[stylist] creative non-fiction "snapshot"

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Lori,
 
I categorized this piece as creative non-fiction, so yes, it is about me.
 
It was anerexia I had and not cancer, but I can see the symptoms are similar.
 
Bridgit
 
> From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 6
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 12:00:07 -0500
> 
> Send stylist mailing list submissions to
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> 
> Today's Topics:
> 
> 1. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (Priscilla McKinley)
> 2. Re-Introducing Myself (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
> 3. creative non-fiction "snapshot" no language, no adult content
> (Bridgit Pollpeter)
> 4. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (Chris Kuell)
> 5. Re: creative non-fiction "snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> 6. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (loristay)
> 7. Recent Addition (Joe Orozco)
> 8. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (Robert Leslie Newman)
> 9. Re: Recent Addition (Priscilla McKinley)
> 10. Chapter Newsletters (Jewel S.)
> 11. Re: Re-Introducing Myself (Robert Leslie Newman)
> 12. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> 13. Re: Chapter Newsletters (helene ryles)
> 14. Re: Chapter Newsletters (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> 15. Re: Re-Introducing Myself (Priscilla McKinley)
> 16. Re: Chapter Newsletters (Jewel S.)
> 17. Songwriting (Joe Orozco)
> 18. Re: Songwriting (BDM)
> 19. Re: Chapter Newsletters (loristay)
> 20. Re: Songwriting (loristay)
> 21. Re: Chapter Newsletters (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> 22. Re: Chapter Newsletters (Robert Leslie Newman)
> 23. Re: Songwriting (Marion Gwizdala, M.S.)
> 
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Message: 1
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 14:33:51 -0500
> From: Priscilla McKinley <priscilla.mckinley at gmail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTin4ThMR6bX_7wEdkuXJLmneCP--0-gADg0ESDaM at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252
> 
> I have embedded a few comments in your essay, just things to consider.
> Also, I think you might want to consider the organization. You start
> with the wedding photos and focus on one. Then you move back to
> looking around the room. It seems as though it might be more natural
> for your reading audience to come down to the basement and then to the
> room, see everything in the room (closet, dresser, photos on walls,
> etc.), and finally end with the girl in the middle of the room,
> looking at the wedding photos. Then she could look in the mirror at
> the end, moving directly from one snapshot that captures her feelings,
> true feelings, to seeing herself in the mirror.
> 
> Of course, this is just one opinion. I like when stories/scenes move
> from general to specific, from the room and the surroundings to one
> specific photo, to one specific moment in time. It seems as though
> the specific photo reveals sadness that also comes out when looking at
> yourself in the mirror. Again, that?s just one opinion.
> 
> Thanks for sharing,
> 
> Priscilla
> 
> 
> Snapshot
> 
> Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice
> the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow
> brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and
> open-rafter ceiling. [I would take out the first part of the previous
> sentence and start with ?A light??.] The grey painted floor
> resembles hard, cold stone. Separating the basement from the large
> family-room-sized space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the
> wall studs remain leaving a clear view into the large room converted
> into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, sits in the
> middle of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs.
> Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she studies a
> picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares at
> the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed shoots
> sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young woman
> sits upon. [Where the woman sits to avoid ending in a preposition?]
> Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering the beige carpet
> around the young woman.Try using other words besides ?young woman? so
> much. Plus, sometimes it is confusing if the scene is you or the
> picture of you. You might want to build up to the picture at the end
> of the description of you sitting.]
> The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A
> small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is
> twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the
> day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but
> sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see
> relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world
> too. It was a third cousin's wedding, but the whole clan showed up to
> celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large portion of
> family members gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked meal
> of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed potatoes and green bean
> casserole topped with real onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely,
> picking at the food before her, while Uncle Lance, to her right,
> intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother,
> held a bit of chicken mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely
> saying how, "Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding,
> but I guess that is what you are use to in small towns." Another
> picture displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front
> exposing a boney, but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with
> another's, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin,
> already taller than her. Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she
> flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured
> the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the
> right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She smiled
> quietly as, "What are you studying?" "Still music?" and what are your
> plans after graduation?" were fired at her. Years of dance training
> and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with head held
> high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she appeared
> taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the evening, the
> camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent whipped her
> across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another moment captured
> Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he dipped her low.
> Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy heels off as she
> prepared for a new round of dancing. Each photograph is handled with
> care and placed in a tree creating a timeline beginning with a picture
> of Bridgit's immediate family dressed in their wedding attire posing
> for the first time in years, to a snapshot of straggling dancers
> waltzing to the final song of the night, "I Will Always Love You."
> Each picture displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one single
> shot captured the truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with
> the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> [Consider checking ofor present and past-tense verbs. Sometimes it
> seems as though you could use more present.]
> Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and
> worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth about
> herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant for
> public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles the
> picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some part of
> her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a propped arm.
> Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and her blue,
> almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her expression
> contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled with
> restlessness and deep sadness. [Since this is captured in time,
> consider present tense.] Sitting alone, tucked away in a corner of
> the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but the camera
> caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay bare. Always so careful
> to wear her mask. Never letting her guard down, only to be trapped by
> a modern marvel.
> Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual timeline,
> Bridgit looks around the room. A blue "Happy-birthday" balloon hangs
> deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high school and
> college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their red-and-white
> cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand piano in the
> choir room, mouth opened as she belted "On My Own" from Les
> Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy she
> thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around each
> other's shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting on
> Joe's knee during a cast party for Cinderella. [Consider being
> consistent with verb tenses in the previous sentences, either present
> with complete sentences or fragments with ?ing? verbs.] A letter
> pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who
> never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary
> feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world
> thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall displaying
> Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this stands a tall
> bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know Why the Caged
> Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored dresser-drawer reflects
> her image in its large mirror framed by carved flowers. Quickly
> adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass bottle of Miracle perfume
> and the organized assortment of make-up compacts and brushes. A
> Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged on a corner of the dresser
> top, and necklaces hang on a pink heart-shape with tiny hooks
> protruding from the lace-overlay front. The open closet reveals
> clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length to longest as well as
> being color coordinated. Directly to the left of the entrance into
> her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV purchased by Ryan, the ex,
> disguised as a Christmas present, but intended for the use of video
> games. Taking in years of memories and keepsakes, Bridgit finally
> turns back to the reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled
> back in a long, wispy ponytail, an attempt to hide the sections of
> hair that have fallen out with portions of scalp still attached. Head
> settled on boney knees, she wonders at her compactness. Chest,
> stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms
> wrap around just beneath the pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as
> they hold the longing and sadness grown deeper by another year.
> 
> 
> On 9/6/10, James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
> > Hi Bridgit,
> > descriptions are very good in this.
> >
> > I could be wrong but I think "adverting" you meant "averting."
> > jc
> >
> >
> > At 04:21 AM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> >
> >>Dear List,
> >>
> >>Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a
> >>class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot
> >>deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> >>
> >>Bridgit
> >>
> >>Snapshot
> >>
> >>Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice
> >>the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow
> >>brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and
> >>open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold
> >>stone. Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized
> >>space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain
> >>leaving a clear view into the large room converted into a
> >>bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle
> >>of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs. Leaning
> >>against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she studies a
> >>picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares
> >>at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed
> >>shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young
> >>woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering
> >>the beige carpet around the young woman.
> >>The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A
> >>small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is
> >>twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the
> >>day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but
> >>sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see
> >>relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world
> >>too. It was a third cousin's wedding, but the whole clan showed up
> >>to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large
> >>portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the
> >>home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed
> >>potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real
> >>onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before
> >>her, while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed
> >>potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken
> >>mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying how,
> >>"Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I
> >>guess that is what you are use to in small towns." Another picture
> >>displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing
> >>a boney, but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with
> >>another's, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin,
> >>already taller than her. Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she
> >>flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured
> >>the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the
> >>right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She
> >>smiled quietly as, "What are you studying?" "Still music?" and what
> >>are your plans after graduation?" were fired at her. Years of dance
> >>training and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with
> >>head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels,
> >>she appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the
> >>evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent
> >>whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another
> >>moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he
> >>dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy
> >>heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each
> >>photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a
> >>timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit's immediate family
> >>dressed in their wedding attire posing for the first time in years,
> >>to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of
> >>the night, "I Will Always Love You." Each picture displays a happy,
> >>smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the truth. One
> >>solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the photo
> >>she now sits and studies intently.
> >>Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and
> >>worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth
> >>about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant
> >>for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles
> >>the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some
> >>part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a
> >>propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and
> >>her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her
> >>expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled
> >>with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a
> >>corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but
> >>the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay
> >>bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard
> >>down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> >>Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual
> >>timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue "Happy-birthday"
> >>balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high
> >>school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their
> >>red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand
> >>piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted "On My Own" from
> >>Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy
> >>she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around
> >>each other's shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting
> >>on Joe's knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter pokes
> >>out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who
> >>never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary
> >>feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world
> >>thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall
> >>displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this
> >>stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know
> >>Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored
> >>dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by
> >>carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass
> >>bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up
> >>compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged
> >>on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink
> >>heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay
> >>front. The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve
> >>length to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to
> >>the left of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV
> >>purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but
> >>intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories
> >>and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the
> >>mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail,
> >>an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with
> >>portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney knees, she
> >>wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden
> >>behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the
> >>pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and
> >>sadness grown deeper by another year.
> >>
> >>_______________________________________________
> >>Writers Division web site:
> >>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >>stylist mailing list
> >>stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
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> >
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 2
> Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 10:21:56 -0400
> From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Re-Introducing Myself
> Message-ID: <01b901cb4dce$dd073570$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
> 
> Dear All,
> A couple of months ago I made some changes to my NFBNET subscriptions. As the result, it seems as if my subscription to this list was dropped. Since I have not posted here in quite some time, I thought I would send a brief message to introduce myself to those who may have recently subscribed and let others know some exciting news relevant to this list.
