[stylist] How could I improve this story?

[Chris Kuell]

Barbara,

My first suggestion is that you download/request a book called 'Bird by 
Bird' by Anne Lamott. It's an absolutely wonderful book on writing and life. 
The title derives from a story she tells about her brother. One time in 
school he had to write a report on the birds of North America. He puts it 
off because he's overwhelmed by the topic. Finally he asks his father--how 
can I possibly write a report about the birds of North America? "Bird by 
bird," his father answers him. "Just take it bird by bird."

My second suggestion is that you try to adopt a new attitude. Writing isn't 
easy. Sure, penning your thoughts or sketching a few rhymes can be fun and 
enjoyable and you don't have to break a sweat. But to be what I'd call a 
'great writer' takes hard work, no matter what type of writing you do. 
Anybody can throw words down on a page, but only a writer can make them come 
to life.

The work of writing comes in creation, editing, revising, rewriting, and 
polishing. There isn't a book or essay out there that you thought was great 
that wasn't slaved and sweated over by the writer who crafted it.

We are actually fortunate these days because writing on a computer is so 
easy. A hundred or more years ago, writers wrote draft after draft by hand. 
They didn't have spell checking or google to double check their work and 
facts. They couldn't get feedback from half-a-dozen friends across the 
country within a few hours. I remind you of this to help give you 
perspective.

My third recommendation is that you read over your first chapter, then think 
about how you would like to change it. Think about what would make the 
chapter better, the characters more realistic, what details will bring the 
setting to life for the reader. Then sit down with a blank document open and 
rewrite it. Don't be afraid of the work. Writing is hard work, but it's not 
the coal mines. J.D. Salinger spent 10 years writing and rewriting 'Catcher 
in the Rye' over and over again until he got it right.

Several years ago I drafted a longish short story, about nine thousand 
words, which I was pretty proud of. It took me about two weeks of writing 
every day to finish it. On the first day of the third week I opened the 
document--and it was gone. To this day I don't know what happened to it. All 
I can figure is that I did a select all to adjust formatting, then did 
something to delete the text (easier to do years ago) then saved the blank 
document. Doesn't matter, my story was gone. So I cried, I swore, I broke a 
few things. Once I'd accepted that the story was truly gone, I sat down and 
wrote it again. This time it turned out to be about six thousand words, and 
you know what? It was even better. Firstly, I cut out a lot of the boring 
stuff, but remembered all the lines I'd written that were really strong. 
Secondly, in the first writing of the story, I grew to truly know the 
characters. In the second writing, I did a much better job at bringing them 
to life. Now, it still wasn't publishable, and in fact I think I revised it 
5 more times until I had it just right. It was published in 'Bewildering 
Stories', and later republished in the anthology, 'The Best of Bewildering 
Stories'. In all honesty, I probably put more than 150 hours of work into 
that single story. That's why I say good writing is hard work.

Now, the good news is that the more you put work into the craft, the better 
you get at it. It still takes a lot of work, rewriting and revising and 
editing, but you do get better and better at it. You can also see how your 
stories or essays improve, which makes the process a little easier.

Yes, the tone of your story may change. But honestly, it will probably 
change for the better. If you want to be a good writer and not just a 
hobbyist, don't shy away from the work. Reading books on the craft can be 
very helpful. BARD doesn't have it, but I think web braille or bookshare 
does, but I highly recommend a book called 'Self Editing for Fiction 
Writers' by King and Brown. It's an excellent resource that walks you 
through the entire process of turning that mediocre first draft into 
something you can feel really good about.

Are you up to the challenge?

chris