened-I
> >moved back. I remained in his employ, working
> >from the office here in town. Before your
> >father took charge, Henry?s headquarters had always been based from
here.?
> >Ayden nodded his head.
> >?I never meant to hurt anyone. Things
> >happened. Henry loved us both, Lucy and I. I
> >tried to end it for years, but Henry always
> >showed up with that smile of his. Then I tried
> >to make him choose. I should?ve known better, but I was in love.?
> >Alice continued to spill her story, hoping for redemption perhaps.
> >?The final straw came right before his death. We had carried on for
> >almost forty-years and I knew it had to stop. We fought. I
> >threatened to tell Lucy and that was that. He
> >left me promising to choose. I waited for an
> >answer, but a week later, Henry was found dead.?
> >?Did you ever tell anyone?? Ayden asked.
> >?No.?
> >
> >Ayden and Salma stood by the car outside Alice?s
> >house. A breeze tousled Ayden?s hair and Salma
> >gently combed her fingers through his dark tresses.
> >?Seems like all you Templeton men are irresistible,? she said
teasingly.
> >Unsure of how to respond to her comment, he
> >grinned, but before he could make a remark,
> >Ayden heard her car door click open. He slid
> >into the passenger seat, heart pounding.
> >?You promised me dinner,? Salma whined playfully.
> >
> >After devouring diner-style hamburgers and
> >fries, Ayden and Salma found themselves walking
> >through the downtown area. Salma kept up with
> >Ayden?s stride as his cane tapped in a shoulder-length-arc.
> >?Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a small town,? Salma
mused.
> >?Really, you? Ms. Have-to-go-shopping-every-other-day,? Ayden joked.
> >?I could drive to the city. I don?t know. It seems like a nice place
> >to raise a family.? Ayden had never heard Salma speak about kids or
> >families. As well as he knew her, Ayden
> >realized there was plenty he still had to learn about Salma.
> >?Yes, we could raise happy little kids who will
> >grow up to cheat, lie and murder,? Ayden scoffed.
> >?We, huh??
> >Ayden blushed, feeling the heat creep up his
> >neck to his face. He hadn?t caught his
> >blunder. He sputtered, but before he could make
> >sense of his words, Salma grabbed his hand.
> >?Maybe we can live in the Templeton mansion,? she said.
> >They walked silently back to the car.
> >?It?s pretty late, what should we do?? Salma asked.
> >Ayden flipped the crystal face of his watch
> >up. Feeling the raised dots and arrows with his
> >pointer finger on his Braille watch, he said,
> >?It?s a quarter to eleven. I?m beat.?
> >?Me too. I don?t really feel like driving back tonight though.?
> >Ayden scratched his head. ?I guess we can stay at casa-de-Templeton.?
> >?Okay, but no funny business,? Salma joked.
> >Sitting in the car, Ayden said, ?By the way,
> >unlike some men in my family, I?m more of a one-woman type.?
> >
> >They stood on either side of the king-size bed in the master bedroom.
> >?Sure you don?t want to sleep in another room?? Ayden asked. ?Hell
> >no! This house is creepy.? ?I thought you wanted to raise children
> >here?? ?Shut-up. Scared to sleep with a girl?? The
> >bed creaked as Salma lay down on it. ?A bit musty.?
> >They had found spare bed linens in a box and had
> >attempted to shake them out as best they
> >could. Ayden had noticed a lingering wispy
> >scent of flowers that he could not place. It
> >may have been the remnants of something used to
> >launder the linens years ago, he had thought.
> >Without thinking, Ayden removed his shirt and
> >handed it to Salma. ?Here. You can wrap your pillow in it.?
> >?Thanks,? Salma said drawing the word out.
> >Realizing what he had just done, he blushed for
> >the millionth time that day. Not able to turn
> >back what he had done, Ayden lay slowly down, sticking close to the
edge.
> >?Keep your hands above the blankets,? Salma yawned.
> >
> >Ayden woke disoriented at first, but
> >comprehension quickly dawned as he felt Salma?s
> >small body nestled against his. She snored
> >quietly and Ayden smiled. This was nice, he
> >thought. He extracted himself gently from the bed, trying to not wake
Salma.
> >He needed to use the bathroom, but it struck him
> >that the bathrooms would not be in working
> >order. It was primitive, but it would have to
> >do, he thought as he found his way downstairs
> >and out into the back garden. Hoping no
> >neighbors were awake to see him, he relieved himself.
> >Half asleep still, his eyes snapped open as a
> >slight shuffle came from behind him. Finished
> >with his midnight chore, he listened intently,
> >but no sound came again. He turned around, gripping his cane in one
hand.
> >?Hello,? he said.
> >No response came. He turned back towards the
> >house and as he walked, Ayden felt his back
> >tingle. It was the sensation he felt as a child
> >when terrified, feeling a presence behind
> >him. He was an adult now, he chided
> >himself. Forcing himself to walk calmly back
> >into the house, he reached the French doors and
> >entered. As he went to shut the doors, a soft
> >shuffle started in the darkness again. It could
> >have been the long dead foliage rustling in the
> >breeze, but Ayden placed himself in the doorway
> >again. The noise instantly stopped.
> >Slamming the door and locking it, Ayden flew to
> >the stairs, taking three steps at a time. Heart
> >pounding, blood rushing in his ears, Ayden felt
> >a cool breeze cut through the stuffy air of the
> >bedroom. DeMint, he swore to himself. They had
> >opened windows before going to bed, hoping to
> >air out their lodgings for the night.
> >Salma still was sleeping peacefully on the
> >bed. He sat on the bed resting his head on the
> >large carved headboard, listening.
> >Crickets chirped outside and the breeze rustled
> >the leaves of trees from time to time. Salma
> >continued her snoring. Silence loomed around
> >the house. Ayden waited to hear the shuffle
> >noise again or a step on the stairs, but nothing
> >came. He relaxed after fifteen minutes of vigilante guarding. Laying
> >back down on the bed, one arm behind his head, he smiled when Salma
> >threw an arm across his chest. Thinking only of Salma by now, Ayden
> >drifted back off to
sleep.
> >
> >The second time Ayden woke he knew where he was,
> >but something was not right. Salma still snored
> >next to him as he spooned her, but an acrid odor
> >filled his nostrils. A loud crack made him bolt up in bed. ?Salma!
> >There?s a fire!? He shook her until she woke up. ?We need to get out
> >of here,? Ayden shouted as she slowly regained a conscience state.
> >Ayden flew to the open door. Smoke filled his
> >nose and made his eyes water. ?Salma, I can?t
> >tell if we can make it down the stairs.?
> >Standing next to him, she said, ?All I can see
> >is smoke. Can we jump out the window??
> >?We?re on the second floor. It?s pretty high up.?
> >Now across the room, Ayden heard Salma cry, ?Oh-my-god! Ayden!?
> >?What??
> >?I can see flames around the base of the house.?
> >?Shit.? Trying to think, Ayden gathered up the
> >sheet from the bed. Dousing it with water from
> >the couple bottles purchased last night, he
> >threw the sheet at Salma. ?Wrap yourself in this.?
> >?Why??
> >?Just do it.?
> >Making sure her long hair was covered, Ayden
> >threw Salma over his shoulder. Grabbing his
> >cane by the door, he moved into the
> >hallway. Hoping the shirt tied around his face
> >would keep out smoke, Ayden ran to the top of
> >the stairs. Despite the situation, Ayden could
> >not help notice the harlequin-romance-like predicament.
> >He heard Salma say something, but her face was
> >muffled and he could not understand
> >her. Tucking his cane underneath his arm, he
> >groped the banister which still seemed
> >intact. Finally reaching the bottom, he found
> >his way to the front door and opened it. A rush
> >of fresh air greeted him. Feeling heat, he
> >hoped he could make it off the porch. At the
> >top of the stairs, panicked, he placed Salma
> >upright again. She struggled to loosen the sheet around her.
> >?Are the flames here too?? Ayden asked.
> >?No, but there coming from behind.?
> >At the end of the drive, Ayden dialed 911 on his
> >phone. Neighbors could be heard coming from
> >their own houses. A few ran up to Ayden and Salma asking if they were
okay.
> >Standing at a distance, Ayden could hear the
> >roar of flames. Salma held his hand as they
> >waited in silence for the sound of sirens.
> >
> >Ayden rested on the back bumper of Sheriff
> >Jenkins?s police cruiser. The mid-morning sun
> >warmed his face. Still shirtless, a blanket
> >draped his shoulders. A gritty smudge crossed
> >his forehead and he could still smell the smoke embracing his body.
> >Once the firemen had extinguished the fire, Sheriff Jenkins and his
> >deputy, a man about Ayden?s age, drove Salma and Ayden to the police
> >station. Each gave a report before Nick was contacted.
> >Salma approached Ayden now offering a cup of
> >water. He gulped the cool liquid down as Salma
> >rested her head against his shoulder. Sniffing
> >her hair laced with a flower scent and smoke,
> >Ayden protectively placed an arm around her.
> >?Ayden,? Salma said in quiet surprise, ?Alice Whitley is here.?
> >Ayden pulled the blanket closed as he waited for
> >Alice to approach. A new scent filled his
> >nostrils. This too smelled of flowers, but it
> >was not the framiliar jasmine and vanilla Salma
> >wore. Through the fog of his brain, he tried to
> >place where he had smelled this scent before.
> >?I?m glad you two are alright,? Alice spoke
> >quietly. ?I can?t believe this. Do you need anything??
> >?Thank you, but we?re okay,? Salma said warmly.
> >?Pete phoned me this morning-?
> >?Sheriff Jenkins? Why?? Ayden asked.
> >Alice didn?t respond.
> >Waiting for an answer, Ayden finally recognized
> >the flower scent that had lingered in the closet
> >where he and Salma had found bed linens.
> >?Alice, did you visit the house after we left you yesterday??
> >Alice made a noise as though she were
> >suppressing it in her throat. She never
> >answered and before Ayden could ask anything
> >else, he heard her muffled footsteps on the grass as she walked
briskly away.
> >?Ayden?? Salma puzzled.
> >?Her perfume, it?s the same smell I noticed in the closet last
night.?
> >?Ayden, that?s where I found the letter too,? Salma whispered.? Ayden
> >heard the swish of grass as someone else walked towards them. It was
> >Nick. ?Are you crazy?? Nick asked, bewildered.
> >?I?m fine. Nice to see you too, Dad.?
> >Nick let out a long breath before saying, ?Your
> >mother and I went crazy when we heard what happened. We?re glad
you?re okay.?
> >?Is the house ruined?? Ayden asked.
> >Salma shifted and sat upright next to Ayden.
> >?It?s mostly the garden that was ruined, but there is damage to the
house.?
> >Ayden felt his chest tighten. The garden had
> >been Lucy?s favorite place. Ayden remembered
> >playing among the walk-ways and tall bushes as
> >Lucy tended to her beloved
> >flowers. Interrupting his thoughts, Ayden heard
> >a shuffling footstep approach. Another memory
> >pushed itself front and center in his mind. As
> >Sheriff Jenkins stopped his pace, Ayden gave him a hard look. ?Tom
> >says it will take a few weeks to get reports back, but there is some
> >structural damage to the house, Nick,? the sheriff said.
> >?Taken any midnight strolls to clear your mind
> >lately?? Ayden directed to Sheriff Jenkins.
> >No one spoke. Salma gripped his hand.
> >?Any reason why you?d call Alice Whitley early this morning?? Ayden
continued.
> >?Drop it,? Nick hissed at Ayden.
> >Thrown off by Nick?s tone, Ayden squeezed Salma?s hand, unsure what
to do.
> >?I?m sure we?re all tired and need to collect
> >our thoughts,? Sheriff Jenkins said. ?Maybe you
> >ought to take these two home, Nick.? Ayden
> >heard the lumbering shuffle again as Sheriff Jenkins walked away.
> >
> >
> >Ayden sat in front of the computer. A buzz
> >issued from the speakers as JAWS, a
> >text-to-speech program, sounded off with each command Ayden typed.
> >?Still working?? Salma asked from behind. Ayden leaned his head back
> >against her stomach. She was wrapped in a large soft
> >towel. He slipped his hand through the folds,
> >but she turned swiftly away, laughing.
> >Spewing a torrent of Spanish at him, Ayden
> >chuckled. ?That just turns me on more.?
> >?I called you a great big moron whose brain is the size of his-?
> >?Doesn?t matter. Still sounds sexy.?
> >Salma whipped another towel at him before
> >scampering to the bedroom. Turning back to his
> >work, Ayden decided to check his email.
> >As he clicked on the necessary links using
> >Hotkey commands, he thought over the past few weeks.
> >Ayden had told his father what happened, but
> >Nick said that everything was
> >circumstantial. Ayden knew this, but he also
> >knew he had opened something up. Something that
> >had been meant to remain secret. Nick refused
> >to open any investigation and he remained tight-lipped about anything
he knew.
> >The fire was officially reported as an unknown
> >accident since no evidence, either way, had been
> >found determining a cause. This, at least, was
> >how the police report read. Ayden, though, had
> >inquired into the fire-chief?s report. It too
> >was inconclusive, but this report did mention
> >that a match book had been found near the
> >premises. Salma had advised Ayden to wait
> >before attempting any further investigation.
> >Salma had been the reason he was able to let the
> >weeks slip by without searching for more
> >clues. Once they had returned to the city,
> >Ayden had found the courage to express his budding feelings towards
Salma.
> >They had sat on the couch talking; a typical
> >Friday night for them, except this time Ayden
> >could feel a growing anticipation between
> >them. Salma had stood to get another beer from
> >the kitchen when Ayden reached for her
> >wrist. His large palm had felt bigger next to
> >her slim wrist. Both had stared silently at one
> >another. Ayden, thinking he would win this game
> >since he couldn?t see, broke first. Grinning
> >with a smirk, he had pulled Salma to him and kissed her. Three weeks
> >later, their routine was continued as normal, yet something was
> >different. They had transitioned into this new element with
> >ease, as though it were meant to be. Their
> >friendship was strengthened by the new romance.
> >Still reminiscing, Ayden did not recognize the
> >name given for the first email he came
> >across. Opening it up, he read the following:
> >Your journey has just begun, but it is advisable
> >that you stop your investigation
> >immediately. Heartache and harm can only befall
> >you. Thank your luck and live long and well with your beautiful new
love.
> >There was no signature. Alarmed, Ayden checked
> >the From field, but the only information this
> >provided was
> >aconcernedfriend at gmail.com. Ayden?s pulse
> >quickened. Hearing Salma pad lightly back into
> >the room, he closed the window he was in. He
> >thought it was best to not alarm her just yet.
> >Holding Salma close against him, wrapping her in
> >a bear hug, Ayden knew this was just the beginning.
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflow
er.com
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 09:35:49 -0400
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'newmanrl at cox.net'" <newmanrl at cox.net>, 'Writer's Division
> Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor"
> Message-ID:
>
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D926BAA at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Cool article. It makes me want to go and brush up my Braille skills.
>
> Shawn
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
> Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 10:27 PM
> To: writers nfb
> Subject: [stylist] Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor"
>
> Hey you all! It is always great to be able to celebrate a division
members'
> accomplishment in getting published. When I find out and/or if any of
you
> find out a fellow member's success in getting published, let us post a
> notice or, even the published piece in STYLIST. So, here is a
published
> piece by Bob Gardner, which appeared in the pages of the October issue
of
> "The Braille Monitor."
>
>
>
> Braille Monitor October 2010
>
> (back) (contents) (next)
>
>
>
> We Are Able!
>
> by Robert Gardner
>
>
>
> >From the Editor: Our Braille Readers Are Leaders Contest was expanded
last
> year to include a category for adults. People wanting to improve their
> skills were encouraged to form teams to support and encourage one
another.
> In this account we share our surprise in winning, the bonds formed by
> reading aloud to each other, and the joy and accomplishment of one
team and
> the individuals in it.
>
>
>
> "Here's a package for you," my wife said, handing me a box large
enough for
> a new pair of shoes. "It's from the NFB National Center. Did you order
> something?"
>
>
>
> "No," I said, mystified. After cutting through the packing tape and
fumbling
> through the packing peanuts, I pulled out...what?
>
>
>
> My wife took a peek. "It's a plaque," she said. "Wow, you're Team of
the
> Year."
