[stylist] A FIVE random word challenge for you all to have fun with.

Fri Jun 15 17:29:10 UTC 2012

Chris, I love the characters in this and your descriptions are wonderful! My favorite is the dog. I just read it to my daughter who is a veterinary tech and she laughed and said, "that is just so dog." great job! Thanks for playing along. 
Myrna

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 15, 2012, at 9:30 AM, "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net> wrote:

> Here's my response to the 5 random word challenge.
> 
> 1. reunion 2. attention 3. light 4. rule 5. admit
> 
> 
> 
> Hawaiian Wedding Song
> 
> By Chris Kuell
> 
> This is a story about a boring wedding, a hungry dog, and an amazing girl. It's admittedly(5) a little bit weird and meandering, and uses quite a few vocabulary words when simpler ones would do just fine, but it's got a good ending, so stick with it.
> 
> Our story starts in a smokey bowling alley, in a nowheres-ville town in a somewhat average state. A dark-haired guy wearing a green bowling shirt with Paulo embroidered over one side ran into this tall, inattentive skinny girl named Deidre. Paulo worked as an independent garbage man, and did quite well for himself, all things considered. Deidre was good at lawn darts and drag racing, but she was terrible at math, so she didn't notice when Paulo upped his bowling score to 218 when he really bowled a 74, and modified her score to a more than respectable 181-the best she'd ever done.
> 
> As they talked, they discovered that they both liked pickles, holding their breath underwater, the movie Godzilla and a band called Counting Crows. She thought he was great, and he wasn't very picky, so it was a match made in heaven.
> 
> After only twenty-two and a half months, the wedding bells were ringing at the Church of the Homely Orphan, and the guests had assembled at the Crooked Creek Country Club on what could best be called a fairly average golf course.
> 
> The gathering consisted primarily of old men and women in goofy looking suits and dresses. Their hair was all different shades of gray, including one with light(3) blue highlights that matched exactly the owners gray-blue 1953 Fairlane. One woman with kind of greenish skin wore a hat that looked like she'd made it herself from a dead badger.
> 
> There were a handful of kids at the reception, a four-year-old named Oscar who ate a meatball that had fallen on the floor, a red-headed girl named Moxie that had a big, ugly scab on her arm, A bratty little girl who kept crying because her diaper hadn't been changed in nearly fourteen hours, and a buck-toothed kid named Darrell who stuck his butter knife halfway up his nose. And one more, over in the corner, trying to attract the attention(2) of a waitress with bacon-wrapped scallops and make her come over by using her undeveloped telekinetic powers. This girl was known as Anaik, which in old-world Dutch means-dog breath.
> 
> Anaik was in 8th grade at Mortar Block Middle School, and although she was very good at sports-she didn't like to participate. She preferred to dream about which super-power she'd most like to have-flying, or indestructibility? She was a rule(4) follower, was very good at making balloon animals, once drank four energy drinks in a row-and regretted it.
> 
> Anaik liked to carve little dogs with Elvis faces and sell them to a man who traded them to wide-eyed tourists in Memphis for $19.99. She could stand on her head for more than twenty minutes, and once ate a live fly just to watch her big sister puke.
> 
> Anaik found Paulo and Deidre's wedding reception dreadfully boring. That's what people from England say, stuff like dreadfully boring, and since Anaik planned on going to England some day-after all, they speak English there, so there'd be no language barriers-she practiced the phrase in her mind.
> 
> Anaik's parents were as old as some of the other geezers at the party, even knew several from a bowling league reunion(1) last summer, but still, they talked about them. "A face like the bottom of a well-used suitcase." "His back is crooked as a Washington Politician." They told Anaik to to go play with the other kids, but she figured she got enough of the freak show when they went to the state fair last summer. Suddenly, a dog barked, a waitress screamed and threw a plate of cheese balls. A dog, a big dog-yellow-brown with long hair and a serious face-plowed from between the waitress's legs and made a bee-line for the food table.
> 
> 
>  *   *   *   *
> 
> The dog who ran between the waitresses legs and started the entire cataclysmic event which followed was named George. George was a mutt, with parts of him being golden retriever, boxer, black lab and cocker spaniel. But, he also had a grandmother who was a bloodhound, and an uncle who was half wolf-so he was a dog with skills and knowledge only dreamed of by preppy, pure-bred dogs. George was strong enough to pull not one but two little kids on a sled. He was fast enough to snatch moths right out of the air and eat them for a late-night snack. He was so loyal, he once sat outside a police station for 72-hours while he waited for his master to be released on bail.
> 
> Eight years ago, George had been in the Saint Auschwitz Animal Shelter, on his way to be euthanized, when Tom Reynolds, a plumber with a love of chili and high-powered rifles, came in the shelter.
> 
> "Where you going with that dog?" he asked the man wearing a lab jacket, sporting a graying ponytail and carrying a loaded syringe.
> 
> "He's gonna fly the stairway to heaven, man," said Jerry Spinelli, the guy with the needle, a convicted crack dealer from New Orleans who found Jesus while serving a fifteen year sentence in San Quentin.
> 
> "No," Tom shouted. "Let him go. I'll take him."
> 