> I am the President of the National Association of Guide Dog Users (NAGDU), a strong and proud division of the National Federation of the Blind. I am also a professional musician who performs a genre of music known as "Positive (Posi) Music" and am the Music Director at New Life Unity Church in Tampa, Fla. I am also in private practice as a Certified Hypnotherapist. In addition, I combine my work with NAGDU, my talent as an entertainer, and my experience as a counselor to offer seminars and workshops that combine my music with spoken word.
> I have published several articles on a variety of health and wellness topics, such as hypnosis for health & personal enhancement, the metaphysics of the body-mind-spirit connection, reincarnation, and issues related to blindness and the use of guide dogs. I am currently working on a multimedia quit smoking manual and have been commissioned by a major peer-reviewed medical journal to write an article about service dogs in the health care setting.
> I look forward to getting acquainted with some old friends on this list and getting to know some of the new subscribers. The lists of NFBNET are an awesome resource for networking and exchanging ideas and experiences. the written word is a powerful tool to help us further the goals of the National Federation of the Blind and its philosophy. I look forward to meeting many of you in person when you come to the Sunshine State next July! If anyone wishes to get in touch with me in person, my contact information is below my signature.
> 
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala, M.S., C.Ht.
> 813-626-2789
> Marion.Gwizdala at Verizon.net
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 3
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 13:23:53 -0500
> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction "snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <SNT136-w567252C1B6E6A83075A964C4700 at phx.gbl>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
> 
> 
> JC,
> 
> You are right, I meant averting. I have gone through the piece about 20 times, and I can't believe I missed that! *smile* Glad I posted it here first. Thanks.
> 
> Bridgit
> 
> > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 5
> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> > Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 12:00:08 -0500
> > 
> > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > 
> > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
> > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> > 
> > You can reach the person managing the list at
> > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
> > 
> > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
> > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
> > 
> > 
> > Today's Topics:
> > 
> > 1. creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult content
> > (Bridgit Pollpeter)
> > 2. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> > content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> > 
> > 
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > 
> > Message: 1
> > Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 04:21:23 -0500
> > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> > To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> > adult content
> > Message-ID: <SNT136-w646C2D35961CF77A0F5FAC4700 at phx.gbl>
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252"
> > 
> > 
> > Dear List,
> > 
> > Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> > 
> > Bridgit
> > 
> > Snapshot
> > 
> > Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold stone. Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain leaving a clear view into the large room converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she studies a picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering the beige carpet around the young woman.
> > The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world too. It was a third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan showed up to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying how, ?Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I guess that is what you are use to in small towns.? Another picture displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing a boney, but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with another?s, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her. Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She smiled quietly as, ?What are you studying?? ?Still music?? and what are your plans after graduation?? were fired at her. Years of dance training and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit?s immediate family dressed in their wedding attire posing for the first time in years, to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of the night, ?I Will Always Love You.? Each picture displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> > Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> > Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted ?On My Own? from Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around each other?s shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting on Joe?s knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay front. The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to the left of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney knees, she wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and sadness grown deeper by another year.
> > 
> > 
> > ------------------------------
> > 
> > Message: 2
> > Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 09:10:39 -0500
> > From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> > adult content
> > Message-ID: <201009061410.o86EAjd3005661 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> > 
> > Hi Bridgit,
> > descriptions are very good in this.
> > 
> > I could be wrong but I think "adverting" you meant "averting."
> > jc
> > 
> > 
> > At 04:21 AM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> > 
> > >Dear List,
> > >
> > >Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a 
> > >class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot 
> > >deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> > >
> > >Bridgit
> > >
> > >Snapshot
> > >
> > >Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice 
> > >the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow 
> > >brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and 
> > >open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold 
> > >stone. Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized 
> > >space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain 
> > >leaving a clear view into the large room converted into a 
> > >bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle 
> > >of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs. Leaning 
> > >against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she studies a 
> > >picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares 
> > >at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed 
> > >shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young 
> > >woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering 
> > >the beige carpet around the young woman.
> > >The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A 
> > >small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is 
> > >twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the 
> > >day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but 
> > >sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see 
> > >relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world 
> > >too. It was a third cousin's wedding, but the whole clan showed up 
> > >to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large 
> > >portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the 
> > >home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed 
> > >potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real 
> > >onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before 
> > >her, while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed 
> > >potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken 
> > >mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying how, 
> > >"Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I 
> > >guess that is what you are use to in small towns." Another picture 
> > >displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing 
> > >a boney, but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with 
> > >another's, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, 
> > >already taller than her. Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she 
> > >flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured 
> > >the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the 
> > >right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She 
> > >smiled quietly as, "What are you studying?" "Still music?" and what 
> > >are your plans after graduation?" were fired at her. Years of dance 
> > >training and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with 
> > >head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, 
> > >she appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the 
> > >evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent 
> > >whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another 
> > >moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he 
> > >dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy 
> > >heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each 
> > >photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a 
> > >timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit's immediate family 
> > >dressed in their wedding attire posing for the first time in years, 
> > >to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of 
> > >the night, "I Will Always Love You." Each picture displays a happy, 
> > >smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the truth. One 
> > >solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the photo 
> > >she now sits and studies intently.
> > >Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and 
> > >worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth 
> > >about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant 
> > >for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles 
> > >the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some 
> > >part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a 
> > >propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and 
> > >her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her 
> > >expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled 
> > >with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a 
> > >corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but 
> > >the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay 
> > >bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard 
> > >down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> > >Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual 
> > >timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue "Happy-birthday" 
> > >balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high 
> > >school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their 
> > >red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand 
> > >piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted "On My Own" from 
> > >Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy 
> > >she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around 
> > >each other's shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting 
> > >on Joe's knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter pokes 
> > >out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who 
> > >never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary 
> > >feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world 
> > >thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall 
> > >displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this 
> > >stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know 
> > >Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored 
> > >dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by 
> > >carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass 
> > >bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up 
> > >compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged 
> > >on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink 
> > >heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay 
> > >front. The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve 
> > >length to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to 
> > >the left of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV 
> > >purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but 
> > >intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories 
> > >and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the 
> > >mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, 
> > >an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with 
> > >portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney knees, she 
> > >wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden 
> > >behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the 
> > >pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and 
> > >sadness grown deeper by another year.
> > >
> > >_______________________________________________
> > >Writers Division web site:
> > >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> > >
> > >stylist mailing list
> > >stylist at nfbnet.org
> > >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> > >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > ------------------------------
> > 
> > _______________________________________________
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > 
> > 
> > End of stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 5
> > **************************************
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 4
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 10:23:21 -0400
> From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <3CBC991B5976433C88DD7DB5D71D1A95 at ChrisPC>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="Windows-1252";
> reply-type=original
> 
> Hi Bridgit,
> 
> I enjoyed your piece very much. You do a nice job of conveying emotion along 
> with your memories invoked by looking over the photographs. You write very 
> visually here, and you may want to put in a few more other-sensory details. 
> Does the basement smell musty? Like an old tin can? How about sound--is 
> there a clock ticking on a bureau? Water in the pipes from someone upstairs 
> taking a shower? Is she cold, or hot? Next, I would caution about using too 
> many details, especially at the beginning of the piece. Don't worry--I 
> understand exactly what you are doing, painting a picture, so to speak, to 
> put us, the reader, there. But too many details make the reader pay 
> attention to your words, to your writing, rather than getting absorbed right 
> into your piece and then losing track of time as they read.
> 
> Now I'm going to put on my editor's hat and insert a few comments into your 
> text. Use them or dismiss them, as you see fit. Good luck with your 
> workshop.
> 
> chris
> 
> 
> Snapshot
> 
> Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, (some editors would be put off by 
> starting with Reaching (a present participle?) so perhaps you might start 
> simply with--At the end of the stairs in the basement...) an observer would 
> notice the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow 
> brilliance stifled by the dark(,) windowless, cinder-block walls and 
> open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold stone. 
> Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized space, should be a 
> plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain(,) leaving a clear view 
> into the large room converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young 
> woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle of the room surrounded by scattered piles 
> of photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she 
> studies a picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares 
> at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed shoots 
> sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young woman sits 
> upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering the beige carpet 
> around the young woman.(you use 'young' 4 times relatively quickly here, 
> which needs to be revised. In addition, in your first sentence you told us 
> the basement was windowless, which is inconsistant)
> The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time.(I'd delete 
> modern technology. Firstly, photography has been around for 150 years, and 
> although it's changed, everyone knows what it is. Plus, this is one of those 
> instances where the extra words pull the reader back from the story and make 
> us pay attention to your words, to your writing, which isn't what you want) 
> A small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is 
> twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the day, she 
> remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but sadness that the 
> occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see relatives gone for too 
> long, but restlessness to explore the world too.(you use forms of 'to' 3 
> times in this sentence, I'd say the last one is the most out of place. 
> Consider something like - Joy to catch-up with little seen 
> relatives,accompanied by a restlessness to explore more of the world...) 
> It was a third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan showed up to celebrate 
> the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large portion of family members 
> gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked meal of chicken-fried 
> chicken (While I live in New England, and I've had chicken-fried-steak, 
> isn't chicken-fried-chicken just fried chicken?) and gravy with mashed 
> potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real onion-rings. Bridgit 
> smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, while Uncle Lance, to her 
> right, intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, 
> held a bit of chicken mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying 
> how, ?Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I guess 
> that is what you are use to in small towns.? Another picture displays 
> Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front(,) exposing a boney, but 
> well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with another?s, she stood next to 
> her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her. Her blue eyes 
> gazed into the camera as she flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of 
> the next photo captured the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. 
> Clustered of to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about 
> college. She smiled quietly as, ?What are you studying?? ?Still music?? 
> and what are your plans after graduation?? were fired at her. Years of 
> dance training and etiquette school have (had?) taught her to stand erect 
> with head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she 
> appeared taller than her average five-foot height.(average seems wrong here. 
> I believe the average American woman is 5 foot 4, so perhaps you mean 
> normal?) Later in the evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly 
> as Uncle Brent whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. 
