[stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Donna Hill
penatwork at epix.net
Tue Feb 12 02:01:18 UTC 2013
Vejas,
I'm sorry you're going through this, but you have wonderful parents and you
really have your head on straight. I know it can hurt when people who should
be supporting you end up being insufferable busy-bodies,. It's been my
experience that when people think that others are stressing out a blind
person by encouraging and enabling them to succeed, it's because they don't
believe we are capable of anything to begin with. They think it's hopeless,
so they think your parents are needlessly burdening you. They don't believe
it even when they're confronted with blind people who are physicists,
doctors, lawyers or whatever. Just stick with the ones who love you and know
you have gifts and potential.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of vejas
Sent: Sunday, February 10, 2013 4:04 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Wow. That's kind of like what I'm facing right now. My parents have
encouraged me to do well, and they really care about me.
Someone else I know feels that my parents are causing me stress, but this
particular person is actually the one causing me stress because he often
puts my parents and I down. It hurts when people talk badly about my
parents because my parents are on my side, and between the 3 of us, we know
what's best for me.
Vejas
----- Original Message -----
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: Sun,
10 Feb 2013 14:21:29 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Anita,
Yes, it does hurt. You are far from alone, however. I was fortunate in
that my parents, even though my mother didn't accept that I really was
blind, at least pushed me and expected me to keep up with my peers. Other
relatives kept whatever views they had to themselves, and the ones who were
uncomfortable simply stayed away. I have known other people, however, who
had relatives that made (and in some cases continue to make) things
horrible for them.
In a very twisted circumstance (and I wrote about this gal, so I know she
wouldn't care if I mention it) a mother did a lot of both the best and worst
things you could do. She learned Braille so she could help her daughter
learn it and be involved in her education as she would with a sighted child.
She also told her daughter that anything she would achieve in this world
would be due to the kindness of others who would help her out of pitty. In
grad school, when she was making straight A's, she went to her adviser in
tears asking why all of the professors felt so sorry for her that they had
to give her A's. The counsellor told her that no one felt sorry for her and
that she'd earned the grades she was getting. It was a real wake-up call
for her.
Another woman I know, who is a lawyer and teacher had an experience when she
got excepted to graduate school. Her mother told her that she had been
sharing this good knews with her aunt, and the aunt was not impressed. She
said she thought that was horrible that they accepted a blind student and
she was taking opportunities away from more worthy sighted students.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Anita
Ogletree
Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 9:06 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
And I thought I was the onbby one who felt like people tend to avoid me
because I am blind. It reminds me of the time when I was moving into a dorm
room with this girl who told me as I was bringing my things in that she
couldn't help me with anything.
The guy that was helping me politely told her that I wouldn't need her help.
But there are some kin folk that behave the same way as total strangers.
And it hurts, you know?
Anita
----- Original Message -----
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date
sent:
Sat, 9 Feb 2013 17:10:49 -0600
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Lynda and Donna
Yes, do speak up in situations like this. It always surprises and yes,
disappoints me, but people can find blindness to be one of those life
factors to be uncomfortable with. Yeah, going blind is for too many of us a
major factor in losing friends and in the reluctance of new people becoming
our friend.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Donna Hill
Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:14 PM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Lynda,
They deserve that little tap. On the other hand, you knew that woman; she
could just as easily say that you ignored her. I'm sure that wasn't what
was actually going on, but just as an idea, why don't you consider saying
something next time? It could be as inocent as, "Hi, you're Peg from
knitting aren't you?" Some people are extremely uncomfortable about talking
to blind people. She might think you would probably start crying all over
the place about how you miss knitting so much and wish you could still do
it. She has prejudices that are not going to help either her or her loved
ones should any of them lose their sight.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 10:02 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Yes, Bridgit, I had just responded to this topic before I read your note
here. I spoke of my husband's inability to spell - which he would not
appreciate me talking about, I am sure. We will be married 52 years in
April,; I guess he would not be surprised that I said this about him.
Yes, I also have retained my visual way of doing things but have had to
adapt to make it work because I have to do most things non-visually these
days. I am on the Krafters-Korner NFB list and have received many good tops
there to help me re-learn how to do things I used to do. That group has
been wonderful in helping each other through challenges we have in doing
things non-visually.
I have never been blind in my dreams - and I dream constantly. I am never
blind in my own consciousness unless I am faced with an uncomfortable or
frightening situation and then I find that I become very blind at times.
Mostly that happens when I am out and come upon someone who knows me well,
and they do not know that I can tell they are there - and they choose to be
silent and not even acknowlege I am there. This happened yesterday at the
beauty shop. I was aware that a woman came into the shop as she passed by
me. I had a feeling I might know her because my hairdresser called her
"Peg." That is an unusual name, and I have only known about two Pegs or
Peggy's in my life. So I was alert, wondering if this was one that I know.
