[stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness story

PAUL BAVER pebaver at verizon.net
Thu Apr 5 15:13:05 UTC 2012


Thanks Linda
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 9:41 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness 
story


> the Author is Ryan Knighton - the book is:  Cockeyed. I would love to meet 
> this man and have conversations with him. He is brilliant. This man has NO 
> handicap, and NO disability, he just cannot see, but he is a completely 
> whole person in every way.
>
> I never ever call myslf disabled, impaired, or handicapped. I am first a 
> person, a writer and artist, wife, mother, grand mother, great 
> grandmother - and by the way, I just can't see very well. It has nothing 
> to do with who I am at all. My sight loss is NOT ME.
>
> This book is the  most hilarious account of his life. He began losing his 
> sight in his teens. He is a professor in Canada now, and teaches writing. 
> The book is so funny, I was laughing out loud like a crazy woman - I could 
> not stop laughing as I watched him going on one crazy adventure after 
> another and some of his encounters in clubs and with woman are absolutely 
> wild. I highly recommend this book. Here it is on Amazon at this address:
> http://www.amazon.com/Cockeyed-Ryan-Knighton/dp/1586484400
>
> JUSTIN, why don't you begin writing about your QUEST for a WIFE ???  This 
> could be such a good piece of literature if you begin finding the humor in 
> it all, and start keeping a journal of your encounters. I can just 
> envision that for you.  Your quest will be your theme - and maybe during 
> your quest, you will meet Miss Right for You....
>
> I got it through NLS on tapes. Now, this book is the perfect EXAMPLE of 
> really good writing of a memoir. There is no maudelain sentimentality in 
> it at all; no pity; no needless drama; no crying about circumstances; 
> there is only victory and the amazing will of a man to get where he wanted 
> to go - in every way. this is a young man who knows WHO he IS and ACTS on 
> it.
>
>
> Lynda Lambert
> 104 River Road
> Ellwood City, PA 16117
>
> 724 758 4979
>
> My Blog:  http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
> My Website:  http://lyndalambert.com
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "PAUL BAVER" <pebaver at verizon.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:58 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness 
> story
>
>
>> Linda do you know the Authors name, although I'm not looking for a wife, 
>> it sounds like a great read. Thank you Paul E Baver
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 8:09 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness 
>> story
>>
>>
>>> Have you read the book _Cock Eyed_? It is the story of the author who 
>>> was blind. It is hilarious as we are taken into his situations with 
>>> women and dating. He is married now and is a college professor - an 
>>> English Prof. and has a great life.  I think you would enjoy this book 
>>> and might just get some tips for finding your lady, too.  Happy hunting! 
>>> Lynda
>>>
>>> Lynda Lambert
>>> 104 River Road
>>> Ellwood City, PA 16117
>>>
>>> 724 758 4979
>>>
>>> My Blog:  http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
>>> My Website:  http://lyndalambert.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 12:30 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness 
>>> story
>>>
>>>
>>>> That's rough.  In the south, I encounter a lot of closed minded people; 
>>>> more
>>>> than in any other part of the country.  All the classy women, you know 
>>>> the
>>>> ones who have college degrees and who are close to our level of skilled 
>>>> and
>>>> intelligence, don't seem to want you because they know they can get a 
>>>> man
>>>> who can see; including the ones on Match.com, and they all say there so 
>>>> open
>>>> minded; isn't that a joke.  I nearly choke every time I hear it.  I 
>>>> refuse
>>>> to settle.  Not only have I tried the dating web sites, I have traveled 
>>>> all
>>>> over the city; frequenting a number of different settings such as house
>>>> parties, churches,  and other social establishments; seemingly to no 
>>>> avail.
>>>> I have found very few instances where a woman was interested.  I get 
>>>> treated
>>>> as more of a curiosity.  My best conversations seem to be with married 
>>>> women
>>>> probably because neither they, nor their husbands consider me a threat;
>>>> isn't that uplifting.  We already know that most women don't consider 
>>>> us
>>>> viable mates already; I mean, that is what the article said right! It 
>>>> just
>>>> agreed with my own findings didn't it.  I hope I'm wrong.  I am black, 
>>>> and I
>>>> know very few blind men married to sighted women; especially amongst my
>>>> race, though race to me is no object; a good thing, for I can truly 
>>>> claime
>>>> the open minded trait that seems to be so elusive to most.  Now I 
>>>> realize
>>>> that you guys are a captive audience, so if you wish to get at me for
>>>> venting just a little, then please, feel free.  Understand however, 
>>>> that I
>>>> am really sending this to God; though he already knows.
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>> Behalf Of Robert Leslie Newman
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 9:42 AM
>>>> To: writers nfb
>>>> Subject: [stylist] interesting Background info for a good blindness 
>>>> story
>>>>
>>>> I got this article from the NFBTalk list: the subject line read- 
>>>> Blindness
>>>> and sexuality
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Blindness and Sexuality: Researching Myths and Facts Summary Report:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Distributed by: National Data Distribution Center (NDDC)
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> April 1, 2009
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Atlanta Georgia
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The two hundredth anniversary of the birth of Louis Braille is being
>>>> celebrated by the US mint with the production of a silver coin 
>>>> commemorating
>>>> the man who created the modern reading system used by many blind 