>
>
>
> I stood there, stunned. Our team had won the 2009-2010 adult Braille
Readers
> Are Leaders Team of the Year Award. This had been the first year for
the
> adult contest, and we were the winners. I could hardly believe it.
>
>
>
> The ABLE Group was formed in the fall of 2008 from within the
Blackhawk
> Chapter of the NFB of Illinois. ABLE stands for Access to Braille
Literacy
> for Everyone. Our goal was to increase our Braille skills by getting
> together weekly and reading aloud to each other. We'd usually have
four or
> five people involved, and all of us were in the Beginner category,
meaning
> all of us had plenty of opportunity to improve.
>
>
>
> Group member Lois Montgomery told me, "Meeting with the ABLE Group
every
> week and encouraging each other to improve our reading and writing
skills
> has definitely reaped benefits for all involved. Though I'm not a
speedy
> reader and will probably never be one, I focus on the fact that I am
> literate. I think back to the time when I couldn't see print and
didn't know
> Braille. This motivates me to advocate for Braille literacy."
>
>
>
> In the fall of 2009 our group read about the new adult category in the
NFB
> Braille Readers Are Leaders competition and the fact that we could
form a
> team. When quizzed, the members of the ABLE Group unanimously wanted
to
> enter the contest--and we became the ABLE Team. We charged forward
with five
> people joining the team. Enthusiasm was high. We continued to meet
face to
> face each week and kept in touch by phone and email. Articles sent out
by
> those coordinating the Braille Readers Are Leaders contest were passed
> around electronically. We even turned one of our weekly meetings into
a
> travel exercise by riding the bus to a local restaurant and having an
ABLE
> Team Christmas party.
>
>
>
> Jean Rauschenbach's story is unique but has some elements that are
universal
> amongst the group. She said, "I attended BLIND, Inc., learning the
skills to
> become a successful blind person. They changed my life and improved my
> self-esteem. Because of learning these skills, especially Braille, I
had the
> courage to go back to school at the age of fifty. I am literate again!
I
> take notes on a Braille notetaker and can read out loud what I have
> written-if haltingly. It is so great to be able to have notes to go by
when
> giving presentations in classes. My speed is still slow, but I know
that it
> will improve as I read Braille more and more."
>
>
>
> Jean continued, "Being on the ABLE Team was a challenge during the
school
> year, but I decided to concentrate my time on reading a book for
school. I
> spent a good deal of time on reading, but it paid off by increasing my
> reading speed. Sometimes we need the challenge of pressure to make us
do
> what we might put off to another time."
>
>
>
> At the start of the contest each of us had goals, but soon we noticed
that
> the competition had spurred us all to exceed them. When Lois
Montgomery
> began to pile up pages read, she was encouraged to enter the
individual
> reading award competition. As the Leader Board was posted in the
latter
> stages of the competition, we found Lois on top. And wow, what a
fantastic
> ending to the competition! Lois took number one in the beginner
category.
> She read around three thousand pages during the two months of the
contest.
>
>
>
> Team member Patrick Olson said, "Braille provides a way for me to
enjoy a
> book or document without straining my eyes with large print. Reading
Braille
> gives me much more satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment than an
audio
> book provides." As a side note, Patrick and team member Jana Hergert
had let
> their Braille skills slide before joining the ABLE Group. With a year
of
> work on the team, both of them cemented their understanding of the
> contractions and probably doubled their reading speeds.
>
>
>
> Last spring I was shocked when I first held the plaque signifying that
the
> ABLE Group had won Team of the Year. Here we were, in our little
corner of
> Illinois, and we had been selected out of all the teams across the
entire
> country. I immediately grabbed the phone and relayed the news to team
> members. I then had to contact several people at BLIND, Inc., where I
> learned Braille. One of my greatest pleasures was a personal phone
call to
> my Braille instructor, Melody Wartenbee, to thank her for all her
patience
> and perseverance.
>
>
>
> The Braille Readers Are Leaders adult contest brought the ABLE Team
closer
> together and increased our dedication to improving our Braille skills.
The
> contest pushed us all to write more, read more, and increase our
commitment
> to Braille literacy. The ABLE Team will continue to meet, inspired to
reach
> new levels by the Braille Readers Are Leaders Contest.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Robert Leslie Newman
>
> President- NFB Writers' Division
>
> Division Website
>
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org>
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>
> Personal Website-
>
> <http://www.thoughtprovoker.info> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/shawn.d.jacobso
n%40hud.gov
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 5
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 09:36:23 -0400
> From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
> To: "Human Services List" <humanser at nfbnet.org>, <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Lighting the Night for the Blind
> Message-ID: <00b301cb6ba4$d34898f0$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>
> Please help spread the word by distributing this information as widely
as appropriate!
>
>
> Helpful information is attached to the original message. If you did
not receive these attachments, please send a message to
>
>
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> Other resources are provided following this release.
>
>
>
> FOR IMMEDIATE USE
>
>
>
> From: National Association of Guide Dog Users
>
>
>
> Date: October 14, 2010
>
>
>
> Contact: Marion Gwizdala, President
>
> 813-598-7161
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> Lighting the Night FOR the Blind
>
>
>
> Rising thirty-seven storeys above downtown Tampa near the mouth of the
Hillsborough River lies a landmark that captures the attention and
imagination of anyone who views the evening skyline of the second
largest metropolitan area in the state of Florida . It's not because of
its height that it is so recognizable, as it stands far shorter than a
competitor's building. But rising another 87 feet above the
thirty-seventh floor is a four-sided pyramid - a ziggurat, to be precise
- and they light it up at night! It is said the lights can be seen up to
ten miles away! At least they are seen by the thousands of motorists
traveling one of the three major highways that pass through Tampa and
the building's lights are featured on nautical maps of Tampa Bay.
>
> From October 15 - 17, the Sun Trust Financial Center will light its
rooftop with the colors of the National Federation of the Blind (NFB) to
commemorate Meet the Blind Month and recognize National White Cane
Safety Day. The four colors of the Federation logo - purple, red, blue,
& gold - will chase around the ziggurat at one second intervals as a
symbol of the National Federation of the Blind and then display a four
second white light for National White Cane Safety Day.
>
>
>
> "The lighting of the building also coincides with the launch of a
valuable new service for guide dog users," explains Marion Gwizdala, a
Tampa resident who serves as president of the National Association of
Guide Dog Users (NAGDU). The NAGDU Education & Advocacy Hotline will go
on-line over the weekend. Though mostly under construction at this time,
the hotline will eventually provide pre-recorded messages on a variety
of issues related to guide dog use, including information about the
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibition of discrimination
against service animal users, summaries and texts of state statutes, and
how these laws relate to specific industries, such as restaurants,
hotels, taxicabs, and airlines. Callers will also have the ability to
speak with a live trained advocate if more specific or immediate
guidance is needed. The NAGDU Education & Advocacy Hotline can be
accessed 24/7 by calling 866-972-DOGS (3647).
>
>
>
> NFB's "Meet the Blind Month" is an annual event of the National
Federation of the Blind. The primary focus in 2010 is to shatter common
misconceptions about blindness, show how far the blind have come due to
the efforts of the NFB, and focus attention on the work that needs to be
done for the blind to obtain full integration into society on the basis
of equality. The Federation also provides interesting, upbeat
presentations about blindness and guide dogs and their use for civic
organizations, business associations, churches, and schools.
>
>
>
> National White Cane Safety Day (October 15) is a presidentially
proclaimed observance to raise public awareness of the traffic laws that
assist blind pedestrians. In all states, whenever a blind person is
crossing a street or driveway carrying a white cane or accompanied by a
guide dog, all traffic must stop until the blind person has safely
crossed. Violation of Florida's "White Cane Law" is a moving violation
that carries three (3) points on the driver license, fines, and can
result in higher insurance rates. Stop for blind pedestrians - It's the
law!
>
>
>
> For more information about the National Association of Guide Dog Users
or the National Federation of the Blind, go to
>
>
>
> HTTP://NAGDU.ORG
>
> HTTP://NFB.ORG
>
>
>
> Or call 813-626-2789
>
>
>
> # # #
>
>
>
>
>
> Informational References
>
>
>
> National Association of Guide Dog Users (NAGDU)
>
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind (NFB)
>
> Marion Gwizdala, President
>
> 813-626-2789
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
> HTTP://NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> National Federation of the Blind (NFB)
>
> Marc Maurer, President
>
> Chris Danielson, Director of Public Relations
>
> 410-659-9314
>
> HTTP://NFB.ORG
>
>
>
> Blind Driver Challenge
>
> HTTP://BlindDriverChallenge.org
>
>
>
> Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)
>
> United States Department of Justice
>
> 800-514-0301
>
> HTTP://ADA.GOV
>
>
>
> Floridians with Disabilities Act Attached)
>
> 413.08 f.s.
>
>
>
> Florida White Cane Law (Attached)
>
> 316.1301
>
>
>
>
> -------------- next part --------------
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>
> ------------------------------
>
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>
>
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 21
> ***************************************
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:25:07 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <SNT136-w47BD3C74EE62F9F48E2C70C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness
and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical
professionals so I will be blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:27:12 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] please support my blog
Message-ID: <SNT136-w527A17294C08716D7ACA09C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Okay, it would be helpful to let you know that the website is
livewellnebraska.com! *smile* Also check out the Facebook and Twitter
pages.
Bridgit
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:37:58 -0500
From: BDM <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <6.2.3.4.2.20101014143724.02ac32b0 at www.braddunsemusic.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
Congratulations Bridgit!
Brad
At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>Dear List,
>
>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
experiences.
>
>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>
>Bridgit Pollpeter
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddu
nsemusic.com
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
Brad Dunse
If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
get them in the boat with you
E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 15:56:11 -0400
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <000001cb6bd9$e8bc2230$ba346690$@net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:21:49 -0400
From: "cheryl echevarria" <cherylandmaxx at hotmail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] please support my blog
Message-ID: <BAY110-DS21858EE88BE81E220C14CDA1560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
mine is
http://echevarriatravel.wordpress.com/<http://echevarriatravel.wordpress
.com/>
And it is not only about travel, I put other information pertaining to
NFB things as well.
I will support you as well.
The biggest compliment you can pay me is to recommend my services!
Cheryl Echevarria
http://Echevarriatravel.com<http://echevarriatravel.com/>
1-866-580-5574
Reservations at echevarriatravel.com<mailto:Reservations at echevarriatravel.c
om>
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Montrose Travel
CST-1018299-10
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Absolute Cruise and Travel
Inc.
join my yahoogroup
echevarriatravel-subscribe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:echevarriatravel-subsc
ribe at yahoogroups.com>
----- Original Message -----
From: Bridgit Pollpeter<mailto:bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:27 PM
Subject: [stylist] please support my blog
Okay, it would be helpful to let you know that the website is
livewellnebraska.com! *smile* Also check out the Facebook and Twitter
pages.
Bridgit
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/
>
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/<http://www.nfb-writers-division.or
g/>>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://www.nfb
net.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/cherylandmaxx%4
0hotmail.com<http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ch
erylandmaxx%40hotmail.com>
------------------------------
Message: 7
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:41:51 EDT
From: KajunCutie926 at aol.com
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <81eb.145f80e.39e8c50f at aol.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Very cool Bridgit... congratulations!!
In a message dated 10/14/2010 3:00:07 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
lists at braddunsemusic.com writes:
Congratulations Bridgit!
Brad
At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>Dear List,
>
>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
experiences.
>
>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>
>Bridgit Pollpeter
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddu
nsem
usic.com
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
Brad Dunse
If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
get them in the boat with you
E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/kajuncutie926%4
0aol
.com
------------------------------
Message: 8
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:44:56 -0400
From: "Anita Adkins" <aadkins7 at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <607842FF7737423E8525941FD36F439A at AnitaAdkinsPC>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hello,
I went to the website, but I did not find a place where I could
subscribe to
the blog. I am assuming this is because the date hasn't approached yet.
Right? Or, am I missing something? Thanks. Anita
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:25 PM
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
>
> Dear List,
>
> I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write
a
> blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
> website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness
and
> diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical
professionals
> so I will be blogging about my personal experiences.
>
> The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
> Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my
individual
> blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile*
I
> would appreciate everyone's support.
>
> Bridgit Pollpeter
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/aadkins7%40veri
zon.net
------------------------------
Message: 9
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:14:46 -0400
From: "cheryl echevarria" <cherylandmaxx at hotmail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <BAY110-DS229B7A9D6295DD5A6E2173A1560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Welcome Bill.
The biggest compliment you can pay me is to recommend my services!
Cheryl Echevarria
http://Echevarriatravel.com<http://echevarriatravel.com/>
1-866-580-5574
Reservations at echevarriatravel.com<mailto:Reservations at echevarriatravel.c
om>
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Montrose Travel
CST-1018299-10
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Absolute Cruise and Travel
Inc.
join my yahoogroup
echevarriatravel-subscribe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:echevarriatravel-subsc
ribe at yahoogroups.com>
----- Original Message -----
From: Bill Outman<mailto:woutman at earthlink.net>
To: stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:56 PM
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention
in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/
>
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/<http://www.nfb-writers-division.or
g/>>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://www.nfb
net.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/cherylandmaxx%4
0hotmail.com<http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ch
erylandmaxx%40hotmail.com>
------------------------------
Message: 10
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:57:02 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <B2436D12A3A04E07BCD4390561F2E944 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Congrats! Please send the address to the list once you have it. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: <KajunCutie926 at aol.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 4:41 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
> Very cool Bridgit... congratulations!!
>
>
> In a message dated 10/14/2010 3:00:07 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
> lists at braddunsemusic.com writes:
>
> Congratulations Bridgit!
>
> Brad
>
> At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>
>>Dear List,
>>
>>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
> experiences.
>>
>>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>>
>>Bridgit Pollpeter
>>_______________________________________________
>>Writers Division web site:
>>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>><http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>>stylist mailing list
>>stylist at nfbnet.org
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40bradd
unsem
> usic.com
>>
>>
>>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>>
>>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>>
>>http://www.eset.com
>
>
> Brad Dunse
>
> If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
> get them in the boat with you
>
> E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
>
> Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
>
> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
>
> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
>
> MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/kajuncutie926%4
0aol
> .com
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 11
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:51:25 -0500
From: Hina <haltaf at carrollu.edu>
To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] need help
Message-ID: <53BBA17D48634CA1B3DC400CE7FDA985 at DB8D43F1>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
hi,
how can i check formatting such as paragraphing, spacing in the
document, colors, font and if something is bold highlighted and things
like that with jaws using microsoft word 2010?
your help is much appreciated.
hina
------------------------------
Message: 12
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:36:01 -0500
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <013c01cb6bf8$8fac8260$af058720$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Yeah, where and/or when can we sign up! (the 25th? We have to wait so
long?!) Congrads!
(What again, is the definition of BLOG?)
No, I'm not being a clown, like --- in this case, B could stand for
Bridget's and L could stand for license and O could stand for on and G
could stand for greatness!
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:25 PM
To: writers division
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website
that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness and
diabetes.
I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical professionals so I will
be
blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
------------------------------
Message: 13
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:33:10 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] need help
Message-ID: <2621806A51C94247A0FF942C77563B8E at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hina, I'm going to start from the beginning. Lets say you have a
manuscript, letter or something else that you wrote. When you write I
would
assume you have paragraph breaks in your document that are put in as you
write. You should have all indentations equal. Try this to get your
paragraphing equal:
1. Select the text you need to insert equal indentations in.
2. Hit the alt key. Hit the letter O for formatting. Hit the P key
for
paragraphing.
3. Tab across until you hear "Special".
4. Arrow down to first line.
5. Continue tabbing until you hear , "By..". Arrow up or down until
you
hear 0.5 inches.
6. Continue tabbing and if you want to make other changes such as line
spacing you can do that also. Tab until you hear, "OK". Get out of
formatting with alt f4. Your paragraphing is now set.
