[stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 81, Issue 17

[Kerry Thompson]

P.S. I submitted that chapter you read at the monthly meeting a few 
months back to Bridgit for S&S. I know the blindness and reading angle 
is only a small part of the story in that chapter, but it did seem 
perfect to me. We'll have to wait and see what Bridgit thinks.

Kerry

On 1/11/2011 12:11 AM, James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR wrote:
> thanks Kerry,
> yes, I think of it like this.  inside my head are these giant 
> oversized wheels and gears.  once they get cranking,  they just can't 
> stop at 500-words, LOL!
> I did struggle over the use of "reprimand."
>
> and you and I are indeed on the same wavelength, Cagney was the first 
> one I thought of to play  the former hoodlum turned great man.
> three ways could expand the story that occurred to me:
> as noted by bridgit, St. Brendan finds out why Sean got so muddy and 
> decides to do something about street toughs in san francisco.  of 
> course this connects more to his own history.  vaguely I think there 
> were a couple of movies in the 40's made related to this theme, one 
> involved boxing I think.
> second, we more follow Sean himself who has been so exemplary but 
> falls into the trouble with the hoodlums again.  however, because of 
> the incident in my story as just presented, St. Brendan has been 
> following Sean's life secretly and is able to save him from some great 
> danger.
>
> third, does the great man have a wife or family member who knows his 
> true history?  his wife learns of the event in my story just 
> presented.  and helps the great man to freely admit who he really is 
> and where he really came from.  freeing him from hiding his own 
> hoodlum past, and in the process he transforms san francisco society 
> and culture.  in this scenario his wife would be quite a hero indeed.
>
> but like I said, in my head there are these giant wheels and gears ...
>
> thanks Kerry.   your Marooner series sure did look good what I read.
> jc
>
>
> At 10:37 PM 1/10/2011, you wrote:
>> Jim,
>>
>> lol. You and I both have difficulty with 500 words or less. In my own 
>> case I think of the problem, rather inelegantly, as diarrhea of the 
>> pen. I once tackled a writing exercise from a book. The instructions 
>> said to write one paragraph to one page. I wrote four pages before 
>> crashing. Mind you, I've never regretted it. Those four pages are the 
>> germ from which Marooner's Haven has grown. But, still, it 
>> illustrates the point. Brevity and I don't play well together. *grin*
>>
>> BTW if you decide to expand the story, I'd love to see the result.
>>
>> Though you directed your question to Bridgit, I'm going to stick my 
>> oar in too. If I were to revise this paragraph, I'd take out the 
>> phrase, "reprimanding Sean." Removing this phrase tightens and 
>> strengthens the paragraph IMO.
>>
>> You wrote:
>>
>> "yes, Dennis Day could play Sean I think."
>>
>> And, who to play the great St Brendan? James Cagney, maybe?
>>
>> Donna's got an idea, there. Another story about Sean, ormaybe another 
>> chapter in a novel? It can happen. My dragon Christmas stories 
>> started out as just stories, connected by being about the same 
>> characters. But, when I asked Robert to read the series, he said it 
>> looks suspiciously like a novel to him. So, if you accumulate enough 
>> stories about Sean...
>>
>> Kerry
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>
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