Shortly, she was seated in the waiting area and I came in there to get my
purse to pay for my services. I was only 3 feet from her, and she was
facing me. I see shadows, but no details, so I could tell the person was
looking directly at me. Absolute quiet! Not a hint that she knew me. As I
had been listening to her for awhile, I recognized her voice as she spoke
with others. It was definitely a lady from my knitting group who has known
me for a couple of years. I have sat with her in small groups of knitters
at different homes. I have been in her home on several occasions.
Yet, when she
ran into me at the hair dressers, she chose to be quiet and wait it out -
not in any way indicating we knew each other. My husband arrived, and as we
drove home I told him what has just happened to me. This is the kind of
thing I mean, when I say at times I feel very blind. This is the kind of
encounter only a blind person would have - because she has no idea I can
tell who she is, so she chose to ignore me.
My daughters and grand daughters often tell me how people will stare at me
because they see me walking with a long white cane. It amazes them how a
perfect stranger will stand beside me in line at a restaurant and actually
turn around and be looking directly at me because they think I cannot see
them. But, I can tell they are doing it. It is times like this when I
"accidently" hit them with my cane as I walk by.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org
Sent: Saturday, February 09, 2013 3:29 AM
Subject: [stylist] To ponder- taken to another level
Lynda,
I agree with you on this topic. Despite my blindness, I'm a very visual
person. I lost my sight nine years ago, but I continue to be an extremely
visual person.
I have learned Braille though, and studies have shown that when learning
Braille, even when not able to see at all, the brain is using its visual
aspect.
Each Braille character represents a letter in the alphabet and the exact
punctuation as print. Essentially it's a tactile form of print.
People assume it's paramount to a foreign language, but Braille is the
exact same language using the same rules for grammar, punctuation and
spelling, just in a tactile form. Various languages have their version of
Braille since many languages have nuances.
I too have wondered how people who have never been able to see visualize
things. I once asked a friend if he "saw" his dreams, and he said he
dreams with his other senses, which is very interesting.
I also met a fellow Federationist who is totally blind and always been,
and she was an art major at one of the big universities in Texas. Of
course there are blind medical doctors and engineers along with others
working in what would seem like very visual fields, and this doesn't cover
all the interests and hobbies like crafts, cars and athletics.
I think more and more blind people are facing challenges, and instead of
thinking about limitations, they are figuring out how to hurdle that
obstacle.
I do agree that I've met several blind people who misspell words
frequently, but I don't know if this is due to an inability to spell, if
they were not taught correctly or if they just don't edit before sending
material. I think a lot of people have this problem, blind and sighted.
JAWS is great for this because you actually hear the word, that is if you
take time to read through what you wrote, grin. But yes, I think people
who only know Braille can find difficulties when switching to print on a
keyboard. Many choose to use a Braille display and/or Braille keyboard.
I' not saying all Braille users are like this, but I have met many who are.
Ultimately, these things are most likely unique to individuals and not
necessarily a result of a disability. If you can't spell when blind,
chances are good you couldn't spell if sighted, smile.
Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter, editor, Slate & Style Read my blog
at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
"If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy,
we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world."
C. S. Lewis
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2013 13:02:00 -0500
From: "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Quote to ponder - taken to another level
Message-ID: <D52994C7F7964817A957168910B552B3 at Lambert
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=original
This is a really good question, Robert.
I have noticed that so many blind people spell things so wonky, and maybe
this is why. I always wonder is spelling is really taught and learned
visually. I really have no experience with any of the discussion on
Braille because I do not use it - I do everything with electronics and some
things
with a CCTV. I have only had sight loss for 5 years, so I
really have
no
idea how blind children learn things like spelling, grammar, formatting,
and punctuation. To me, they are all visual, and it is very hard for me to
understand it any other way - well, I really don't understand it any other
way. When I am reading (listening to a voice on a machine) I am still
listening visually. I see it in my mind, and if I cannot see it that way,
it's confusing to me. Auditory skills would rate very low for me.
Everyone has strength in certain skills and ways of learning - and I am a
Visual learner above all else. That did not change - I still have to be
able to SEE it to remember it - I have to stop and SEE a picture in my mind
before it sticks with me.
Writing and reading, for me, has always been a visual experience.
This makes me wonder, can a person who has always been blind be a Visual
learner?
And, then, I wonder, how does a blind person visualize things?
These
are some things I am thinking about and working with a blind painter
friend to put together an exhibition on how people see and visualize.
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