[stylist] Ghosts of yesterday poem

[Chris Kuell]

Barbara,

I enjoyed this poem--thanks for sharing. Here's a couple of thoughts:

I really like the first 2 stanzas--they set the poem up nicely. But at the 
end of the third stanza, which has a different rhym scheme--

For in the utter stillness
All those children hold their breath,
Their ghostly hearts are terrified
Of their forever death.

'forever death' doesn't sit well with me. It seems overly dramatic, and I'm 
not sure it fits with the rest of the poem, especially in comparison to the 
4th stanza.

I find the last sentence of the 9th stanza a bit clunky:
There are piles and piles of pictures
Of people you never knew,
And lists of names not familiar,
So don't know which goes with who.

perhaps -- people you never knew?

I like these lines:
You don't want to sense the presence
Of the children we used to be,

I've lost track of stanzas here, but:
This isn't just a building
That was built in days of yore,
To house and teach blind people.
It is ever so much more.

Perhaps a comma after blind people would be better than a period--make the 
stanza one long thought and sentence.

Again, thanks for sharing and I hope my comments are somewhat helpful.

chris