[stylist] Writing sample, untitled book or novella

[Michelle]

Thanks a lot! And I know what you mean, I am not quite happy with it and it
will go in for rewrite number three, LOL
Michelle


-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 3:01 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Writing sample, untitled book or novella

Michelle,

Good piece of fiction. I enjoy fantasy, and though this kind of material
is quite rampant now, I still enjoy fantasy, and this piece has promise.

I like the sarcastic tone your protagonist has, which comes across in
the writing. Good sensory details. My one constructive criticism is to
try taking the exhibition and creating action as opposed to telling the
reader things. This helps put readers into the moment instead of just
observing it. Get outside the main characters head at times to develop
these scenes with the proverbial "show" versus the "tell." Over-all
though, this has a lot of great qualities and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Finally a fellow fantasy enthusiast on the list, smile.

By the way, folks, I've obviously been absent on Stylist, but just so
much going on. Finally in third trimester and feeling it. Very tired all
the time, and constant swelling in legs and lower back make doing much
for extended periods of time difficult; even sitting on computer becomes
uncomfortable a times. I'm trying to keep updated on listserves, but not
exactly a priority, and once baby comes, will probably have less time.
So I'll be in and out for quite some time. Hope convention was grand.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2012 16:28:50 -0400
From: "Michelle" <1blindchik at comcast.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Writing Sample, Untitled book or Novella
Message-ID: <43A300A1CE4C4F08B9C69B2E9E7FB97A at nebf1aad9970f4>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

 

Robert saw my poem and asked to see a sample of my fiction. I regret not
getting to meet you at Convention Robert. But, here is a sample of my
fiction.

Michelle

 

 

Power Play

By: Michelle Sipe

 

 

 

 

   I couldn't believe he had actually hit me! Of all the stupid,
masculine, overbearing..I took a deep breath, yet it did not stop the
first push of my power like sparks on the wind. My anger came with it,
riding on the power like a cape on the shoulders of a dark phantom.

   I cansee him in the driver's seat, the look on his face after his
hand cracked across my face, splitting my lip. The son of a bitch looked
smug! Bastard.

   John had never hit me before, not through all the fights we had. It
was like being smacked out of reality into some nightmare. It was
happening to somebody else, right?

   Yeah, right.

   I had found out he was cheating on me with one of my friends. I
looked back at him, so handsome with his blonde hair and chocolate brown
eyes and smiled. It didn't feel like a nice smile either. It felt hard
and somehow wrong on my lips.

   John had suddenly looked uncertain, that smug look sliding off his
face like a melting mask. Good, points for me.

   "You are the worst kind of man John, a phoney. The end for you will
not be pretty" Yay! My boice was steady, low and confident made me sound
tougher than I felt.

   "Shayna, I've been drinkin baby. I would never." John's voice
faltered as he saw my pine forest colored  eyes suddenly change,
sparkling like there were scattered stars over the forest green of the
iris, making them glow like a Pine grove aluminated by the full moon.

   "You wouldn't what? Screw one of my best friends? How many times
John? How many ways did you betray me?" My voice was like a sharpened
icicle. "Hitting me was only one last thing, the last time I will ever
give you the power to hurt me."

   "You little bitch," He lunged at me, fast as the shape shifter he
was. I had been expecting this and shoved open my car door, falling out
on my back on the sandy shoulder of the road. I rolled sprang to my feet
and I pulled my power around me. It was like grasping hold of the edges
of your favorite blanket and pulling it close. The wind picked up and
somewhere I heard a wolf howl.

   "Shayna," He snarled out my name, yet didn't quite have the trust to
move out of the car towards me. He was never sure what to make of my
power, it frightened him, I think.

   Good, at last a language he understood. Maybe I was getting wiser as
I got older?

   Nah, just the survival instinct.

   "Get behind the wheel, drive away and do not come after me John." His
now almost amber gaze met my iced pine one. I felt his beast waiting to
spring into action, to force him to change. The other wordly power of
him slid across my skin, making me stumble back a step. I reached deep
inside myself and collected my power, like holding it in a giant fist
and pulling it up from the bottom of a well.

   A low growl trickled from his lips, the beast inside him swimming up,
turning his eyes more wolf than human.

   I wrapped my power around me like the arms of a lover. a  and the
chill wind picked up, it made my black hair dance around my small face.

   "Enough, leave me alone" And my voice commanded no argument. "If you
do not leave, I will call Jordan and tell him what you have done."

  Jordan is the Alpha of the local werewolf pack and he runs a clean and
fairly law abiding pack. Plus he has two daughters under ten and
wouldn't take kindly to John hitting a woman.

   "you wouldn't," His voice somehow deeper, menacing.

   "Try me John," My voice was flat now, dismissive. "And if you shift,
I swear to the Goddess and all her powers, I will hurt you."

   He laughed then. "You can't hurt me. If you do, I will shift and
heal. Then, I will come back and make you pay."

   Oh, great, a brand new enemy to haunt my dreams. Oh well, such is
life.