> Another moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he 
> dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy heels 
> off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each photograph is handled 
> with care and placed in a tree(,) creating a timeline beginning with a 
> picture of Bridgit?s immediate family dressed in their wedding attire posing 
> for the first time in years, to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to 
> the final song of the night, ?I Will Always Love You.? Each picture 
> displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the 
> truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the 
> photo she now sits and studies intently.
> Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and worn. 
> Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth about herself. (I 
> really like this) A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant for 
> public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles the picture 
> in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some part of her. The 
> camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a propped arm. Escaped tendrils 
> of hair framed her tanned face, and her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off 
> into the distance. Her expression contained longing, dreams and hopes 
> unrealized, mingled with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, 
> tucked away in a corner of the reception hall, she believed herself 
> unnoticed, but the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay 
> (laid?) bare.(another great line) Always so careful to wear her mask.(You 
> have already used the mask simile, and it's kind of cliche, so perhaps you 
> can find something different) Never letting her guard down, only to be 
> trapped by a modern marvel(not so modern--perhaps simply camera, or digital 
> timestopper?) .
> Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual timeline, 
> Bridgit looks around the room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? balloon hangs 
> deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high school and college. 
> Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their red-and-white cheerleading 
> uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand piano in the choir room, mouth 
> opened as she belted ?On My Own? from Les Miserables (I love that song, 
> although Empty Chairs and Empty Tables was probably my favorite) . Bridgit 
> engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy she thought she would marry. 
> Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around each other?s shoulders, grinning on 
> graduation day. Bridgit sitting on Joe?s knee during a cast party for 
> Cinderella. A letter pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent 
> by a friend who never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the 
> necessary feelings for. (The letter is- consider deleting this, as the new 
> sentence will have more impact) a reminder that some one in the world 
> thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall displaying Kate 
> and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this stands a tall bookshelf lined 
> with books from Little Women to I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the 
> room a butter-colored dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror 
> framed by carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the 
> glass bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up 
> compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged on a 
> corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink heart-shape with 
> tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay front. The open closet reveals 
> clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length to longest (as well as being- 
> consider replaceing with 'all') color coordinated. Directly to the left of 
> the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV purchased by Ryan, 
> the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, (but- consider replacing with 
> 'selfishly) intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of 
> memories and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the 
> mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, an 
> attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with portions of 
> scalp still attached. Head settled on boney knees, she wonders at her 
> compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, and 
> rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the pale, gaunt face. Her eyes 
> (haunt her as they- consider deleting) hold (the- if you delete the first 
> section, you should also delete this) longing and sadness grown deeper by 
> another year.
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 5
> Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:32:28 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <201009062032.o86KWZch013037 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> 
> well you are welcome.
> one of the reasons I hesitated in posting is that "advert" is a verb 
> and not just a noun for something put up to advertise something.
> I did wish for a little more plot but I also do not know what your 
> assignment was.
> jc
> 
> At 01:23 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> 
> >JC,
> >
> >You are right, I meant averting. I have gone through the piece 
> >about 20 times, and I can't believe I missed that! *smile* Glad I 
> >posted it here first. Thanks.
> >
> >Bridgit
> >
> > > From: stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> > > Subject: stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 5
> > > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> > > Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 12:00:08 -0500
> > >
> > > Send stylist mailing list submissions to
> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > >
> > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit
> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to
> > > stylist-request at nfbnet.org
> > >
> > > You can reach the person managing the list at
> > > stylist-owner at nfbnet.org
> > >
> > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific
> > > than "Re: Contents of stylist digest..."
> > >
> > >
> > > Today's Topics:
> > >
> > > 1. creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult content
> > > (Bridgit Pollpeter)
> > > 2. Re: creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> > > content (James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR)
> > >
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > Message: 1
> > > Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 04:21:23 -0500
> > > From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> > > To: writers division <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > > Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> > > adult content
> > > Message-ID: <SNT136-w646C2D35961CF77A0F5FAC4700 at phx.gbl>
> > > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252"
> > >
> > >
> > > Dear List,
> > >
> > > Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for 
> > a class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot 
> > deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> > >
> > > Bridgit
> > >
> > > Snapshot
> > >
> > > Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would 
> > notice the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh 
> > yellow brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block 
> > walls and open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles 
> > hard, cold stone. Separating the basement from the large 
> > family-room-sized space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the 
> > wall studs remain leaving a clear view into the large room 
> > converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, 
> > sits in the middle of the room surrounded by scattered piles of 
> > photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, 
> > she studies a picture. With knees drawn up against her slender 
> > body, she stares at the image of a young woman. The small window 
> > above the bed shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of 
> > floor the young woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the 
> > pictures littering the beige carpet around the young woman.
> > > The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. 
> > A small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is 
> > twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the 
> > day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but 
> > sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see 
> > relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world 
> > too. It was a third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan showed up 
> > to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large 
> > portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the 
> > home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed 
> > potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real onion-rings. 
> > Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, while 
> > Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his 
> > mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken mid-air with her 
> > fork, talking, most likely saying how, ?Fried-chicken is not a very 
> > elegant choice for a wedding, but I guess that is what you are use 
> > to in small towns.? Another picture displays Bridgit in her black 
> > dress with a deep V in front exposing a boney, but well tanned 
> > chest. Bronzed arms connected with another?s, she stood next to her 
> > fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her. Her blue 
> > eyes gazed into the camera as she flashed her one-dimpled smile. 
> > The focus of the next photo captured the wedding party and guest 
> > doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt 
> > Becky grill her about college. She smiled quietly as, ?What are you 
> > studying?? ?Still music?? and what are your plans after 
> > graduation?? were fired at her. Years of dance training and 
> > etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with head held 
> > high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she 
> > appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the 
> > evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent 
> > whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another 
> > moment captured Bridgit and Unc
> >le Brent posing for the camera as he dipped her low. Another shot 
> >has Bridgit kicking her black strappy heels off as she prepared for 
> >a new round of dancing. Each photograph is handled with care and 
> >placed in a tree creating a timeline beginning with a picture of 
> >Bridgit?s immediate family dressed in their wedding attire posing 
> >for the first time in years, to a snapshot of straggling dancers 
> >waltzing to the final song of the night, ?I Will Always Love You.? 
> >Each picture displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one single 
> >shot captured the truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with 
> >the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> > > Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical 
> > and worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth 
> > about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant 
> > for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles 
> > the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some 
> > part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a 
> > propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and 
> > her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her 
> > expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled 
> > with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a 
> > corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but 
> > the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay bare. 
> > Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard down, 
> > only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> > > Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual 
> > timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? 
> > balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high 
> > school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their 
> > red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand 
> > piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted ?On My Own? 
> > from Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the 
> > boy she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped 
> > around each other?s shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit 
> > sitting on Joe?s knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter 
> > pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend 
> > who never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the 
> > necessary feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in 
> > the world thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite 
> > wall displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this 
> > stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I 
> > Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored 
> > dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by 
> > carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass 
> > bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up 
> > compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged 
> > on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink 
> > heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay front. 
> > The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length 
> > to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to the left 
> > of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV 
> > purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but 
> > intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories 
> > and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the 
> > mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, 
> > an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with 
> > portions of scalp still att
> >ached. Head settled on boney knees, she wonders at her compactness. 
> >Chest, stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, and 
> >rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the pale, gaunt face. Her 
> >eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and sadness grown deeper by 
> >another year.
> > >
> > >
> > > ------------------------------
> > >
> > > Message: 2
> > > Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 09:10:39 -0500
> > > From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> > > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > > Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> > > adult content
> > > Message-ID: <201009061410.o86EAjd3005661 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> > > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> > >
> > > Hi Bridgit,
> > > descriptions are very good in this.
> > >
> > > I could be wrong but I think "adverting" you meant "averting."
> > > jc
> > >
> > >
> > > At 04:21 AM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> > >
> > > >Dear List,
> > > >
> > > >Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a
> > > >class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot
> > > >deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> > > >
> > > >Bridgit
> > > >
> > > >Snapshot
> > > >
> > > >Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice
> > > >the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow
> > > >brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and
> > > >open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold
> > > >stone. Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized
> > > >space, should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain
> > > >leaving a clear view into the large room converted into a
> > > >bedroom. A skinny, blonde, young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle
> > > >of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs. Leaning
> > > >against the wrought iron footboard of her bed, she studies a
> > > >picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares
> > > >at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed
> > > >shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young
> > > >woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering
> > > >the beige carpet around the young woman.
> > > >The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A
> > > >small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is
> > > >twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago. She remembers the
> > > >day, she remembers the feelings. Happiness that weddings evoke, but
> > > >sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see
> > > >relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world
> > > >too. It was a third cousin's wedding, but the whole clan showed up
> > > >to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large
> > > >portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the
> > > >home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken and gravy with mashed
> > > >potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real
> > > >onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before
> > > >her, while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed
> > > >potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken
> > > >mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying how,
> > > >"Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I
> > > >guess that is what you are use to in small towns." Another picture
> > > >displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing
> > > >a boney, but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with
> > > >another's, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin,
> > > >already taller than her. Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she
> > > >flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured
> > > >the wedding party and guest doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of to the
> > > >right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She
> > > >smiled quietly as, "What are you studying?" "Still music?" and what
> > > >are your plans after graduation?" were fired at her. Years of dance
> > > >training and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with
> > > >head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels,
> > > >she appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the
> > > >evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent
> > > >whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another
> > > >moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he
> > > >dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy
> > > >heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each
> > > >photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a
> > > >timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit's immediate family
> > > >dressed in their wedding attire posing for the first time in years,
> > > >to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of
> > > >the night, "I Will Always Love You." Each picture displays a happy,
> > > >smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the truth. One
> > > >solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the photo
> > > >she now sits and studies intently.