> George couldn't believe his luck. As soon as Jerry the executioner let him off his leash, his Wolf-blood blasted through his veins. Without thinking or pausing to sniff, he leaped over the counter, bit Tom the plumber on the hand as he bent to pet him, and crashed right through the center of the glass from door.
> 
> Once outside, George ran for it, pausing only momentarily to shake off the broken shards of glass in his fur next to a portly woman pushing a baby stroller.
> 
> A few days later, George met Willie as he stumbled home from an afternoon at the pool hall, and he knew he'd found an owner. George and Willie were inseparable for the next seven years, until the day just a week earlier when Willie didn't get out of bed. George barked, licked Wilie's grubby face, but Willie just didn't get up. Half a day later, Willie was smelling pretty funky.
> 
> George waited for two more days before figuring out that he better strike out on his own. He raided garbage cans for food, slept under people's back porches and yearned for some of Willie's babback ribs.
> 
> George was running through the woods at one of the places where the silly humans hit those little white things with sticks, when he smelled something savory and delicious. His bloodhound senses tripped on to high alert. Tomato sauce. And cheese. And pasta. Stuffed shells, like they make at the church dinners every other Tuesday night. And meatballs. And some kind of fish-haddock, maybe? Didn't matter. It meant there was food, and he was going to get some.
> 
> He found the door to the building where the food was, and waited. It wasn't long before one of the dusty humans came out to drink from the burning sticks some of them like, and George raced inside. He followed the scent of the food-down a carpeted hallway, through some swinging doors into a room full of people. Part of him wanted to run away, but the smell of the food-was it roast beef? - was irresistible. George barked a warning, ducked his broad head and charged around a guy in flip-flops with a beer in one hand and a white stick in the other, right at a lady holding a flat tray of something that smelled absolutely delicious.
> 
>  *   *   *   *   *
> 
> Anaik, like most of the people at the reception, turned her head to find the spot where she'd heard the dog bark. She watched the pretty waitress toss her tray of food as the big dog bowled her over. She saw as if in slow motion how the dog grabbed one of the cheese balls as it dropped, chewing and swallowing in one swift movement as he escaped the falling waitress and made for the stuffed shells.
> 
> Anaik cringed as the silver platter the waitress was carrying hit a bald man in the back of the head, causing hymn to throw his drink into the eyes of a prune-faced woman who screamed as the ice cubes bounced off her face and down the shirt of the man next to her. Somehow, the ice made it down into this poor guy's underwear, which made him kick out. Unfortunately, his foot connected with the leg of the table the eight-layer wedding cake was on, causing the cake to tumble on top of Darrel, the kid who could stick a butter knife up his nose, and who was standing near the cake hoping to dip his finger in to take a taste.
> 
> Little did Darrell know, but the cake had peanut butter in the frosting. Darrel was allergic to peanuts. Horribly allergic to peanuts. Tragically allergic to peanuts.
> 
> As Darrell's throat swelled and one of the old geezers who claimed he took a CP
> R class back in 1972 tried to perform a tracheotomy with the same butter knife Darrell had stuck up his nose, Anaik made her way over to the food table.
> 
> A Canadian woman with one leg noticeably shorter than the other began to screech like a wild turkey on hot asphalt, "Cujo! I swear by Christ-it's Cujo!" While the people screamed and danced and some wet themselves, the dog jumped up, put his front paws on the table and buried his snout in the pasta. Before you could sing, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" the big dog had polished off the shells and had moved on to the meatballs. When that tray was half-gone, he took a break, returning to the floor and licking the sauce from his chops.
> 
> Anaik stared at the dog and thought-have you had enough, or would you like to try the fish?
> 
> George burped, then turned to look around and focused on the girl in the colorful dress. Her eyes were a light(3) chocolate brown, and held something deeper than these other humans who seemed to be screaming and crying when they could be eating this fabulous chow. "Is the fish good?" he thought back.
> 
> "A little over-cooked in places, but the batter was quite splendid," Anaik said with her mind. "Shall I get you a plate, or would you rather stick your face in another tray full of food?"
> 
> "I see no need to dirty another plate," he told her. "Why don't you just grab the whole tray? Throw a few slabs of roast beef on top-don't spare the gravy. We can go outside and play for a while, then chow down on the vittles. Do you have a Frisbee?"
> 
> Anaik grabbed the half-full tray of fish, forked on a few of the juicier pieces of roast beef and added a pound or so of the twice-roasted potatoes-which were her favorite.
> 
> While Darrel's grandmother held the man who had performed the unauthorized tracheotomy on her grandson, effectively causing his expiration, in a jujitsu choke-hold and ignoring his attempts to tap out, the DJ blasted the amplifier, Elvis crooning out, "U-a, si-la. Pa-a ia me o-e. Ko a-lo-ha ma-ka-mea e i-po. Ka-'u ia e le-i a-e ne-i la. Now that we are one, Clouds won't hide the sun, Blue skies of Hawaii smile On this, our wedding day."
> 
> Anaik smiled and walked alongside George toward the door  with a tray full of food under one arm. In the hallway, she kicked off her uncomfortable shoes and proceeded barefoot through the front door, across the blacktopped parking lot and into the cool, stiff grass.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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