   He snarled then, shifting in a flash of clear liquid and shredded
clothes. The The tawny fur spilling down, replacing skin. The bones
shifting, things popping inside of him that never should pop. And,
suddenly the huge gold, black and whit wolf crouched on the seat, the
size of a pony, bigger, maybe bigger.

   Here we go, shit.

   I threw my arms hands up to the sky and whispered a few words in an
ancient language that only witches of my coven might understand. The sky
seemed to split and fire traced down, pooling in my cupped palms like a
glowing ball.

   John snarled then and leaped at me.

   With one word screamed into those amber eyes, I threw the ball of
power at him and it hit his impossibly broad and furred chest, knocking
him back. He actually yelped like a giant, monsterous dog and turned to
rush for the forest, fur on his chest smoking.

   "That's right bastard! If you ever lay a hand on me again, I'll kill
you."

   Damn! I actually sounded menacing. Yeah, little old me, huh.

   Did I forget to mention that I am a witch? Oh, sorry about that. I'm
not the bent over crone with straw like hair and warts. I get my powers
from the earth, the elements and the herbs given to the earth by the
Goddess.

   I made a futile search for the car keys then. I found them, however
some of my power must have touched them because they were all melted
together and bent. Useless.

   I swore with feeling. Damn the luck.

   What is that? Why don't I just undo my own spell? That'd be great and
it can be done. However, it takes time and intricate spells to do it. I
had none of my spell books here to create a spell for such controlled
magic. So, walk it was.

   And you thought I could just whip up something in the spell
department, how human of you!

   As I walked along the shoulder of the two lane highway, I thought
about John betraying me with Jen. Long legged, perfect golden Jen. It
made me
sick.   I turned down the narrow, single lane dirt road that would
eventually take me back to the edge of town. Thick forest crowded up on
both sides and cast the lane into deep darkness, blocking out the
diamond light of the stars scattered over the midnight velvet of the
sky. My high heeled black boots crunched through the fall of Autumn
leaves. The air was so frosty and spice scented from the woods. I lifted
my head and thanked the Goddess for such beauty.

   "You dare show your power in my territory?" The voice whispered along
my skin, raising goose bumps that had nothing to do with fear. But, I
jumped and that head everything to do with fear. 

   Me? Jumpy? Nah!

   I stop and curled suddenly cold fingers around the warmth of my
protection charm that hung around my neck. "Who's there?" And my voice
was surprisingly calm.

   And then he stepped into the center of the lane and the world stood
still as his sky blue eyes met my shadowed foliage colored  ones. Oh
Goddess was there really men this beautiful?

   He had to be six foot tall, muscular but not like a body builder.
Slim and wiry. High cheekbones, straight nose, square chin. Large wide
set eyes tilting at the outer corners to hint at something exotic. And
that hair, rich and thick a chestnut brown that spilled to his waist
like silk.

   "Who gave you permission to use your power in my land?" His voice was
deceptively soft.

   "I.I." I stuttered like the village idiot. I swallowed hard and tried
again, with bravado this time Shayna! Who are you?"

   His power reached out, like a hand caressing down my skin, getting
the feel for me, calling to my own powers. But my power was all about
warmth and growth and life. His was not.

   It was like ice wrapped in a velvet blanket, dark and forbidding and
so very alluring. He was undead and one of the most powerful vamps I had
ever come across. I felt how powerful he was, a heavy, thick power that
tasted cold and sweet on my tongue.

   His laughter then, a soft roll of silk, a knee melting caress.

   "I am Sean and this is my city"

   "The new master of the city? Oh!" I went to my knees at his feet and
bowed my head.

   "Forgive me my slip in politeness Master of the city. I was
protecting myself." I hope my show of submission appealed to him.

   It must have, as he reached down, taking my arm and pulling me to my
feet. He did not let go of the arm in question, however.

   "From what did you need your magic to protect yourself?" No emotion
in his voice, blank and pleasant.

   "Ex boyfriend is a werewolf. We were breaking up. He hit me"

   Something moved across his face then, those sunny January sky eyes
sparked and he seemed to study my face closely. Finally he released my
arm, but only to rais a hand and smooth my fall of dark hair back and
gently rub a thumb over my split bottom lip.

   "Bastard," he said with feeling in barely a whisper.

   "Master?" My voice trembled. When Sean's thumb made contact with my
skin it was like kissing a light socket: ZING!!! I jumped back like I'd
been shot.er, shocked.

   That intoxicating laugh again, running down my spine like warm honey,
sweet and dark and drowning my senses.

   "You stood down the werewolf and chased him away?" Surprise made his
voice deeper. "Oh, little kitten!"

   Don't call me that," there was an annoyed edge in my voice. My cheeks
were warm, I hate to blush! Makes me feel like a giggly teen.

   "Come on Kitten, I will walk with you home. And, Jordan will hear of
this, his wolves are usually better behaved." Sean took my elbow and we
started back down the road.

   "Damn right he'll hear about it. What the hell was he thinking
letting a jerk like John into his pack." My voice was hot with
indignation now.

   Those laughing winter sky eyes looked at me. "And what were you
thinking my Kitten, dating a jerk like that?"

   Jerking the elbow he held from his grasp, I raised my chin: "None of
your business."