> > > >Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and
> > > >worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth
> > > >about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant
> > > >for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles
> > > >the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some
> > > >part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a
> > > >propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and
> > > >her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her
> > > >expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled
> > > >with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a
> > > >corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but
> > > >the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay
> > > >bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard
> > > >down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> > > >Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual
> > > >timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue "Happy-birthday"
> > > >balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high
> > > >school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their
> > > >red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand
> > > >piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted "On My Own" from
> > > >Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy
> > > >she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around
> > > >each other's shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting
> > > >on Joe's knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter pokes
> > > >out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who
> > > >never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary
> > > >feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world
> > > >thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall
> > > >displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this
> > > >stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know
> > > >Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored
> > > >dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by
> > > >carved flowers. Quickly adverting her eyes, she takes in the glass
> > > >bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up
> > > >compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged
> > > >on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink
> > > >heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay
> > > >front. The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve
> > > >length to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to
> > > >the left of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV
> > > >purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but
> > > >intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories
> > > >and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the
> > > >mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail,
> > > >an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with
> > > >portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney knees, she
> > > >wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden
> > > >behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the
> > > >pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and
> > > >sadness grown deeper by another year.
> > > >
> > > >_______________________________________________
> > > >Writers Division web site:
> > > >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> > > >
> > > >stylist mailing list
> > > >stylist at nfbnet.org
> > > >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > > >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account 
> > info for stylist:
> > > >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40s 
> > unflower.com
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ------------------------------
> > >
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > stylist mailing list
> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > >
> > >
> > > End of stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 5
> > > **************************************
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 6
> Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:24:46 -0400
> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <85262B0E.AA6C.49EE.9DB6.2EE0AE8295E1 at aol.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-13"
> 
> i gather from the last line that the person you speak about has cancer? ?A strange form, one that scalps her?
> I did some proofreading, interspersed with your text, regarding punctuation and spelling, etc. ?Nothing really deep. ?The purpose of the piece is plain. ?One can deduce from it that the speaker is examining her life, noting fallen dreams, and perhaps looking at the end of it. ?You used your own name, so I do wonder if it's based on a real situation.
> Lori
> On Sep 6, 2010, at 5:21:23 AM, "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:
> 
> From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult content
> Date: September 6, 2010 5:21:23 AM EDT
> To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> 
> Dear List,
> 
> Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a class. Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> 
> Bridgit
> 
> Snapshot
> 
> Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice the following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and open-rafter ceiling. The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold stone. Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized space,
> (Don't need this comma)
> should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain leaving a clear view into the large room converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde,
> ?I'd probably have written; ?Bridgit, A young woman, skinny, blonde, sits...
> young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle of the room surrounded by scattered piles of photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her bed,?she studies a picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body, she stares at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering the beige carpet around the young woman.
> The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is twenty-one in the pictures. A single year ago.
> 
> She remembers the day, she remembers the feelings.
> probably grammatically this period should be a colon.
> Happiness that weddings evoke, but sadness that the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to see relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to explore the world too. It was a third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan showed up to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken
> why not just say home cooked meal of fried chicken and gravy...etc?
> and gravy with mashed potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken mid-air with her fork, talking, most likely saying how, ?Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a wedding, but I guess that is what you are use
> used--needs a 'd'
> to in small towns.? Another picture displays Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing a boney,
> bony is spelled b o n y.
> but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with another?s, she stood next to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her.
> taller than she--would be a better choice
> Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the next photo captured the wedding party and guest
> do you mean guests?
> doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of
> clustered off (o f f, not o f)
> to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She smiled quietly as, ?What are you studying?? ?Still music?? and what are your plans after graduation?? were fired at her. Years of dance training and etiquette school have taught her to stand erect with head held high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she appeared taller than her average five-foot height. Later in the evening, the camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle Brent whipped her across the dance floor like Ginger Rogers. Another moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black strappy heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit?s immediate family dressed in their wedding attire posing for the first time in years, to a snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of the night, ?I Will Always Love You.? Each picture displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one single shot captured the truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> 
> 
> Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and worn. Her gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying a part never meant for public consumption, yet here it is for all to see. She cradles the picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will destroy some part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit resting her head on a propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, and her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance. Her expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled with restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a corner of the reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but the camera caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay
> I think you mean laid bare (l a i d)
> bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> 
> 
> Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual timeline, Bridgit looks around the room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? balloon hangs deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high school and college. Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their red-and-white cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand piano in the choir room, mouth opened as she belted ?On My Own? from Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, arms clasped around each other?s shoulders, grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting on Joe?s knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who never forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some one in the world thinks she is special. A poster hangs on the opposite wall displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little Women to I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by carved flowers.
> 
> Quickly adverting
> This should be averting (a v e r t i n g)--no d.
> her eyes, she takes in the glass bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of make-up compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay front. The open closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length to longest as well as being color coordinated. Directly to the left of the entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a Christmas present, but intended for the use of video games. Taking in years of memories and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney
> There's that extra e again!
> knees, she wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and sadness grown deeper by another year.
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/loristay%40aol.com
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 7
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:23:41 -0400
> From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Recent Addition
> Message-ID: <D09A56E53D6940629EBF4B364B4F716F at Rufus>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
> 
> I think people may have been discussing the prequel mentioned in the
> annotation below. If so, you might be interested in this recently added
> title to the BARD collection. It's not my cup of juice, but I know how nice
> it is to find other titles by the same author.
> 
> ***
> 
> Author of Eat, Pray, Love (RC 61789) recounts her relationship with Felipe,
> whom she met in Bali. He shares her fear of matrimony--but marry they must
> if he is to remain with her in the United States. Chronicles her second
> journey, contemplating love and researching marriage through Southeast Asia.
> Bestseller. 2010. 
> 
> ***
> 
> Joe
> 
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 8
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:47:43 -0500
> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <A157533B0C55422C9C8A6CF12FC68834 at Newmans>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
> 
> I liked the jail simplism --- the wall studs that surrounded the area she
> sat in. (I think Chris, lori, Jim and Pricilla all had good
> suggestions/corrections.) that was a bleak picture!
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of loristay
> Sent: Monday, September 06, 2010 4:25 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content
> 
> i gather from the last line that the person you speak about has cancer? ?A
> strange form, one that scalps her?
> I did some proofreading, interspersed with your text, regarding punctuation
> and spelling, etc. ?Nothing really deep. ?The purpose of the piece is plain.
> ?One can deduce from it that the speaker is examining her life, noting
> fallen dreams, and perhaps looking at the end of it. ?You used your own
> name, so I do wonder if it's based on a real situation.
> Lori
> On Sep 6, 2010, at 5:21:23 AM, "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> wrote:
> 
> From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no adult
> content
> Date: September 6, 2010 5:21:23 AM EDT
> To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> 
> Dear List,
> 
> Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I just worked on for a class.
> Before it is workshopped, I thought I would let you lot deconstruct it, and
> let me know what you think.
> 
> Bridgit
> 
> Snapshot
> 
> Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an observer would notice the
> following scene: A naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow brilliance
> stifled by the dark windowless, cinder-block walls and open-rafter ceiling.
> The grey painted floor resembles hard, cold stone. Separating the basement
> from the large family-room-sized space,
> (Don't need this comma)
> should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall studs remain leaving a clear
> view into the large room converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde,
> ?I'd probably have written; ?Bridgit, A young woman, skinny, blonde, sits...
> young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle of the room surrounded by scattered
> piles of photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron footboard of her
> bed,?she studies a picture. With knees drawn up against her slender body,
> she stares at the image of a young woman. The small window above the bed
> shoots sunlight like a spotlight onto the section of floor the young woman
> sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the pictures littering the beige carpet
> around the young woman.
> The pictures relay a moment modern technology has frozen in time. A
> small-town family wedding snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is twenty-one
> in the pictures. A single year ago.
> 
> She remembers the day, she remembers the feelings.
> probably grammatically this period should be a colon.
> Happiness that weddings evoke, but sadness that the occasion is not her own
> to celebrate. Joy to see relatives gone for too long, but restlessness to
> explore the world too. It was a third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan
> showed up to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic shot included a large
> portion of family members gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked
> meal of chicken-fried chicken
> why not just say home cooked meal of fried chicken and gravy...etc?
> and gravy with mashed potatoes and green bean casserole topped with real
> onion-rings. Bridgit smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, while
> Uncle Lance, to her right, intently shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth,
> and Tami, her mother, held a bit of chicken mid-air with her fork, talking,
> most likely saying how, ?Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for a
> wedding, but I guess that is what you are use
> used--needs a 'd'
> to in small towns.? Another picture displays Bridgit in her black dress with
> a deep V in front exposing a boney,
> bony is spelled b o n y.
> but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected with another?s, she stood next
> to her fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her.
> taller than she--would be a better choice
> Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she flashed her one-dimpled smile.
> The focus of the next photo captured the wedding party and guest
> do you mean guests?
> doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of
> clustered off (o f f, not o f)
> to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill her about college. She smiled
> quietly as, ?What are you studying?? ?Still music?? and what are your plans
> after graduation?? were fired at her. Years of dance training and etiquette
> school have taught her to stand erect with head held high. With her
> confident demeanor and three-inch heels, she appeared taller than her
> average five-foot height. Later in the evening, the camera snapped Bridgit
> laughing wildly as Uncle Brent whipped her across the dance floor like
> Ginger Rogers. Another moment captured Bridgit and Uncle Brent posing for
> the camera as he dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking her black
> strappy heels off as she prepared for a new round of dancing. Each
> photograph is handled with care and placed in a tree creating a timeline
> beginning with a picture of Bridgit?s immediate family dressed in their
> wedding attire posing for the first time in years, to a snapshot of
> straggling dancers waltzing to the final song of the night, ?I Will Always
> Love You.? Each picture displays a happy, smiling young woman, but one
> single shot captured the truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with
> the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> 
> 
> Staring at the picture of herself, her expression is quizzical and worn. Her
> gaze is intent as though she will discover some truth about herself. A rare
> moment exposed displaying a part never meant for public consumption, yet
> here it is for all to see. She cradles the picture in her thin hands as if
> breaking it will destroy some part of her. The camera revealed Bridgit
> resting her head on a propped arm. Escaped tendrils of hair framed her
> tanned face, and her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into the distance.
> Her expression contained longing, dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled with
> restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, tucked away in a corner of the
> reception hall, she believed herself unnoticed, but the camera caught her.
