[stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 13

[Kerry Thompson]

Hi friends,

Bridgid, I agree wholeheartedly with your post dated Monday, May 09, 
2011 3:50 PM. Very well said.

Donna, I can think of two general ways to handle fiction dealing with 
canes vs. dogs, a dramatic handling in which there is some sort of 
actual conflict or a lighter, perhaps mildly comic approach involving 
more of a friendly rivalry between the two protagonists. In either case, 
the "conflict" could be resolved when the two are forced to cooperate to 
get out of some jam, demonstrating conclusively that each method is 
valuable and valid.

You could also slant it, perhaps showing the cane user as intolerant. In 
this case, the dog user would save the day. Or, slant it the other way, 
with the dog user the intolerant party and the cane user saving the day. 
I would personally prefer to avoid both these extremes and stick to the 
balanced approach wherein both protagonists learn from and cooperate 
with one another. If I were writing the story, I'd probably work in a 
romantic element, but that's just me. Having no experience with either 
cane or dog travel, though, I am not qualified to write the story, so 
must leave it to others.

Marion, in your post dated Thu, 12 May 2011 08:53:55 --0400 you say, 
"Discrimination, no matter what the reason, is offensive and founded in 
ignorance." This is absolutely true. I would add my personal belief that 
it is also founded in fear, the fear of a person who is different from 
oneself. But, whatever its basis, discrimination hurts everyone, the one 
discriminated against most obviously, but also the one doing the 
discriminating and society at large. So, it is not merely in our own 
self-interest, as you say, to educate when possible and litigate when 
necessary, it is in the interest of bettering the society we live in, 
improving it for everyone.

Judith, in your post dated Thu, 12 May 2011 09:35:54 --0400 you say, 
"Just keep in mind that the law might read one thing but if a person is 
ignorant of the law it doesn't matter." Practically speaking, this is 
sometimes true, unfortunately. But it is also true that ignorance of the 
law is no excuse, no defense before the law. So, for instance, Marion 
was able to take the cab driver to court and win even though the man 
didn't know what he was doing was illegal.

Yes, to get through life we have to accept a certain amount of (pardon 
my French) bullshit, because we're disabled and in the case of you and 
me because we're women. Sometimes it's easier just to take it and go on. 
But if we don't know our rights and sometimes assert them vigorously, 
then we end up hurting both ourselves and society. We can't live without 
a consensus about what behavior is acceptable. We, as members of 
society, get a voice in the forming of that consensus. And just as you 
wouldn't stand for being discriminated against or mistreated because 
you're Jewish and I wouldn't stand for it because I'm Catholic and 
neither of us would stand for discrimination on account of our gender, 
just so we have to see discrimination on the basis of our disabilities 
as just that, discrimination on a par with gender or race or age or any 
other discrimination.

Sometimes there's nothing we can do about it. Sometimes the 
discriminator is simply stupid and refuses to accept commonsense, like 
the receptionist in your example. No amount of reasoning or shouting was 
going to change her preconceptions. But simply dismissing her as stupid 
effectively excuses and condones her behavior. When you got inside, did 
you mention the receptionist's behavior to the nurse and then to the 
doctor, saying that besides being insensitive, embarrassing and 
offensive, it was also possibly illegal? Maybe that doesn't seem like 
much, and maybe nothing would have come of it, but it is action, 
education as Marion might say, a nonviolent, non-aggressive action that 
benefits everybody.

Please understand. I'm not picking on you particularly! I know that you 
understand what everyone is saying and that you are merely pointing out 
some of the difficult, unpleasant realities of life. I have encountered 
those realities too and know how distressing and sometimes crushing they 
can be. I'm simply saying that even when there's nothing we can actually 
do in a given situation, to change a person's attitude or behavior for 
instance, that doesn't mean that within ourselves we have to accept and 
resign ourselves to it. Yes, there are an awful lot of stupid, ignorant 
people out there. And they're going to say and do stupid, ignorant 
things. But accepting them for what they are isn't going to solve 
anyone's problems. Calling the idiot on his behavior, as you tried to 
do, informing h is superiors and coworkers, telling everyone you can 
think of to tell about it, especially people who are likely to come into 
contact with him, these are all simple ways of affirming that he is 
wrong and his ignorance doesn't diminish you in any way; rather, it 
diminishes him.

Donna, who brushed her teeth for her? Presumably, the lady is not a 
paraplegic or double amputee? I hope she found another dentist pronto! 
For myself, I would have punched the bastard's lights out! Hard to 
believe anyone that stupid could have graduated from junior high, much 
less advanced training like dentistry school.

Kerry