   His laughter was our companion as we walked the last few yards to my
driveway.

 

   The house was blazing with lights as we reached the door so, as
usual, my brother was up. He is a terrible night owl, but then so am I.
Disfunctional? Us? Nah!

   Since his divorce three months ago, my brother had been staying with
me. It made it easier when he took his two young daughterseach weekend.

   "You might as well come in," I told Sean. Did I sound a bit
reluctant? Probably, but damn he unnerved me! Men should not be this
attractive.

   Soft laughter. "I want to see the inside of your house Kitten, I
think it will tell me more about you than those bottomless green eyes,."

   *I shivered as the laughter worked its way under my skin and ran
along my nerves like an electric current. Goddess I was in trouble.

   I walked into the kitchen and Sean followed. The music thundered
through the house like the drums of giants making me cringe.

   "Jordy! Shut off that damn racket! Company!" I turned and grimaced at
Sean. "Sorry, my brother is a bit deaf," I joked.

   "Hey sis!" He came in the room on bare feet, skin tight faded jeans
and a flannel shirt hung off him unbuttoned.

   "Jordan, must you play that racket so loud?" I asked, unable to keep
my hand from smoothing back some of his silky black hair that fell well
below his shoulders. He was my older brother by two years, but sometimes
he was like a kid.

   "Sorry Sis," He came over and roughed my hair until I sqeaked and
jerked away. "Jordan!" I could not contain the giggle that bubbled up
though.

   Yes, Jordan, alpha of the local werewolf pack is my brother. My
family is so messed up. My poor parents, right? I mean son that is a
werewolf and daughter a witch! Right, my father was a powerful wizard
and my Mother was a fairy. That's right, one big happy metaphysical
family. Can you say Jerry Springer?

   "Well Kitten, somebody who breaks your guard down," I could hear the
raised eyebrow in Sean's voice.

   Turning, I observed him leaning against the counter, legs crossed ath
the ankle, arms folded over his chest. I noticed he wore nicely fitting
black jeans and a black turtle neneck. There were black combat boots on
his feet, half unlaced and a small silver hoop hung at his left earlobe.
And those heavenly eyes sparkled with mirth.

   "I'm warning you." I raised a hand to point at him. Jordan
interrupted though, striding over to Sean and giving a submissive bow.

   "Sean, master, funny seeing you here!"

   "Your sister and I met along the road. It seems she had trouble with
one of your wolves," Sean's voice was deceptively mild.

   "Sis?" Jordan turned to face me. He had nice hazel eyes that changed
color with his mood, like a mood ring. Right now they were somber
gray/blue. "Was it John again?"

   "Yeah, but it's nothing. We are broken up now. I had to throw a bit
of magic at him though. He shifted on me." 

   The first sign of anger played over Jordan's face then, his full
mouth tightening a little, eyes hardening. "Is he a total idiot? I
warned him once."

   "He hit her," Seans voice was tight with the anger that showed in
Jordan's eyes. "Look at her lip, its split."

   Jordan cupped my chin, studying my lip. His anger was a real thing
then, touchable and hot and full of the ferocity of his beast. "That son
of a bitch!"

   "Will you two stop acting like cave men protecting the damsel? I
expect one of you to pound your chest and give a war yell." I was trying
to make them smile. It didn't work.

   Damn,j tough crowd tonight.

   I looked up to see master vampire and alpha werewolf meet gazes in
some silent, testosterone filled communication. Great, this was all I
needed, a war started because I got a little cut on my lip.

   "Enough guys, please, it is okay now." I heard the cajoling note in
my voice and hoped they did too.

   No such luck, should have guessed.

   "Shayna," Jordan said, his eyeswere a deep dark blue now, angry and
almost not human anymore. "He will pay for this. He doesn't defy me. He
will never defy me again." He was pulling on socks and his own boots
now. Sean straightedned and came to stand in front of me.

   "Kitten?" He touched my chin.

  "Does John really have to die for this?" My gaze looked pleadingly up
at Sean.

   "Yes, your brother is alpha and he can not leave something like this
go. The rest of his pack would see it as him being too soft. Besides,
you are his sister."

   "And you plan to help him?" I asked, fingers nervously playing with a
protection charm around my wrist.

   "Yes," And his voice held all the power of a true master vampire,
though his voice was incredibly soft. A whisper of thunder.

   "Why? Why must you get involved?" I asked defiantly angry. "Why the
hell do you care about me, you only just met me."

   His laughter caressed my aura, shimmering over my body. "Oh, that one
is easy Kitten." His fingertips stroked my cheek? "You belong to me."

   He turned away then to Jordan coming back into the room, leaving me
sputtering on my surprised outrage.

   "Harley just called," Jordan's mouth was a thin line. "It seems that
there are reports of a rogue shape shifter terrorizing a crowd down town
at the Adolph"

   "Any deaths?" Sean's voice was tight.

   "Not yet, but several inguries. We have to stop him.

   They sped out to Jordan's jeep. I grabbed my black bag and raced out
to slip into the jeep too. Hey, as a witch, I can move undetectably
until it is too late. Sneaky? Me? You bet!


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