To hear about the codes in your documents hit insert (at the bottom of
the
numb pad) and the letter F. You will get an earful about the formatting
in
your document. Hope this helps, Judith
To find out how much your paragraph is indented go to the beginning of
the
paragraph. Simultaneously hit the keys alt and delete. You will hear
how
much your paragraph is indented. If you want to skip through paragraphs
just hit control down arrow.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Hina" <haltaf at carrollu.edu>
To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:51 PM
Subject: [stylist] need help
> hi,
> how can i check formatting such as paragraphing, spacing in the
document,
> colors, font and if something is bold highlighted and things like that
> with jaws using microsoft word 2010?
> your help is much appreciated.
> hina
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 14
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:37:17 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <E77B2B9D875740D39D112505EB4B6B56 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase "Totally
spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I should
be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had
said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished
in the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are
left by her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday. Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this
meeting. A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the
driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the house.
Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
------------------------------
Message: 15
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:29:39 -0400
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <004601cb6c08$6fe5f230$4fb1d690$@williams2 at gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a little
confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love to
read
more.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
To: Stylist
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase "Totally
spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I should
be
using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive away.
But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
at
the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
gmail.com
------------------------------
Message: 16
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:55:09 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <1C715C8C692A4E099FF80DDE3C84BB29 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
about
the word spooked? Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
> read
> more.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
> be
> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted
> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
> holocaust.
> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
to
> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
> But
> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
> at
> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
> gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 17
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:03:31 -0700
From: "Angela Fowler" <fowlers at syix.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <0E796AAB52B3496C94E495769652D408 at AngelaPC>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hmmm, it does seem out of place with the rest of your writing, but is
appropriate to the situation.
If we could think of something which means the same but is not so
slangish...
"Gripped with apprehension at this strange and eerie visit?"
That's not right either, but something along those lines.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:55 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
about
the word spooked? Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
> little confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would
> love to read more.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate
> that I should be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks,
> Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
> had said, "Mrs.
> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
> holocaust.
> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
> to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
> parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good
> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
watch him drive away.
> But
> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
> away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
> looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her
> dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.willia
> ms2%40
> gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40opton
> line.net
>
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
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com
------------------------------
Message: 18
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:15:31 -0500
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <SNT139-ds12689A6C8F5467A73D00CBEB570 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=original
I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
more wondering.
Barbara
...
Yesterday is
A path well-trod,
A familiar lane
Through sacred sod,
A road we travel
Too often, I fear,
For there are the good times
When things are hard here,
...
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished
in
> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good
day
> to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window to
watch
> him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street. There
was
> no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her
> bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it with other
> papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>
------------------------------
Message: 19
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:03:38 -0400
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <008601cb6c50$3d7878c0$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Bill,
welcome to this list! It's good to have another Floridian by my
side!
(smile)
Fraternally yours,
Marion Gwizdala
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:56 PM
Subject: [stylist] New list member
> Good day to all.
>
>
>
> I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
>
>
>
> I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
> project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
> the technical craft and business side of writing.
>
>
>
> I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention
in
> Orlando.
>
>
>
> William H. "Bill" Outman
>
> Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
>
> National Federation of the Blind
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
------------------------------
Message: 20
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:09:04 -0400
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <012a01cb6c50$ff9ace30$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Judith,
Check out
HTTP://WWW.THESAURUS.COM
for some suggestions that may fit better! I love this resource; it is
always
open when I am writing!
Fraternally yours,
Marion Gwizdala
----- Original Message -----
From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:55 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
> about the word spooked? Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
>> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
>> read
>> more.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
>> Behalf Of Judith Bron
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>> To: Stylist
>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be
>> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted
>> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
>> "Mrs.
>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>> holocaust.
>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
to
>> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents.
>> It
>> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
>> tell
>> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you."
The
>> man
>> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
>> But
>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
>> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
>> at
>> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
>> gmail.com
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
------------------------------
Message: 21
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:30:52 -0500
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <003f01cb6c5c$6c7eee40$457ccac0$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Bill,
Greetings from the Writers' Division! Consider sharing a passage or two
from
your book! Or, hey --- just tell us something about it, about what you
like
to write.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bill Outman
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:56 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
------------------------------
Message: 22
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:48:03 -0400
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: "'newmanrl at cox.net'" <newmanrl at cox.net>, 'Writer's Division
Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID:
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D9271A6 at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Or "L" could stand for lessons.
Shawn
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:36 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Yeah, where and/or when can we sign up! (the 25th? We have to wait so
long?!) Congrads!
(What again, is the definition of BLOG?)
No, I'm not being a clown, like --- in this case, B could stand for
Bridget's and L could stand for license and O could stand for on and G
could stand for greatness!
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:25 PM
To: writers division
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website
that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness and
diabetes.
I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical professionals so I will
be
blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
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To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
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n%40hud.gov
------------------------------
Message: 23
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:46:59 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: fowlers at syix.com, Writer's Division Mailing List
<stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <BEF870AA8FF447CDAF83BB1C4C1736D9 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Thanks, Angela. "Gripped with apprehension is worth consideration.
Thanks,
Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Angela Fowler" <fowlers at syix.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:03 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hmmm, it does seem out of place with the rest of your writing, but is
> appropriate to the situation.
> If we could think of something which means the same but is not so
> slangish...
> "Gripped with apprehension at this strange and eerie visit?"
> That's not right either, but something along those lines.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:55 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
> about
> the word spooked? Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
>> little confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I
would
>> love to read more.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Judith Bron
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>> To: Stylist
>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
>> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate
>> that I should be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks,
>> Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
>> had said, "Mrs.
>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>> holocaust.
>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
>> to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
>> parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
> watch him drive away.
>> But
>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
>> away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
>> looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her
>> dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.willia
>> ms2%40
>> gmail.com
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40opton
>> line.net
>>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
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> stylist:
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>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
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------------------------------
Message: 24
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:47:30 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <B14322AE6FBD4B379AB590CDCCFCBF8E at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Thanks, Barbara. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:15 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
>me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
>more wondering.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
> To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
>> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
perished in
>> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
>> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
>> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
>> watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street.
>> There was no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she
ran
>> to her bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it
with
>> other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
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ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 25
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:52:28 -0400
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID:
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D927203 at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Or you could try "confounded by wonderment" if you wanted to be a little
more flowery.
Shawn
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:48 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Thanks, Barbara. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:15 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
>me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
>more wondering.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
> To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
>> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
perished in
>> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
>> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
>> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
>> watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street.
>> There was no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she
ran
>> to her bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it
with
>> other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
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ne.net
>
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
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n%40hud.gov
------------------------------
Message: 26
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:11:53 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>, Writer's
Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <031B7683FE2541D9A0FBAF4395FD65C2 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Thanks Marion. Since I'm working on Jaws 7.1, an older version, it now
takes me a very long time to link to the Thesaurus. I just did it. How
does, "She felt her blood run cold." sound? Thanks, Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 6:09 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Judith,
> Check out
>
> HTTP://WWW.THESAURUS.COM
>
> for some suggestions that may fit better! I love this resource; it is
> always open when I am writing!
>
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
>> about the word spooked? Judith
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>>
>>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
>>> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
>>> read
>>> more.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
>>> Behalf Of Judith Bron
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>>> To: Stylist
>>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>>
>>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>>> be
>>> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>>
>>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>>> inserted
>>> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
>>> "Mrs.
>>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>>> holocaust.
>>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to
me to
>>> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents.
>>> It
>>> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please
don't
>>> tell
>>> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you."
The
>>> man
>>> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
>>> But
>>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
>>> away
>>> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
>>> at
>>> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site:
>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>> stylist mailing list
>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> stylist:
>>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
>>> gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site:
>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>> stylist mailing list
>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> stylist:
>>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
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>
------------------------------
Message: 27
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:37:06 -0400
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <190FCB2F78A341CF8F7FCC24EC6611A0 at Rufus>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hi Judith,
Your sentence reads:
Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet
and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
Option 1:
She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
Option 2:
Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little packet
and
placed it with other papers in her dresser.
The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the character runs
to
her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such descriptive word
means
she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people aren't likely to
dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
little
disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I would spend
more
time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
looked,
something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the visitor as
the
character.
I hope that helps.
Best,
Joe
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
To: Stylist
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
o%40gmail.com
------------------------------
Message: 28
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:06:42 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: jsorozco at gmail.com, Writer's Division Mailing List
<stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <34922C3CB6A84735ABA2957CF0130551 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hi Joe, Appalled means angry. Why should she be angry? It was a normal
day
when the stranger knocked or rang the bell. Here is what I came up
with.
I'm interested in your reaction.
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive away.
But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
from the house. She felt her blood run cold. She ran to her bedroom
without looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in
her
dresser.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 9:37 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hi Judith,
>
> Your sentence reads:
>
> Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
> packet
> and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 1:
>
> She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the
little
> packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 2:
>
> Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little packet
and
> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the character
runs to
> her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such descriptive word
> means
> she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people aren't likely
to
> dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
> little
> disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I would spend
> more
> time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
> visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
> looked,
> something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the visitor as
the
> character.
>
> I hope that helps.
>
> Best,
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
> appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
> appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
> an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
> man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
> family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
> containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
> to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
> It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
> A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
> front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
> the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
> house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
> at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
> o%40gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 29
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:23:26 -0400
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <A313E65D1DDA48FAB8B6307C6377B4E9 at Rufus>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hmmm, we might be in disagreement about the use of "appall" in the
context
of your passage. The reason I offered it as a suggestion is owed to
these
definitions:
1. dismay: fill with apprehension or alarm; cause to be unpleasantly
surprised; "I was horrified at the thought of being late for my
interview";
"The news
of the executions horrified us"
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
2. To depress or discourage with fear; to impress with fear in such a
manner
that the mind shrinks, or loses its firmness; to overcome with sudden
terror
or horror; to dismay; as, the sight appalled the stoutest heart
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/appall
Regardless, I still find the passage very chased. First, we don't know
when
and where the man approached her until we learn later in the text that
it
was in fact at her house. If you're going to spend so much time
describing
her reaction to the incident, you may as well invest a little time
setting
us up for why the reaction is laid out the way it is. Second, and this
might be explained by the text surrounding your excerpt, but the mere
delivery of a package that in of itself did not pose a threat, does not
seem
to warrant her blood running cold. It seems a bit exaggerated. If
you're
suggesting that her fear was brought on by the possibility that she
might
think the man was a ghost, given the sudden disappearance, I would bring
that out a little better. Finally, draw a direct link between her
feeling
and her reaction. If she is afraid of what the letter might contain,
the
first priority should be the hiding of the package, not the peering out
the
window. If her first concern is the appearance, or disappearance of the
man, she should linger a little more at the window, not rush about in
what
comes off as a frantic dash.
Again, it is a little difficult to genuinely assess the passage without
proper context of where the scene fits in the rest of the chapter or
story.
That said, the scene alone feels as though something you might view
while
fast forwarding a video. The overall language is great. My
recommendation
is that you slow down a little and give what appears to be an important
scene the proper stage it deserves.
I am not very amused when people rewrite my work for me, but I can offer
an
alternative version off-list if it would explain what I'm talking about.
It's great writing, and I'm glad you shared it.
Best,
Joe
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
-----Original Message-----
From: Judith Bron [mailto:jbron at optonline.net]
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 11:07 AM
To: jsorozco at gmail.com; Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Hi Joe, Appalled means angry. Why should she be angry? It was
a normal day
when the stranger knocked or rang the bell. Here is what I
came up with.
I'm interested in your reaction.
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
an inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had
said, "Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in
the holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given
to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents. It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please
don't tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to
you." The man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him
drive away. But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man
walking away
from the house. She felt her blood run cold. She ran to her bedroom
without looking at the little packet and placed it with other
papers in her
dresser.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 9:37 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hi Judith,
>
> Your sentence reads:
>
> Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
> packet
> and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 1:
>
> She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at
the little
> packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 2:
>
> Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the
little packet and
> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the
character runs to
> her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such
descriptive word
> means
> she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people
aren't likely to
> dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
> little
> disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I
would spend
> more
> time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
> visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
> looked,
> something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the
visitor as the
> character.
>
> I hope that helps.
>
> Best,
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up
their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
> appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
> appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
> an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
> man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
> family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
> containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
> to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
> It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
> A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
> front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
> the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
> house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
> at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
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>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
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Message: 3
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:06:28 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Question about word usage
Message-ID: <5D2094D22E534930AFC1E4B7CF3EBDF0 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
In my re-reading this passage and having other readers critique my work
this
passage is clear. Mrs. Hamilton is Sheila. He hands h4e the package.
That
is how she has it. The messenger leaves and she runs to the window.
Since
only Sheila and the messenger are in the scene, I don't understand the
confusion.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 3:36 PM
Subject: [stylist] Question about word usage
Jo,
Again, I agree with your assessment and it does need to be clear why she
is so afraid of the situation. Is it the package itself, or is it the
man?
It is confusing, too, as to where we are in time with this small exerpt.
And is Sheaila the "she?" I know Judith is not asking for suggestions
other than word usage, but this small passage is unclear as to what is
happening.
It begins with a memory and I assume the man and the "she" running to
the window are a part of the memory, but it is not clear. And how does
she already have the packet to run by if she just saw the man deliver it
to Mrs. Hamilton? At what point does "she" receive the package? And is
Jennifer the "she" and if so, who is Sheila and Mrs. Hamilton?
It is a bit difficult, from this exerpt alone, to make a word suggestion
when the text is unclear about so much.
I still maintain that "Her blood ran cold" is too much of a clich?, but
regardless, what exact emotion does "she" feel and why. Without this
knowledge, I'm not sure what word best fits.
Bridgit
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of stylist-request at nfbnet.org
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 12:00 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 23
Send stylist mailing list submissions to
stylist at nfbnet.org
To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
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You can reach the person managing the list at
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When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific than
"Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
Today's Topics:
1. Sense of Murder (Bridgit Pollpeter)
2. Please join my blog (Bridgit Pollpeter)
3. please support my blog (Bridgit Pollpeter)
4. Re: Please join my blog (BDM)
5. New list member (Bill Outman)
6. Re: please support my blog (cheryl echevarria)
7. Re: Please join my blog (KajunCutie926 at aol.com)
8. Re: Please join my blog (Anita Adkins)
9. Re: New list member (cheryl echevarria)
10. Re: Please join my blog (Judith Bron)
11. need help (Hina)
12. Re: Please join my blog (Robert Leslie Newman)
13. Re: need help (Judith Bron)
14. question about word usage (Judith Bron)
15. Re: question about word usage (Justin Williams)
16. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
17. Re: question about word usage (Angela Fowler)
18. Re: question about word usage (Barbara Hammel)
19. Re: New list member (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
20. Re: question about word usage (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
21. Re: New list member (Robert Leslie Newman)
22. Re: Please join my blog (Jacobson, Shawn D)
23. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
24. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
25. Re: question about word usage (Jacobson, Shawn D)
26. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
27. Re: question about word usage (Joe Orozco)
28. Re: question about word usage (Judith Bron)
29. Re: question about word usage (Joe Orozco)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 13:57:22 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Sense of Murder
Message-ID: <SNT136-w888BAEAC10A6C78645C68C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
JC,
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. This was just an
assignment for a class and not a serious attempt. I actually wrote it
in a 12 hour time span so that accounts for a lot of the grammar errors
and plot details. A lot of people have suggested that I keep at this
and turn it into a novel. I find this interesting since I had no
intention of picking it up again, but maybe I will.
While most readers have appreciated some of the explanations for
blindness specific things like JAWS, I agree that I can leave this out
or at least "show" it instead of "tell" it.
I also was telling it all through a blind POV so that is why I do not
have visual descriptions unless they are from Ayden's past (before he
was blind) or when Salma describes things (like the house) for him. I
tried to describe Salma and others without using visual descriptions,
trying to keep the POV in a blind perspective. This is actually
difficult for me as I'm a very visual person even though I am now blind.
I found myself writing visual descriptions when they shouldn't be there!
*smile*
When Ayden notices Salma's jasmine perfume, it was not the first time,
but just a sensory detail in the scene. He knew she was next to him
because, well he knew her presence was there, but he can smell her. It
was merely a sensory detail and not because he had never smelled her
before.
Thanks again for taking time to read through this. I appreciate all
your comments.
