[stylist] Writers' Roundtable, a chapter for your amusement and critique

Fri Jun 3 19:36:27 UTC 2011

Brad,
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Fortunately, Thornhammer isn't critiquing my
novel ... well, I guess he is looking over my shoulder a bit. *grin*
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Brad Dunse'
Sent: Thursday, June 02, 2011 6:28 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Writers' Roundtable, a chapter for your amusement and
critique

I was right in the classroom there. Enjoyable reading. Additionally 
my comment had  no "six minus two" lettered words in it :).

Very nice... awww I blew it right there with two in a row :).

Brad

On 6/2/2011  04:01 PM Donna Hill said...
>Hi Friends,
>
>I've been going through my manuscript yet again, after some comments from
my
>sister, and it occurred to me that you might enjoy this particular chapter
>without having read what comes before. Though the book is a fantasy, the
>school stuff is rooted in realism. I'll copy it below and attach a Word
doc,
>so everyone's covered.
>
>
>
>Just a bit of background . The main characters are two 14-year-old refugees
>from the Isle of Adiaphora, Abigail and Baggy. This is the first day of the
>summer term and their first class together. Abigail is hoping she'll learn
>Baggy's real first name when attendance is taken. Their classmate
>Christopher was involved in a fight before school. The teacher, Professor
>Thornhammer, is the only teacher at the Plumkettle Learning Center who
>insists upon being called "Professor." He's Abby's advisor as well as the
>head of the photography department.
>
>
>
>Enjoy and let me know what you think.
>
>Donna
>
>
>
>Chapter Twenty-Seven
>
>Writers' Roundtable
>
>
>
>Word count: 1268
>
>
>
>Second-floor-west was quiet and empty when the two friends headed for the
>closed door at the end of the hall. Once inside the photography department,
>Baggy spotted students heading into the westmost of the two classrooms on
>the south wall and followed.
>
>The room resembled an elongated dining room with a round table in the
>center. It would have seated ten, but the chairs on either side of the
>teacher's had been removed. There was a desk off to the right and a sofa on
>the left. Curtains blocked most of the light from the south-facing windows.
>
>"Hey, Baggy," said Christopher, who was standing near the sofa, "I didn't
>know you were a writer!"
>
>"I'm not," Baggy grumbled as he approached the small boy.
>
>"Me neither," Christopher said with more apprehension, "They m-made me take
>it."
>
>An older boy with long dreadlocks was seated at the table on the right side
>closest to the front. A red-headed girl with a big smile bounced into the
>room.
>
>"Hi, Les," she said to the boy, who raised his hand slightly in
>acknowledgement, "I'm Gabriele," she added turning to the others, "I've
>noticed you and your dog. He's beautiful. I'm sorry, I don't know any of
>your names."
>
>Abby recognized her voice and accent as the girl who stuck up for
>Christopher in the bathroom earlier. They all introduced themselves.
Abigail
>sat between Christopher and Baggy on the left side of the table. Gabriele
>hurried to the front of the room and opened the curtains.
>
>"Oh, it's so nice today," she moaned, "I can't wait to get outside!"
>
>She was about to sit down when she noticed another student entering the
>class. It was Tommy.
>
>"Good morning!" he said smiling.
>
>Baggy was on his feet, removing the chair next to him to make room for
Tom's
>wheelchair. Tom paused before moving into place to gaze into Gabriele's
>green eyes.
>
>"Did anyone ever tell you," he said softly, "that you have gorgeous eyes?"
>
>She blushed and finally managed to say, "I'm Gabriele and this is Lester
>Fields."
>
>She was about to introduce the others, when she stopped in mid sentence.
>Abby heard heavy booted steps and looked back.
>
>"Hi Laurel," said Gabriele, "We're all just getting acquainted."
>
>"Excellent," said the girl with a cheerful though mischievous smile. She
was
>dressed in jeans and a blue work shirt, her shoulder-length brown hair tied
>back with a Plumkettle kerchief, "I'm Laurel Hall. I like your dog."
>
>After greeting Tom, Baggy and Christopher, she sat next to Les, and the two
>began talking quietly.
>
>Thornhammer arrived a few minutes late wearing his usual black jeans and
>shirt. He strode to the front of the room without looking at them and
closed
>the curtains. He placed a stack of papers on the desk. Pacing back and
>forth, he introduced himself to the class. He did not, to Abigail's
chagrin,
>take attendance.
>
>"This is Writers' Roundtable and I am Professor Thornhammer. Mr. Fields,"
he
>said, nodding to Les, "Miss Hall, Miss Stein, you have all been in my class
>before. For the rest of you" -- he looked to his right unsmiling and his
>gaze rested on Christopher -- "This course is designed not only to help you
>refine the craft of writing, but to help you develop a backbone about what
>you do write. All of you" -- he looked around at each of them -- "are from
>Adiaphora, and as such I'm assuming that you have experienced the world in
a
>more poignant fashion than most Plumkettle students, who have come to us
>from more, shall we say, settled backgrounds." After pausing to allow them
