[stylist] Christmas story assignment try again

Sun Dec 11 21:42:42 UTC 2011

Eve, 
There is a poetic form called Anaphora. Just Google it as Anaphora, poetic
form. Basically it is a repeated number of words or an entire line.  It can
be as simple as the words, "As if" or someone's name, or a memorable line.
While not poetry now, it could be altered to fit that form.
Then your repetitions will serve a function.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Brad Dunsé
Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 10:00 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Christmas story assignment try again

Eve,

I did see it about the Christmas spirit, however, 
that does not mean the piece would have to have 
that name. For instance, the song "The Rose," has 
nothing to do with a rose at all, it is about 
love and life.  The Rose was just a vehicle to 
tell a message, that is the way I saw your piece 
and my reason behind suggesting naming it after 
your lady there. I originally thought similar as 
Robert with the many repetition of her name, but 
as I read it I began to see it more of a first 
draft of a poetic style of some sort.  Again I am 
not  a poet recognizing various formats. But I 
saw the repetitions very much like Barbara's 
"Christmas Is" poem. I think  two things make it 
over the top for some. One is perhaps the layout, 
It'd have to go back and look. It seemed more 
prose format instead of astanza layout, of sorts. 
And the other  issue might be the length. With 
some word economy, you might could get a couple 
of your lines built into one, thereby reducing 
the number of times her name is repeated. But I 
did appreciate the style and content :). I did 
get the repetition as purposeful.

Brad

On 12/10/2011  10:44 AM Eve Sanchez said...
>Robert, yes it was on purpose for affect. I probably shouldnt say anything
>as I hate when one has to explain their work, but Mrs Haderly is not really
>who the story is about. Does no one see the 'Christmas spirit' of the
>neighbors who watch this little old lady doing everything, but never make
>contact with her? They are inspired 'by' her, but still she is alone.
>People these days never make an effort to get close and often those alone
>stay alone. The sad thing is that just like it is not recognized in the
>story, it is rarely recognized by the sanctimonious... never mind. It's
>just something I see often and can't put into the words I would like as
>there are children in this discussion group. hahaha      Eve
>
>On Sat, Dec 10, 2011 at 9:31 AM, Robert Leslie Newman
<newmanrl at cox.net>wrote:
>
> > Eve 2 things:
> >
> > #1 I'm wondering this --- Using the main character's name as many times
as
> > you did, almost at the beginning of each sentence, was that on purpose?
> > Mrs.
> > Haderly, Mrs. Haderly, Mrs. Haderly!!! For a story, that was super
> > annoying!
> > I'm thinking you use it at the beginning of a new paragraph, a new
thought
> > and from there, within that same paragraph, you then would refer to her
> > doing something with "her," "she" and like that. If the repeating of her
> > name was a purposeful ---- mmm, gimmick  to create something --- mmm, an
> > accepted writing/reading style --- what was it? (I'm not trying to be
mean
> > spirited in saying and/or asking all this. We on this list truly need to
be
> > straight, yet respectful  in our questioning of one another.)
> >
> > #2 I did like the sentiment of the story. Much of what we show on the
> > outside is not what we show behind closed doors. (Holidays sure can be a
> > time for mixed emotions.)
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> > Behalf Of Eve Sanchez
> > Sent: Friday, December 09, 2011 8:31 PM
> > To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> > Subject: [stylist] Christmas story assignment try again
> >
> > Here it is I attached and pasted. Curious of what your guys' readers
read
> > 'Mrs'. Mine says letter by letter rather than the word that sounds like
> > Missus. Drives me nuts. Is it just my crappy stuff or do they all do
this?
> > Eve
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Christmas Spirit
> >
> > by Eve Sanchez
> >
> >
> > The neighbors all agreed that Mrs Haderly had the most Christmas spirit
of
> > all of them. They often said she was an inspiration during the holidays.
> > Mrs Haderly had to be in her eighties and she lived alone. Every year
Mrs
> > Haderly opened up her garage and took out her rickety wooden ladder.
With
> > many impressed on lookers Mrs Haderly would climb up and down that
ladder
> > hanging lights and moving the ladder along as she went.
> >
> > The neighbors were impressed when they saw Mrs Haderly pull into her
> > drive-way every year with a fresh cut tree that was purchased at the
local
> > charity tree lot strapped to the roof of her car. Many neighbors watched
> > with wonder as Mrs Haderly cut the twine holding the tree in place so
that
> > it fell to the ground. Mrs Haderly would then drag that tree into her
house
> > and set it up near the front window for all to see. Mrs Haderly used her
> > antique Christmas tree stand that caused the tree to lean to one side,
but
> > this did not bother her. Mrs Haderly would be seen stringing lights
around
> > the tree before carefully hanging the most beautiful glass ornaments you
> > would ever see.
> >
> > Mrs Haderly would wrap the posts of her porch with garlands and holly. A
> > wreath of green and gold with silver bells would hang from Mrs Haderly's
> > door to greet visitors. Mrs Haderly would always bake small fruit cakes
for
> > the mail man and the paper boy. Mrs Haderly would wrap these loaves with
> > foil and ribbon. The neighbors saw her leaving these in the boxes and
smile
> > at Mrs Haderly's generosity.
> >
> > When walking by Mrs Haderly's house, Christmas classics sung by Bing
> > Crosby,
> > Burl Ives, and Nat King Cole could be heard playing. The neighbors would
> > smile at Mrs Haderly's Christmas spirit. "She's an inspiration to all of
> > us." they would say. In the front yard, to go with the carols being
played
> > was a plastic trio of carolers that Mrs Haderly had placed out every
year
> > since 1968. It would stay there until the end of the holiday season when
> > Mrs
> > Haderly would take down the Christmas lights.
> >
> > The neighbors were impressed by Mrs Haderly and her devotion to
Christmas.
> > Every night Mrs Haderly would turn on the outside lights as well as the
> > twinkling lights of her Christmas tree. Mrs Haderly would then sit down
in
> > her recliner admiring the beauty of her tree topped with a porcelain and
> > satin angel with feathery wings. As Christmas approached and the nights
got
> > chillier, Mrs Haderly still ventured out to turn on her Christmas lights
> > and
> > inspired the neighbors with her spirit.
> >
> > On Christmas Eve Mrs Haderly would bake cookies of many types. When
evening
> > came she would take the prettiest of these cookies and place them on a
> > plate
> > with a golden ribbon trimming it's scalloped edge. Mrs Haderly would
place
> > these cookies on a small table next to her recliner facing the tree.
> > Mrs Haderly would sit and look at the tree with the colored lights and
the
> > ornaments from years past and fall asleep.
> >
> > On Christmas morning the tree would be the first thing Mrs Haderly would
> > see
> > when she woke. The neighbors would be coming and going outside and
seeing
> > Mrs Haderly's lights still on, they would smile about her Christmas
spirit.
> > "Mrs Haderly is an inspiration to us all." they would say. Inside,
sitting
> > alone in her recliner, looking at her decorated tree, Mrs Haderly would
> > silently cry.
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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Brad Dunsé

""...siht gnidaer er'uoy fI"
You might be a 70's rock songwriter." --Capt'n Frank

http://www.braddunsemusic.com

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