Bridgit
> From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 21
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 10:33:28 -0500
>
> Send stylist mailing list submissions to
> stylist at nfbnet.org
>
> To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
> stylist-request at nfbnet.org
>
> You can reach the person managing the list at stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
>
> When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
> than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
>
>
> Today's Topics:
>
> 1. Re: Danielle's story (Danielle Montour)
> 2. Re: Short story: warrior (Shelley J. Alongi)
> 3. Re: detective short fiction "Sense of Murder" some language,
> alludes to sexual content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR) 4. Re:
> Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor" (Jacobson, Shawn D) 5.
> Lighting the Night for the Blind (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 13:14:16 -0400
> From: Danielle Montour <dannivoiceangel333 at gmail.com>
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Danielle's story
> Message-ID: <4cb5e8fa.e055e60a.367b.ffffc33f at mx.google.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1; format=flowed
>
> Hi,
> I haven't received this advice from anyone else, so I was
> wondering what you mean by this, and what I should do instead.
>
> Danielle
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 09:26:54 -0400
> Subject: [stylist] Danielle's story
>
> Hi, Danielle
> It seems to me the story would benefit by putting it into active
> voice (in other words, get rid of the "you would have..."), since
> it is a battlefield story.
> Just my take.
> Lori
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:36:06 -0700
> From: "Shelley J. Alongi" <QueenofBells at roadrunner.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Short story: warrior
> Message-ID: <00ed01cb6b59$517f7500$6601a8c0 at Shelley>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
> reply-type=original
>
> Interesting story it will be nice with a little work as are all
> stories.
> It's part of being a writer, always making our stories better. You
have
> gotten some great advice here I hope you'll work on it. Perhaps you
can
> submit it to the NFB youth contest this year.
>
>
>
> Shelley J. Alongi
> NFBWD Slate and Style editor
> Home Office: (714) 525-9632
> Read my Metrolink writings and other essays and stories
> http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=1&author
> =AlongiSJ&alpha=A
>
> Updated: September 18, 2010
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Danielle Montour" <dannivoiceangel333 at gmail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, October 10, 2010 5:52 PM
> Subject: [stylist] Short story: warrior
>
>
> > Hi,
> > I wrote this story two years ago when I was 11, and I want to
> > improve it. I still want to keep it a short story, I just want to
> > make it better. Could anyone help me with this? Also, if I'm not
> > supposed to send attachments to this list, I'm sorry. I never heard
> > I couldn't, so I'm assuming that it's ok.
> >
> > Danielle
> >
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ----------
>
>
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site: http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
> > for
> > stylist:
> >
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/queenofbells%40
roadrunner.com
> >
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 3
> Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:46:56 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] detective short fiction "Sense of Murder" some
> language, alludes to sexual content
> Message-ID: <201010140446.o9E4kxXF022559 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed
>
> Bridgid,
> this is a very cool story! it draws me in right
> away. yes, as others mentioned salting the
> history around with people and places would improve it.
> and:
> ... Vague insinuations were the closest anyone came to mentioning
?murder" ...
> ---instead, you could have given an example
> incident of "vague insinuations" to heighten the
> emotional value and so to the reader they wouldn't be so vague.
> instead of telling us some other things around
> this point in the story, like his not fitting in,
> give us an event, somebody's reaction, etc., more concrete.
> also, a little more about Ayden and his
> appearance would be nice early in the story.
>
> okay, describe Salma. is she a darkly passionate
> latina? is she a tall and flowing statuesque
> blonde? (these days Juarez doesn't necessarily
> mean latina) or describe her from Ayden's view:
> is her voice quietly simmering? does she always
> have a scent that reminded one of a south seas
> island? when she is with Ayden do they laugh a
> lot together? As a blind man I would say that
> some of these really fit better early near the
> introduction of Salma. I guess the most critical
> question: does she love ayden? how does she love ayden?
>
> wow! good drawing of Lucy, and A.W.! you have me on the edge of my
> seat!
>
> ?Maybe he just wants to keep your family secrets,
> well, secret. Some people don?t like giving out info about anything.?
> ?I just feel like he knows more than he?s letting
> on. Mom just played dumb too.?
> ?We?ll find something. Don?t worry.?
> ---is great dialogue.
>
> "sharply" is good here, heightens suspense.
> prize winning roses is a little stereotypical,
> but stereotypes often spring from a proportion of truth.
>
> okay, A.W. is in the love note, and now Alice
> Whitley is the only name mentioned by the
> Sheriff. but Ayden doesn't follow up with the
> sheriff with a question about her? perhaps your
> intention is to draw Ayden as excessively
> introspective, overly shy, or slow on the
> uptake? the followup on A.W. to the sheriff, and
> only at the Templeton home does he notice Salma's
> scent? just saying: as a blind man I think most
> blind men would have noticed her scent before
> that. but maybe that's your intention.
>
> also, I particularly liked your writing the
> Sheriff's description of the "templeton men" and
> Salma's reaction to the Sheriff.
>
> minor pedantic point: "tresses" is actually
> misused in your text unless Ayden is wearing an
> unusual hair fashion for a man.
>
> Very good description of the old Templeton
> home. and of Alice Whitley. it is obvious that she still loves Henry.
>
> This dialogue is especially good in its
> simplicity! Alice continued to spill her story, hoping for redemption
perhaps.
> ?The final straw came right before his death. We
> had carried on for almost forty-years and I knew
> it had to stop. We fought. I threatened to tell
> Lucy and that was that. He left me promising to
> choose. I waited for an answer, but a week later, Henry was found
dead.?
> ?Did you ever tell anyone?? Ayden asked.
>
> I kinda wished for some description or image of
> alice whitley at their departure, but again I'm probably being
pedantic.
> Ayden and Salma spending the night together in
> the Templeton home, very good plot element and very nicely done!
> "DeMint, he swore to himself." I'm guessing you
> meant damnit, and not a reference to a south carolina senator?
>
> the pacing, wording and imagery in this area of
> your story is wonderful. absolutely right and
> sets the reader up for surprise by the fire.
> "vigilante guarding" maybe you mean "vigilant
> guarding?" or "of being a vigilante?"
>
> she slowly regained a conscience state
> should be "conscious state."
>
> their escape is very exciting and also quite
> plausible. hope you revisit the harlaquinesque escape! cool ref.
>
>
> Her perfume, it?s the same smell I noticed in the closet last night.
> this is a very good element in your plot. as I read, my mind is
> already reeling off all kinds of possibilities.
>
> glad to see the love blossom between Ayden and
> Salma. and you have him acting in ways to protect her by the end.
> your ending sure does leave the reader wishing
> for more. like this is the first of at least three chapters.
>
> Bridgid, this is a very good story, and I only
> saw a couple of spelling or word choice issues.
> the narrative flows very well and keeps my attention.
>
> though I like the public to know about how I do
> access information and do things as a blind
> person, in places, such as the hot keys
> reference, the asides and apostrophes explaining
> how bAyden did something do sometimes detract
> from your narrative. I think for some readers
> the number and frequency of these might actually
> have an effect on the reader opposite to your
> intention. some readers might well be irritated
> by them, or feel like "what's the big deal, so what."
> so, I probably just dropped a controversial comment there, lol.
>
> I liked your story very much. are there any more
> Salmas living in Ayden's building?
> jc
>
>
> At 09:05 PM 10/7/2010, you wrote:
>
> >Hey guys,
> >
> >I'm taking a detective fiction class this
> >semester for an upper lit credit. We had to
> >write detective shorts and I thought I would
> >share mine with you. Keep in mind that this is
> >not my genre and also, I wrote it in about a
> >12-our time span. Yes, I'm a procrastinator! *smile*
> >
> >It was fun though so enjoy.
> >
> >Bridgit P
> >
> >Sense of Murder
> >
> >Ayden sat in his father?s leather wingback chair
> >rolling a large key between his fingers. The
> >metal key had been cold, but now was warmed by
> >his hands. He gripped the key in his palm and
> >rubbed a thumb across the rough , rusty
> >surface. Three weeks ago, Ayden had merely been
> >researching the mysterious death of his
> >grandfather for a book he was writing. Now, he
> >sat among items wondering if his grandfather had been murdered.
> >Ayden?s father, Nick, had found Henry, his
> >grandfather, lying at the bottom of the
> >staircase in his home. Nick never spoke about
> >the incident after reporting it to the
> >police. He would not speak to Ayden about
> >Henry?s death either, but he was allowing Ayden
> >and Salma to search through any items Nick kept.
> >No one had been sure what happened. Lucy,
> >Ayden?s grandmother, had been present too when
> >Henry?s body was found. The police recorded the
> >death as an accidental fall. Many silently pointed fingers at Lucy
though.
> >Lucy had grown distraught during the past few
> >months before Henry?s death. Friends and family
> >reported that she had been distracted often or
> >in an irritated mood. This was unlike the warm
> >and tender grandmother Ayden had grown up with.
> >When Nick found his father?s body, Lucy had gone
> >wild, screaming, unable to leave Henry?s
> >lifeless body. Eventually Nick placed her in a
> >care home. Here Lucy had reached an almost
> >catatonic state until she too had passed.
> >Gossips spread the news, sweeping far and
> >wide. Lucy was crazy, they said. She went mad,
> >she killed her husband. It was juicy, just what
> >a small town needed. The police never looked
> >into the possibility, but Lucy died with a
> >scarlet letter attached to her memory. Ayden
> >could never believe that Lucy would hurt
> >anyone. Lucy had been fond of Ayden, guiding
> >him, encouraging him. ?You?re so full of
> >potential, Ayden. I can see fire in your eyes,?
> >she used to tell him. When Ayden lost his
> >vision, Lucy had been the one person who supported him, still
encouraging.
> >For years, though, there had been whispers of
> >foul play, but no one ever spoke about the
> >rumors. Vague insinuations were the closest
> >anyone came to mentioning ?murder.? Ayden,
> >though, had never played by the rules. His
> >mother referred to him as the ?black sheep of
> >the family? whenever she threw a dinner
> >party. Ayden never felt like he fit in his
> >family?s world of snobbish dinner parties, elite
> >country clubs and preferential treatment at most
> >Ivy League universities. He had already been a
> >disappointment to his family before a car
> >accident left him blind. Seven-years later,
> >Ayden had come to terms with his blindness, but
> >his family accepted him only out of duty. His
> >father had been clear when saying, ?This
> >condition of yours is not suitable for the
> >courtroom, but the firm can take you on in a
> >capacity for research, perhaps. Maybe a paralegal position will be
suitable.?
> >Ayden was not able to live with this attitude
> >hanging over him. After completing his
> >bachelor?s in literature, Ayden took up a career
> >writing for any newspapers or journals that
> >accepted his entries. Writing for a small
> >literary journal allowed Ayden to work on his
> >novel which had turned into a fictionalized
> >account of his grandfather?s death. Asking his
> >father for any information about his
> >grandfather?s life, was the reason Ayden now sat
> >in his father?s study. He found more, he
> >thought, than his father knew about though.
> >?So what?s next?? Salma asked. Salma lived
> >across the hall from Ayden in his
> >building. They had become friends, and Salma
> >now was helping him research his grandfather?s life.
> >Tapping the key in his palm, Ayden said, ?I?m
> >not sure. This letter says a lot.?
> >Ayden closed his eyes thinking on this
> >letter. It was evidence, even if
> >circumstantial, that suggested, if Lucy knew
> >about it, she could have killed Henry.
> >There was a pause then paper crackled before
> >Salma spoke. ?It?s pretty clear from this
> >letter that your grandfather was having an
> >affair. I wonder if we can figure out these initials, A. W.?
> >Ayden shut his eyes thinking, trying to remember
> >anyone he had ever met with A. W. for initials. ?I don?t know,? he
sighed.
> >As Ayden and Salma leafed through pictures and
> >notes, they had found an old copy of Wuthering
> >Heights. Ayden remembered the year Henry had
> >given the third edition book to Lucy for
> >Christmas. Lucy had sat unwrapping the gift,
> >then exclaimed, ?Oh,? before looking up with
> >tears in her eyes. Wuthering Heights had always
> >been her favorite novel. Lucy had been the one
> >person to encourage Ayden to follow his dream
> >and take up writing instead of joining the
> >family law firm. ?You?re meant to follow your
> >own path,? Lucy had told Ayden
> >once. Twenty-years later, Ayden and Salma found
> >a letter enclosed in the pages of the book.
> >Ayden touched the thick, but stiff piece of
> >paper and held it out to Salma to inspect. She
> >told him the letter appeared old, but not as old
> >as the book. A few of the torn edges of the
> >letter were turning yellow. The letter was simple as she read:
> >Henry, my love,
> >I can not wait to see you again. I hoped and
> >when I saw you coming down the road, my heart
> >leaped. I still feel your touch. How much
> >longer must we wait? Please, my darling, give
> >me what I ask before it is too late.
> >Love, A. W.
> >?What now? Where do we go next?? Salma asked.
> >Ayden held the rusted, copper key up in front of
> >him. ?We visit the old Templeton mansion.?
> >The Templeton mansion was the Victorian home
> >Henry and Lucy had lived in for years. The
> >family still owned it, but it had sat empty for
> >years. Ayden thought that maybe more secrets
> >were hidden within the walls of the Templeton house, eager to be
discovered.
> >
> >
> >
> >Ayden sat in the car as Salma drove. Neither
> >spoke as Ayden?s fingers slid across the pages
> >on his lap. Reading his Braille notes, Ayden
> >wondered where to start once they reached the
> >small town where his grandparents and father had
> >grown up. Henry had started a small law firm in
> >town, but eventually it grew. Henry and Lucy
> >had moved when Nick had been ten. Nick never
> >spoke about his childhood though. Ayden really
> >didn?t know much about his family?s past. Lucy
> >and Henry had moved back to their old house once
> >Nick took the firm over, but Ayden had rarely
> >visited the home. After Henry had died, Lucy,
> >unable to cope with his death, had moved into an
> >upscale nursing home in the City, and Nick left
> >the house untouched. The house had sat empty now for ten years.
> >As the car slowed, Ayden looked up at Salma. ?Are we there??
> >?Yes. What?s our first stop??
> >?I?m figuring this out as we go along. I guess the police station.?
> >Salma was silent before saying, ?You okay? I know your dad wasn?t
happy.?
> >Ayden had questioned his father about the
> >letter, but Nick had gone quiet and cold before
> >telling Ayden, ?Leave it alone. We don?t dig up family history.?
> >Ayden tried to coax Nick to say more, but the subject was closed.
> >?Yeah. I wish he would have told us more. Explained something,? Ayden
said.
> >?Maybe he just wants to keep your family
> >secrets, well, secret. Some people don?t like giving out info about
anything.?
> >?I just feel like he knows more than he?s
> >letting on. Mom just played dumb too.?
> >?We?ll find something. Don?t worry.?
> >Salma was always reassuring Ayden. She had
> >become a constant in his life. The only real
> >constant he had. She had shown up one day,
> >knocking on his door, holding a dish in her
> >hands, offering Ayden some home made
> >enchiladas. That had been the beginning of
> >their friendship. They had spent many nights
> >talking until three in the morning and hanging
> >out on weekends. Salma was the one connection
> >Ayden had to the outside world. Once moving
> >away from his family, he had become a recluse of
> >sorts. He showed up to the office for work,
> >attended cocktail parties required for work and
> >even dated a couple of girls, but Salma was the
> >one person he truly felt comfortable with. Her
> >infectious way of always looking at things
> >positively seemed like a novelty to Ayden. She
> >could always make him smile. When he began
> >writing the book about Henry, Salma had offered to assist in anyway
she could.
> >?I?m really glad you?re here,? Ayden said.
> >
> >?Yeah, yeah. I?m waiting for my pay
> >check.? Salma giggled as she pulled into a
> >parking stall. ?I think we?re here.?
> >While Salma dropped coins into the parking
> >meter, Ayden tapped his cane along the brick
> >walls looking for the door. Hearing the clink
> >of glass as his cane tapped, Ayden was sure he found the door.
> >?No Braille, is this it?? he shouted back to Salma.
> >?I believe so,? she answered rushing to catch up.
> >They entered the quiet, almost lazy-like
> >atmosphere of the police station. Ayden moved
> >towards the sound of clacking as some one
> >pressed keys on a computer keyboard with a
> >practiced efficiency. This, he thought, must be a reception desk.
> >Stepping up to a smooth feeling counter, Ayden said, ?Excuse me.?
