[stylist] Haiku song lyrics

Thu Jun 16 18:11:39 UTC 2011

I enjoyed the poem/song.  I really can't think of anything to change now.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Donna Hill
Sent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 2:02 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Haiku song lyrics

Hi Barbara,
Since several people have weighed in by now, I'll comment. First, poetry is
so personal for the reader, that whatever you get out of it is -- by the
nature of art itself -- true. I would say that it is about dealing with
sustained struggle, frustration and humiliation. In terms of tomorrow being
a better day, I would say that isn't quite how I see it. It's more that the
subject will, despite the weariness, be trying again.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 3:59 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Haiku song lyrics

Is it about being hurt by someone--or something--and tomorrow will be a 
better day?
Barbara

Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay 
any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose 
any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John 
F. Kennedy
-----Original Message----- 
From: Donna Hill
Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:50 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Haiku song lyrics

Hmm, not sure what doesn't make sense. I could tell you what it means to me,
but I'd rather wait to see if others are having a similar response.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Monday, June 13, 2011 9:17 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Haiku song lyrics

I like it but I'm confused.  What does it mean?
Barbara

Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay
any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose
any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John
F. Kennedy
-----Original Message----- 
From: Donna Hill
Sent: Monday, June 13, 2011 12:49 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: [stylist] Haiku song lyrics

Hi Friends,

I probably should have waited till November to pull this one out, but since
we've been discussing Haiku and who knows where any of us will be in
November, I thought I'd share it now. There are three verses of 2 Haiku
each. Each verse is followed by a bridge which is one Haiku and a 5 syllable
refrain. You'll notice that I have employed a rhyme structure that ties the
verse Haiku to each other and the bridges to each other, though the
individual Haiku don't rhyme internally.

I don't consider it perfect or done, so if you have any thoughts, please
share.

Donna

Under These Gray Skies

By Donna W. Hill

1

Under these gray skies

I bow down to November

Holding out my wings

Even though I try

I can't seem to remember

Why the caged bird sings

O, Lord, forgive me

I was once your beloved

Don't you still know me?

Under these gray skies.

2

Under these gray skies

I've been waiting forever

For the seas to part

Promises and lies

Thwarting every endeavor

Of this weary heart

Stung by the salt spray,

I pour over my failures

Who could pardon me?

Under these gray skies.

3

Under these gray skies

Nighttime closes around me

As the winds subside

Feeble alibis

Serving just to confound me

and my starless guide

Morning will find me

Reaching to the horizon

Where the wild birds fly

Under these gray skies

###

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