[stylist] Since we apparently don't get the difference between harping and explaining

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I'm tired of defending myself to someone who constantly accuses me of
being close-minded and not listening to other's opinions.  I want to
clear my name and then I'm done exchanging ideas and opinions with those
who misinterpret everything.

You said I was essentially pointing a finger at you and making claims,
like the canes on airplanes example, about what you believe and don't
believe.  You say I won't drop your former position, but I was not
trying to spotlight any of your positions in my last post.

My only mission was to explain that I was addressing your post as
written and not taking the discussion to a personal level.  My intention
was not to address your earlier post, but to explain that I was not
personally attacking you.

I am caving to the bait here, I admit, but I'm tired of being told I'm
harping and refusing to get off my soapbox when I was not even
addressing your argument.  I meant to defend my position and to extend
an olive branch to you, but apparently this alluded you.

Sorry if I offended you, but I don't know how to make myself any
clearer.  I reached out in comradorie only to be met with a combative
attitude.  Yes, I brought points up in an attempt to explain why I made
an argument, but I was not trying to reiterate what you said, and I in
fact tried to bring this specific discussion to an end and agree to
respect each other even if we may disagree at times.

So now I'm done.  You may have your soapbox back now, Judith.

Bridgit

Message: 9
Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 19:55:54 -0400
From: Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net>
To: Writer's Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Canes and Dogs
Message-ID: <6E3484DDD73348039D9879B5EEDBA105 at dell5150>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=iso-8859-1;
	reply-type=original

Bridget, Last night I had a discussion about this with my husband.  He 
corrected some of my points and said that a blind person who uses a
guide 
dog can take their dog where ever they want.  I sent an email saying
that I 
stand corrected.  After admitting this to the list what pleasure are you

getting out of continually harping on someone's wrong opinion?  Perhaps
I 
look at taking a guide dog somewhere in the same way I evaluated where I

took my pet dog.  That is obviously etiquette and manners and I
erroneously 
applied those same criteria to guide dogs.  How many times and in how
many 
ways do you want me to reiterate I staned corrected before you can get
off 
the soap box and stop addressing me in your opinions on the topic?
Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 7:03 PM
Subject: [stylist] Canes and Dogs


> Judith,
>
> I never said you did or did not agree with anything, I just addressed
> your argument and the way it was portrayed.
>
> You seem to be the only one pulling examples into this discussion that
> fly out of left field.  Screaming bigots in Times Square, crying
> children in public places and now airport security "molesting babies."
> It just seems like these comments are a stretch.
>
> Again, I guess I need to spell everything out so I'm not wrongly
accused
> of anything.  I'm addressing arguments you made here and not you as a
> person, or what your intentions are.  I'm simply responding to your
> comments and how I perceive them.
>
> You said it is inappropriate to take a guide dog in certain
situations.
> I merely made a rebuttal stating that no one has a legal right to deny
a
> guide dog in public places.
>
> I also tried to explain how denying a blind person access to a public
> place because of a guide dog is illegal and discriminatory just like
if
> a person was denied access based on ethnicity.
>
> And I said your argument, not you, your argument, paralleled those who
> insist cane users can not take their canes onto a plane.  Being a cane
> user yourself, I assumed you do not believe this, but based on your
> argument made here, it can be said that it is the same as being denied
> use of your cane.
>
> I think a lot of misunderstandings on Stylist are because of word
choice
> and how tone is conveyed, but also, some of us take comments out of
> context and interpret them wrongly to be personal attacks, or just
> simply do not understand the argument being made.
>
> I do not know you as a person beyond what you say on this list.  I can
> respond, and react, to comments you make, but I try to not attack
anyone
> as an individual.  This is unfair, and knowing how it feels to be
judged
> without someone learning who you are, I do not like to make personal
> attacks.
>
> I did not address your personal life; I did not attack your work or
> character; I did not insinuate you are close-minded and do not afford
> others their opinions.  A public discussion will have agreements and
> disagreements, and disagreements, even if made with passion, are not
> automatic judgments on a person's character.
>
> So please do not interpret my comments made about your argument as
> personal attacks on your person.
>
> As blind people, I think we all have been through the gambit of
> scenarios with our blindness.  I've only been blind for 8 years, but
> I've encountered all types of attitudes, and I have evolved myself.
> None of us have a patent on dealing with perceptions and attitudes
> towards blindness.  We are in it together.
>
> And of course we are not only blind people.  We deal with perceptions
> about a plethora of things like gender, religion and race.  I always
say
> that as a woman, we always end up at the bottom of the barrel
regardless
> of disability or race.  Having something else like blindness just adds
> another level to our struggle as females to receive equal respect in
> this world.  As a girl, I'm perceived as more vulnerable especially
> since I'm also blind.  The attitudes I get are often different than
what
> my husband gets as a blind male.
>
> So we all understand the struggle for acceptance and equality on some
> level.  I enjoy these discussions, and it is nice to learn about
things
> unfamiliar.  When we allow our personal feelings to direct comments
> towards others on a personal level, we cross over into an
inappropriate
> defense.
>
> I also think using far-out examples takes the discussion down a
bizarre
> alley that begins to take us off course.  Although, I like it when we
> think outside the box.  *grin*
>
> Bridgit