> >?Can I help you?? a woman?s bored voice said.
> >?We were wondering if we can speak to some one
> >who worked the Henry Templeton case,? Ayden said.
> >The woman stopped typing and a long silence followed. ?Who?s asking??
> >?I?m Ayden Templeton, Henry?s grandson.?
> >?One minute.? A chair creaked as the woman
> >stood. Her shoes clacked as she walked away.
> >Salma touched Ayden?s arm. ?She had a weird
> >look when you mentioned your grandpa?s name.?
> >Ayden said nothing, not sure what he was doing there in the first
place.
> >The woman?s shoes clacked once more as she
> >returned. Another footstep joined hers, but this person shuffled
slightly.
> >The person shuffled towards Salma, saying,
> >?Hello. I?m Sheriff Jenkins. How can I help you??
> >Ayden stepped closer towards Salma, extending
> >his arm to Sheriff Jenkins. ?I?m Ayden
> >Templeton and this is Salma Juarez. We have
> >some questions about my grandfather?s death.?
> >There was a pause before Sheriff Jenkins shook
> >Ayden?s hand. ?Step into my office please.?
> >Ayden followed the sheriff into a room off the
> >main section of the department. His cane swep
> >the inside of the door frame, indicating the
> >width so Ayden avoided bumping into the edges of
> >the frame. Ayden asked where a chair was and
> >turned in the direction Captain Jenkins
> >indicated. Once again, his cane found the chair
> >and sliding the cane across the seat, Ayden
> >determined where the front of the chair
> >was. Salma?s arm brushed his as she sat next to him.
> >?Can I get you anything?? Sheriff Jenkins asked.
> >?No, but thank you. Salma??
> >?I?m good,? Salma replied.
> >Ayden felt a tension fill the room as the three
> >sat there, not speaking. Sheriff Jenkins began
> >tapping the edge of the metal table in the
> >interrogation room. Ayden twisted his cane
> >between his fingers. Salma bobbed her foot
> >which was lightly kicking Ayden?s shin.
> >?We?re hoping to learn as much as we can about
> >Henry Templeton?s death. I?m researching the
> >story for a novel I?m working on,? Ayden started.
> >?I worked the case. There?s not much to tell,? Sheriff Jenkins said.
> >?I know you eventually reported it as an
> >accidental death, but was there ever any
> >evidence suggesting otherwise?? Ayden asked.
> >?No. We questioned friends and family and there
> >was no reason to believe Henry Templeton was
> >murdered,? Sheriff Jenkins said sharply.
> >Ayden shifted his head towards Salma before
> >saying, ?I know there was-uh-speculation that maybe my grandmother
did it.?
> >?Lucy Baldwin? She never hurt anyone. We were
> >all shocked when she married Henry. She could have had anyone she
wanted.?
> >Ayden leaned against the table looking straight
> >in the direction where Sheriff Jenkins sat. ?I
> >thought Henry was a catch? You know, a lawyer from a wealthy family.?
> >?He was a playboy. Always was, never changed.?
> >?Who did you question about his death?? Salma broke in.
> >The sheriff?s chair creaked as he leaned
> >back. ?Well, of course Lucy and her boy
> >Nick. They were there. Found his body and all.?
> >Ayden shot the sheriff a questioning glance. He
> >was talking like he had forgot who Ayden was.
> >?Then there was Zelda, the housekeeper, and
> >Avery Mayer, he came around about once a week to
> >help Lucy with the lawn. She loved her
> >garden. Her roses won prizes around here,? Sheriff Jenkins continued.
> >?Anyone else?? Ayden asked.
> >?Oh, his work associates, but Henry was retired
> >so they didn?t see much of him anymore. Alice
> >Whitley, she had been his personal secretary for
> >years. She still did stuff part-time for Henry.?
> >Ayden had pulled out a three-by-five plastic
> >device that had six rows of cells containing
> >three holes on each side of the cells. A
> >pop-pop-pop sound was made as Ayden poked a
> >pointed awl-like object called a stylus through
> >the holes as he took Braille notes. ?Are any of these people still
around??
> >?Not everyone had the same opportunities as the
> >Templeton?s to leave town. Other than Henry?s
> >work associates, I think most of them still live
> >around here. At least the one?s who are still alive.?
> >?Is there anything else you can tell us? Was
> >there anything strange you noticed? Any
> >evidence that suggest something other than an
> >accidental tumble down the stairs??
> >The sheriff laughed. ?I know you city folk like
> >to dream up seedy happenings in small towns, but
> >Henry Templeton?s death was nothing more than an
> >accident. Nothing dark about it.?
> >?Thank you for your time,? Ayden said extending
> >his hand again to shake Sheriff Jenkins?s.
> >Sheriff Jenkins sighed. ?Look, don?t go digging
> >anything up. Just let the dead rest.?
> >Salma?s bracelet tinkled as they stood.
> >?We understand. I?m just trying to find things
> >out about my grandfather for the book. You
> >know, no stone uncovered,? Ayden said.
> >?Are you two married?? Sheriff Jenkins asked.
> >Ayden, confused by the switch, replied, ?No.?
> >The sheriff chuckled. ?Like your grandpa, I see.?
> >Ayden blushed, but Salma said, ?Ayden is nothing
> >but a gentleman. Clearly something he did not pick up in this town.?
> >?I know the kind of men the Templeton?s are,? the sheriff said.
> >Unsure of what to do, Ayden turned to leave.
> >?At least he has a better chance of touching
> >what you have been admiring this whole time,?
> >Salma snapped. She turned quickly and Ayden
> >felt a rush of breeze as she left the room.
> >
> >Out in the car, Ayden apologized.
> >?I?m sorry. I didn?t know what to say.?
> >?It?s okay. He was a pig.?
> >?I didn?t realize-?
> >?I know, its okay. Where to next??
> >Ayden could tell Salma was upset, but he left it alone. ?The house, I
> >guess.? As Salma pulled back out into the street devoid of traffic,
> >Ayden wondered why she had told Sheriff Jenkins what she had. Was it
> >simply said in a moment of anger, or was there any
> >truth in her words, he thought. He has a better
> >chance of touching what you have been
> >admiring. For the first time, Ayden thought of the possibilities with
Salma.
> >
> >
> >Ayden stood before the house remembering the
> >bright blue it had been during the few visits he
> >had made during his childhood. The house had
> >always stood out even among the street full of
> >bright, cheery houses complete with emerald
> >lawns and award winning gardens. The Templeton
> >house had a wrap-around porch with a veranda to
> >the back opening onto a large lawn complete with
> >a British garden. Its three stories reached majestically towards the
sky.
> >
> >
> >Ayden now gripped the rough, wooden railing of
> >the house. The feel of the railing did not
> >match his memory of the sleek, smooth dark
> >wooden banister. The stairs creaked as he
> >stepped on them. Reaching the porch, he felt a
> >slight dip and quickly stepped sideways in fear
> >of falling through the porch. Children played
> >nearby and cars languidly drove down the street,
> >but a strange silence surrounded the house. It
> >was as though Ayden were underneath water trying
> >to make out the distant sounds. The scent of
> >jasmine passed briefly through his nose as Salma stood next to him.
> >?How does it look?? Ayden asked ignoring the scent.
> >Salma took a deep breath. ?It?s run down,
> >that?s for sure. I can?t believe no one has lived here for years.?
> >?My family still owns it, but after my
> >grandfather?s death, no one wanted to do anything about it.?
> >Ayden placed his hand on the cold handle of the
> >dilapidated Victorian house. He dug in his
> >pockets for the rusty key he had found in his
> >father?s office. As he inserted the heavy key
> >in the lock, a quiet click was heard. Ayden
> >pushed the solid door open. He looked in
> >Salma?s direction before stepping
> >inside. Shutting the door, the house engulfed all sound like a tomb.
> >?Creepy,? Salma said as she shivered.
> >Ayden walked forward tapping his long white
> >cane, arcing wide so as to not run into
> >anything. Dust filled the air and Ayden coughed as he inhaled.
> >?This has been sitting for years,? Ayden rasped. ?What?s it look
like??
> >Salma looked around. ?It?s really dark, but
> >it?s almost completely empty. What do you think you?ll find??
> >?I?m not sure. Sheriff Jenkins wasn?t much
> >help. I just thought, maybe something??
> >Salma?s sandals clipped-clopped as she walked
> >over to a window to open it. ?Well, if we are
> >going to be here long we need fresh air.?
> >Ayden felt a rush of summer breeze as the window
> >clambered up. The sound of kids jumping rope
> >ruined the house?s stolid silence. Life entered
> >the house again as Ayden began to feel around searching for any clue.
> >Salma clumped up the stairs as Ayden moved from
> >room to room feeling walls and any remaining
> >furniture, hoping to find something,
> >anything. He rifled through drawers and
> >cupboards. So far his hands had only found dust and cobwebs.
> >?Ayden, Ayden!? Salma shouted a couple of hours later.
> >Ayden hurried towards the staircase. ?Salma! Are you okay??
> >?Get up here! I found something!?
> >Ayden clambered up the grand
> >staircase. Reaching the top, he shouted, ?What room??
> >?Um, it?s a bedroom.?
> >Hearing her voice off to his left, Ayden moved
> >down the hallway. At the end, he found a door open.
> >?Salma??
> >Salma?s clapping sandals moved towards Ayden.
> >?Look at this,? she said excitedly. Her
> >bracelet tinkled and paper crackled as she shoved something in
Ayden?s hand.
> >Ayden grinned. ?Um?? He handed the paper back to Salma.
> >?Oh-sorry. I just-you won?t believe this.?
> >It was another letter; a love letter to Henry.
> >Henry, My love,
> >I miss you. I grow restless with each day. I
> >have waited years to be with you, really be with
> >you. Let?s stop the pretending, stop the
> >lies. Don?t be mad with me. I would do
> >anything for you, but we must stop
> >hiding. There is no harm in this. I will wait
> >to hear from you, but don?t take long.
> >Love,
> >A. W.
> >Salma rushed through the letter almost in one
> >breath. Ayden was not quite sure what her excitement was for.
> >?We already know Henry was having an affair of sorts,? he said.
> >Salma sighed impatiently. ?Ayden, think about it. Don?t you see??
> >?Not really,? he said slowly.
> >She grabbed his wrist. Her slender fingers
> >gripped him with a strength Ayden would not have
> >guessed at. She moved in closer and once again,
> >Ayden took in the scent of jasmine. This time
> >he smelled something else with it. Vanilla, he
> >thought. Salma shook his arm slightly bringing him back to attention.
> >?Ayden, A. W. Don?t you see it yet??
> >?A. W.??
> >?The initials,? she said exasperated, ?A. W. Alice Whitley.?
> >?Who?s Alice Whitley??
> >Salma smacked her forehead. ?Ay-where are your notes from today??
> >Ayden pulled out the three-by-five note card from his back pocket.
> >?Now read through it,? Salma said as though talking to a small child.
> >Half way through his notes, Ayden stopped and looked sharply up at
Salma.
> >?See?? Salma asked.
> >?I can?t believe we didn?t realize it then. His
> >secretary. And Sheriff Jenkins said she?s still living in town.?
> >?Think we can find her??
> >?Give me a minute,? Ayden said reaching for his
> >mobile phone tucked away in his pocket.
> >An electronic hum came from his phone as he
> >maneuvered through the menus on his phone. A
> >screen-reading program specific to mobile
> >phones, helped Ayden utilize the functions on his phone.
> >?Got it. There?s only one Alice Whitley that shows up in town.?
> >?Thank God for technology,? Salma said. ?No
> >wonder no one could ever solve this case.?
> >Ayden smirked at her. ?Thank God for accessible
> >technology. Come on. She doesn?t live far from here and it?s not too
late.?
> >
> >Ten minutes later, Ayden and Salma knocked on a
> >door. The house was less substantial than the
> >Templeton house, but Salma described its well-kempt lawn and cheery
exterior.
> >The door opened and a woman?s voice gasped, ?Oh.?
> >?Miss Whitley? I?m Ayden-?
> >?Templeton,? she said. ?You look like Henry.?
> >Smiling, Ayden said, ?Miss Whitley, this is my
> >friend Salma. We?re working on a book about my
> >grandfather, and we would like to ask you some questions.?
> >?Oh, of course. Come in, come in.?
> >As the door shut behind Ayden and Salma, he
> >smelled a flower scent that he couldn?t place
> >and a clock ticked nearby. Alice Whitley
> >ushered them into a sitting room off the
> >entryway. Salma sat next to Ayden on the soft
> >couch while Alice sat across from them.
> >?Can I offer you anything? I just made lemonade.?
> >?That would be wonderful,? Salma said.
> >As Alice left the room, Ayden turned towards
> >Salma. ?I?m sorry, I didn?t even think to ask if you were hungry.?
> >?Hon, it?s okay. I didn?t think about it myself until now.?
> >?We?ll have dinner after this; I promise.?
> >?Promise??
> >Ayden grinned as Alice returned. She placed an
> >ice-cold glass in Ayden?s hand. Ice chinked
> >against the side as he took a gulp. The cold
> >liquid felt good down his throat after the dust
> >of his family?s house. He could only imagine
> >how dirty he and Salma looked. He felt the
> >mingled grime of sweat and dirt on his
> >body. Why had it not occurred to them to stop
> >somewhere first and wash up, Ayden thought.
> >?So, what can I help you with? Henry was a dear
> >friend and I miss him. You must call me Alice.?
> >?Well, Alice, we specifically are interested in his death,? Ayden
said.
> >Alice choked on her lemonade. ?Why would you be interested in that??
> >?I believe that maybe his death wasn?t accidental.?
> >?Oh dear, don?t buy into those silly
> >rumors. Pete Jenkins conducted a thorough
> >investigation and no foul play was to be hinted at.?
> >?And yet the rumors persist,? Ayden said.
> >?Silly gossip. Housewives bored out of there minds.?
> >?You know Sheriff Jenkins?? Ayden asked.
> >?Darling, it?s a town of ten-thousand; everybody knows everybody.?
> >Ayden sipped on his lemonade as Salma clicked
> >her nails against the side of her glass.
> >?We have reason to believe maybe there is more
> >to the story,? Ayden said. He affected his best
> >courtroom demeanor. He had seen his father like this hundreds of
times.
> >Alice swirled ice chuncks around in her
> >glass. Her voice had lost some of its
> >cheeriness when she responded by asking, ?What makes you say that??
> >Ayden found the love letter in a folder. He
> >removed the Braille label, setting the letter on
> >the coffee table dividing Ayden and Salma from Alice.
> >The room grew still. The letter rustled as
> >Alice picked it up. When she spoke, she sounded
> >choked as though she were holding back tears.
> >?Where did you find this??
> >?It was in some old boxes in the Templeton home,? Salma said.
> >A long silence followed in which Ayden could hear Alice sniffling.
> >?I suppose the truth has to come out sooner or later,? Alice said
quietly.
> >?We don?t need-a-details of anything, but is
> >there any reason to think Henry was killed?? Ayden soothed.
> >?Your grandfather hired me when I was eighteen,?
> >Alice began, ignoring Ayden. ?I instantly fell
> >in love with him, but he was that
> >type. Dashingly handsome, charming to a
> >fault. He was a few years older than me, but I
> >knew how all the girls waited for their chance
> >to rope Henry into marriage. I felt so lucky to
> >see him everyday. I started out as a simple
> >receptionist, but eventually he promoted me to his personal
secretary.?
> >?Did you move with my grandparents then, when they moved?? Ayden
asked.
> >Alice sighed. ?Yes, but after-things happened-I
> >moved back. I remained in his employ, working
> >from the office here in town. Before your
> >father took charge, Henry?s headquarters had always been based from
here.?
> >Ayden nodded his head.
> >?I never meant to hurt anyone. Things
> >happened. Henry loved us both, Lucy and I. I
> >tried to end it for years, but Henry always
> >showed up with that smile of his. Then I tried
> >to make him choose. I should?ve known better, but I was in love.?
> >Alice continued to spill her story, hoping for redemption perhaps.
> >?The final straw came right before his
> >death. We had carried on for almost forty-years
> >and I knew it had to stop. We fought. I
> >threatened to tell Lucy and that was that. He
> >left me promising to choose. I waited for an
> >answer, but a week later, Henry was found dead.?
