[stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Fri Aug 24 19:06:06 UTC 2012

Barbara

Thanks for the good words.  I'm still a newby at this.  Some poems seem to jump out of the mind full blown.  This one has been through many iterations (and may go through more).

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2012 2:41 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Just on a first read thrpough it, I like it a bit better.  The language is a 
bit stronger and draws you in more.
Barbara

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
-----Original Message----- 
From: Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2012 12:21 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Jackie

Thanks for the good words about the poem.  I am attaching the latest version 
(the one I actually sent to Asimov's yesterday with some changes (including 
a new title).  I hope this version is clearer and reads better than the 
last.

Thanks again for responding.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Jacqueline Williams
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 3:34 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Shawn,
Yes, this helped a great deal to read it with the line lengths as you
intended.
This poem seems to me a very powerful statement of an inspiring faith that
was cruelly dashed and left you with imposters to a replacement God. But out
of it, you still strive to understand through your humanity. With more time,
I will Google the God's names that you use. This often helps me to
understand more deeply. I am not at all sure that my understanding is what
you intend in your poem. I find it tragic in one sense, but also, perhaps, a
pendulum that will still move from the depths to the heights during those
periods of trying to find higher meaning to our very humanity.
Your writing stretches one's brain, and this is a treasured thing.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2012 5:01 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Jackie

I am sending this again in a word document, if you can read the format, the
line breaks may be easier.

Thanks for looking at this.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacqueline Williams
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 6:59 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Shawn,
It is difficult for me to "read" this without more specific line breaks. I
am guessing that the internet changed your format significantly. It is a
complex with a great deal to think about, and it is easy to get lost.
Then, again, perhaps it is my brain that gets lost more easily these days!
For a mathematician, perhaps you into this poem at a more complex level than
my simple algebra got me to.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jacobson, Shawn D
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2012 10:46 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: [stylist] Inspiration of wonder

Dear writer's division

When last I Emailed, I had just sent a poem, Reunion 100, to Asimov's
Science Fiction magazine.  After lengthy deliberation, 8 weeks, they decided
to reject it.

So I will send them another one this week, see below.  I entered it in the
contest, it didn't do anything, so I looked it over, UG! So I did some
serious retooling of the peace so that it looks better, at least I think so.

Please take a look and see what you think.

Shawn Jacobson
Mathematical Statistician
Phone# (202)-475-8759
Fax# (202)-485-0275

Inspiration of Wonder
by Shawn Jacobson
While reading Zenna's people stories
I heard the God of light-year strides
condescend to speak in divine language
that reach into my innermost being where runs
the code that steers my soul
to touch all with joy and wonder.

And my soul did mount up like an eagle,
that forged the stars.  And walking with the presence I strove to shine
with its light and share its love.  My spirit vaulted
to grateful heights and soaring for a while...

But now with soaring done and spirit fled
I stand alone deserted by the one.  I hold the shards
of joy and trudge the darkness.  I search for the path,
and seek the light, the way of joy, wonder lost.

But then why should I seek strange gods, this alien El Shadi,
when safer gods are neigh?  And in my search do I find the author of life,
or merely comely imposters with winsome lies?  Hope is my only beacon.

Troubled as I am
I strive just to be human
and struggle with that.

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