> An X-ray imprinting her soul lay
> I think you mean laid bare (l a i d)
> bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never letting her guard down, only
> to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> 
> 
> Placing this final picture in its proper spot in the visual timeline,
> Bridgit looks around the room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? balloon hangs
> deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from high school and college.
> Bridgit, Tera and Jessica smiled in their red-and-white cheerleading
> uniforms. Bridgit standing at the grand piano in the choir room, mouth
> opened as she belted ?On My Own? from Les Miserables. Bridgit engulfed by
> Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera,
> arms clasped around each other?s shoulders, grinning on graduation day.
> Bridgit sitting on Joe?s knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A letter
> pokes out from behind the balloon, a love letter sent by a friend who never
> forgot her, but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary feelings for.
> The letter is a reminder that some one in the world thinks she is special. A
> poster hangs on the opposite wall displaying Kate and Leo at the bow of a
> ship, and next to this stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from Little
> Women to I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Across the room a butter-colored
> dresser-drawer reflects her image in its large mirror framed by carved
> flowers.
> 
> Quickly adverting
> This should be averting (a v e r t i n g)--no d.
> her eyes, she takes in the glass bottle of Miracle perfume and the organized
> assortment of make-up compacts and brushes. A Shabby-chic-style jewelry box
> is arranged on a corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on a pink
> heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding from the lace-overlay front. The open
> closet reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve length to longest as
> well as being color coordinated. Directly to the left of the entrance into
> her room, sits the thirty-two-inch TV purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised
> as a Christmas present, but intended for the use of video games. Taking in
> years of memories and keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the
> reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a long, wispy
> ponytail, an attempt to hide the sections of hair that have fallen out with
> portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney
> There's that extra e again!
> knees, she wonders at her compactness. Chest, stomach and waist are hidden
> behind skinny legs, and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the pale,
> gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they hold the longing and sadness grown
> deeper by another year.
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
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> 
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
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> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
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> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 9
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 17:49:45 -0500
> From: Priscilla McKinley <priscilla.mckinley at gmail.com>
> To: jsorozco at gmail.com, "Writer's Division Mailing List"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Recent Addition
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTikikX8rkL=scqV4JF22fCxuSGFhyr9g5qrur4Yz at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
> Joe,
> 
> While I knew she had published a second book, I decided that II wasn't
> going to waste my time, as I didn't care for the style of the first.
> And speaking of books, when are we going to receive another section
> from yours? You intrigued your readers with the last passage, so some
> of us are ready for more. *smile* (How's that for pressure?)
> 
> Priscilla
> 
> 
> 
> On 9/6/10, Joe Orozco <jsorozco at gmail.com> wrote:
> > I think people may have been discussing the prequel mentioned in the
> > annotation below. If so, you might be interested in this recently added
> > title to the BARD collection. It's not my cup of juice, but I know how nice
> > it is to find other titles by the same author.
> >
> > ***
> >
> > Author of Eat, Pray, Love (RC 61789) recounts her relationship with Felipe,
> > whom she met in Bali. He shares her fear of matrimony--but marry they must
> > if he is to remain with her in the United States. Chronicles her second
> > journey, contemplating love and researching marriage through Southeast Asia.
> > Bestseller. 2010.
> >
> > ***
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> > some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/priscilla.mckinley%40gmail.com
> >
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 10
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:48:37 -0400
> From: "Jewel S." <herekittykat2 at gmail.com>
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTi=-+iR2UmZMufBRkOC9JTwobT-rfeKqRMiGy9am at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
> Hi all,
> 
> My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> those who don't have computers.
> 
> So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> 
> The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> it to be put in the newsletter.
> 
> Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> chapter?
> -- 
> Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> 
> ~Jewel
> Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 11
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 18:20:19 -0500
> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
> To: "'Marion Gwizdala, M.S.'" <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>,
> "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Re-Introducing Myself
> Message-ID: <509C37D8CEFD41578F5DD7015E5DDE24 at Newmans>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
> 
> Marion 
> 
> Good to have you with us! NAGDU --- what a great word --- set of letters
> that sound --- well interesting. And it sounds like you have a diverse set
> of talents; with the writing, the music, (POSI - not sure I've heard of it,
> and would like to). Also, an article on service dogs in the health care
> area, that could be a multifaceted piece!
> 
> I'll write you off list- put the pitch to you to join the Division!
> 
> Welcome and we all will learn from one another. (This is a pretty open and
> helpful group.)
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Marion Gwizdala, M.S.
> Sent: Monday, September 06, 2010 9:22 AM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] Re-Introducing Myself
> 
> Dear All,
> A couple of months ago I made some changes to my NFBNET subscriptions.
> As the result, it seems as if my subscription to this list was dropped.
> Since I have not posted here in quite some time, I thought I would send a
> brief message to introduce myself to those who may have recently subscribed
> and let others know some exciting news relevant to this list.
> I am the President of the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> (NAGDU), a strong and proud division of the National Federation of the
> Blind. I am also a professional musician who performs a genre of music known
> as "Positive (Posi) Music" and am the Music Director at New Life Unity
> Church in Tampa, Fla. I am also in private practice as a Certified
> Hypnotherapist. In addition, I combine my work with NAGDU, my talent as an
> entertainer, and my experience as a counselor to offer seminars and
> workshops that combine my music with spoken word.
> I have published several articles on a variety of health and wellness
> topics, such as hypnosis for health & personal enhancement, the metaphysics
> of the body-mind-spirit connection, reincarnation, and issues related to
> blindness and the use of guide dogs. I am currently working on a multimedia
> quit smoking manual and have been commissioned by a major peer-reviewed
> medical journal to write an article about service dogs in the health care
> setting.
> I look forward to getting acquainted with some old friends on this list
> and getting to know some of the new subscribers. The lists of NFBNET are an
> awesome resource for networking and exchanging ideas and experiences. the
> written word is a powerful tool to help us further the goals of the National
> Federation of the Blind and its philosophy. I look forward to meeting many
> of you in person when you come to the Sunshine State next July! If anyone
> wishes to get in touch with me in person, my contact information is below my
> signature.
> 
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion Gwizdala, M.S., C.Ht.
> 813-626-2789
> Marion.Gwizdala at Verizon.net
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 12
> Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:51:50 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] creative non-fiction "Snapshot" no language, no
> adult content
> Message-ID: <201009062351.o86Npn1f003973 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"; format=flowed
> 
> yes Lori,
> I too was puzzled by the hair out in patches. I 
> guess because of my training and history and the 
> bleak setting I thought it was one of those 
> self-destructive personal habbits that she pulled out clumps of her own hair.
> jc
> 
> At 04:24 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> >i gather from the last line that the person you 
> >speak about has cancer? A strange form, one that scalps her?
> >I did some proofreading, interspersed with your 
> >text, regarding punctuation and spelling, 
> >etc. Nothing really deep. The purpose of the 
> >piece is plain. One can deduce from it that the 
> >speaker is examining her life, noting fallen 
> >dreams, and perhaps looking at the end of 
> >it. You used your own name, so I do wonder if it's based on a real situation.
> >Lori
> >On Sep 6, 2010, at 5:21:23 AM, "Bridgit 
> >Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> >Subject: [stylist] creative non-fiction 
> >"Snapshot" no language, no adult content
> >Date: September 6, 2010 5:21:23 AM EDT
> >To: "writers division" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >
> >Dear List,
> >
> >Happy Labor Day to all. I am posting a piece I 
> >just worked on for a class. Before it is 
> >workshopped, I thought I would let you lot 
> >deconstruct it, and let me know what you think.
> >
> >Bridgit
> >
> >Snapshot
> >
> >Reaching the bottom steps of the basement, an 
> >observer would notice the following scene: A 
> >naked lightbulb emanates a harsh yellow 
> >brilliance stifled by the dark windowless, 
> >cinder-block walls and open-rafter ceiling. The 
> >grey painted floor resembles hard, cold stone. 
> >Separating the basement from the large family-room-sized space,
> >(Don't need this comma)
> >should be a plaster wall, but now just the wall 
> >studs remain leaving a clear view into the large 
> >room converted into a bedroom. A skinny, blonde,
> > I'd probably have written; Bridgit, A young woman, skinny, blonde, sits...
> >young woman, Bridgit, sits in the middle of the 
> >room surrounded by scattered piles of 
> >photographs. Leaning against the wrought iron 
> >footboard of her bed, she studies a picture. 
> >With knees drawn up against her slender body, 
> >she stares at the image of a young woman. The 
> >small window above the bed shoots sunlight like 
> >a spotlight onto the section of floor the young 
> >woman sits upon. Bits of light reflect off the 
> >pictures littering the beige carpet around the young woman.
> >The pictures relay a moment modern technology 
> >has frozen in time. A small-town family wedding 
> >snapped for the centuries. Bridgit is twenty-one 
> >in the pictures. A single year ago.
> >
> >She remembers the day, she remembers the feelings.
> >probably grammatically this period should be a colon.
> >Happiness that weddings evoke, but sadness that 
> >the occasion is not her own to celebrate. Joy to 
> >see relatives gone for too long, but 
> >restlessness to explore the world too. It was a 
> >third cousin?s wedding, but the whole clan 
> >showed up to celebrate the nuptials. A panoramic 
> >shot included a large portion of family members 
> >gathered at a long table enjoying the home-cooked meal of chicken-fried chicken
> >why not just say home cooked meal of fried chicken and gravy...etc?
> >and gravy with mashed potatoes and green bean 
> >casserole topped with real onion-rings. Bridgit 
> >smiled demurely, picking at the food before her, 
> >while Uncle Lance, to her right, intently 
> >shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth, and Tami, 
> >her mother, held a bit of chicken mid-air with 
> >her fork, talking, most likely saying how, 
> >?Fried-chicken is not a very elegant choice for 
> >a wedding, but I guess that is what you are use
> >used--needs a 'd'
> >to in small towns.? Another picture displays 
> >Bridgit in her black dress with a deep V in front exposing a boney,
> >bony is spelled b o n y.
> >but well tanned chest. Bronzed arms connected 
> >with another?s, she stood next to her 
> >fourteen-year-old cousin, Colin, already taller than her.
> >taller than she--would be a better choice
> >Her blue eyes gazed into the camera as she 
> >flashed her one-dimpled smile. The focus of the 
> >next photo captured the wedding party and guest
> >do you mean guests?