> >?Did you ever tell anyone?? Ayden asked.
> >?No.?
> >
> >Ayden and Salma stood by the car outside Alice?s
> >house. A breeze tousled Ayden?s hair and Salma
> >gently combed her fingers through his dark tresses.
> >?Seems like all you Templeton men are irresistible,? she said
teasingly.
> >Unsure of how to respond to her comment, he
> >grinned, but before he could make a remark,
> >Ayden heard her car door click open. He slid
> >into the passenger seat, heart pounding.
> >?You promised me dinner,? Salma whined playfully.
> >
> >After devouring diner-style hamburgers and
> >fries, Ayden and Salma found themselves walking
> >through the downtown area. Salma kept up with
> >Ayden?s stride as his cane tapped in a shoulder-length-arc.
> >?Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a small town,? Salma
mused.
> >?Really, you? Ms. Have-to-go-shopping-every-other-day,? Ayden joked.
> >?I could drive to the city. I don?t know. It
> >seems like a nice place to raise a family.?
> >Ayden had never heard Salma speak about kids or
> >families. As well as he knew her, Ayden
> >realized there was plenty he still had to learn about Salma.
> >?Yes, we could raise happy little kids who will
> >grow up to cheat, lie and murder,? Ayden scoffed.
> >?We, huh??
> >Ayden blushed, feeling the heat creep up his
> >neck to his face. He hadn?t caught his
> >blunder. He sputtered, but before he could make
> >sense of his words, Salma grabbed his hand.
> >?Maybe we can live in the Templeton mansion,? she said.
> >They walked silently back to the car.
> >?It?s pretty late, what should we do?? Salma asked.
> >Ayden flipped the crystal face of his watch
> >up. Feeling the raised dots and arrows with his
> >pointer finger on his Braille watch, he said,
> >?It?s a quarter to eleven. I?m beat.?
> >?Me too. I don?t really feel like driving back tonight though.?
> >Ayden scratched his head. ?I guess we can stay at casa-de-Templeton.?
> >?Okay, but no funny business,? Salma joked.
> >Sitting in the car, Ayden said, ?By the way,
> >unlike some men in my family, I?m more of a one-woman type.?
> >
> >They stood on either side of the king-size bed in the master bedroom.
> >?Sure you don?t want to sleep in another room?? Ayden asked.
> >?Hell no! This house is creepy.?
> >?I thought you wanted to raise children here??
> >?Shut-up. Scared to sleep with a girl?? The
> >bed creaked as Salma lay down on it. ?A bit musty.?
> >They had found spare bed linens in a box and had
> >attempted to shake them out as best they
> >could. Ayden had noticed a lingering wispy
> >scent of flowers that he could not place. It
> >may have been the remnants of something used to
> >launder the linens years ago, he had thought.
> >Without thinking, Ayden removed his shirt and
> >handed it to Salma. ?Here. You can wrap your pillow in it.?
> >?Thanks,? Salma said drawing the word out.
> >Realizing what he had just done, he blushed for
> >the millionth time that day. Not able to turn
> >back what he had done, Ayden lay slowly down, sticking close to the
edge.
> >?Keep your hands above the blankets,? Salma yawned.
> >
> >Ayden woke disoriented at first, but
> >comprehension quickly dawned as he felt Salma?s
> >small body nestled against his. She snored
> >quietly and Ayden smiled. This was nice, he
> >thought. He extracted himself gently from the bed, trying to not wake
Salma.
> >He needed to use the bathroom, but it struck him
> >that the bathrooms would not be in working
> >order. It was primitive, but it would have to
> >do, he thought as he found his way downstairs
> >and out into the back garden. Hoping no
> >neighbors were awake to see him, he relieved himself.
> >Half asleep still, his eyes snapped open as a
> >slight shuffle came from behind him. Finished
> >with his midnight chore, he listened intently,
> >but no sound came again. He turned around, gripping his cane in one
hand.
> >?Hello,? he said.
> >No response came. He turned back towards the
> >house and as he walked, Ayden felt his back
> >tingle. It was the sensation he felt as a child
> >when terrified, feeling a presence behind
> >him. He was an adult now, he chided
> >himself. Forcing himself to walk calmly back
> >into the house, he reached the French doors and
> >entered. As he went to shut the doors, a soft
> >shuffle started in the darkness again. It could
> >have been the long dead foliage rustling in the
> >breeze, but Ayden placed himself in the doorway
> >again. The noise instantly stopped.
> >Slamming the door and locking it, Ayden flew to
> >the stairs, taking three steps at a time. Heart
> >pounding, blood rushing in his ears, Ayden felt
> >a cool breeze cut through the stuffy air of the
> >bedroom. DeMint, he swore to himself. They had
> >opened windows before going to bed, hoping to
> >air out their lodgings for the night.
> >Salma still was sleeping peacefully on the
> >bed. He sat on the bed resting his head on the
> >large carved headboard, listening.
> >Crickets chirped outside and the breeze rustled
> >the leaves of trees from time to time. Salma
> >continued her snoring. Silence loomed around
> >the house. Ayden waited to hear the shuffle
> >noise again or a step on the stairs, but nothing
> >came. He relaxed after fifteen minutes of vigilante guarding.
> >Laying back down on the bed, one arm behind his
> >head, he smiled when Salma threw an arm across
> >his chest. Thinking only of Salma by now, Ayden drifted back off to
sleep.
> >
> >The second time Ayden woke he knew where he was,
> >but something was not right. Salma still snored
> >next to him as he spooned her, but an acrid odor
> >filled his nostrils. A loud crack made him bolt up in bed.
> >?Salma! There?s a fire!? He shook her until she woke up.
> >?We need to get out of here,? Ayden shouted as
> >she slowly regained a conscience state.
> >Ayden flew to the open door. Smoke filled his
> >nose and made his eyes water. ?Salma, I can?t
> >tell if we can make it down the stairs.?
> >Standing next to him, she said, ?All I can see
> >is smoke. Can we jump out the window??
> >?We?re on the second floor. It?s pretty high up.?
> >Now across the room, Ayden heard Salma cry, ?Oh-my-god! Ayden!?
> >?What??
> >?I can see flames around the base of the house.?
> >?Shit.? Trying to think, Ayden gathered up the
> >sheet from the bed. Dousing it with water from
> >the couple bottles purchased last night, he
> >threw the sheet at Salma. ?Wrap yourself in this.?
> >?Why??
> >?Just do it.?
> >Making sure her long hair was covered, Ayden
> >threw Salma over his shoulder. Grabbing his
> >cane by the door, he moved into the
> >hallway. Hoping the shirt tied around his face
> >would keep out smoke, Ayden ran to the top of
> >the stairs. Despite the situation, Ayden could
> >not help notice the harlequin-romance-like predicament.
> >He heard Salma say something, but her face was
> >muffled and he could not understand
> >her. Tucking his cane underneath his arm, he
> >groped the banister which still seemed
> >intact. Finally reaching the bottom, he found
> >his way to the front door and opened it. A rush
> >of fresh air greeted him. Feeling heat, he
> >hoped he could make it off the porch. At the
> >top of the stairs, panicked, he placed Salma
> >upright again. She struggled to loosen the sheet around her.
> >?Are the flames here too?? Ayden asked.
> >?No, but there coming from behind.?
> >At the end of the drive, Ayden dialed 911 on his
> >phone. Neighbors could be heard coming from
> >their own houses. A few ran up to Ayden and Salma asking if they were
okay.
> >Standing at a distance, Ayden could hear the
> >roar of flames. Salma held his hand as they
> >waited in silence for the sound of sirens.
> >
> >Ayden rested on the back bumper of Sheriff
> >Jenkins?s police cruiser. The mid-morning sun
> >warmed his face. Still shirtless, a blanket
> >draped his shoulders. A gritty smudge crossed
> >his forehead and he could still smell the smoke embracing his body.
> >Once the firemen had extinguished the fire,
> >Sheriff Jenkins and his deputy, a man about
> >Ayden?s age, drove Salma and Ayden to the police
> >station. Each gave a report before Nick was contacted.
> >Salma approached Ayden now offering a cup of
> >water. He gulped the cool liquid down as Salma
> >rested her head against his shoulder. Sniffing
> >her hair laced with a flower scent and smoke,
> >Ayden protectively placed an arm around her.
> >?Ayden,? Salma said in quiet surprise, ?Alice Whitley is here.?
> >Ayden pulled the blanket closed as he waited for
> >Alice to approach. A new scent filled his
> >nostrils. This too smelled of flowers, but it
> >was not the framiliar jasmine and vanilla Salma
> >wore. Through the fog of his brain, he tried to
> >place where he had smelled this scent before.
> >?I?m glad you two are alright,? Alice spoke
> >quietly. ?I can?t believe this. Do you need anything??
> >?Thank you, but we?re okay,? Salma said warmly.
> >?Pete phoned me this morning-?
> >?Sheriff Jenkins? Why?? Ayden asked.
> >Alice didn?t respond.
> >Waiting for an answer, Ayden finally recognized
> >the flower scent that had lingered in the closet
> >where he and Salma had found bed linens.
> >?Alice, did you visit the house after we left you yesterday??
> >Alice made a noise as though she were
> >suppressing it in her throat. She never
> >answered and before Ayden could ask anything
> >else, he heard her muffled footsteps on the grass as she walked
briskly away.
> >?Ayden?? Salma puzzled.
> >?Her perfume, it?s the same smell I noticed in the closet last
night.?
> >?Ayden, that?s where I found the letter too,? Salma whispered.?
> >Ayden heard the swish of grass as someone else
> >walked towards them. It was Nick.
> >?Are you crazy?? Nick asked, bewildered.
> >?I?m fine. Nice to see you too, Dad.?
> >Nick let out a long breath before saying, ?Your
> >mother and I went crazy when we heard what happened. We?re glad
you?re okay.?
> >?Is the house ruined?? Ayden asked.
> >Salma shifted and sat upright next to Ayden.
> >?It?s mostly the garden that was ruined, but there is damage to the
house.?
> >Ayden felt his chest tighten. The garden had
> >been Lucy?s favorite place. Ayden remembered
> >playing among the walk-ways and tall bushes as
> >Lucy tended to her beloved
> >flowers. Interrupting his thoughts, Ayden heard
> >a shuffling footstep approach. Another memory
> >pushed itself front and center in his mind. As
> >Sheriff Jenkins stopped his pace, Ayden gave him a hard look.
> >?Tom says it will take a few weeks to get
> >reports back, but there is some structural
> >damage to the house, Nick,? the sheriff said.
> >?Taken any midnight strolls to clear your mind
> >lately?? Ayden directed to Sheriff Jenkins.
> >No one spoke. Salma gripped his hand.
> >?Any reason why you?d call Alice Whitley early this morning?? Ayden
continued.
> >?Drop it,? Nick hissed at Ayden.
> >Thrown off by Nick?s tone, Ayden squeezed Salma?s hand, unsure what
to do.
> >?I?m sure we?re all tired and need to collect
> >our thoughts,? Sheriff Jenkins said. ?Maybe you
> >ought to take these two home, Nick.? Ayden
> >heard the lumbering shuffle again as Sheriff Jenkins walked away.
> >
> >
> >Ayden sat in front of the computer. A buzz
> >issued from the speakers as JAWS, a
> >text-to-speech program, sounded off with each command Ayden typed.
> >?Still working?? Salma asked from behind.
> >Ayden leaned his head back against her
> >stomach. She was wrapped in a large soft
> >towel. He slipped his hand through the folds,
> >but she turned swiftly away, laughing.
> >Spewing a torrent of Spanish at him, Ayden
> >chuckled. ?That just turns me on more.?
> >?I called you a great big moron whose brain is the size of his-?
> >?Doesn?t matter. Still sounds sexy.?
> >Salma whipped another towel at him before
> >scampering to the bedroom. Turning back to his
> >work, Ayden decided to check his email.
> >As he clicked on the necessary links using
> >Hotkey commands, he thought over the past few weeks.
> >Ayden had told his father what happened, but
> >Nick said that everything was
> >circumstantial. Ayden knew this, but he also
> >knew he had opened something up. Something that
> >had been meant to remain secret. Nick refused
> >to open any investigation and he remained tight-lipped about anything
he knew.
> >The fire was officially reported as an unknown
> >accident since no evidence, either way, had been
> >found determining a cause. This, at least, was
> >how the police report read. Ayden, though, had
> >inquired into the fire-chief?s report. It too
> >was inconclusive, but this report did mention
> >that a match book had been found near the
> >premises. Salma had advised Ayden to wait
> >before attempting any further investigation.
> >Salma had been the reason he was able to let the
> >weeks slip by without searching for more
> >clues. Once they had returned to the city,
> >Ayden had found the courage to express his budding feelings towards
Salma.
> >They had sat on the couch talking; a typical
> >Friday night for them, except this time Ayden
> >could feel a growing anticipation between
> >them. Salma had stood to get another beer from
> >the kitchen when Ayden reached for her
> >wrist. His large palm had felt bigger next to
> >her slim wrist. Both had stared silently at one
> >another. Ayden, thinking he would win this game
> >since he couldn?t see, broke first. Grinning
> >with a smirk, he had pulled Salma to him and kissed her.
> >Three weeks later, their routine was continued
> >as normal, yet something was different. They
> >had transitioned into this new element with
> >ease, as though it were meant to be. Their
> >friendship was strengthened by the new romance.
> >Still reminiscing, Ayden did not recognize the
> >name given for the first email he came
> >across. Opening it up, he read the following:
> >Your journey has just begun, but it is advisable
> >that you stop your investigation
> >immediately. Heartache and harm can only befall
> >you. Thank your luck and live long and well with your beautiful new
love.
> >There was no signature. Alarmed, Ayden checked
> >the From field, but the only information this
> >provided was
> >aconcernedfriend at gmail.com. Ayden?s pulse
> >quickened. Hearing Salma pad lightly back into
> >the room, he closed the window he was in. He
> >thought it was best to not alarm her just yet.
> >Holding Salma close against him, wrapping her in
> >a bear hug, Ayden knew this was just the beginning.
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflow
er.com
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 09:35:49 -0400
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'newmanrl at cox.net'" <newmanrl at cox.net>, 'Writer's Division
> Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor"
> Message-ID:
>
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D926BAA at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Cool article. It makes me want to go and brush up my Braille skills.
>
> Shawn
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
> Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 10:27 PM
> To: writers nfb
> Subject: [stylist] Gardner article from "the Braille Monitor"
>
> Hey you all! It is always great to be able to celebrate a division
members'
> accomplishment in getting published. When I find out and/or if any of
you
> find out a fellow member's success in getting published, let us post a
> notice or, even the published piece in STYLIST. So, here is a
published
> piece by Bob Gardner, which appeared in the pages of the October issue
of
> "The Braille Monitor."
>
>
>
> Braille Monitor October 2010
>
> (back) (contents) (next)
>
>
>
> We Are Able!
>
> by Robert Gardner
>
>
>
> >From the Editor: Our Braille Readers Are Leaders Contest was expanded
last
> year to include a category for adults. People wanting to improve their
> skills were encouraged to form teams to support and encourage one
another.
> In this account we share our surprise in winning, the bonds formed by
> reading aloud to each other, and the joy and accomplishment of one
team and
> the individuals in it.
>
>
>
> "Here's a package for you," my wife said, handing me a box large
enough for
> a new pair of shoes. "It's from the NFB National Center. Did you order
> something?"
>
>
>
> "No," I said, mystified. After cutting through the packing tape and
fumbling
> through the packing peanuts, I pulled out...what?
>
>
>
> My wife took a peek. "It's a plaque," she said. "Wow, you're Team of
the
> Year."
>
>
>
> I stood there, stunned. Our team had won the 2009-2010 adult Braille
Readers
> Are Leaders Team of the Year Award. This had been the first year for
the
> adult contest, and we were the winners. I could hardly believe it.
>
>
>
> The ABLE Group was formed in the fall of 2008 from within the
Blackhawk
> Chapter of the NFB of Illinois. ABLE stands for Access to Braille
Literacy
> for Everyone. Our goal was to increase our Braille skills by getting
> together weekly and reading aloud to each other. We'd usually have
four or
> five people involved, and all of us were in the Beginner category,
meaning
> all of us had plenty of opportunity to improve.