>>>> people.
>>>>
>>>> Unfortunately, although blind people work and live normal lives, they 
>>>> are
>>>> still different in many ways and their experiences are a matter of 
>>>> curiosity
>>>> amongst the sighted population.  For most of us, the question, "What is 
>>>> it
>>>> like to be blind?," has entered our minds more than once.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Research, some of it useful and much of it not, about how people who 
>>>> are
>>>> blind perceive the world, abounds.  One of the more interesting topics 
>>>> of
>>>> study is sexuality among the blind.  The story, goes that blind people 
>>>> are
>>>> incredible sexual partners--somehow being extremely sensitive to their
>>>> partners and, being able to stimulate them far more than the average 
>>>> person.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Masters and Johnson were so intrigued by this subject that they 
>>>> collected
>>>> data over several years from those who had had sex with blind people.
>>>>
>>>> Surprisingly, what they thought would be myths, turned out to be true. 
>>>> The
>>>> results were stunning.  On average, women rated their blind partners 
>>>> 9.1 on
>>>> a scale of 10.  The average rating was five for sighted partners.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "This research has been duplicated several times," says Author Mary 
>>>> Roach,
>>>> author of, 2008 best seller, Bonk: the Curious Coupling of Science and 
>>>> Sex.
>>>>
>>>> The data hasn't attracted much attention because blindness is such a 
>>>> low
>>>> incidence event.  "We usually print things that have broad interest. 
>>>> And,
>>>> even though this indicates that blind people are incredibly sexual, 
>>>> there
>>>> aren't really enough of them to go around."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Comments from sighted partners were astounding.  "He seemed like he 
>>>> knew my
>>>> soul," from a 23 year old female.  "Her tongue knew just how to touch 
>>>> every
>>>> part of me if you know what I mean," from a college male.  One woman
>>>> commented, "The things he could do with his fingers were beyond 
>>>> description
>>>> in this survey.  It's not that he was built bigger than other men, it 
>>>> just
>>>> seemed like he touched me inside with it all over,"  she said with a 
>>>> shy
>>>> smile.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> When William Masters was asked, in a 1971 interview, why he didn't draw 
>>>> more
>>>> attention to these findings he said, "I didn't know anything about
>>>> blindness.  We were publishing information of general interest about
>>>> sexuality and this just didn't fit that mold.  Perhaps some day 
>>>> researchers
>>>> will help us understand why blind people have such incredible sexual
>>>> capacities and we'll be able to use that information to increase the
>>>> abilities of others.  Until then, a very few lucky men and women will
>>>> experience the phenomena of sex with a blind person."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> There is a down side to this research.  When interviewed, blind people
>>>> generally expressed frustration about sexuality.  Broadly speaking, 
>>>> they
>>>> divided sighted people into three groups.  First is the group who 
>>>> simply
>>>> want to have sex with them for the thrill and experience of it.  "We 
>>>> feel
>>>> used," was the most common thing reported.  second, was the group who 
>>>> simply
>>>> couldn't see themselves with a blind husband or wife.  "They want to be 
>>>> with
>>>> us, but don't see us as fathers and mothers, for example,"  was often 
>>>> heard.
>>>>
>>>> the third group were those who "get it" as one blind man put it.  "They 
>>>> can
>>>> see beyond blindness and except us for who we are.  Blindness just 
>>>> fades
>>>> into the background and becomes another characteristic."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The sad truth is that although blind people work, raise families, 
>>>> travel
>>>> independently and generally speaking, live normal lives, the public
>>>> perception is the opposite.  The image of the helpless beggar still 
>>>> lurks in
>>>> our minds.  Sighted people report that the fear of blindness overwelms 
>>>> their
>>>> rationality.  "I know that I shouldn't let blindness interfere with how 
>>>> I
>>>> think about my partner, but, I can't help it," said a young college 
>>>> student
>>>> engaged to a blind physicist working at NASA.  "Yes, he has money, and 
>>>> yes,
>>>> he's sexy, and oh, my god, can he please me, if you know what I mean. 
>>>> The
>>>> hardest thing is getting over this image of him as a helpless blind 
>>>> man. We
>>>> sail, bike ride and horse back ride.  I can't think of anything he 
>>>> can't do
>>>> except drive, but, I'll admit, the image of a helpless blind man still
>>>> haunts me.  People look at him with such pity and I just want to 
>>>> scream,
>>>> "You don't get it you fools.""  But she admits that making the decision 
>>>> to
>>>> mary is difficult.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Chad, a young blind college student says he finds the whole sex thing a 
>>>> bit
>>>> distracting.  "Sure I can please women more than my sighted friends 
>>>> can, and
>>>> frankly, it's because they just don't pay attention to women and what 
>>>> their
>>>> bodies and hearts are saying.  Women will tell you everything you need 
>>>> to
>>>> know if you just listen and feel."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> We give you all of this information with the caviat that perhaps only 
>>>> one in
>>>> six thousand people is an eligible blind man or woman, so, happy 
>>>> searching.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Robert Leslie Newman
>>>>
>>>> Personal Website-
>>>>
>>>> Adjustment To Blindness And Visual impairment
>>>>
>>>> http//www.thoughtprovoker.info
>>>>
>>>> NFB Writers' Division, president
>>>>
>>>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.net
>>>>
>>>> Chair of the NFB Communications Committee
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
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>
>
>
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