> >doing the Bunnyhop. Clustered of
> >clustered off (o f f, not o f)
> >to the right, Uncle Doug and Aunt Becky grill 
> >her about college. She smiled quietly as, ?What 
> >are you studying?? ?Still music?? and what are 
> >your plans after graduation?? were fired at her. 
> >Years of dance training and etiquette school 
> >have taught her to stand erect with head held 
> >high. With her confident demeanor and three-inch 
> >heels, she appeared taller than her average 
> >five-foot height. Later in the evening, the 
> >camera snapped Bridgit laughing wildly as Uncle 
> >Brent whipped her across the dance floor like 
> >Ginger Rogers. Another moment captured Bridgit 
> >and Uncle Brent posing for the camera as he 
> >dipped her low. Another shot has Bridgit kicking 
> >her black strappy heels off as she prepared for 
> >a new round of dancing. Each photograph is 
> >handled with care and placed in a tree creating 
> >a timeline beginning with a picture of Bridgit?s 
> >immediate family dressed in their wedding attire 
> >posing for the first time in years, to a 
> >snapshot of straggling dancers waltzing to the 
> >final song of the night, ?I Will Always Love 
> >You.? Each picture displays a happy, smiling 
> >young woman, but one single shot captured the 
> >truth. One solitary picture alone shows her with 
> >the mask off. It is the photo she now sits and studies intently.
> >
> >
> >Staring at the picture of herself, her 
> >expression is quizzical and worn. Her gaze is 
> >intent as though she will discover some truth 
> >about herself. A rare moment exposed displaying 
> >a part never meant for public consumption, yet 
> >here it is for all to see. She cradles the 
> >picture in her thin hands as if breaking it will 
> >destroy some part of her. The camera revealed 
> >Bridgit resting her head on a propped arm. 
> >Escaped tendrils of hair framed her tanned face, 
> >and her blue, almond-shaped eyes looked off into 
> >the distance. Her expression contained longing, 
> >dreams and hopes unrealized, mingled with 
> >restlessness and deep sadness. Sitting alone, 
> >tucked away in a corner of the reception hall, 
> >she believed herself unnoticed, but the camera 
> >caught her. An X-ray imprinting her soul lay
> >I think you mean laid bare (l a i d)
> >bare. Always so careful to wear her mask. Never 
> >letting her guard down, only to be trapped by a modern marvel.
> >
> >
> >Placing this final picture in its proper spot in 
> >the visual timeline, Bridgit looks around the 
> >room. A blue ?Happy-birthday? balloon hangs 
> >deflated on the wall surrounded by pictures from 
> >high school and college. Bridgit, Tera and 
> >Jessica smiled in their red-and-white 
> >cheerleading uniforms. Bridgit standing at the 
> >grand piano in the choir room, mouth opened as 
> >she belted ?On My Own? from Les Miserables. 
> >Bridgit engulfed by Ryan, her boyfriend, the boy 
> >she thought she would marry. Bridgit and Tera, 
> >arms clasped around each other?s shoulders, 
> >grinning on graduation day. Bridgit sitting on 
> >Joe?s knee during a cast party for Cinderella. A 
> >letter pokes out from behind the balloon, a love 
> >letter sent by a friend who never forgot her, 
> >but that Bridgit could not muster the necessary 
> >feelings for. The letter is a reminder that some 
> >one in the world thinks she is special. A poster 
> >hangs on the opposite wall displaying Kate and 
> >Leo at the bow of a ship, and next to this 
> >stands a tall bookshelf lined with books from 
> >Little Women to I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. 
> >Across the room a butter-colored dresser-drawer 
> >reflects her image in its large mirror framed by carved flowers.
> >
> >Quickly adverting
> >This should be averting (a v e r t i n g)--no d.
> >her eyes, she takes in the glass bottle of 
> >Miracle perfume and the organized assortment of 
> >make-up compacts and brushes. A 
> >Shabby-chic-style jewelry box is arranged on a 
> >corner of the dresser top, and necklaces hang on 
> >a pink heart-shape with tiny hooks protruding 
> >from the lace-overlay front. The open closet 
> >reveals clothes hanging from shortest sleeve 
> >length to longest as well as being color 
> >coordinated. Directly to the left of the 
> >entrance into her room, sits the thirty-two-inch 
> >TV purchased by Ryan, the ex, disguised as a 
> >Christmas present, but intended for the use of 
> >video games. Taking in years of memories and 
> >keepsakes, Bridgit finally turns back to the 
> >reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair is 
> >pulled back in a long, wispy ponytail, an 
> >attempt to hide the sections of hair that have 
> >fallen out with portions of scalp still attached. Head settled on boney
> >There's that extra e again!
> >knees, she wonders at her compactness. Chest, 
> >stomach and waist are hidden behind skinny legs, 
> >and rail-thin arms wrap around just beneath the 
> >pale, gaunt face. Her eyes haunt her as they 
> >hold the longing and sadness grown deeper by another year.
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/loristay%40aol.com
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 13
> Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 01:16:50 +0100
> From: helene ryles <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTikZgJ0D3jb=whc_FoOvXU5QPd89udPQ_tdVCTTU at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
> congratulations on getting this job. i wish you the best of luck.
> 
> i would advice you to keep your articles varied. it is a good idea to
> interview people especially other blind people for this newspread of
> yours.
> sorry don't have more advice but i wish you luck anyway from helene
> 
> On 06/09/2010, Jewel S. <herekittykat2 at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Hi all,
> >
> > My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> > hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> > outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> > example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> > history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> > President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> > was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> > send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> > on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> > those who don't have computers.
> >
> > So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> > priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> > coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> > do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> > legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> > impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> >
> > The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> > writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> > consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> > it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> > Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> > report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> > spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> > detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> > list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> > issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> > backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> > something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> > blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> > though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> > meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> > notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> > another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> > person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> > it to be put in the newsletter.
> >
> > Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> > to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> > chapter?
> > --
> > Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> >
> > ~Jewel
> > Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> > Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/dreamavdb%40googlemail.com
> >
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 14
> Date: Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:49:28 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID: <201009062349.o86NnS8m003675 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> 
> Hi Jewel,
> my first advice is to make sure your newsletter isn't just like 
> everybody else's!
> our chapter doesn't have a newsletter. we have an e-mail listserv.
> but to make your newsletter different here are some ideas:
> try to make your newsletter local by getting some local history of 
> blind people in your community, history of people with disabilities, 
> or history of perhaps how the government dealt with blind/disabled 
> people there.
> member profile is a great idea.
> sometimes in a newsletter you can do a different twist on member 
> profile: you can do "name that member" where you might give some 
> little-known information, interests or history of a member and see 
> who names your member first.
> again to make your newsletter local, get a story in each issue about 
> a blind person's experience walking somewhere, working somewhere, 
> eating somewhere, recreating somewhere, etc. it would be a kind of a 
> review from blindness perspective.
> you also can include in your newsletter recipes, or jokes, 
> especially of local flavor.
> if a blind person visits your community, have a talk with him or her 
> and put that in your newsletter.
> 
> hope these ideas help.
> jc
> 
> At 05:48 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> >Hi all,
> >
> >My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> >hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> >outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> >example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> >history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> >President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> >was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> >send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> >on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> >those who don't have computers.
> >
> >So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> >priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> >coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> >do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> >legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> >impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> >
> >The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> >writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> >consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> >it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> >Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> >report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> >spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> >detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> >list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> >issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> >backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> >something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> >blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> >though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> >meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> >notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> >another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> >person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> >it to be put in the newsletter.
> >
> >Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> >to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> >chapter?
> >--
> >Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> >
> >~Jewel
> >Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> >Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 15
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 21:26:14 -0500
> From: Priscilla McKinley <priscilla.mckinley at gmail.com>
> To: newmanrl at cox.net, "Writer's Division Mailing List"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Re-Introducing Myself
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTi=4OY=+xaL4j4_X6DZ0LOoT4otd7oOJYT0D3QoA at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
> Marion,
> 
> I would love to read your articles on hypnosis, the
> physical/emotional/spiritual connections, and reincarnation. All of
> these topics fascinate me. I've just started reading a little about
> past lives after meeting a man who described a couple of his to me.
> Also, with a mother who was psychic and experienced dream travel that
> no one could ever explain to her, I am open to other things that can't
> be explained. Do you have any links for your articles?
> 
> Thanks, and welcome back.
> 
> Priscilla
> 
> 
> 
> On 9/6/10, Robert Leslie Newman <newmanrl at cox.net> wrote:
> > Marion
> >
> > Good to have you with us! NAGDU --- what a great word --- set of letters
> > that sound --- well interesting. And it sounds like you have a diverse set
> > of talents; with the writing, the music, (POSI - not sure I've heard of it,
> > and would like to). Also, an article on service dogs in the health care
> > area, that could be a multifaceted piece!
> >
> > I'll write you off list- put the pitch to you to join the Division!
> >
> > Welcome and we all will learn from one another. (This is a pretty open and
> > helpful group.)
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> > Behalf Of Marion Gwizdala, M.S.
> > Sent: Monday, September 06, 2010 9:22 AM
> > To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> > Subject: [stylist] Re-Introducing Myself
> >
> > Dear All,
> > A couple of months ago I made some changes to my NFBNET subscriptions.
> > As the result, it seems as if my subscription to this list was dropped.
> > Since I have not posted here in quite some time, I thought I would send a
> > brief message to introduce myself to those who may have recently subscribed
> > and let others know some exciting news relevant to this list.
> > I am the President of the National Association of Guide Dog Users
> > (NAGDU), a strong and proud division of the National Federation of the
> > Blind. I am also a professional musician who performs a genre of music known
> > as "Positive (Posi) Music" and am the Music Director at New Life Unity
> > Church in Tampa, Fla. I am also in private practice as a Certified
> > Hypnotherapist. In addition, I combine my work with NAGDU, my talent as an
> > entertainer, and my experience as a counselor to offer seminars and
> > workshops that combine my music with spoken word.
> > I have published several articles on a variety of health and wellness
> > topics, such as hypnosis for health & personal enhancement, the metaphysics
> > of the body-mind-spirit connection, reincarnation, and issues related to
> > blindness and the use of guide dogs. I am currently working on a multimedia
> > quit smoking manual and have been commissioned by a major peer-reviewed
> > medical journal to write an article about service dogs in the health care
> > setting.