>to absorb this information, he resumed his pacing and continued, "Now, "Who
>can tell us what the first form of literature was?"
>
>  "Comic books," whispered Baggy.  Everyone heard and everyone giggled,
>accept Thornhammer who shot him a dirty look.
>
>"Anyone else?" he continued.
>
>Lester raised his hand slightly and said without waiting, "Poetry."
>
>  "Precisely," said Thornhammer taking his seat at the head of the table,"
We
>traditionally begin our classes with quotes about writing from respected
>historical figures. Mr. Fields, if you would get us started."
>
>Abby felt her heart race in anticipation of reading her own quote. She
could
>hear Christopher squirming in his seat. Lester Fields showed no emotion as
>he opened a spiral notebook.
>
>"Yes, it would be my pleasure" he began in a strong calm voice, "This is
>from a preface to Lyrical Ballads by the father of the Romantic era of
>British poetry, William Wordsworth.  'All good poetry is the spontaneous
>overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected
>in tranquility.'."
>
>After a dramatic pause during which Abigail supposed that they were to
>reflect on Lester's quote, Thornhammer called on Christopher. He fumbled
>with his papers and coughed before proceeding in a faint voice.
>
>"A p-poet's work," he said before coughing again, "is to n-name the
>unnamable, to point at fr-frauds, to, to take sides, st-start arguments,
>shape the world, and stop it going to.to  sleep."
>
>"By?" Thornhammer prompted.
>
>"S-Salman ruh-Rushdie."
>
>"And, Miss Jones?"
>
>Abigail's body jerked involuntarily. She had been sidetracked by the
>alarming, almost militant view of poetry in Christopher's quote.
>
>"The ancient Greek philosopher Plato," she said, struggling to refocus on
>the task at hand, "wrote, 'Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than
>history.'"
>
>"Thank you," said Thornhammer getting to his feet and pacing, "History
tells
>us what people did; poetry tells us how they felt about it.
>
>Abigail fumbled in her pack and hurriedly set her digital book player to
>record. What followed was a lecture on poetic forms and imagery.
>
>"Now," Thornhammer concluded, "for your first assignment, due next Tuesday,
>you will each write a poem-"
>
>Baggy, who hated poetry, groaned. This caused Abigail and Tommy much
>consternation as they attempted to stifle giggles.
>
>"I don't care what type of poetry it is," Thornhammer continued, "You can
>write us a sonnet, free verse, a limerick, a haiku.whatever form of poetry
>strikes your fancy.  What I do care about is that it means something to
you,
>that it doesn't take up more than one page, and" -- he paused to pick up
the
>stack of papers from the desk -- "that you avoid using" -- he gestured with
>the papers -- "any of these words."
>
>As Thornhammer handed out the papers, Gabriele whispered, "He has a list of
>words that he's banned."
>
>  "Take a moment to familiarize yourselves with this list.  I will not
>tolerate the use of these words in this class, not on paper and not in
>conversation."
>
>When he reached Abby, Thornhammer pressed a stiff card into her hand. She
>fumbled with the card and after getting the Braille right-side up, read,
>"Professor Thornhammer's Banned Four-Letter Words." Her heart raced in
>anticipation of the words he might have included, but the list was a simple
>one: Like, Sure, very, fine and just.
>
>"Ooo!" said Gabriele, "there's a new one."
>
>"Just?" whispered Laurel.
>
>"For you in particular, Miss Hall," Thornhammer replied sternly.
>
>Abby puzzled over the words trying to reason out why they would be banned.
>She understood that some kids said, "like" incessantly, but thought the
word
>had legitimate uses and wanted to demonstrate her awareness of this fact.
>
>"But, sir," she began, and Thornhammer turned to face her, "Isn't l- . I
>mean this first one an accepted way of introducing a simile?"
>
>Thornhammer did not answer immediately, giving Abby a moment to savor the
>possibility that he was about to praise her.
>
>"Not," he said at last with heavy finality, "in this class."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>=======
>Email scanned by PC Tools - No viruses or spyware found.
>(Email Guard: 7.0.0.21, Virus/Spyware Database: 6.17650)
>http://www.pctools.com/
>=======
>
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
>signature database 6175 (20110602) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
>
>
>
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddunsem
usic.com
>
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
>signature database 6175 (20110602) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com

Brad Dunse

The naive believes everything, But the sensible man considers his 
steps.--Proverbs

http://www.braddunsemusic.com

http://www.facebook.com/braddunse

http://www.twitter.com/braddunse

_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>

stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.ne
t

=======
Email scanned by PC Tools - No viruses or spyware found.
(Email Guard: 7.0.0.21, Virus/Spyware Database: 6.17650)
http://www.pctools.com/
=======

=======
Email scanned by PC Tools - No viruses or spyware found.
(Email Guard: 7.0.0.21, Virus/Spyware Database: 6.17660)
http://www.pctools.com/
=======