>
>
>
> Group member Lois Montgomery told me, "Meeting with the ABLE Group
every
> week and encouraging each other to improve our reading and writing
skills
> has definitely reaped benefits for all involved. Though I'm not a
speedy
> reader and will probably never be one, I focus on the fact that I am
> literate. I think back to the time when I couldn't see print and
didn't know
> Braille. This motivates me to advocate for Braille literacy."
>
>
>
> In the fall of 2009 our group read about the new adult category in the
NFB
> Braille Readers Are Leaders competition and the fact that we could
form a
> team. When quizzed, the members of the ABLE Group unanimously wanted
to
> enter the contest--and we became the ABLE Team. We charged forward
with five
> people joining the team. Enthusiasm was high. We continued to meet
face to
> face each week and kept in touch by phone and email. Articles sent out
by
> those coordinating the Braille Readers Are Leaders contest were passed
> around electronically. We even turned one of our weekly meetings into
a
> travel exercise by riding the bus to a local restaurant and having an
ABLE
> Team Christmas party.
>
>
>
> Jean Rauschenbach's story is unique but has some elements that are
universal
> amongst the group. She said, "I attended BLIND, Inc., learning the
skills to
> become a successful blind person. They changed my life and improved my
> self-esteem. Because of learning these skills, especially Braille, I
had the
> courage to go back to school at the age of fifty. I am literate again!
I
> take notes on a Braille notetaker and can read out loud what I have
> written-if haltingly. It is so great to be able to have notes to go by
when
> giving presentations in classes. My speed is still slow, but I know
that it
> will improve as I read Braille more and more."
>
>
>
> Jean continued, "Being on the ABLE Team was a challenge during the
school
> year, but I decided to concentrate my time on reading a book for
school. I
> spent a good deal of time on reading, but it paid off by increasing my
> reading speed. Sometimes we need the challenge of pressure to make us
do
> what we might put off to another time."
>
>
>
> At the start of the contest each of us had goals, but soon we noticed
that
> the competition had spurred us all to exceed them. When Lois
Montgomery
> began to pile up pages read, she was encouraged to enter the
individual
> reading award competition. As the Leader Board was posted in the
latter
> stages of the competition, we found Lois on top. And wow, what a
fantastic
> ending to the competition! Lois took number one in the beginner
category.
> She read around three thousand pages during the two months of the
contest.
>
>
>
> Team member Patrick Olson said, "Braille provides a way for me to
enjoy a
> book or document without straining my eyes with large print. Reading
Braille
> gives me much more satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment than an
audio
> book provides." As a side note, Patrick and team member Jana Hergert
had let
> their Braille skills slide before joining the ABLE Group. With a year
of
> work on the team, both of them cemented their understanding of the
> contractions and probably doubled their reading speeds.
>
>
>
> Last spring I was shocked when I first held the plaque signifying that
the
> ABLE Group had won Team of the Year. Here we were, in our little
corner of
> Illinois, and we had been selected out of all the teams across the
entire
> country. I immediately grabbed the phone and relayed the news to team
> members. I then had to contact several people at BLIND, Inc., where I
> learned Braille. One of my greatest pleasures was a personal phone
call to
> my Braille instructor, Melody Wartenbee, to thank her for all her
patience
> and perseverance.
>
>
>
> The Braille Readers Are Leaders adult contest brought the ABLE Team
closer
> together and increased our dedication to improving our Braille skills.
The
> contest pushed us all to write more, read more, and increase our
commitment
> to Braille literacy. The ABLE Team will continue to meet, inspired to
reach
> new levels by the Braille Readers Are Leaders Contest.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Robert Leslie Newman
>
> President- NFB Writers' Division
>
> Division Website
>
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org>
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>
> Personal Website-
>
> <http://www.thoughtprovoker.info> http://www.thoughtprovoker.info
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/shawn.d.jacobso
n%40hud.gov
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 5
> Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 09:36:23 -0400
> From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
> To: "Human Services List" <humanser at nfbnet.org>, <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Lighting the Night for the Blind
> Message-ID: <00b301cb6ba4$d34898f0$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>
> Please help spread the word by distributing this information as widely
as appropriate!
>
>
> Helpful information is attached to the original message. If you did
not receive these attachments, please send a message to
>
>
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> Other resources are provided following this release.
>
>
>
> FOR IMMEDIATE USE
>
>
>
> From: National Association of Guide Dog Users
>
>
>
> Date: October 14, 2010
>
>
>
> Contact: Marion Gwizdala, President
>
> 813-598-7161
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> Lighting the Night FOR the Blind
>
>
>
> Rising thirty-seven storeys above downtown Tampa near the mouth of the
Hillsborough River lies a landmark that captures the attention and
imagination of anyone who views the evening skyline of the second
largest metropolitan area in the state of Florida . It's not because of
its height that it is so recognizable, as it stands far shorter than a
competitor's building. But rising another 87 feet above the
thirty-seventh floor is a four-sided pyramid - a ziggurat, to be precise
- and they light it up at night! It is said the lights can be seen up to
ten miles away! At least they are seen by the thousands of motorists
traveling one of the three major highways that pass through Tampa and
the building's lights are featured on nautical maps of Tampa Bay.
>
> From October 15 - 17, the Sun Trust Financial Center will light its
rooftop with the colors of the National Federation of the Blind (NFB) to
commemorate Meet the Blind Month and recognize National White Cane
Safety Day. The four colors of the Federation logo - purple, red, blue,
& gold - will chase around the ziggurat at one second intervals as a
symbol of the National Federation of the Blind and then display a four
second white light for National White Cane Safety Day.
>
>
>
> "The lighting of the building also coincides with the launch of a
valuable new service for guide dog users," explains Marion Gwizdala, a
Tampa resident who serves as president of the National Association of
Guide Dog Users (NAGDU). The NAGDU Education & Advocacy Hotline will go
on-line over the weekend. Though mostly under construction at this time,
the hotline will eventually provide pre-recorded messages on a variety
of issues related to guide dog use, including information about the
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibition of discrimination
against service animal users, summaries and texts of state statutes, and
how these laws relate to specific industries, such as restaurants,
hotels, taxicabs, and airlines. Callers will also have the ability to
speak with a live trained advocate if more specific or immediate
guidance is needed. The NAGDU Education & Advocacy Hotline can be
accessed 24/7 by calling 866-972-DOGS (3647).
>
>
>
> NFB's "Meet the Blind Month" is an annual event of the National
Federation of the Blind. The primary focus in 2010 is to shatter common
misconceptions about blindness, show how far the blind have come due to
the efforts of the NFB, and focus attention on the work that needs to be
done for the blind to obtain full integration into society on the basis
of equality. The Federation also provides interesting, upbeat
presentations about blindness and guide dogs and their use for civic
organizations, business associations, churches, and schools.
>
>
>
> National White Cane Safety Day (October 15) is a presidentially
proclaimed observance to raise public awareness of the traffic laws that
assist blind pedestrians. In all states, whenever a blind person is
crossing a street or driveway carrying a white cane or accompanied by a
guide dog, all traffic must stop until the blind person has safely
crossed. Violation of Florida's "White Cane Law" is a moving violation
that carries three (3) points on the driver license, fines, and can
result in higher insurance rates. Stop for blind pedestrians - It's the
law!
>
>
>
> For more information about the National Association of Guide Dog Users
or the National Federation of the Blind, go to
>
>
>
> HTTP://NAGDU.ORG
>
> HTTP://NFB.ORG
>
>
>
> Or call 813-626-2789
>
>
>
> # # #
>
>
>
>
>
> Informational References
>
>
>
> National Association of Guide Dog Users (NAGDU)
>
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind (NFB)
>
> Marion Gwizdala, President
>
> 813-626-2789
>
> President at NAGDU.ORG
>
> HTTP://NAGDU.ORG
>
>
>
> National Federation of the Blind (NFB)
>
> Marc Maurer, President
>
> Chris Danielson, Director of Public Relations
>
> 410-659-9314
>
> HTTP://NFB.ORG
>
>
>
> Blind Driver Challenge
>
> HTTP://BlindDriverChallenge.org
>
>
>
> Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)
>
> United States Department of Justice
>
> 800-514-0301
>
> HTTP://ADA.GOV
>
>
>
> Floridians with Disabilities Act Attached)
>
> 413.08 f.s.
>
>
>
> Florida White Cane Law (Attached)
>
> 316.1301
>
>
>
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> ------------------------------
>
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>
>
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 78, Issue 21
> ***************************************
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:25:07 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <SNT136-w47BD3C74EE62F9F48E2C70C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness
and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical
professionals so I will be blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:27:12 -0500
From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] please support my blog
Message-ID: <SNT136-w527A17294C08716D7ACA09C4560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Okay, it would be helpful to let you know that the website is
livewellnebraska.com! *smile* Also check out the Facebook and Twitter
pages.
Bridgit
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:37:58 -0500
From: BDM <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <6.2.3.4.2.20101014143724.02ac32b0 at www.braddunsemusic.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
Congratulations Bridgit!
Brad
At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>Dear List,
>
>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
experiences.
>
>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>
>Bridgit Pollpeter
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddu
nsemusic.com
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
Brad Dunse
If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
get them in the boat with you
E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 15:56:11 -0400
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <000001cb6bd9$e8bc2230$ba346690$@net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:21:49 -0400
From: "cheryl echevarria" <cherylandmaxx at hotmail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] please support my blog
Message-ID: <BAY110-DS21858EE88BE81E220C14CDA1560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
mine is
http://echevarriatravel.wordpress.com/<http://echevarriatravel.wordpress
.com/>
And it is not only about travel, I put other information pertaining to
NFB things as well.
I will support you as well.
The biggest compliment you can pay me is to recommend my services!
Cheryl Echevarria
http://Echevarriatravel.com<http://echevarriatravel.com/>
1-866-580-5574
Reservations at echevarriatravel.com<mailto:Reservations at echevarriatravel.c
om>
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Montrose Travel
CST-1018299-10
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Absolute Cruise and Travel
Inc.
join my yahoogroup
echevarriatravel-subscribe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:echevarriatravel-subsc
ribe at yahoogroups.com>
----- Original Message -----
From: Bridgit Pollpeter<mailto:bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: writers division<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:27 PM
Subject: [stylist] please support my blog
Okay, it would be helpful to let you know that the website is
livewellnebraska.com! *smile* Also check out the Facebook and Twitter
pages.
Bridgit
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/
>
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/<http://www.nfb-writers-division.or
g/>>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://www.nfb
net.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/cherylandmaxx%4
0hotmail.com<http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ch
erylandmaxx%40hotmail.com>
------------------------------
Message: 7
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:41:51 EDT
From: KajunCutie926 at aol.com
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <81eb.145f80e.39e8c50f at aol.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Very cool Bridgit... congratulations!!
In a message dated 10/14/2010 3:00:07 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
lists at braddunsemusic.com writes:
Congratulations Bridgit!
Brad
At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>Dear List,
>
>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
experiences.
>
>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>
>Bridgit Pollpeter
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddu
nsem
usic.com
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
Brad Dunse
If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
get them in the boat with you
E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/kajuncutie926%4
0aol
.com
------------------------------
Message: 8
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:44:56 -0400
From: "Anita Adkins" <aadkins7 at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <607842FF7737423E8525941FD36F439A at AnitaAdkinsPC>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hello,
I went to the website, but I did not find a place where I could
subscribe to
the blog. I am assuming this is because the date hasn't approached yet.
Right? Or, am I missing something? Thanks. Anita
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:25 PM
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
>
> Dear List,
>
> I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write
a
> blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
> website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness
and
> diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical
professionals
> so I will be blogging about my personal experiences.
>
> The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
> Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my
individual
> blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile*
I
> would appreciate everyone's support.
>
> Bridgit Pollpeter
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/aadkins7%40veri
zon.net
------------------------------
Message: 9
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:14:46 -0400
From: "cheryl echevarria" <cherylandmaxx at hotmail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <BAY110-DS229B7A9D6295DD5A6E2173A1560 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
Welcome Bill.
The biggest compliment you can pay me is to recommend my services!
Cheryl Echevarria
http://Echevarriatravel.com<http://echevarriatravel.com/>
1-866-580-5574
Reservations at echevarriatravel.com<mailto:Reservations at echevarriatravel.c
om>
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Montrose Travel
CST-1018299-10
Affiliated as an Independent Contractor with Absolute Cruise and Travel
Inc.
join my yahoogroup
echevarriatravel-subscribe at yahoogroups.com<mailto:echevarriatravel-subsc
ribe at yahoogroups.com>
----- Original Message -----
From: Bill Outman<mailto:woutman at earthlink.net>
To: stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:56 PM
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention
in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/
>
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/<http://www.nfb-writers-division.or
g/>>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org<mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org<http://www.nfb
net.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org>
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/cherylandmaxx%4
0hotmail.com<http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ch
erylandmaxx%40hotmail.com>
------------------------------
Message: 10
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:57:02 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <B2436D12A3A04E07BCD4390561F2E944 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Congrats! Please send the address to the list once you have it. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: <KajunCutie926 at aol.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 4:41 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
> Very cool Bridgit... congratulations!!
>
>
> In a message dated 10/14/2010 3:00:07 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
> lists at braddunsemusic.com writes:
>
> Congratulations Bridgit!
>
> Brad
>
> At 02:25 PM 10/14/2010, you wrote:
>
>>Dear List,
>>
>>I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to
>>write a blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and
>>wellness website that will be interactive. I will be blogging about
>>blindness and diabetes. I am one of the two bloggers who are not
>>medical professionals so I will be blogging about my personal
> experiences.
>>
>>The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on
>>Thursdays. Please support this blog as the more traffic the site
>>(and my individual blog) have will mean I will have a job longer
>>than 6 months. *smile* I would appreciate everyone's support.
>>
>>Bridgit Pollpeter
>>_______________________________________________
>>Writers Division web site:
>>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>><http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>>stylist mailing list
>>stylist at nfbnet.org
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40bradd
unsem
> usic.com
>>
>>
>>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus
>>signature database 5532 (20101014) __________
>>
>>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>>
>>http://www.eset.com
>
>
> Brad Dunse
>
> If you want people to stop poking holes in your boat,
> get them in the boat with you
>
> E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
>
> Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
>
> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
>
> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
>
> MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/kajuncutie926%4
0aol
> .com
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 11
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:51:25 -0500
From: Hina <haltaf at carrollu.edu>
To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] need help
Message-ID: <53BBA17D48634CA1B3DC400CE7FDA985 at DB8D43F1>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
hi,
how can i check formatting such as paragraphing, spacing in the
document, colors, font and if something is bold highlighted and things
like that with jaws using microsoft word 2010?
your help is much appreciated.
hina
------------------------------
Message: 12
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:36:01 -0500
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID: <013c01cb6bf8$8fac8260$af058720$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Yeah, where and/or when can we sign up! (the 25th? We have to wait so
long?!) Congrads!
(What again, is the definition of BLOG?)
No, I'm not being a clown, like --- in this case, B could stand for
Bridget's and L could stand for license and O could stand for on and G
could stand for greatness!
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:25 PM
To: writers division
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website
that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness and
diabetes.
I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical professionals so I will
be
blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
------------------------------
Message: 13
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:33:10 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] need help
Message-ID: <2621806A51C94247A0FF942C77563B8E at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hina, I'm going to start from the beginning. Lets say you have a
manuscript, letter or something else that you wrote. When you write I
would
assume you have paragraph breaks in your document that are put in as you
write. You should have all indentations equal. Try this to get your
paragraphing equal:
1. Select the text you need to insert equal indentations in.
2. Hit the alt key. Hit the letter O for formatting. Hit the P key
for
paragraphing.
3. Tab across until you hear "Special".
4. Arrow down to first line.
5. Continue tabbing until you hear , "By..". Arrow up or down until
you
hear 0.5 inches.
6. Continue tabbing and if you want to make other changes such as line
spacing you can do that also. Tab until you hear, "OK". Get out of
formatting with alt f4. Your paragraphing is now set.