> > I look forward to getting acquainted with some old friends on this list
> > and getting to know some of the new subscribers. The lists of NFBNET are an
> > awesome resource for networking and exchanging ideas and experiences. the
> > written word is a powerful tool to help us further the goals of the National
> > Federation of the Blind and its philosophy. I look forward to meeting many
> > of you in person when you come to the Sunshine State next July! If anyone
> > wishes to get in touch with me in person, my contact information is below my
> > signature.
> >
> > Fraternally yours,
> > Marion Gwizdala, M.S., C.Ht.
> > 813-626-2789
> > Marion.Gwizdala at Verizon.net
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/newmanrl%40cox.net
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/priscilla.mckinley%40gmail.com
> >
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 16
> Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 00:20:33 -0400
> From: "Jewel S." <herekittykat2 at gmail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID:
> <AANLkTinEq=9TeVjQb+M2qmSLJ2pjf4pGtJK_yzMJfDO2 at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
> 
> Thank you for the wonderful ideas! I am hoping to give the newsletter
> a new spin. Because our chapter president is so busy with legislative
> issues and chapter issues, she never had the time to do extras for the
> newsletter. Then she made a call for assistance with it, and I and the
> Vice President both volunteered. He often writes community concern
> articles, as he is a minister, and his additions to the newsletter are
> wonderful. I was asked to do member profiles and interviews of people
> in our city, then I was Guest Editor, and now I have been given this
> position, which I am so very proud of.
> 
> I love the idea of "Name That member." That will be fun. And recipe of
> the month sounds good...not just food recipes, perhaps, but also
> recipes for making crafts, Braille drawings, and homemade products
> like soap and lotion...I have some wonderful recipes for these things,
> as do some other members and people around the city.
> 
> Again, thank you for the ideas. I'm sure this newsletter will grow
> into a great read!
> 
> On 9/6/10, James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
> > Hi Jewel,
> > my first advice is to make sure your newsletter isn't just like
> > everybody else's!
> > our chapter doesn't have a newsletter. we have an e-mail listserv.
> > but to make your newsletter different here are some ideas:
> > try to make your newsletter local by getting some local history of
> > blind people in your community, history of people with disabilities,
> > or history of perhaps how the government dealt with blind/disabled
> > people there.
> > member profile is a great idea.
> > sometimes in a newsletter you can do a different twist on member
> > profile: you can do "name that member" where you might give some
> > little-known information, interests or history of a member and see
> > who names your member first.
> > again to make your newsletter local, get a story in each issue about
> > a blind person's experience walking somewhere, working somewhere,
> > eating somewhere, recreating somewhere, etc. it would be a kind of a
> > review from blindness perspective.
> > you also can include in your newsletter recipes, or jokes,
> > especially of local flavor.
> > if a blind person visits your community, have a talk with him or her
> > and put that in your newsletter.
> >
> > hope these ideas help.
> > jc
> >
> > At 05:48 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> >>Hi all,
> >>
> >>My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> >>hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> >>outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> >>example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> >>history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> >>President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> >>was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> >>send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> >>on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> >>those who don't have computers.
> >>
> >>So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> >>priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> >>coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> >>do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> >>legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> >>impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> >>
> >>The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> >>writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> >>consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> >>it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> >>Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> >>report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> >>spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> >>detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> >>list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> >>issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> >>backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> >>something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> >>blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> >>though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> >>meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> >>notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> >>another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> >>person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> >>it to be put in the newsletter.
> >>
> >>Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> >>to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> >>chapter?
> >>--
> >>Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> >>
> >>~Jewel
> >>Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> >>Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> >>
> >>_______________________________________________
> >>Writers Division web site:
> >>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >>stylist mailing list
> >>stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/herekittykat2%40gmail.com
> >
> 
> 
> -- 
> ~Jewel
> Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 17
> Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 09:32:04 -0400
> From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] Songwriting
> Message-ID: <C10402EA1A7F493BB07AD2E7772CD397 at Rufus>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
> 
> Dear all,
> 
> I'm glad Marion came out of the woodwork when he did. I have a question he,
> and hopefully others, will be able to answer. How does one get started with
> songwriting? I play piano by ear as a hobby but have no idea how I could
> translate my own invented melodies to paper, nor how to make others hear my
> poetry in the melodies I've arranged in my head. Does one need to know
> music notation to succeed at this? Thanks for any help, and Priscilla, oh
> dear peer pressure that you are, I am working out some kinks in my novel
> before it is worthy of your reading.
> 
> Best,
> 
> Joe
> 
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 18
> Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2010 08:56:41 -0500
> From: BDM <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
> To: jsorozco at gmail.com,Writer's Division Mailing List
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Songwriting
> Message-ID: <6.2.3.4.2.20100907083938.02e65c18 at www.braddunsemusic.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> 
> Joe,
> 
> I am a performing songwriter, as are at least one other person on 
> list there. As far as lyrics go for songwriting, poetry while 
> similar, isn't a lyric for a number of reasons. Often times they can 
> be altered to be a lyric. So yes you can take your poems and put them 
> to music but very likely not as they are now. As for melody and 
> muisic. You don't have to put it on paper as it were. I have none of 
> my music on paper as it were. I will put a chord chart together which 
> is basically chords over the tops of the lyrics which is pretty 
> standard in the indie world and even professionals in Nashville. Not 
> however if you are scoring out a piano piece for a recital or 
> orchestral type thing to be played note for note. I couldn't tell 
> you how to do that as I don't know Braile Music Notation. One can, if 
> knowledgeable in theory, can score out chords to match a melody like 
> Beethoven did, or one can, like most do, apply chords by "feel" to 
> the melody. I write 90% of the time with an instrument starting with 
> chords and melody and then go for words based off the feel of the 
> music. I'll say on the other side of the coin, that nearly all my 
> co-writing has been done by applying music and melody to words 
> already written which sometimes requier slight altering to flush out 
> consistency and etc. Words as well, if you listen carefully when 
> spoken in natural voice, have a certain melody to them which can be 
> used as well. It is both fun and exploritory to just match a melody 
> to certain chords and you'll find it can generate different types of 
> feeling or harmonies within it. Just experiment some with it if you 
> have a melody in your head. If you can't sing and play at the same 
> time, record your melody and try to put chords to it when you play it 
> back. There is no right or wrong way, it is what works for you.
> 
> There are many books and resources out there on songwriting. If you 
> go to my website at
> 
> http://www.braddunsemusic.com
> 
> Then click on the songwriting link, there's an html file with various 
> resources about songwriting.
> 
> If you have any other questions just let me know. Glad to help anyway I can.
> 
> Brad
> 
> 
> At 08:32 AM 9/7/2010, you wrote:
> >Dear all,
> >
> >I'm glad Marion came out of the woodwork when he did. I have a question he,
> >and hopefully others, will be able to answer. How does one get started with
> >songwriting? I play piano by ear as a hobby but have no idea how I could
> >translate my own invented melodies to paper, nor how to make others hear my
> >poetry in the melodies I've arranged in my head. Does one need to know
> >music notation to succeed at this? Thanks for any help, and Priscilla, oh
> >dear peer pressure that you are, I am working out some kinks in my novel
> >before it is worthy of your reading.
> >
> >Best,
> >
> >Joe
> >
> >"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> >some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> >
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddunsemusic.com
> >
> >
> >__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
> >signature database 5431 (20100907) __________
> >
> >The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
> >
> >http://www.eset.com
> 
> 
> Brad Dunse
> 
> Instead of waiting out the storm, learn to dance in the rain
> 
> E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
> 
> Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
> 
> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
> 
> Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
> 
> MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 19
> Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:01:39 -0400
> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID: <BEB18EB2.D527.4B18.84CD.D5E6EA172825 at aol.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
> 
> Some simple suggestions:
> Take a look at other state or chapter newsletters.
> Personal tidbits interest people (marriages, births, deaths)
> Reporting on current and future projects.
> Resource columns. ?These don't have to be long. ?Just, what you and others found useful; one or two items would do.
> Reminders of upcoming events.
> interviews are fine, but it would be a good idea to prepare ahead to have some in the pipeline, as sometimes getting together for an intervew, even by phone, can prove frustrating.
> Hope any of this helps.
> 
> Lori Stayer
> 
> On Sep 6, 2010, at 6:48:37 PM, "Jewel S." <herekittykat2 at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> From: "Jewel S." <herekittykat2 at gmail.com>
> Subject: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Date: September 6, 2010 6:48:37 PM EDT
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Hi all,
> 
> My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> those who don't have computers.
> 
> So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> 
> The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> it to be put in the newsletter.
> 
> Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> chapter?
> --?
> Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> 
> ~Jewel
> Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/loristay%40aol.com
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 20
> Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:10:25 -0400
> From: loristay <loristay at aol.com>
> To: "jsorozco at gmail.com, Writer's Division Mailing List"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Songwriting
> Message-ID: <DB9CD38F.7374.4558.80B7.E6E8FEFEB627 at aol.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format="flowed"
> 
> Irving Berlin worked melodies out on the black keys of his piano, and 
> had a secretary transcribe them into musical notation, and shift the 
> key so both white and black keys were used.
> If you don't have a secretary, I'd advise learning Braille musical 
> notation or print, if you have enough sight to read it back.
> Otherwise, I suppose you could sing the melodies into a recorder.
> Lori
> 
> On Sep 7, 2010, at 9:32:04 AM, "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
> Subject: [stylist] Songwriting
> Date: September 7, 2010 9:32:04 AM EDT
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Dear all,
> 
> I'm glad Marion came out of the woodwork when he did. I have a 
> question he,
> and hopefully others, will be able to answer. How does one get started 
> with
> songwriting? I play piano by ear as a hobby but have no idea how I 
> could
> translate my own invented melodies to paper, nor how to make others 
> hear my
> poetry in the melodies I've arranged in my head. Does one need to know
> music notation to succeed at this? Thanks for any help, and Priscilla, 
> oh
> dear peer pressure that you are, I am working out some kinks in my 
> novel
> before it is worthy of your reading.
