[stylist] synopsis

Jacobson, Shawn D Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov
Mon Oct 18 17:34:23 UTC 2010


I don't know how long a synopsis is supposed to be, so I won't talk about length.  I did notice that it seems disjointed.  You talk about Jennifer and her mother, then you talk about Jennifer's problems with Jewish identity, then you jump to Pessi.  And who was Sheila?  I Jenna a town?  I think it is from context.

I suspect that this is a good book, but from the synopsis, I wonder if you can hold it all together.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Joe Orozco
Sent: Monday, October 18, 2010 10:33 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis

Judith,

I'm afraid the synopsis was a complete turn-off.  It's complicated and
rambling.  Although I do not agree that the synopsis is written in the same
way as a book jacket summary, I do believe it should possess some of the
same elements of intrigue.  Some of this is achieved at the very end of the
synopsis, but by that point I'm too overwhelmed to appreciate it.  There is
no cohesion, something I feel would be dramatically improved by putting the
course of events into a better chronological account.  I had no trouble
following the names in the original excerpt, but this synopsis is a
confusing maze that does nothing to tell me whether the story is about
Sheila, Pessi, Chavy, Jennifer, and what's that lawyer's role again?
Forgive the blunt review, but if your goal is to sell a manuscript, I'm
afraid this does nothing to motivate me to read the entire novel.

Regards,

Joe

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org 
[mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Monday, October 18, 2010 10:15 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis

Danny, You make good points.  I emailed the publisher and asked 
what length 
I should make the synopsis, but he never answered.  I agree that the 
synopsis, in my mind at least, should be like the back cover 
burb on a book 
jacket.  Like I said in the email I haven't written a synopsis 
since Jr. 
High and I'm way beyond high school!  Thanks, Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Danielle Montour" <hypoplexer at gmail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, October 18, 2010 12:09 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis


