[stylist] poems of controversial content

Mon May 30 22:34:41 UTC 2011

Barbara,
You have picked two of the most difficult forms of poetry when it comes to
lines flowing easily from one to the next. 
No poem is "no good" if it honestly portrays a depth of feeling which yours
do.  I would critique it as an early  draft that might be improved.  You
appear to have followed the format  faithfully. The only suggestions I might
make are that the length of the lines might be made to contain a similar
number of syllables and have a bit more rhythmic accent to them. This is not
a requirement  for a sestina, however. It might give a more poetic feel to
it.  As a blind person, with JAWS reading it, it might help me follow it
better.
I have a superb article on writing sestinas from The Writer's Magazine which
I scanned into a file, "Poet to Poet." If you would like me to send it, I
will copy and paste it to you. I have the same problem that things do not
always come out with the same format when I do this (word) but as my own
computer will not open attachments I hesitate to use that way to send things
on. 
A short title could be "No Return."
Jacqueline Williams
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Saturday, May 21, 2011 6:51 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] poems of controversial content

Okay, sestinas are my newest form-along with villanelles-to master.  Do you
think both of these are no good or do you actually like one of them?
  SESTINA 1

Who thinks it's okay for partial-birth

Abortions to be performed at all?

It's not only just a mass of cells  

But a perfectly-formed baby

That's growing at the half-way point;

A miniature little person.

Yes, a little, tiny person

Who will grow and gain before birth.

If you've held one you'll see the point

That there's nothing to the argument at all

About whether a twenty-weeker's a baby

And not just a throw-away mass of cells.

Sure, we all are made of cells,

A cat, a flower, a rock, a person,

Even if it's inside it's a baby,

Just much smaller than it will be at birth.

If the mothers one and all

Saw sonograms they'd get that point

That there's no return at any point

Once the fertilized egg divides into cells

That will rapidly form all

Of that little person

To be at birth

When you finally hold that baby.

After you're pregnant with a baby

Is not at the point

You decide not to give birth.

You're not just eliminating cells,

But a very tiny person,

With fingers and toes and heart and all.

Once, that is all

I wanted--a baby--

And too early that little person,

Came and made the point

That very soon those cells

Become a miniature of the child at birth.

O little person, there was never a point

When all I thought you were was cells.

You were always my baby, and sad was your birth.

  SESTINA 2

When I think of aborting a baby,

Especially after the first trimester,

I think of a very tiny boy

Who also knew death before life

Outside of his mother's womb

And not because she chose that to be

But because God had a reason for it to be.

O how we wanted that precious baby

That took extra help to grow in the womb

But by the middle of the second trimester

A tangled cord took the life

Of our longed-for little boy.

He was a perfect miniature boy.

All his parts were where they should be,

He just possessed no breath of life

As I tenderly held that wee baby.

I know what abortions past first trimester

Are removing from the womb.

I didn't wish to empty the womb

But he was a very wiggly little boy

And at twenty weeks, in second trimester,

His future, we knew, was not to be.

How could you abort a baby

That old and take its life?

Sure, at twenty weeks life

Is impossible outside of the womb

But for half its gestation you've carried that baby,

A perfectly miniature girl or boy.

After seeing that, I wonder how it can be

That you'd want to abort even in first trimester,

Let alone second or third trimester.

At conception is the beginning of life,

Or how could that zygote come to be

A growing fetus in the womb

Then enter the world as a girl or boy,

That long-anticipated baby?

We so wanted you to be, little one in the womb,

After the third trimester, the precious boy

Who we could share our life, beginning as our baby.

Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay
any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose
any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John
F. Kennedy
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site:
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>

stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jackieleepoet%40cox
.net