[stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy fiction?

Mon Feb 4 23:09:51 UTC 2013

But i like the forest.  the forest over all is a beautiful thing even if one 
of the trees is a bit damaged.

I so see the point you make though.  and thanks for the advice.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 04, 2013 11:38 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy fiction?

Oh, Yes! We cannot see the forest for the trees. This is always the case -
that's why it is so important to put our work out for others to read. I have
benefitted so much from the time people  here have taken to critique my
works. You have helped me so much; made me aware of little things I had
missed in many readings on my own. I am always thankful for the comments I
have received.

It takes a ton of time to read through someone's work and then to go back
and try to explicate it and write comments. It takes me so long to do this,
and it is time I could have been doing working on my own projects. I know
this is true for all of us - we comment based on our observations and always
to be helpful.  We can only hope that what we say is taken as it was given,
sincerely, and with much thought before we wrote anything.

This is a lot like trying to balance a checkbook. Just last week, my husband
spent three entire days working on his checkbook. He thought there was an
$900. mistake there, somewhere. He thought he had $900. more than his bank
statement was showing. He drove himself crazy trying to resolve this
inconsistancy. Finally, he trudged into the bank for some help.  The banker,
too, went over his figures again and again. She became exhausted with the
efforts and had not found the problem.  After quite some time, as they
talked, she turned one paper over, and there it was - the solution to the
equasion was right there. They had both missed it.  Two payments had been
taken out of our balance and we had all missed it.

In our own writing, we can look at things again and again, and not see them.
Once the brain has frozen an idea, it refuses to accept any other notion.
Writing is a lot like that, too. Once we have frozen a notion in our minds,
we cannot see anything beyond that tree in the forest. We all do this! And,
it is maddening!  lol

Lynda

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, February 04, 2013 11:17 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy fiction?

> Ashley,
> It's funny how that happens; you read and read and read and stuff just
> slips
> right under your radar. I can't tell you how many times I've read through
> my
> novel looking for things just to find some glaring error that I've passed
> over dozens of times. Nobody ever catches everything -- I think it's a
> universal law. Or, maybe it's a little joke the muses play on us --
> putting
> things in there just to see if we're awake. *grin*
> Donna
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Ashley
> Gorzelany
> Sent: Monday, February 04, 2013 11:00 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy
> fiction?
>
> Donna,
>
> oh, uh  i did try to state in the first message that  there was sex.  i
> guess explisit has many different levels.  that is tame compared to  what
> i've red in the past.
>
> my appologies all.
>
> and thanks for pointing those out.  i didn't notice them on the last 5
> read
> throughs i've done.
>
> thanks,
> ashley
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:40 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy
> fiction?
>
>
> Hi Ashley,
> First, I really like your descriptions of the environment and characters
> in
> this and the emotional journey of alienation and acceptance. I think it
> would grab the attention of anyone into erotic fantasy, and I hope you
> keep
> working on it. Just a heads up, and I know you sort of warn the audience,
> but I think that when you post this genre, you should make sure you
> include
> something up front that strongly indicates that it has explicit
> descriptions
> of sex , since we do have young people on the list, and some of their
> parents would prefer they not read material like this, even if it is good.
>
> That said, I found what I think is a typo in Chapter 2:
> Block quote
> And if rose was right and this was used to be her home, then what about
> her
> parents, surely, they'd be, here?
> Block quote end
>
> I don't think you meant "was used to be" and am guessing you edited out
> something and missed removing "was."
>
> Also,   the same sort of thing happens in Chapter 4
> Block quote
> Kuro swallowed was knowing who she was, knowing her life before Murdok
> worth
> the pain she knew would come?
> Block quote end
>
> In Chapter 5, a similar thing happens with "hands."
> Block quote
> Her hands twisted a small flower around in her hands,  the petals were
> closed, almost dead looking.
> Block quote end
> HTH,
> Donna
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Ashley
> Gorzelany
> Sent: Friday, February 01, 2013 12:06 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: [stylist] Elements of Passion? a horr/romance fanticy fiction?
>
> Hi all  I've been working on this story since the first of november.  It
> was
> origionally going to be my National Novel Writing month story but life
> conspired against me.  so it never hit the 50000 word mark.
>
> Elements of passion is a 21500 word fiction complete with some beauty, 2
> cool kitsunes,   some romance even if the romance is female in nature.
> there are some graphic sceens, but not, too graphic.  and i'm happy with
> the
> way it turned out.  oh and there's action.  on a raiting of G to R it's
> rated R mostly due to the probably questionable nature of it.
> magic, kitsunes, demons,  oddness. some humor, not much but.  i enjoyed
> writing it.
>
>
>
> Keep in mind i write for fun,  so  don't expect anything except thoughts
> if
> you are all interested in reading it.
>
> It's a word 2007 document  hopefully you don't have any problems.  if you
> do
> let me know.
>
> thanks,
> Ashley
>
>
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