> Hi,
> Hmmm ...  just a thought, the synopsis tells me a lot about 
the story, 
> almost too much, like the mystery isn't so much a mystery 
anymore, for 
> example,
> when Pessy's mom dies.  I would just suggest editing the middle and 
> shortening it down a little bit.
>
> HTH
>
> Danni
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:15:46 -0500
> Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis
>
> I know nothing about writing synopses except the blurbs I 
read in Braille
> Book Review so am wondering if this is too long.
> I sure know that I'd like to read this story.
> Barbara
>
> ...
> Yesterday is
> A path well-trod,
> A familiar lane
> Through sacred sod,
> A road we travel
> Too often, I fear,
> For there are the good times
> When things are hard here,
> ...
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net
> Sent: Sunday, October 17, 2010 5:16 PM
> To: "Stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] synopsis
>
> Hi, The publisher I want to send information about my book to is
> requesting a synopsis.  I haven't written a synopsis since 
writing a book
> report in Jr.  High.  How does this sound?  Thanks, Judith
>
> Judith Bron 72 North Cole Avenue Spring Valley, NY 10977
>
> Phone: 845-426-3177 Email: jbron at optonline.net
>
> Synopsis The Letter By Judith Bron
>
> Jennifer's best friend Randy, captain of their high school 
football team,
> had been with her since the accident that morning.  After the 
car struck
> her on a street a few blocks from her home in Curtis Cove, 
New York she
> experienced herself being transported to a corridor where her long
> deceased mother talks to her.  Now Randy sat beside her bed 
asking what it
> would take for her to go out with him.
>
> As Randy long suspected, her question about her identity that only was
> used by bigoted classmates to identify her as a Jew was the 
basis Jennifer
> couldn't become emotionally involved with anyone.  She needed 
to find out
> who she was and what this Jewish thing meant.
>
> Her foster mother Sheila, having just left Jennifer thought about the
> small package she had in her possession and the day it was 
brought to her.
> A man identifying himself as a lawyer for a family who perished in the
> holocaust asked her to give the packet to Jennifer on her seventeenth
> birthday.  After accepting the packet Sheila had run to the window to
> watch him drive away but saw no car on the driveway or 
street.  She saw no
> man walking away from her house.  Spooked by the incident she put the
> small packet in her drawer and waited for Jennifer's birthday 
to get it
> out of her possession.
>
> Pessi Goldberg's mother has terminal cancer.  During her 
illness for the
> past five years Pessi withdrew from any girls her age and 
devoted herself
> exclusively to her mother and family.  Her once rich family 
has fallen on
> hard times.  In spite of the fact that her mother is dying, Pessi
> continues to treat her like a mother and argue about seemingly little
> things that all girls disagree with their mother on.
>
> In Jenna, New York on the day of Jennifer's accident, reclusive Pessi
> decides to go to a lecture at the school on a Shabbos or Sabbath
> afternoon.  Her classmate Chavy Levy, a pretty but a bit 
overweight teen
> with a great sense of humor, sees Pessi in the back of the room and
> approaches her.  Eventually Chavy is successful in cajoling Pessi away
> from the back of the room convincing her to sit with other classmates.
>
> That day changes a lot in Pessi's and Jennifer's lives.  
Jennifer recovers
> from the accident that led her to a near death experience and 
Pessi slowly
> becomes involved with classmates.
>
> Eventually Mrs.  Goldberg passes away leaving her daughter 
with mountains
> of guilt to overcome and questions about her religious Jewish 
identity.
>
> In Curtis Cove Jennifer, the high school junior continues to 
try to find
> out just what her Jewish identity means while coping with the 
almost daily
> anti-Semitic remarks of classmates.  On her seventeenth 
birthday Sheila
> hands her the book with the inserted paper but, as Sheila suspected,
> Jennifer can't read the foreign language on both the book and paper.
>
> Pessi manages to overcome the death of her mother and take 
her place as a
> class leader.  However, she continues to suffer from an inferiority
> complex.
>
> On her seventeenth birthday Sheila presents Jennifer with the packet
> delivered by the lawyer.  This is the only thing Jennifer has from her
> parents killed in a fire when she was two.  Until the second 
part of the
> story when Jennifer reveals the packet, she uses these objects to
> communicate with her long dead parents.
>
> Jennifer's search for her identity eventually leads her to the library
> where she finds a book that explains her religion.  Her foster mother
> encourages her to enroll in an observant Jewish summer camp 
hoping they
> will teach her something there that will help this girl 
define herself.
>
> Camp changes Jennifer's life forever.  She leaves camp and 
tells Sheila
> that she wants to continue living as an observant Jew.  A 
family in Jenna
> agrees to take Jennifer in.  Before Jennifer leaves Jenna 
Sheila tells her
> the truth about the messenger who delivered the packet.
>
> But that family doesn't work out.  Chavy's father, Rabbi 
Levy, consents to
> take her in and the lives of Pessi, Chavy and Jennifer become 
intertwined.
>
> Before the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashannah, The high school principal,
> Mrs.  Newman asks Jennifer if she has a Hebrew name.  
Jennifer has learned
> enough Hebrew to learn from the paper she carries in her back 
pack that
> her Hebrew name is Breindle.  From that moment on the letter 
takes on new
> importance in our story.
>
> Jennifer is kidnapped.  The letter contains a financial 
section and she is
> really an heiress that stands to inherit a large fortune from her
> grandfather.  But there is more to Jennifer than her identity 
of being an
> orphan from Curtis Cove.  Pessi's family is also changing.  But the
> mystery surrounding the letter is the centerpiece of the story.
>
> Identity questions, questions about religion and growth of 
two girls in a
> tumultuous world define The Letter.  The mystery thread keeps 
the reader
> riveted throughout the novel.  Many of the conflicts captured in the
> Letter are universal.  Teenagers everywhere will identify 
with the pain
> experienced by the teenage characters in the novel.
> _______________________________________________
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