To hear about the codes in your documents hit insert (at the bottom of
the
numb pad) and the letter F. You will get an earful about the formatting
in
your document. Hope this helps, Judith
To find out how much your paragraph is indented go to the beginning of
the
paragraph. Simultaneously hit the keys alt and delete. You will hear
how
much your paragraph is indented. If you want to skip through paragraphs
just hit control down arrow.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Hina" <haltaf at carrollu.edu>
To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:51 PM
Subject: [stylist] need help
> hi,
> how can i check formatting such as paragraphing, spacing in the
document,
> colors, font and if something is bold highlighted and things like that
> with jaws using microsoft word 2010?
> your help is much appreciated.
> hina
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 14
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:37:17 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <E77B2B9D875740D39D112505EB4B6B56 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase "Totally
spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I should
be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had
said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished
in the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are
left by her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday. Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this
meeting. A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the
driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the house.
Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
------------------------------
Message: 15
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:29:39 -0400
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <004601cb6c08$6fe5f230$4fb1d690$@williams2 at gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a little
confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love to
read
more.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
To: Stylist
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase "Totally
spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I should
be
using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive away.
But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
at
the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
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http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
gmail.com
------------------------------
Message: 16
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:55:09 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <1C715C8C692A4E099FF80DDE3C84BB29 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
about
the word spooked? Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
> read
> more.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
> be
> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted
> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
> holocaust.
> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
to
> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
> But
> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
> at
> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
> gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>
------------------------------
Message: 17
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:03:31 -0700
From: "Angela Fowler" <fowlers at syix.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <0E796AAB52B3496C94E495769652D408 at AngelaPC>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hmmm, it does seem out of place with the rest of your writing, but is
appropriate to the situation.
If we could think of something which means the same but is not so
slangish...
"Gripped with apprehension at this strange and eerie visit?"
That's not right either, but something along those lines.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:55 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
about
the word spooked? Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
> little confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would
> love to read more.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate
> that I should be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks,
> Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
> had said, "Mrs.
> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
> holocaust.
> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
> to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
> parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good
> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
watch him drive away.
> But
> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
> away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
> looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her
> dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.willia
> ms2%40
> gmail.com
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40opton
> line.net
>
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
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com
------------------------------
Message: 18
Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 21:15:31 -0500
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <SNT139-ds12689A6C8F5467A73D00CBEB570 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=original
I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
more wondering.
Barbara
...
Yesterday is
A path well-trod,
A familiar lane
Through sacred sod,
A road we travel
Too often, I fear,
For there are the good times
When things are hard here,
...
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished
in
> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good
day
> to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window to
watch
> him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street. There
was
> no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her
> bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it with other
> papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>
------------------------------
Message: 19
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:03:38 -0400
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <008601cb6c50$3d7878c0$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Bill,
welcome to this list! It's good to have another Floridian by my
side!
(smile)
Fraternally yours,
Marion Gwizdala
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Outman" <woutman at earthlink.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:56 PM
Subject: [stylist] New list member
> Good day to all.
>
>
>
> I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
>
>
>
> I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
> project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
> the technical craft and business side of writing.
>
>
>
> I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention
in
> Orlando.
>
>
>
> William H. "Bill" Outman
>
> Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
>
> National Federation of the Blind
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
------------------------------
Message: 20
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:09:04 -0400
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <012a01cb6c50$ff9ace30$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Judith,
Check out
HTTP://WWW.THESAURUS.COM
for some suggestions that may fit better! I love this resource; it is
always
open when I am writing!
Fraternally yours,
Marion Gwizdala
----- Original Message -----
From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:55 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
> about the word spooked? Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
>> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
>> read
>> more.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
>> Behalf Of Judith Bron
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>> To: Stylist
>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be
>> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted
>> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
>> "Mrs.
>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>> holocaust.
>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
to
>> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents.
>> It
>> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
>> tell
>> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you."
The
>> man
>> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
>> But
>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
>> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
>> at
>> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
>> gmail.com
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
------------------------------
Message: 21
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:30:52 -0500
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] New list member
Message-ID: <003f01cb6c5c$6c7eee40$457ccac0$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Bill,
Greetings from the Writers' Division! Consider sharing a passage or two
from
your book! Or, hey --- just tell us something about it, about what you
like
to write.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bill Outman
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:56 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] New list member
Good day to all.
I have just joined the NFB Writers' Division discussion list.
I am at this time an aspiring, as yet unpublished, author with a book
project underway. I hope to be able to network and learn more about
both
the technical craft and business side of writing.
I look forward to meeting many of you at the 2011 national convention in
Orlando.
William H. "Bill" Outman
Secretary, Greater Daytona Beach Chapter
National Federation of the Blind
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
------------------------------
Message: 22
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:48:03 -0400
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: "'newmanrl at cox.net'" <newmanrl at cox.net>, 'Writer's Division
Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Message-ID:
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D9271A6 at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Or "L" could stand for lessons.
Shawn
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:36 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Please join my blog
Yeah, where and/or when can we sign up! (the 25th? We have to wait so
long?!) Congrads!
(What again, is the definition of BLOG?)
No, I'm not being a clown, like --- in this case, B could stand for
Bridget's and L could stand for license and O could stand for on and G
could stand for greatness!
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:25 PM
To: writers division
Subject: [stylist] Please join my blog
Dear List,
I was hired by the Omaha World Herald (Omaha, NE's newspaper) to write a
blog for a website they have developed. It is a health and wellness
website
that will be interactive. I will be blogging about blindness and
diabetes.
I am one of the two bloggers who are not medical professionals so I will
be
blogging about my personal experiences.
The website will launch October 25 and my blogs will be on Thursdays.
Please support this blog as the more traffic the site (and my individual
blog) have will mean I will have a job longer than 6 months. *smile* I
would appreciate everyone's support.
Bridgit Pollpeter
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.
net
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
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n%40hud.gov
------------------------------
Message: 23
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:46:59 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: fowlers at syix.com, Writer's Division Mailing List
<stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <BEF870AA8FF447CDAF83BB1C4C1736D9 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Thanks, Angela. "Gripped with apprehension is worth consideration.
Thanks,
Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Angela Fowler" <fowlers at syix.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:03 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hmmm, it does seem out of place with the rest of your writing, but is
> appropriate to the situation.
> If we could think of something which means the same but is not so
> slangish...
> "Gripped with apprehension at this strange and eerie visit?"
> That's not right either, but something along those lines.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 6:55 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
> about
> the word spooked? Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
>> little confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I
would
>> love to read more.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Judith Bron
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>> To: Stylist
>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
>> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate
>> that I should be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks,
>> Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
>> had said, "Mrs.
>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>> holocaust.
>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me
>> to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
>> parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
> watch him drive away.
>> But
>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
>> away from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
>> looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her
>> dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.willia
>> ms2%40
>> gmail.com
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
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>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
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>> line.net
>>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
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------------------------------
Message: 24
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:47:30 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <B14322AE6FBD4B379AB590CDCCFCBF8E at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Thanks, Barbara. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:15 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
>me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
>more wondering.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
> To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
>> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
perished in
>> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
>> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
>> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
>> watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street.
>> There was no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she
ran
>> to her bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it
with
>> other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
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------------------------------
Message: 25
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:52:28 -0400
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID:
<A1A3EBA504582C449F7E37E5039CCD17114D927203 at EXMAIL03A.exh.prod.hud.gov>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Or you could try "confounded by wonderment" if you wanted to be a little
more flowery.
Shawn
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 8:48 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Thanks, Barbara. Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:15 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>I guess if you don't like spooked, you could use mystified. Spooked
gives
>me a sense of fear about the strangeness of not seeing him. Mystified
is
>more wondering.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 7:37 PM
> To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>> be using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>
>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>> inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He
had
>> said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that
perished in
>> the holocaust. This little packet containing a small book and paper
were
>> given to me to deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left
by
>> her parents. It should be presented to her on her seventeenth
birthday.
>> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A
good
>> day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the front window
to
>> watch him drive away. But no car appeared on the driveway or street.
>> There was no man walking away from the house. Totally spooked, she
ran
>> to her bedroom without looking at the little packet and placed it
with
>> other papers in her dresser.
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn
.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
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> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
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>
_______________________________________________
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http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
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http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
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n%40hud.gov
------------------------------
Message: 26
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:11:53 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>, Writer's
Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <031B7683FE2541D9A0FBAF4395FD65C2 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=response
Thanks Marion. Since I'm working on Jaws 7.1, an older version, it now
takes me a very long time to link to the Thesaurus. I just did it. How
does, "She felt her blood run cold." sound? Thanks, Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 6:09 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Judith,
> Check out
>
> HTTP://WWW.THESAURUS.COM
>
> for some suggestions that may fit better! I love this resource; it is
> always open when I am writing!
>
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>
>
>> Justin, there is only one character named Jennifer. What do you feel
>> about the word spooked? Judith
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 9:29 PM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
>>
>>
>>> There are two people naned jenifer in the passage. I was just a
little
>>> confused, but otherwise, it was good and suspensevull. I would love
to
>>> read
>>> more.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On
>>> Behalf Of Judith Bron
>>> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
>>> To: Stylist
>>> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>>>
>>> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally
>>> spooked" and wonder if there is something more appropriate that I
should
>>> be
>>> using. Any help would be most appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>>>
>>> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
>>> inserted
>>> paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
>>> "Mrs.
>>> Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
>>> holocaust.
>>> This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to
me to
>>> deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents.
>>> It
>>> should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please
don't
>>> tell
>>> Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you."
The
>>> man
>>> left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive
away.
>>> But
>>> no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
>>> away
>>> from the house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without
looking
>>> at
>>> the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site:
>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>> stylist mailing list
>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> stylist:
>>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/justin.williams
2%40
>>> gmail.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Writers Division web site:
>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>> stylist mailing list
>>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for
>>> stylist:
>>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonli
ne.net
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Writers Division web site:
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>> stylist mailing list
>> stylist at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> stylist:
>>
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala
%40verizon.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
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------------------------------
Message: 27
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:37:06 -0400
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <190FCB2F78A341CF8F7FCC24EC6611A0 at Rufus>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hi Judith,
Your sentence reads:
Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet
and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
Option 1:
She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
Option 2:
Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little packet
and
placed it with other papers in her dresser.
The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the character runs
to
her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such descriptive word
means
she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people aren't likely to
dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
little
disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I would spend
more
time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
looked,
something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the visitor as
the
character.
I hope that helps.
Best,
Joe
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
To: Stylist
Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
"Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
appreciated. Thanks, Judith
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
o%40gmail.com
------------------------------
Message: 28
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:06:42 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: jsorozco at gmail.com, Writer's Division Mailing List
<stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <34922C3CB6A84735ABA2957CF0130551 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
reply-type=original
Hi Joe, Appalled means angry. Why should she be angry? It was a normal
day
when the stranger knocked or rang the bell. Here is what I came up
with.
I'm interested in your reaction.
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with an
inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had said,
"Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in the
holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please don't
tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to you." The
man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him drive away.
But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man walking
away
from the house. She felt her blood run cold. She ran to her bedroom
without looking at the little packet and placed it with other papers in
her
dresser.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 9:37 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hi Judith,
>
> Your sentence reads:
>
> Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
> packet
> and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 1:
>
> She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at the
little
> packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 2:
>
> Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little packet
and
> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the character
runs to
> her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such descriptive word
> means
> she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people aren't likely
to
> dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
> little
> disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I would spend
> more
> time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
> visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
> looked,
> something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the visitor as
the
> character.
>
> I hope that helps.
>
> Best,
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
> appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
> appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
> an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
> man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
> family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
> containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
> to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
> It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
> A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
> front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
> the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
> house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
> at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
> info for stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jsorozc
> o%40gmail.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
<http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
>
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>
------------------------------
Message: 29
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:23:26 -0400
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Message-ID: <A313E65D1DDA48FAB8B6307C6377B4E9 at Rufus>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Hmmm, we might be in disagreement about the use of "appall" in the
context
of your passage. The reason I offered it as a suggestion is owed to
these
definitions:
1. dismay: fill with apprehension or alarm; cause to be unpleasantly
surprised; "I was horrified at the thought of being late for my
interview";
"The news
of the executions horrified us"
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
2. To depress or discourage with fear; to impress with fear in such a
manner
that the mind shrinks, or loses its firmness; to overcome with sudden
terror
or horror; to dismay; as, the sight appalled the stoutest heart
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/appall
Regardless, I still find the passage very chased. First, we don't know
when
and where the man approached her until we learn later in the text that
it
was in fact at her house. If you're going to spend so much time
describing
her reaction to the incident, you may as well invest a little time
setting
us up for why the reaction is laid out the way it is. Second, and this
might be explained by the text surrounding your excerpt, but the mere
delivery of a package that in of itself did not pose a threat, does not
seem
to warrant her blood running cold. It seems a bit exaggerated. If
you're
suggesting that her fear was brought on by the possibility that she
might
think the man was a ghost, given the sudden disappearance, I would bring
that out a little better. Finally, draw a direct link between her
feeling
and her reaction. If she is afraid of what the letter might contain,
the
first priority should be the hiding of the package, not the peering out
the
window. If her first concern is the appearance, or disappearance of the
man, she should linger a little more at the window, not rush about in
what
comes off as a frantic dash.
Again, it is a little difficult to genuinely assess the passage without
proper context of where the scene fits in the rest of the chapter or
story.
That said, the scene alone feels as though something you might view
while
fast forwarding a video. The overall language is great. My
recommendation
is that you slow down a little and give what appears to be an important
scene the proper stage it deserves.
I am not very amused when people rewrite my work for me, but I can offer
an
alternative version off-list if it would explain what I'm talking about.
It's great writing, and I'm glad you shared it.
Best,
Joe
"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their
sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
-----Original Message-----
From: Judith Bron [mailto:jbron at optonline.net]
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 11:07 AM
To: jsorozco at gmail.com; Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
Hi Joe, Appalled means angry. Why should she be angry? It was
a normal day
when the stranger knocked or rang the bell. Here is what I
came up with.
I'm interested in your reaction.
On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
an inserted
paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange man. He had
said, "Mrs.
Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a family that perished in
the holocaust.
This little packet containing a small book and paper were given
to me to
deliver to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her
parents. It
should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday. Please
don't tell
Jennifer or your husband about this meeting. A good day to
you." The man
left the house and she ran to the front window to watch him
drive away. But
no car appeared on the driveway or street. There was no man
walking away
from the house. She felt her blood run cold. She ran to her bedroom
without looking at the little packet and placed it with other
papers in her
dresser.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 9:37 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question about word usage
> Hi Judith,
>
> Your sentence reads:
>
> Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the little
> packet
> and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 1:
>
> She was unsettled. She ran to her bedroom without looking at
the little
> packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> Option 2:
>
> Appalled, she ran to her bedroom without looking at the
little packet and
> placed it with other papers in her dresser.
>
> The problem with word usage in this sentence is that the
character runs to
> her bedroom. "Spooked," "appalled" or any other such
descriptive word
> means
> she is at least temporarily shocked, and shocked people
aren't likely to
> dart first to the window and then to the bedroom. The actions seem a
> little
> disjointed. If the scene is supposed to be a flashback, I
would spend
> more
> time cultivating the setting. Perhaps there was something about the
> visitor, the unusual time of day, something ominous about the way he
> looked,
> something to make the reader feel just as perplexed by the
visitor as the
> character.
>
> I hope that helps.
>
> Best,
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up
their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:37 PM
> To: Stylist
> Subject: [stylist] question about word usage
>
> Here is a section from my novel "The Letter." I use the phrase
> "Totally spooked" and wonder if there is something more
> appropriate that I should be using. Any help would be most
> appreciated. Thanks, Judith
>
> On her way to the car Sheila thought about the little book with
> an inserted paper delivered a few months earlier by a strange
> man. He had said, "Mrs. Hamilton, I'm a lawyer representing a
> family that perished in the holocaust. This little packet
> containing a small book and paper were given to me to deliver
> to you for Jennifer Rabinowitz. They are left by her parents.
> It should be presented to her on her seventeenth birthday.
> Please don't tell Jennifer or your husband about this meeting.
> A good day to you." The man left the house and she ran to the
> front window to watch him drive away. But no car appeared on
> the driveway or street. There was no man walking away from the
> house. Totally spooked, she ran to her bedroom without looking
> at the little packet and placed it with other papers in her dresser.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
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