> 
> Best,
> 
> Joe
> 
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their 
> sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site:
> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org 
> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> 
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/loristay%40aol.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 21
> Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2010 09:58:37 -0500
> From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID: <201009071458.o87EwbNH026179 at smtp.sunflower.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
> 
> you're welcome Jewel.
> jc
> 
> At 11:20 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> >Thank you for the wonderful ideas! I am hoping to give the newsletter
> >a new spin. Because our chapter president is so busy with legislative
> >issues and chapter issues, she never had the time to do extras for the
> >newsletter. Then she made a call for assistance with it, and I and the
> >Vice President both volunteered. He often writes community concern
> >articles, as he is a minister, and his additions to the newsletter are
> >wonderful. I was asked to do member profiles and interviews of people
> >in our city, then I was Guest Editor, and now I have been given this
> >position, which I am so very proud of.
> >
> >I love the idea of "Name That member." That will be fun. And recipe of
> >the month sounds good...not just food recipes, perhaps, but also
> >recipes for making crafts, Braille drawings, and homemade products
> >like soap and lotion...I have some wonderful recipes for these things,
> >as do some other members and people around the city.
> >
> >Again, thank you for the ideas. I'm sure this newsletter will grow
> >into a great read!
> >
> >On 9/6/10, James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
> > > Hi Jewel,
> > > my first advice is to make sure your newsletter isn't just like
> > > everybody else's!
> > > our chapter doesn't have a newsletter. we have an e-mail listserv.
> > > but to make your newsletter different here are some ideas:
> > > try to make your newsletter local by getting some local history of
> > > blind people in your community, history of people with disabilities,
> > > or history of perhaps how the government dealt with blind/disabled
> > > people there.
> > > member profile is a great idea.
> > > sometimes in a newsletter you can do a different twist on member
> > > profile: you can do "name that member" where you might give some
> > > little-known information, interests or history of a member and see
> > > who names your member first.
> > > again to make your newsletter local, get a story in each issue about
> > > a blind person's experience walking somewhere, working somewhere,
> > > eating somewhere, recreating somewhere, etc. it would be a kind of a
> > > review from blindness perspective.
> > > you also can include in your newsletter recipes, or jokes,
> > > especially of local flavor.
> > > if a blind person visits your community, have a talk with him or her
> > > and put that in your newsletter.
> > >
> > > hope these ideas help.
> > > jc
> > >
> > > At 05:48 PM 9/6/2010, you wrote:
> > >>Hi all,
> > >>
> > >>My local chapter's president has given the newsletter over into my
> > >>hands. She will still be Editor-in-Chief, but it is my job to either
> > >>outsource reports to toher members or write the reports myself. For
> > >>example, I'll be writing an article for the newsletter giving a brief
> > >>history of White Cane Safety Month, but will be asking our Vice
> > >>President to write the report on last month's Member Drive, since I
> > >>was not present. After I write and/or collect the written articles, I
> > >>send it to the presient/editor-in-chief for review and she passes it
> > >>on for e-mail distribution and printing in large print or Braille for
> > >>those who don't have computers.
> > >>
> > >>So the first point of this e-mail was to share with you all the
> > >>priveledge I have been given in being assigned as editor and
> > >>coordinator of the newsletter. I'm really excited about it. She had me
> > >>do one newsletter as a Guest Editor, because she was super busy with
> > >>legislative work and homeschooling her daughter, and obviously she was
> > >>impressed with my work, since she has permanently assigned me to it!
> > >>
> > >>The second reason I have written on this topic is to ask advice on
> > >>writing a newsletter. Are there any guidelines out there for me to
> > >>consider? What sorts of things should I put in the newsletter to spice
> > >>it up? This month I can put the brief history fo White Cane Safety
> > >>Month in there, and that'll be a nice addition to the otherwise
> > >>report-only newsletter, but I'd like to be able to add this bit of
> > >>spice each month. The Editor-in-Chief has asked that I not put
> > >>detailed reports on legislative issues, as there is a seperate mailing
> > >>list for that information, so writing articles about local legal
> > >>issues is out. The newsletter is for all members from all sorts of
> > >>backgrounds, so I feel it would be inappropriate to write about
> > >>something specific to a sub-grup, such as students or the newly
> > >>blinded. I have done a Member Profile in the past on a member who,
> > >>though a well-educated doctor with a lot to say, was very quiet in
> > >>meetings. I did an interview with him and wrote the report off of my
> > >>notes. The member rprofile was a great success, and I hope to do
> > >>another on another member, but it requires that I interview the
> > >>person, and people aren't always available for interview in time for
> > >>it to be put in the newsletter.
> > >>
> > >>Does anyone have some suggestions about simple but effective additions
> > >>to the newsletter to make it more interesting to the members of our
> > >>chapter?
> > >>--
> > >>Thank you guys for being here to ask! I love this list!
> > >>
> > >>~Jewel
> > >>Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> > >>Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> > >>
> > >>_______________________________________________
> > >>Writers Division web site:
> > >>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> > >>
> > >>stylist mailing list
> > >>stylist at nfbnet.org
> > >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > >>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > >> stylist:
> > >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40su 
> > nflower.com
> > >
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > Writers Division web site:
> > > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> > >
> > > stylist mailing list
> > > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > > stylist:
> > > 
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/herekittykat2%40gmail.com
> > >
> >
> >
> >--
> >~Jewel
> >Check out my blog about accessibility for the blind!
> >Treasure Chest for the Blind: http://blindtreasurechest.blogspot.com
> >
> >_______________________________________________
> >Writers Division web site:
> >http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> >stylist mailing list
> >stylist at nfbnet.org
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
> >http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 22
> Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 09:49:03 -0500
> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Chapter Newsletters
> Message-ID: <4A3C9854299B4DB38D959DE42BAEAD39 at Newmans>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
> 
> Jewel
> 
> There also is a mailing list just for editors of newsletters (chapter or
> affiliate or whatever). You can join it on nfbnet.org and the list is called
> nfb-editors 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 23
> Date: Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:22:10 -0400
> From: "Marion Gwizdala, M.S." <marion.gwizdala at verizon.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Songwriting
> Message-ID: <009c01cb4ea8$d2d3a8b0$0201a8c0 at marion475ae1fe>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
> reply-type=response
> 
> Brad,
> Thanks a bunch for saving me all of this thought and writing! (smile) 
> This is pretty much the same advice I would have offered. the only exception 
> is that I don't write my chords above the lyrics; rather, I write them 
> within them using braces "{}" where the chord changes appear. I believe 
> there are MIDI instruments and software that will actually make printed 
> music from the instrument. Perhaps that's a question to be asked on the 
> Performing Arts list. I am sure Kevin Reeves or Cameron Strife can answer 
> that for us!
> 
> Fraternally yours,
> Marion
> 
> 
> 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "BDM" <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
> To: <jsorozco at gmail.com>; "Writer's Division Mailing List" 
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, September 07, 2010 9:56 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Songwriting
> 
> 
> > Joe,
> >
> > I am a performing songwriter, as are at least one other person on list 
> > there. As far as lyrics go for songwriting, poetry while similar, isn't a 
> > lyric for a number of reasons. Often times they can be altered to be a 
> > lyric. So yes you can take your poems and put them to music but very 
> > likely not as they are now. As for melody and muisic. You don't have to 
> > put it on paper as it were. I have none of my music on paper as it were. I 
> > will put a chord chart together which is basically chords over the tops of 
> > the lyrics which is pretty standard in the indie world and even 
> > professionals in Nashville. Not however if you are scoring out a piano 
> > piece for a recital or orchestral type thing to be played note for note. 
> > I couldn't tell you how to do that as I don't know Braile Music Notation. 
> > One can, if knowledgeable in theory, can score out chords to match a 
> > melody like Beethoven did, or one can, like most do, apply chords by 
> > "feel" to the melody. I write 90% of the time with an instrument starting 
> > with chords and melody and then go for words based off the feel of the 
> > music. I'll say on the other side of the coin, that nearly all my 
> > co-writing has been done by applying music and melody to words already 
> > written which sometimes requier slight altering to flush out consistency 
> > and etc. Words as well, if you listen carefully when spoken in natural 
> > voice, have a certain melody to them which can be used as well. It is both 
> > fun and exploritory to just match a melody to certain chords and you'll 
> > find it can generate different types of feeling or harmonies within it. 
> > Just experiment some with it if you have a melody in your head. If you 
> > can't sing and play at the same time, record your melody and try to put 
> > chords to it when you play it back. There is no right or wrong way, it is 
> > what works for you.
> >
> > There are many books and resources out there on songwriting. If you go to 
> > my website at
> >
> > http://www.braddunsemusic.com
> >
> > Then click on the songwriting link, there's an html file with various 
> > resources about songwriting.
> >
> > If you have any other questions just let me know. Glad to help anyway I 
> > can.
> >
> > Brad
> >
> >
> > At 08:32 AM 9/7/2010, you wrote:
> >>Dear all,
> >>
> >>I'm glad Marion came out of the woodwork when he did. I have a question 
> >>he,
> >>and hopefully others, will be able to answer. How does one get started 
> >>with
> >>songwriting? I play piano by ear as a hobby but have no idea how I could
> >>translate my own invented melodies to paper, nor how to make others hear 
> >>my
> >>poetry in the melodies I've arranged in my head. Does one need to know
> >>music notation to succeed at this? Thanks for any help, and Priscilla, oh
> >>dear peer pressure that you are, I am working out some kinks in my novel
> >>before it is worthy of your reading.
> >>
> >>Best,
> >>
> >>Joe
> >>
> >>"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> >>some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
> >>
> >>
> >>_______________________________________________
> >>Writers Division web site:
> >>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >>stylist mailing list
> >>stylist at nfbnet.org
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> >>stylist:
> >>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddunsemusic.com
> >>
> >>
> >>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
> >>signature database 5431 (20100907) __________
> >>
> >>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
> >>
> >>http://www.eset.com
> >
> >
> > Brad Dunse
> >
> > Instead of waiting out the storm, learn to dance in the rain
> >
> > E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
> >
> > Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
> >
> > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
> >
> > Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
> >
> > MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/marion.gwizdala%40verizon.net 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> _______________________________________________
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> 
> 
> End of stylist Digest, Vol 77, Issue 6
> **************************************