[stylist] Phases of the Moon

Sat Feb 25 00:52:38 UTC 2012

Lynda,
Here goes.
Do you mean for the title to mean Phase of the Moon, or Phases of the Moon.
Since the poem is in three stanzas, I surmise you mean the latter instead of
the singular.
Since it is to Sappho, and I suffer from having a very literal mind, I used
all the information on her to give me clues to understanding this poem-a
Greek poet, whose remnants of poetry survive in libraries in Greece, and
other places. Thus a possible explanation of the two shy librarians.
Also, there is the speculation that she was       a lesbian, coming from
Lesbos. The two shy librarians are Certainly Sappho held enough words to
write an epic poem for she was very prolific. The other, fearful, could have
been in fear of being revealed as Sappho's companion. 
Certainly Sappho slid around time, and the variety of "neighbors she had in
the fifth and sixth centuries B.C.
Also, Vegans first made themselves known at this same time. Not having to do
with health, but because they objected morally to the use of animals for
food. They were believed by Vegans to have equal standing as human beings as
far as rights. That is the only meaning I can find for having that line in
the poem, other than the dog is black which fits the mood of the sky.
The phrase, "swaddled around" seems like it should "swaddled by" instead. It
seems like the lunar field would be wrapped around the shadows.
I love the first stanza. It gives a vivid visual picture of this night. I do
question whether you need three adjectives to describe the night. I love
"reluctant" and the other two are equally descriptive, but would not just
one of those be enough to go with reluctant?
I shall think of a wounded moon, double red, in the future when I look at
the sky, and see the slight subordinate branches holding something. Even
though I cannot see.
Wonderful language.
Does the Vegan walk his black dog mean he is an audience for the poet when
she writes with her neon lipstick?  Sunspots can have a double meaning. The
Cosmos, or aging skin. For your poem, I am assuming the cosmos.
For the larger meaning, I am not sure. I might think that it is about a
wildly imaginative woman who has been wounded, but makes beauty take the
place of hurt by sliding around doors  she  may have found closed to her
over time.
Am I even close to your meaning?
You have a period after the word, "illustrations" yet it is followed  by
lowered case, "on."
I am a fan of m-dashes, and I see you have used dashes like Emily Dickenson.

I have never been particularly good at critiquing, but when I really take
time, I find I learn much. 
I suspect you have an MFA. Am I correct?
And this is what I must learn from.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 5:56 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Phases of the Moon

Hi Jacquelin,
Here is the poem I have been working on for a few days.  It is in three 
phases so I hope it comes through ok for you to read. NO rhyming.

Phase of the Moon

    (to Sappho)

Wounded - on a dark, late, reluctant night

double red Crescent  Moon, hiding  something

beyond the slight, subordinate branches  -

She slides  around time-painted neighborhood doors..

Two shy Irish librarians have stopped

One  holds enough words to write an epic poem.

The second one stands in silent fear .

of shadows  swaddled  around the  lunar  field.

A vegan acquaintance walks his black dog tonight-

when  a poet  writes illusions.on night skies

reaching up - applies her bright neon  lipstick.

She motions and  the years chase away sunspots

 **********************************

Lynda Lambert

February 20, 2012

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jacqueline Williams" <jackieleepoet at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 4:36 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Phases of the Moon

> Linda,
> Yes, if you are willing to chance changes in line length, I would love to
> read your poem. Some are so dependent on this factor.
> If it is a rhymed poem I can often adjust the lines myself. Sometimes if
> there is a great discrepancy in the length reading line by line, I can 
> also
> guess at the line break. And sometimes, regardless, it flows from 
> beginning
> to end.
> Thank you for sharing.
> Jackie
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
> Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 7:18 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Phases of the Moon
>
> I use msword7.
> I can send it enclosed in the message, but not sure it it changes the
> format...let me know and I will be glad to email it to you if you like.
> And, I love your thinking process, too!
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jacqueline Williams" <jackieleepoet at cox.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2012 8:57 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Phases of the Moon
>
>
>> Linda,
>> I have to download a kind of pac to be able to open your attachment. It 
>> is
>> because I have an older version of Word. I don't know why this makes me
>> nervous, but I have an old laptop and things often get messed up.
>> I am sorry I cannot read your "Moon" poem at this time. Perhaps I can 
>> send
>> this e-mail to my new computer with all the upgrades when I start to 
>> learn
>> how to use the new operating system.
>> I love your thinking process.
>> Jackie
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
>> Sent: Monday, February 20, 2012 1:03 PM
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> Subject: [stylist] Phases of the Moon
>>
>> I want to share a poem I have been working on for a couple of days. I
>> attached it as a word document for more clarity.
>>
>> This poem?  It comsumes me - I get up late at night, turn my computer 
>> back
>> on, so I can work some more. Move things around, change some words, 
>> inject
>> meaning, take away what is "too much."
>>
>> Writing a poem is like a construction worker. We gather up information,
>> haul
>> it away in a turck, and take it from one construction site to the next.
>> We
>> build it; we tear it apart; we build again; and tear it down once more.
>> And,
>> on it goes. Each time we destroy or move things, it creates something 
>> that
>> is new. We "construct" meaning through "deconstructing" it. It is hard
>> work.
>> I am still working on this one.
>>
>> The Irish librarians were a big surprise to me this afternoon as I 
>> worked.
>> And, this poem taught me so many new things about the phases of the moon
>> and
>> the meaning of a new tube of lipstick.  lol
>>
>> I have absolutely NO idea when I begin, where we are going. I begin with 
>> a
>> few words, ideas, and we go from there. It is an exciting journey. When I
>> had started this one, I had no idea who would be "showing up" to
>> participate
>> in it. One by one, they come.
>>
>>
>> Lynda
>>
>> Lynda Lambert
>> 104 River Road
>> Ellwood City, PA 16117
>>
>> 724 758 4979
>>
>> My Blog:  http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
>> My Website:  http://lyndalambert.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
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