[stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11

Thu May 12 03:02:50 UTC 2011

Donna,

I'm glad I sent my, as it seemed to me, rambling and rather incoherent 
response, since it prompted your very eloquent one. Thank you.

Kerry

On 5/11/2011 7:06 PM, Donna Hill wrote:
> Hi Kerry,
> Good points. I wonder where such a story would lead? In my family, there are
> three blind people with different choices for mobility. I use a guide dog;
> my brother and sister-in-law use canes. We all occasionally go sighted guide
> for one reason or another. Between guide dogs, I use a cane.
>
> We are accepting of one another's choices. My brother often jokes that when
> they start training beagles, he'll get a guide dog. Once when I questioned
> him about his choice many years ago, he took a long sigh and said, "Donna,
> do you see this cane? When I come home from work, I hang it on the back of
> the door, and it doesn't bother me for the rest of the night." His comments
> opened my eyes to the fact that people, even those who genuinely love dogs,
> have a variety of reasons for the choices they make.
>
> I used to think he was less independent than I, because I could tell my dog
> to take me to the bank or store or post office or whatever, and he can't do
> that with his cane. For a time, he would actually say unprovoked that I was
> more independent than he was, but it wasn't true. He had chosen a career
> path that took him to the same address every day; I had chosen one that
> required me to travel and rarely return to the same location. My increased
> mobility had nothing to do with my ability or his lack of it. If he had
> chosen a different path, he would have accomplished his goals as a cane
> user.
>
> My brother and sister-in-law know that I love the whole "having a dog"
> thing; they also know that I have and can use a cane -- even if I have named
> it Bielsebub. Nowadays, with me living in the middle of nowhere and totally
> dependent on sighted people to drive me to town, there's no doubt in my mind
> that their choice of staying in the city has allowed them to be more
> independent.
>
> In my opinion, the reason behind the lack of support which is shown to
> people who have made different choices is rooted in the residual discomfort
> they have with their own blindness. I don't exclude myself from this. With
> people being born blind and losing vision gradually or suddenly at every
> stage of life, the adjustment and ability to thrive is on a continuum. We
> have all experienced discrimination and in many cases countless
> humiliations. Our abilities to fully overcome these is affected by many
> things. We're lucky to occasionally find someone who is on the same section
> of the road as we are.
>
> I think that, when you are receiving flack for going sighted guide, it has
> more to do with the judger's lack of independence than your own -- and I
> mean mental independence here. Bridgit's story about getting flack for
> holding hands with her husband is a rather poignant case in point.
>
> The public perception is largely negative about the ability of blind people
> to be, act, travel or whatever independently. Fighting against this causes
> some of us to categorize other blind people who choose to use a different
> form of mobility as a manifestation of the social stereotype. While it would
> be great for our cause if we could all stand up as one -- equally
> independent, equally well-adjusted, equally successful by the world's and
> our own standards and so on -- that's not realistic. It's not Bridgit's
> responsibility to make sure every time anyone sees her and her husband in
> public it is obvious that each can travel independently. Similarly, it's not
> your responsibility to refrain from going sighted guide just so no
> prejudiced sighted person looks at you and thinks that blind people "can't
> travel independently." It's also not my job to leave my dog home because
> someone at a restaurant might not be comfortable with a dog.
>
> Donna
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Kerry Thompson
> Sent: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 2:13 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
>
> Hi friends,
>
> In my limited experience, cane users are often smug and self-righteous,
> as the letter writer seems to be, contemptuous of dog users.
>
> To say, for example, that no independent travel occurs in the scenario
> described makes no sense at all. Even if the cab draws right up to the
> door of the house, it can't draw right up to the door of the restaurant.
> The traveler has to make his way across the sidewalk and find the door
> of the restaurant. The sidewalk may well be crowded and the cab driver
> might or might not be willing to assist. Then, as Bridgid points out,
> inside the restaurant the traveler might need to go to  the restroom or
> (showing my age here) use the pay phone. While the traveler's dinner
> companion or a member of the wait staff might be willing or able to
> guide the traveler, surely being able to make such excursions
> independently would be preferable.
> Then, at the end of the evening, as Marion points out, the traveler may
> not go straight home.
>
> I don't understand the letter writer's attitude. No matter how you look
> at it, the traveler's guide dog is just as necessary to him in the given
> scenario as a cane user's cane would be to him in the same situation.
> But the letter writer's tone if not perhaps his actual words certainly
> seem to imply that a guide dog user is not independent. This is the
> attitude I've often seen coming from cane users. And yet, as everyone
> here agrees, guide dog use and cane use, and even reliance on a sighted
> guide, are all equally valid methods of travel. Which one any given
> person chooses depends on the traveler's disposition and needs and, as
> Marion and Bridgid each note, on the immediate circumstances.
>
> But, you know, it's a funny thing. Dog users seem in general to be open
> to cane use, while cane users seem all too often to be contemptuous of
> dog use. It reminds me of a situation in fandom. People who love
> Engelbert Humperdink often also like Tom Jones. But Tom Jones fans are
> often hostile to Engelbert. The two situations make just about as much,
> which is to say as little, sense.
>
> I wonder... Has anyone ever written a story exploring the conflict, for
> lack of a more precise word, between cane advocates and dog advocates?
>
> And BTW as a matter of interest, why do both camps look down on those of
> us who use sighted guides? I have never felt that leaning on a friend's
> or family member's arm diminishes me as a human being.
>
> Kerry
>
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