[stylist] Holiday exercise: Tattered Remains of Christmas, fiction, strong language & strong content

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Robert,

Well, we all have preferences, and I don't expect everyone to enjoy what
I write especially since I tend to experiment with form and structure.
Since the lyrical voice style is not as widely seen, it can perhaps be
disconcerting to read at first, meaning you have to adjust to an
emphasis on imagery and metaphor as opposed to the more traditional
forms. Nonetheless, I switch between present and past as most stories
do.

Yes, in the beginning, Trevor, the narrator, is in the present, shortly
after the fight between him and hhis wife. It moves to a flashback as he
remembers their first kiss, and if you notice, the tense switches at
that point, plus I also say that he remembers right before the
flashback. The tense switches back to present as he comes out of his
memory, but the broken ornaments around the room are singled out as each
one is another reminder of better times.

It is all from Trevor's point of view, and it's not told in a linear
order as I move to a flashback of the past, but the majority of the
story happens in the present with Trevor regretting his actions. As he
reaches a hand out to Tonya, and as he notices her huddled by the tree,
all that occurs in the present. Most stories do this, move between
present and past, often using flashback scenes, but again, since I use a
lyrical voice, it may not be as obvious if you're not use to this style.

Because the story largely occurs in Trevor's head, this allows for a
more lyrical style since we don't think in words, persay, but in images,
sounds, smells- though we interpret it with words, we often think, and
dream, with our senses, and a lyrical voice really lends itself to
accomplish this. We also don't think in a linear fashion; our thoughts
tend to jump around and move quickly. Again, being in Trevor's head, and
in his POV, it really works to create a story that reads the way we
think.

I use "you" and "I" in the beginning to make it clear two people are
involved, but I intentionally meant it to be vague as to who the "you"
and "I" were. This says a lot more about me perhaps, but I kept getting
the scene of Trevor and Tonya in the destroyed living room in my head. I
developed a story line from this image, and I thought it would be
interesting to get inside the head of the abuser, and what if their
thoughts were not what you expected? I, myself, found this intriguing. I
also wanted to play on thos gender stereotypes and intentionally did not
disclose the sex of the narrator until the end.

There have been some comments on how the narrator doesn't "sound" male,
which I can understand to an extent, but I also wonder how much of the
fact that I'm female influences this. Knowing I'm female contributes a
lot, I'm sure, to how the narrator sounds. If I were male, I wonder if
the comments would be the same. Really no way to tell now... Smile!

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 8
Date: Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:12:56 -0600
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Holiday exercise: Tattered Remains of
	Christmas,	fiction, language & strong content
Message-ID: <01bf01ccb94d$7e0a8220$7a1f8660$@cox.net>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Bridgit

Good story, I really got into the state of mind that the guy was
experiencing. And here is a question --- you can always explain things
so well --- what is the voice that this piece is written in? Like the
guy, as he is running, chasing  all these deep emotions and memories and
while there is signs of this guy being in Present time as he is aware of
the cry's of his daughter, yet in his remembrance of times past, you use
".... The static in your hand charged through me..." then later you use
"....Huddled in front of the decimated Christmas tree, a bruised ball of
fury, I reach my hand out to you...." (with other references sprinkled
through out like that, like with the use of "you" and "your" he is
talking at her, sharing his memories with her.) Yet when the woman, his
wife gets into the picture, it is in real time and they have direct
interaction. MMm, maybe I'm answering my  own question, his state of
mind in is going in and out of reality, of past and present, from fuig
state to --- whatever. (guess first couple of readings found me not
liking it, that writing tactic; maybe not understanding it.